bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone
has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how
we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very
favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? At
that time, your bucket was full. A bucket can be filled by a lot of things t
hat happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human
being, your bucket is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name,
especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on
your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still
higher. There must be a million ways to raise the level in another's
bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special
to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his
loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for
conversation, or, perhaps more important, listing to him. When one's
bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and
friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and
a dipper. Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your
bucket. This, too, can be done in a million ways. Lets say I am at a dinner
and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills
over the table cloth, on a lady's skirt, down onto the carpet. I am
embarrassed. "Bright Eyes" across the table says, "You upset that glass
of chocolate milk." I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me
about it! He got his dipper in my bucket! Think of the times a person
makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him
about the known mistake ("Red pencil" mentality!) Buckets are filled and
buckets are emptied ? emptied many times because people don't really
think about what are doing. When a person's bucket is emptied, he is very
different than when it is full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty,
"That is a pretty tie you have," and he may reply in a very irritated,
defensive manner. Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are
people who seem to have holes in their buckets. When a person has a hole
in his bucket, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their
buckets. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his bucket
because he keeps losing. The story of our lives is the interplay of the
bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the
bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another's bucket it does not
take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets
higher when we fill another's, and, on the other hand, when we dip into
another's bucket we do not fill our own ... we lose a little. For a variety of
reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do
not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction
connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this
hesitancy are that people think it sounds "fakey," or the other person will
be suspicious of the motive, or it is "brown-nosing." Therefore, let us put
aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone's life in order to fill their
bucket.
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