Parents can work to change their child's difficult behavior by modeling nurturing caring and thoughtful behavior toward one's family and others outside the family, and by encouraging their child's ability to take disappointment calmly.
To do this:
· Look for times when your child acts in a nurturing, thoughtful or caring way. At a later time, in private, take him aside and vividly recount the desirable behavior.
· Immediately follow this with 100-percent praise.
· Explain that this behavior is of value because it shows caring toward others or maturity in calmly accepting disappointment or delay.
· Immediately and casually follow this praise by spending five to 15 minutes with your child doing something that he or she enjoys.
Children with difficult-child behavior gradually learn to replace inappropriate actions with positive behavior when parents notice and reward caring behavior. While punishment has a role, it should be fair, infrequent, immediate, brief and invoked only for the most serious problems.
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