| BRAIN WONDERS 24 - 36 MONTHS TODDLERS The third year of your child's life is an active one, both verbally and physically. Language and movement skills increase dramatically and support your toddler's intellectual and social development. Relationships-first with adults and later with other children-are extremely important, since relationships provide the context for learning. Another important context for your child's development is play-particularly "make-believe" (also called imaginary or sociodramatic) play, which is beginning to develop. Play creates an opportunity for learning new skills, such as problem-solving, self-care routines, conversation, and much more. Parents, caregivers, and even other children can provide guidance and interactions that help toddlers expand their thinking and actions during times playing together, even while allowing the toddler to take the lead in the play time. Repetition continues to be important in the development of language and movement, as it is repeated experiences that reinforce the pathways of the brain. By two years of age, a toddler's cerebral cortex contains well over a hundred trillion synapses, which is actually some 50 percent more synapses than she will keep as an adult. While new synapses form rapidly during this timeframe, a "pruning" process is also taking place. This process strengthens frequently used pathways, while deleting those that are not used. As pruning continues, it will allow your child to process thoughts and actions more quickly and efficiently. Myelination (the insulating of the pathways in the brain) also continues, but not as intensively as in the first two years. Myelination helps strengthen connections that underlie language, memory, emotions, attention, planning, sensory integration, and coordination of movement. By age three, your toddler's brain is about 80 percent of adult size. What's Going On:Motor Coordination Two-year olds are very active. You may notice it is more difficult to keep up with your little one. Running, jumping, and climbing may be part of her activities now. Your toddler's large trunk and limb muscles are growing and strengthening with age and use. In the same ways, the brain is also being "exercised." Movement and learning stimulate brain growth. Your toddler's brain is continually forming new connections that will be refined as she grows. Myelination of the areas that control voluntary movement contributes to improved precision and speed of gross motor skills as well as fine motor skills such as finger and hand movements. You may notice that your toddler is more adept at drawing, using scissors, and building. You may also notice that she is developing a hand preference. Heredity and imitation both play a part in determining handedness. Typically, a child may switch back and forth several times before settling on a preferred hand. This switching behavior is actually quite useful. It is a way of making sure that both hands master basic manipulative skills while the brain is still in its most intensive wiring period. Practice and repetition are again the rules of thumb-and what comes naturally to your little one. The slide will be fun to climb many times in a row and the more times she throws the ball, the more exciting it is. Repetition solidifies the pathways that carry out these processes, refining them and making them quicker. Repetition is the brain's way of exercising. What You Can Do: Motor Coordination · Spend time outside where there is plenty of room to safely run, jump, and climb. You may choose to visit a neighborhood park where there are other children for your toddler to play with and imitate. Join in the fun yourself! · On rainy days, you can help your child build "crawling tunnels" out of cushions and blankets. Because they are so small, toddlers can get exercise indoors much more easily than adults. · Jungle gyms provide a great way to use the arm, leg, and trunk muscles together, and they can be great for pretend play. Supervision is important to make sure structures are safe for climbing. · Try movement games such as follow the leader. · Dance to music! Dancing may get out the "wiggles," and music is also great for language development. · As your toddler gets closer to age three, she may enjoy simple crafts that allow her to cut and paste, color, or string beads. Use of scissors and small objects may need more careful supervision. · Don't forget your everyday activities. More and more, she'll want to be a "big girl." That will involve doing things for herself-many of which require use of her fine motor muscles, such as getting dressed, helping set the table, or pouring milk from a small pitcher onto her cereal. What's Going On:Language Development Your toddler's ability to communicate should be improving rapidly during this period. She should be able to use about 200-250 words (expressive communication) at around two years of age, and you will see her combining words and adding new words each day. Particularly as she nears age three, her vocabulary should be much larger with three- and four-word sentences. You may also notice that she is pronouncing words better. Her "receptive vocabulary"--the number of words she can understand--is actually much larger, growing by a few thousand words in the third year. In addition, you will see her understanding more and more instructions that you give and even some time-related directions ("we can go to the park after your snack"). While some children reach these milestones earlier and some a bit later than two years, the important thing is that you see her combining words and adding new words on a continuous basis. Also, around age two, your toddler may be using what is called "telegraphic speech" - short phrases with just the basic information, such as "Daddy play ball." She is learning the power of communication and will want to practice. You can see the great value of music with its rhyming and rhythm and in particular, the value of reading. Reading to your child-especially books with repeated phrases and rhyming words-helps her become aware of the individual sounds (phonemes) that make up words, which is an important step in learning how to read. Play that involves turn-taking can be helpful for showing how these words that she is using fit into the role of conversation. Many people wonder if television can prove helpful in learning language. While an hour or less a day of educational programming is not harmful, television is no substitute for personal interaction with a parent or caregiver. Only another person can provide the social interaction and feedback that is so critical in learning language. Many parents are concerned about using television to entertain their toddlers while they get necessary tasks done around the house. Having special activities (story books and tapes, special drawing materials, or building toys) for specific times like these and setting aside times for "quiet time" activities during the day may help little ones play independently and provide some extra time for parents to get things done. What You Can Do: Language Development · Spend time talking together and use everyday opportunities to converse with your child. You can talk and ask questions about colors as your fold laundry or sort socks, or describe the different vegetables as you and your toddler garden or grocery shop. · Play and "make-believe" with your child. Imaginary play, which may be developing, will provide opportunities for describing, labeling, and questioning: "You are cooking dinner. The soup smells very good. What do you call this soup?" · Use play as an opportunity to teach turn-taking, whether you are sharing a toy or an activity. Allow her to see that you take turns and that this also happens when you talk. · When talking with your child, try to ask questions and make comments, rather than give directions and commands. You can make comments that involve comparisons and contrasts (cognitive skills), labeling, and describing: "You have a big block and I have a little one." "You are making the doll dance." By following her lead, you can allow her be creative and give direction to your play time. · Use "parallel talk" to fill in gaps and expand on your child's language. For instance if she says "doggie home," you can comment, "Yes, the doggie is home from his walk." This can allow you to enhance her language skills without making her feel like you are correcting her. · Sing songs together. · Read books to her-particularly ones with repeated phrases and rhyming words so that she can hear and compare sounds. · When your toddler does watch television, take some time to watch it with her. This allows you to see what she is learning and modeling. You can also use it as a time to engage in conversation about what is happening on the show, by asking questions and commenting. · Make a special activity box for quiet time play. You may wish to set aside a specific time each day for such activities that allow you time to get other tasks done around the house. What's Going On: Relationships and Emotions The "Terrible Two's" We have all heard of the "terrible two's," but what is actually happening emotionally during this time? Since two-year olds are still learning to separate action from thought, their bodies are in motion at the same time their minds are working. Your toddler is experimenting with conflict and understanding what to do. You may hear many a "want now," "not finished yet," and "my way" from your little one. He is not yet able to delay gratification, and it is difficult for him to wait. In addition, a toddler's efforts to express himself often emerge in screams and tantrums instead of words. This may vary with the temperament of your toddler-some children are feistier and some more laid back. At this point, you are increasingly able to recognize your child's signals and cues, which may give advance warning of a tantrum. Your toddler's innate temperament, combined with environmental influences, wire the brain's limbic system to create his unique personality. As a parent, your emotional responses and social interactions serve as a model for your child to mimic. The limbic circuits are structured from these experiences-which explains why we often catch ourselves reacting similarly to our own parents. Other emotional swings may bring everything from pride in accomplishments to fears to possessiveness of family members and objects. Independence is also emerging with his sense of self. This may bring mixed feelings for you as a parent, but it's important to remember that his wanting to do things himself doesn't mean that he does not need you. Rather, he needs you in a different way-as an admiring audience as well as a coach. You can encourage him with admiration and comments on new skills and accomplishments "You did that all by yourself!" The two's are not so "terrible" in other ways. You may see the very early beginnings of empathy and attempts to comfort. He is just starting to gain an understanding of how others feel. You may see him try to pat or kiss a "boo-boo" if you hurt yourself or hug you if you are sad. You may also notice a recurring question: "Why?" Curiosity is developing, as is the desire to understand what is happening around him. So spend time talking and questioning together. It's a great opportunity to learn, explore, use imagination, and have fun! What You Can Do: Relationships and EmotionsThe "Terrible Two's" ·Allow him to experiment. He will want to try things himself, and you can take advantage of opportunities that are convenient and safe for him to do so. · Provide opportunities for play and social time with others. · During times of frustration, help him to identify his feelings with words "You are upset that your tower fell down." · Be aware that your little one will imitate your own words, reactions, and emotions. · When your child loses control, stay calm. This will help him feel safe. It is also an opportunity for you to model self-control. Remember, temper tantrums do not go on forever--it just seems that way at times! · Note particular times of day or typical experiences that precipitate a "fall out." If you can identify specific stressors, such as hunger or fatigue, it will help you anticipate times that may be more difficult for your child. You may be able to make adjustments to minimize the negative impact, when practical. · Remember that when your child misbehaves, he is not doing it to "get you," although it may feel that way sometimes. He is trying to learn about his world, how different behaviors and actions lead to different consequences. Your response can have a powerful influence on his behavior. What's Going On:Patterns and Routines Play Play is one of the most important ways in which toddlers develop their many skills--so much so, it is often called the "work" of toddlers. You may be noticing how your toddler's play habits have changed over the months from playing alone, to playing side-by-side with another child, to actually wanting to play with someone. The ability to "make believe" is beginning to develop now, as well. Make-believe play supports the ability to separate thoughts from actions (as when a toddler uses a toy tea set or a block to symbolize a drink), which is a vital stepping stone to the later development of abstract thought. Abstract thought--the ability to think about or visualize a concept without it really being there to recognize--is an important component of many skills such as math, logic, and creativity. It's important to allow your toddler to take the lead in your play time, but you can help by knowing when to step in so that he does not give up or become frustrated. For example, allow him time to try again and again as he makes a house for a stuffed toy out of blocks, but offer a little help or guide him toward another solution if you see a tantrum is about to develop. By engaging in play with your toddler, you can provide just enough hints and help to encourage a new skill or ability. Play also allows toddlers to learn and practice "routines" of behavior-such as putting letters in a satchel and delivering them to different "mailboxes" when pretending to be a mail carrier, or chopping and stirring ingredients for a recipe when pretending to cook. This is also a wonderful age for peer or group play, which helps develop social skills, although adults may be the preferred playmate for a while. Play is also very important for language development, since it creates many opportunities for comparing and contrasting, turn-taking, and problem-solving. Once again, repetition is important. You may find yourself playing the same games over and over again. You may also notice what is called "self talk"-your toddler repeating phrases and instructions to himself, for example, "Now turn the page," "Do it like this." He is giving himself reminders and directions by repeating words others have used with him. Most preschoolers talk to themselves at some point, which provides very normal rehearsal for their new language skills and contributes in an important way to their growing self-awareness. You may wonder: will my toddler remember these years? Because of the slow development of the brain's limbic system, the part of the brain that stores long-term memories, he may not remember much in his long-term memory. However, he will retain memories over the span of several weeks and months, even if he doesn't recall them as an adult. These short-term memories are very important ones--they help him learn and make sense of his world. Experiences build on each other and have a cumulative effect, so his young experiences are important for the later ones as an adult. You can encourage his use of memory by talking about past activities and asking questions. What You Can Do: Patterns and Routines Play · Engage your little one in imaginary play by providing props and things to play with-they need not be expensive toys-everyday objects as well as old dress-up clothes, boxes, and blocks provide many opportunities to use the imagination. · While playing, you can comment and question what is happening. Allow him to take the lead in giving directions, but allow your participation to challenge his thinking to that next level. "Who are you talking to on the phone?" "That is a pretty picture of a tree you are drawing. What animals live in that tree?" · Use everyday activities to spend time learning together. Since he is beginning to understand simple instructions and likes imitating you, he may want to help you with chores, such as setting the table or making a snack. These ordinary activities provide lots of opportunities to use new skills, such as comparing and contrasting ("We can use the little spoon to eat with and the big spoon for the salad.") and turn-taking ("You put a napkin down and then I'll put one down."). Have fun! Learning occurs in the context of the relationship you have with your child. · Provide times for your toddler to play with others at friends' homes or in a playgroup, at a neighborhood park, or at special activity programs. · As your toddler approaches three, you may begin supporting his capacity for remembering things by questioning him about past events or things in general. He will begin building the skills for later understanding of time and causality. What's Going On:Senses All of your toddler's senses are very well developed by this time, and she is continuing to use them to explore her world. Since learning is still very much "hands on," she will need to experience things directly with her senses in order to learn about them. Now that she is more mobile, you may notice that you are continually on the alert to make sure her sensory experiments are safe ones! Initially, the senses developed somewhat in isolation, but by this stage, "sensory integration" is taking place. Toddlers are learning to appreciate how certain sounds, sights, smells, tastes, and textures go together. In addition, although the sense of smell is rather precocious, it is only at around age three that most kids become aware of the difference between pleasant and foul odors-helpful timing in reinforcing on-going potty-training.As you continue to learn more about your little one's temperament, you may also be recognizing the amount of "sensory stimulation" that is just right for her. Some children love lots of noises and sights, while others need a little less excitement. Some may like to be held and hugged a lot. Others need more of their own space. One temperament is not better than the other. Each child has her own unique style and way of learning. By knowing what kind of sensory stimulation your toddler prefers, you can help create a learning environment that is best for her. What You Can Do: Senses · Use everyday opportunities to explore with the senses: smell the flowers, taste new foods, listen to different sounds as you sit on the porch at night, sing, talk, and laugh together! · Look for ways in which your toddler may either be bored (needing more stimulation) or too excited or scared (overstimulated). What's Going On:Self-Help Skills Toilet-Training There is a wide range in age for readiness to develop skills such as language, social behaviors, and toilet training. An important step is looking for your toddler's cues that she is ready to begin. Once these cues are present, looking into potential toileting routines, being consistent, and letting your toddler lead the way provide keys for successfully completing this process -- with the usual ups and downs of toddlerhood in full swing! Your toddler is beginning to have greater control of the muscles that control the sphincter and the bladder. This occurs as myelinization progresses for both the centers in the brain that allow for sphincter control and for the nerves traveling from the brain to the lower body. With this greater level of neurological development, your toddler can recognize how it feels to hold on and to let go, and has the physical ability to control those physical functions. Parents of toddlers are often concerned about toilet training: when will it happen and who's in control are two questions that parents frequently face. You may not quite be ready for your baby to stop being a baby -- even though you might love to be rid of those smelly diapers. On the other hand, you may be in more of a hurry because of the demands of child care centers that will only accept children who are toilet trained, because of the cost of diapers, or because other toddlers of this age are toilet trained. Ultimately, the outcome depends on your toddler. But, you as a parent can make use of the skills you have already learned to provide consistent and nurturing guidance to your toddler along the way. What You Can Do: Self-Help Skills Toilet-Training Step 1: Is my toddler ready for toilet training? Your toddler may give you signs that she is ready to begin toilet training. Here are some of the things that you can watch for: · Your toddler begins to express discomfort at a wet or soiled diaper or she notices the difference between being wet and being dry. · You notice that your toddler is concerned or worried about getting dirty or making a mess. She is beginning to learn from those around her that being clean and orderly are important. · Your toddler wants to imitate you or her older siblings. · Your toddler lets you know when he is peeing and/or pooping. · Your toddler uses a specific word to indicate "pee" or "poop" · You begin to notice that your toddler seeks out a corner of the room or goes behind a chair to pee or poop. · Your toddler can take her pants off by herself and enjoys the "by myself" part of this and other activities. Step 2: Am I ready to toilet train my toddler? Here are some tips that may help you as a parent: · Try using a potty. The potty is the right size for a toddler and avoids fears of the "big" toilet. Put the potty in a special place and give your toddler time to get used to it. Sitting on the potty in her clothes is a great way to help her get used to it. · Remind your child to sit on the potty at regular intervals. Don't force your toddler to sit on the potty and let her get up when she decides she's ready. Remember, this is a "no pressure" system so that your child can be the "boss of her body." · Look for signs that your toddler is ready to pee or poop. Suggest that she use the potty and help her to get undressed. Let her know what a good job she did when there is success and try to avoid criticism if she doesn't quite get it right. · Be sympathetic when your toddler has accidents. "Sometimes it's hard to remember to go to the potty when you're so busy playing." · Encourage your toddler to imitate you or her siblings. · When your toddler shows a pattern of consistent successes at using the potty ask her if she's ready to give up the diaper -- for starters, just during the day. · Many children are initially very interested in the potty and then lose interest for a period of time. Don't worry, she'll return to the task when she's ready. |