Love, Marriage, Widows, Bachelors and Babies
By Lisa Reynolds

What color is your hair, Anissa? "Still blonde!" And so, in the best tradition of movie and TV stars, Miss Jones confidently flipped back her answer to our query while being interviewed for Photoplay. Anissa and Johnnie Whitaker are the television twins of the popular CBS-TV series Family Affair. Anissa, who plays Buffy, is a nine-year-old strawberry blonde; a sharp, very affectionate forty-five pound bundle of femininity. Johnnie, who plays Jody, is seven, redheaded and freckle-faced -- a bright, mischievous handful of charm.

So, you see, they are both well-qualified to give their views on a wide range of worldly subjects. Coincidentally, the fathers of both children are school teachers.

The topic under discussion at the moment was Hot Tamales. The waitress stood patiently by as the two decided on their orders. Finally, Anissa said: "Well, Johnnie doesn't like Hot Tamales but I do, so I'll have Hot Tamales."

Johnnie countered with: "I don't want Hot Tamales because I don't like them."

With this momentous decision out of the way, I began to quiz them on their attitudes towards life, love, marriage, etc.

Question: How does it feel to be back in regular school instead of with Mrs. Denny at the studio?

Anissa: Well, it's gooder, but I like the studio school, too.

Question: Were they glad to see you when you came back?

Anissa: The girls like me when I came back.

Question: But the boys didn't say anything?

Anissa: Some of them did.

Question: Have you gained any weight since I saw you?

Anissa: I don't know. Now I weigh 45. You know what? Today on my eye test, if I missed three more letters I would have had to wear glasses. They make you put paper over your one eye, and make you read this chart.

Question: How many letters did you get?

Anissa: You had to get fifteen out of twenty. I missed two and three more would make fifteen.

Question: I'll give you some eye exercises. Roll your eyes so you can see better.

Anissa: I'm doing it right now.

Question: Just don't roll them at every boy.

Anissa: Yea, because they think you like them if you do that.

Question: Do you like boys?

Anissa: Just one. I'm a one-man woman.

Question: Did you hear that somewhere?

Anissa: Yea, in a movie.

Question: What's he got that's so special?

Anissa: Everything. He's got blond hair; he's big.

Question: How much bigger than you?

Anissa: About a head.

Question: What color eyes does he have?

Anissa: I don't know. He sits in front of me and I never get to see. But he has a nice back.

Question: How do you know what he looks like then?

Anissa: Well, when we're getting in line, I get a look.

Question: Are you going to marry him?

Anissa: He doesn't know that I like him.

Question: Are you going to tell him?

Anissa: I told him once but he got sick.

Question: Why do you think he did that?

Anissa: I don't think he likes girls yet.

Question: Are you still in love with Anissa, Johnnie?

Johnnie: Yea, even though I got a new baby at home.

Question: Is she your girlfriend?

Johnnie: Well -- kind of a sister-girlfriend. 'Cause she is a sister and a girlfriend, so she's both.

Question: I thought you and Johnnie were romantic about each other?

Anissa: I'm too old for Johnnie now. I'll stop my birthdays until Johnnie is grown.

Johnnie: You'll miss two birthdays.

Anissa: Are you jealous or something?

Johnnie: A man is never jealous!

Question: Do you want to get married?

Johnnie: No. I just want to have a lot of girlfriends.

Question: And you, Anissa?

Anissa: I don't think so. I might be a widow, though.

Question: What's a widow?

Anissa: That's a woman without a husband. Johnnie is a bachelor and I'm a widow.

Question: Don't you mean old maid?

Anissa: Oh, no! That's someone the boys don't like.

Question: What if someone wanted to marry you?

Anissa: Oh, well -- if someone really likes me a lot.

Question: I like you a lot.

Anissa: You're too old.

Question: But I really like you.

Anissa: Oh, all right.

Johnnie: But you just met him.

Anissa: Well, you can be my adopted grandfather.

Johnnie: You mean father.

Question: But if you're waiting for Johnnie to grow up, what about me?

Anissa: I can marry you till he grows up and then I'll be baptized.

Question: Who do you want to look like when you grow up?

Anissa: Oh, my mom.

Question: Have you any more freckles?

Anissa: I don't know.

Question: Have you been out in the sun?

Anissa: No. I always have homework; I never get to play.

Question: What do you do after school?

Anissa: I go home. I do my homework. Maybe I'll have a second or two to go outside.

Question: What kind of games do you like?

Anissa: We don't play games. We just run around and play on bars. I can do lots of tricks.

Question: Maybe you should get into the circus when you grow up?

Anissa: No, I'm going to be an artist.

Question: What kind of art do you like?

Anissa: There's only one kind of art, isn't there?

Question: No, there are many kinds.

Anissa: I like lots of kinds. I paint and I draw with pencils and I like color.

Question: You color with crayons, I know. Is Johnnie any good at that?

Anissa: No, he's not too good.

Question: Is he a better actor than you are?

Anissa: I don't know. I can't tell the difference.

Question: Have you talked to Sebastian Cabot at any time at all recently?

Anissa: Yes.

Question: How's he feeling?

Anissa: The last time I talked with him he was kind of sad because of the operation.

Question: You know he's all right now.

Anissa: Yea.

Question: I think he lost some weight.

Anissa: Yea, the last time he came back he lost twenty-five pounds.

Question: Would you like him thinner?

Anissa: No. I like him the way he is.

Question: Would you like to see him try and get fatter?

Anissa: No. I like him the way he is.

Question: Johnnie, your mother had a baby girl. Do you like her?

Johnnie: Yea.

Question: I thought you wanted a boy?

Johnnie: I did.

Question: Why did you change your mind?

Johnnie: Whatever God gives us, we'll have it. I don't care. I don't care even if it is a monkey! I like it.

Question: You now have eight at home. Do you have room for eight?

Johnnie: We have a little cradle and my little brother is going to sleep in the bottom bunk 'cause my daddy fixed a room outside for my brother. And my sister is older than my biggest brother. My biggest sister is older than my biggest brother because --

Question: How old are you now?

Johnnie: I'm seven, almost seven and a half.

Question: You had a birthday party on the set, didn't you?

Johnnie: Uh huh -- and that's as good as a real birthday party. I got lots of presents -- I got five dollars.

Question: Five dollars? Spent it yet?

Johnnie: Oh, I got presents for my -- well, for Christmas and I think I still have four dollars left.

Anissa: (leaning over, cupping her mouth) I've got a secret, but I don't know whether or not to tell you.

Question: Please tell me.

Anissa: Do you believe in Santa Claus? There really isn't a Santa Claus.

Johnnie: I heard him laugh and go Ho, Ho, Ho, as his sleigh passed over our house. I could hear him.

Anissa: That was your daddy.

Question: Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Johnnie: Yes, I do! Just in case there is one. Besides, my daddy says so.

Question: Your dad knows everything, doesn't he?

Johnnie: No, not everything.

Question: He's a pretty smart guy. Does he ever whip you?

Johnnie: No, he never whips me, but he spanks me.

Question: Do you cry when he spanks you?

Johnnie: Yea -- he spanks me like -- like a hippopotamus.

Question: What is the worst thing you've ever done?

Johnnie: I don't think I've done anything.

Question: Do you look like your mommy or daddy?

Johnnie: I look like my sister.

Question: But your sister looks like your mommy.

Johnnie: Not my oldest one, but my youngest one. Not the youngest sister, but the second youngest. The youngest is the new one that just came home.

Question: When you grow up, how many children do you want?

Johnnie: Five thousand -- so I can name five thousand. I like to name them.

Question: What would you name your first child?

Johnnie: I'd call one Tree, one Monkey, one Caterpillar.

Question: How would you take care of five thousand kids? That would take a lot of money.

Johnnie: I know, but I'll be rich.

Question: How do you figure that?

Johnnie: I'm almost a movie star now.

Question: How much allowance do you get?

Johnnie: A quarter a week.

Question: What do you do with it?

Johnnie: Buy candy.

Question: You don't look like a movie star.

Johnnie: I know.

Question: How should a movie star look?

Johnnie: He should be in a big Cadillac with a chauffeur, and talk like this: "Driver, take me to the market, young man." And go to a lot of places.

Anissa: I would like to go to New York.

Question: Would you go with me?

Anissa: No. I would go if my brother could go and my mom.

Question: Do it have to be all three?

Anissa: Yea, that's not too much.

Question: That's a thousand dollar plane ticket right there.

Anissa: Yea, but we could pack me in the bag and smuggle me, and then just my mom and Paul.

Question: If you went to New York what would you like to see most?

Anissa: Greenwich Village 'cause it has all the beatniks.

Question: You like the beatniks?

Anissa: I never saw one and I want to see how they live.

Question: But you can see them in San Francisco or here on the Sunset Strip.

Anissa: I just want to go where there's only beatniks, no other kind of people.

Question: How would you get in there?

Anissa: I'd dress up like a beatnik, because I was once a beatnik for Halloween. I wore a long T shirt, sandals, and my mom's wig. She has a wig but never wears it.

Question: Can you write?

Anissa: Yea, I'm in the fourth grade. I've been writing for a whole year.

Question: Do you like your brother Paul as much as that boy in school?

Anissa: Yea. He's much nicer; the boy in front of me -- well, he's just cute.

Question: What about your birthday?

Anissa: Paul bought me everything -- every last penny of his money.

Question: What will you do for him?

Anissa: I don't know -- oh, a walkie-talkie. He's been asking for one of those things for I don't know how long.

Question: Have you got enough money?

Anissa: Twelve dollars in the bank!

Question: Do you get an allowance?

Anissa: Nope, that's worthless. I always lose it.

At this point, both children noticed for the first time the shorthand notes scribbled in my notepad. As I was leaving, Anissa leaned over and whispered: "Is that Chinese?"

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