The Origin of John Smith's Idea

It is the author's intention to trace for the reader the genesis of a landmark in human social development, a new form of taxation! The term "landmark" is not in the slightest an exaggeration, for what could be more important to human society than taxation? Taxation, that plentiful provider for the politician, enabling him to enhance his power by giving back to those responsive elements of society (read voters) part of what was collected from all, and so control society. Governments could not exist without taxation; governments never would have arisen without taxation. How many revolutions had their very roots in taxation?

When taxation, a biblically sanctioned concept, was mated with sex, a naturally sanctioned concept, more particularly joined with marriage, there was bound to be a significant change in people's life-style and particularly in this society. This opus is a scholarly attempt to analyze historically the events that led to sex taxation and its unexpected consequences.

The author also wishes to register and deliver his encomium and record for posterity the glorious achievement of that pioneer politician, John Smith, who first conceived of the possibility, yea political necessity, of a sex tax. Though his honors have been of the highest, perhaps such a modest man would most appreciate the understanding of his achievement by a politician's most cherished possession, the voters.

The better the day, the better the deed-how often has it been said, yet a dreary day and a dreary legislative hall were to be the point and place in time, as the "New Frontiersmen" put it, which marked the beginning of the SEX TAX. The Sex Tax, later to be known as "the TAX" in conformity with society's penchant for simplification, was to rank with "the PILL" in importance as a shaper of social trends for the next decade.

Representative John Smith, third state legislative district, rose in the nearly empty lower legislative chamber in a late and dull Friday afternoon session and sought the attention of the Speaker of the House. The Speaker, suppressing a yawn, was looking the other way, but, catching the sidewise glances occasioned by John Smith's abrupt and nearly unprecedented rise, the Speaker turned to survey the floor. When the Speaker had recovered from surprise, for he had never known John Smith to seek the floor, be immediately, recognized the new representative.

The Speaker wondered whether there was to be a maiden speech on Friday afternoon when the galleries were practically empty and most reporters had left to file afternoon copy and begin their weekend boozing. Apparently the few other representatives in attendance shared the Speaker's thoughts, and he had to gavel down the buzz that spread throughout the hall.

The Speaker, a well-respected fatherly figure, welcomed speeches by freshmen of either party, particularly on otherwise dull afternoons. Smith’s speeches provided him with a modicum of humor, as he was keenly attuned to human foibles. He looked upon legislative speeches as efforts to gain attention. Representatives were so like fiddler crabs on a beach, holding up an outsized claw to gain their objective, a desirable female fiddler crab. The limitations imposed by gravity upon the male crab's immense claw limited his time of demonstration. How unfortunate, the Speaker had once remarked, that gravity did not operate upon legislators' vocal cords.

In earlier cloakroom conversations the Speaker had noted that John Smith was always brief and cogent. Smith did not seem to be possessed of that typical lust for publicity so common in legislators. In fact, the Speaker vaguely wondered how Smith had won election. Perhaps Smith had been the president of a PTA, or had had the advantage of an intra-party fight of opposing candidates.

John Smith, seeing that he had been recognized, nodded and began introducing his bill. It was not unusual that a freshman legislator introduce a bill; most came to the legislature full of ideas, ideas that would be launched as tiny ships onto a political ocean, soon to be beached on the cruel rocks of reality, or to be becalmed in the Sargasso Sea of a committee.

The taxation committee assignment given to John Smith reflected his party's judgment of his character and personality.

Smith didn't look like one who would rock the boat. The minority party leadership had an understanding with the majority party that neither would seriously interfere with the other's special-interest items. These were the bread and butter of politics, and one doesn't threaten another's bread. Certainly no freshman representative would be placed in a committee position where such a challenge might be offered.

John Smith was considered safe by both parties. He was expected to go along with the usual committee approaches to taxation problems and proposed legislation. The committee, with distressing regularity, recommended new taxes and increased rates.

This year further rate increases would be very difficult, and there was a dearth of new items to be taxed. It was to this situation that John Smith's bill spoke. Indeed, his bill was engendered by the difficulties the committee had encountered with current state tax revenues.

Neither the majority nor the minority leader had perceived, being of the usual political mental caliber, that John Smith was not only reliable but perceptive and inventive. They had little warning of the bombshell Smith was about to explode.

John Smith had sensed in the opening sessions of the taxation committee hearings the desperate situation of the state. Perhaps John Smith sensed the imminent problems even more acutely than the leadership. The leadership, long having dealt with taxation problems, was by experience of the "muddle through" school. This usually worked, except when it didn't. When it didn't, a crisis was declared, and the citizenry prorogued. But this was becoming increasingly difficult as the citizenry became politically more sophisticated and active. John Smith, ahead of his time, realized this.

Smith's awareness sparked his unconscious inventive capabilities. He possessed not only the usual political qualities but that quality so rare in politicians, imagination. His mind, searching for a significant change in taxation, chanced upon the idea of taxing sex.

Somewhere between the toilet and the bathtub one morning the Sex Tax emerged from Smith's unconscious into the light of his conscious mind. An ordinary politician would have scarcely noticed such a coincidence of taxation ideas. But John Smith, as we have noted, was perceptive. In a flash he realized that here was virgin territory for taxation. His mind chuckled at the pun, but was there really anything wrong with taxing sex?

John Smith, third legislative district neophyte politician, reviewed the idea carefully. Undoubtedly others had chanced upon such an idea; why was it so utterly unique? In all of the civilized world, among all of the political entities, there was nowhere such a tax. Surely something must be seriously wrong with the idea.

Now here the author must inject his own surmise as to the mental processes that followed. In no public discussion or writing has the esteemed Representative Smith seen fit to divulge exactly how and why he continued with this train of thought. It is the author's opinion that this very instant marked John Smith as a political genius.

A typical politician would have instantly rejected the Sex Tax idea as politically unacceptable. With no precedent, with no Gallup Poll to suggest a popular backing, our typical politician would have expelled the idea from his mind forthwith. That would have been the end of things. A typical politician would have gone on to the more important thoughts of the bathroom morning, such as whether to change his razor blade that day.

Without a groundswell of public opinion, no experienced politician would give second thought to a new idea. The essence of leadership, especially political leadership, is considered to consist of recognizing the cri du coeur emanating from the hoi polloi and formulating it in ringing tones, crisis tones if possible, and then fashioning a political crusade. Leadership, having created the crisis, glories in managing the crisis to the leader's desired political outcome. A new concept, originating in the mind of a politician, is inventive perhaps but not evidence of political leadership!

The author must agree with conventional political wisdom on this matter. John Smith, by all the established political canons, did not act as a politician for that split second. He continued to think about the new idea. But then, also possessing acute political instincts, he homed in on the problem. It was that moment, one step ahead as in basketball, that was critical.

John Smith made an analysis of the voter strength on both sides of the question. It was instantly obvious to a mind such as his that the balance would be well on the side favoring taxing sex. With that conclusion, John Smith decided to draft a bill. With that single step, John Smith set in motion the political forces that revolutionized taxation, society, and politics. With that step, John Smith entered the company of the immortals, a figure as commanding as Isaac Newton.

It would be premature to reveal the details of the sex taxation bill that emerged from his efforts in drafting this sensational piece of legislation. These will follow in due time. Rather, the author will attempt to follow the chronology of events so that history rather than philosophy is served. As interesting as would be the philosophy of mating sex and taxation, the chronology of subsequent events is more definite and historical. Certainly no one predicted, nor did anyone expect, the profound life-style change that occurred in America. To pursue the writings of second- guessing social philosophers who neither predicted nor timely recognized what was going on would certainly not serve truth. It would only serve the academe. The author prefers the unvarnished events imbedded in a verifiable chronology.

When John Smith arose, the slight quavering of lips and voice was not due to doubts about the legislation he was about to introduce. Rather shy, John Smith did not gain confidence from a single egotistical element in his nature. His confidence derived only from faith in his political analysis. Smith was not one who could call black white. Without that ability he could not have been expected to act with full professional political characteristics. No one subservient to facts and conscious of his own and most human analysis can speak with the sublime confidence of those politicians whose vision is not blinded by fact. We should excuse John Smith's noble reticence.

At Smith's first words, the few representatives assembled were electrified. The press corps, consisting only of a few still hung over victims of last night's testimonial dinner, were shocked into instant attention. Here was news, beautiful copy, from a most unexpected source. Their pencils flew!

The late local news broadcasts broke the story; the morning newspaper editions carried a few details. An obscure legislator, John Smith, had proposed a tax on sex!