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Family Affair Season One


Episodes

  1. Buffy (Pilot)
  2. Jody and Cissy
  3. The Gift Horse
  4. The Matter of School
  5. Marmalade
  6. Room with a Viewpoint
  7. Mrs. Beasley, Where Are You?
  8. Who's Afraid of Nural Shpeni?
  9. A Matter for Experts
  10. Beware the Other Woman
  11. Take Two Aspirin
  12. Love Me, Love Me Not
  13. The Thursday Man
  14. Think Deep
  15. Hard Hat Jody
  16. That Was the Dinner That Wasn't
  17. All Around the Town
  18. One for the Little Boy
  19. Fancy Free
  20. A Helping Hand
  21. Once in Love with Buffy
  22. Ballerina, Buffy
  23. The Mother Tongue
  24. Everybody Needs Somebody
  25. The Way it Was
  26. All Nephews are Created Equal
  27. The Prize
  28. What Did You Do in the West, Uncle?
  29. The Award
  30. The Butler Method

    001--Buffy (Pilot)

    Aired:9/12/66. Written by:Edmund Hartmann. Directed by: James Sheldon.

    Synopsis:Successful construction engineer Bill Davis resides in what his gentleman's gentleman French refers to as "the quiet, monastic atmosphere of the bachelor apartment." ("Monastic" is a bit ironic considering that Bill's calendar finds him dating about four women in the space of less than a week.) He is returning from work in India that was successful enough to land him on the cover of World magazine (headline: American engineer builds dam in India) when his domestic life is turned upside-down. Fran Higer arrives from Terre Haute, Ind., with Bill's young niece, Buffy. Buffy's parents were killed in an "accident," presumably a car accident, about a year before. Bill was in Turkey at the time, and Buffy and her siblings were separated and placed with various relatives in Terre Haute. (It's not stated, but since Aunt Fran doesn't seem to be Bill's sister, she must the sister of the children's mother.) Fran wants Buffy to live with Bill because the child--defiant and unemotional--can't get along with Mr. Higer. Believing that his bachelor status and frequent travels make him unsuitable as a father figure, Bill resists. Meanwhile, French is appalled at having to perform such duties as serving milk and cookies and escorting Buffy to the bathroom. He calls her "a little clot," and she responds by biting his leg. Bill gently reprimands Buffy and tries to make her see that living with him would not be ideal for her. "Why don't you want me to live with you?" she asks flatly. During this conversation, Fran slips out and leaves Buffy behind. The next morning, Buffy overhears Bill telling French that he is sending her back to Terre Haute. Buffy spends the day with French in the park, where she beats up a boy and where French faces teasing from a group of nannies who believe he has joined their ranks. At the suggestion of his partner, Ted Gaynor, Bill decides to send Buffy to school in Switzerland rather than back to Terre Haute. When he tells Buffy, she is characteristically unresponsive, but in her room she cries and writes a farewell note that reads, "If you don't like me, just say so. You don't have to send me all the way to that place." Years of nanny experience help French's friend Miss Faversham lead French to Buffy's hiding place in the basement. When Uncle Bill realizes how upset she is, he tells her she can stay. "Grown-ups always tell you things like that at night to make you go to sleep. It's all different in the morning," she replies. Uncle Bill assures her that he's telling the truth and tells her that he loves her. For the first time, Buffy smiles and stops her curt "Yes, sir," "No, sir," answers. Soon Uncle Bill must leave for Peru. Just as he's leaving, Buffy's twin Jody arrives with another relative, who thought the twins should be together. After Bill departs, the twins' teenage sister Cissy shows up, leaving an exasperated French to remark, "Good heavens, I am a nanny."

    Commentary: This is a very good pilot that sets up the show's situation with equal parts comedy and pathos. Tiny Anissa Jones and Johnnie Whitaker are at their most adorable, and Jones does a good job portraying Buffy, whether deadpan, miserable or happy. It's startling to see Buffy behaving naughtily at times, but behavioral and emotional problems seem realistic for a child who's suffered the loss of both parents and separation from her siblings. Her treatment at Aunt Fran's seems less than ideal, also, considering her remark about being stuck in a closet as punishment and her cynicism about being lied to by adults. Fran's behavior here--dumping Buffy at the apartment and sneaking out--is pretty disgusting. The pilot version of Mrs. Beasley lacks glasses and has a less cute face than the one used throughout the series.

    Guest Cast: Ted Gaynor: Philip Ober. Fran Higer: Louise Latham. Miss Larrabee: Lisa Seagram. Miss Hodges: Sandra Wirth. Bess Melville: Barbara Perry. Miss Ponsonby: Nora Marlowe. Mrs. Grayson: Shirley O'Hara. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Heather Angel appeared in many movies, including That Hamilton Woman and Suspicion. She also did voices in Disney's Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan. Most of the actors in this episode were frequent guests on TV shows of the '50s and '60s. The career of Latham, who would return twice as Aunt Fran, spanned from Perry Mason and Gunsmoke in the '50s to CHiPs and The Waltons in the '70s, Designing Women and Hunter in the '80s and E.R. in the '90s. Her first movie role was as the title character's mother in Hitchcock's Marnie, and she appeared in a host of TV movies over nearly three decades. Among Ober's many guest appearances were two on I Love Lucy--not surprising since he was once married to Vivian Vance. O'Hara can claim The Twilight Zone, The Bob Newhart Show, The Mary Tyler Moore Show and, most recently, Law & Order among her TV credits. Marlowe also appeared on The Bob Newhart Show, along with Wagon Train, The Twilight Zone, Petticoat Junction, Charlie's Angels and many other shows. She would return to Family Affair three times. Perry's guest appearance ranged from The Lucy Show and Bewitched to Murphy Brown and Married...With Children. She was Pickles on The Dick Van Dyke Show.

    Fun Facts: Uncle Bill is not fond of ballet. Bill's business partner is Ted Gaynor.

    Notable Quotes: "May I ask, madam, what is a Buffy?" French "Mrs. Beasley is not a doll. Mrs. Beasley is my friend." Buffy

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    002--Jody and Cissy

    Aired:9/19/66. Written by: Edmund Hartmann and Henry Garson. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    SynopsisWhen Uncle Bill calls home from Peru, he is surprised to find that Cissy has joined the household. Upon his return, he make plans to send her back to Indiana. Overhearing him, Cissy pretends she wants to go. When she says she thinks it's foolish, at her age, to "believe in the magic of people loving and caring," Uncle Bill feels guilty and decides she should stay. This almost leads to another departure--that of French, who believes the three children require a housekeeper/nanny. When Buffy slips her beloved Mrs. Beasley in French's suitcase to keep him company, French is touched and returns to the Davis household.

    Commentary: Buffy and Jody are adorable again--I especially like Buffy's description of slippers as "hairy shoes." I also like that the kids' emotional troubles haven't instantly disappeared. Jody has a nightmare and cries out for his mother, while Buffy mentions crying at night while Uncle Bill was gone.

    Guest Cast: Hardcastle: Noel Drayton. Miss Lee: Betty Lynn. Radio Operator: James Victor. Betty Lynn played Thelma Lou on The Andy Griffith Show. She would return three times as Uncle Bill's secretary.

    Fun Facts: Uncle Bill has done some big game hunting. Jody doesn't care for baths, at least those given by women. Jody has a turtle. Cissy is 15. Uncle Bill's secretary, Miss Lee, makes her first appearance.

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    003--The Gift Horse

    Aired: 9/26/66. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis:Uncle Bill returns from East Africa with gifts for the kids, and Cissy gives him a hand-knit tie. With $1.07 between them, Buffy and Jody decide to find the perfect gift for Uncle Bill. Baffled by French's suggestion of a gift certificate, they search in vain for something Bill needs. When they learn that their friend Mr. McGovern, who operates a hansom cab with a broken down horse named Rosie, is giving up his cab and parting with Rosie, they decide a horse is the one thing Uncle Bill needs. When French learns that McGovern sold the children the horse, he bawls the man out for taking advantage of children. Realizing what the gift means to the twins, however, Uncle Bill accepts it and makes arrangements to send "the Rose of Killarney" to live with friends in Connecticut.

    Commentary: A very cute episode. At first, I did think Mr. McGovern was unethical for allowing the kids to "buy" the horse, but he obviously wanted to make sure his friend had a good home. As a cat lover, I enjoyed the basket of kittens at episode's end.

    Guest Cast: Emmet Parnell McGovern: Paul Hartman. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Hartman's film career included Inherit the Wind and The Thrill of it All. He had a regular role as Bert Smedley, the barber, on Petticoat Junction, and as Emmet Clark in the 1967-68 season of The Andy Griffith Show and on its spin-off Mayberry R.F.D. Lukas would return as Scotty in quite a few episodes throughout the series.

    Fun Facts: Scotty, the doorman, makes his first appearance.

    Notable Quotes: "It's just what I wanted, if I knew there was stuff like this." Jody, receiving an ant farm

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    004--The Matter of School

    Aired: 10/3/66. Written by: Henry Garson. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis:It's time to enroll the kids in school. While it's a simple matter to enroll Buffy and Jody in first grade, Uncle Bill is less certain about what's best for Cissy. He rejects immediately French's suggestion of Miss Haycroft's School in London but reluctantly considers sending her to Bryerfield, a boarding school in Connecticut. Cissy really wants to go to Lexie High, a public school in the city, especially after grocery delivery boy Freddy sings the school's praises. But she misinterprets Uncle Bill's mention of Bryerfield and assumes it would ease a burden on him if she lived at school during the week. She chooses Bryerfield, and Uncle Bill promises her a big evening her first weekend home--dinner at 21, a musical and a visit to a nightclub. Business makes him forget his promise, though, reinforcing Cissy's idea that she should be "out of his hair." When she mentions this to Buffy and Jody, they decide to get out of Mr. French's hair and attempt to take a cab to Connecticut. Talking to the kids, Bill uncovers Cissy's misconception, and French reminds him about the plans he forgot with Cissy. Uncle Bill rushes to Connecticut to bring Cissy home, and later he finally escorts a lovely Cissy on that special date.

    Commentary: The bonding between Cissy and Uncle Bill is touching, and the ending is sweet. Buffy and Jody provide comedic counterpoint to main story, especially in the scene where a exasperated Mr. French registers the twins for school. (First grade is taught in morning and afternoon sessions, and French asks if the kids can attend both!) This episode introduces a pervasive Family Affair idea that the children will be interacting with kids from many different backgrounds. Freddy tells Cissy and Uncle Bill that kids from penthouses and kids from basements attend Lexie High (I'm not sure if I'm spelling that right), and Buffy and Jody quickly make friends with a cabdriver's son. The principal also notes that the twins will hear a variety of languages spoken in their class.

    Guest Cast: Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Mrs. Brown: Sarah Selby. Mr. Kabul: Aly Wassil. Freddy: Eugene Martin. Mr. Razini: Naji Gabbay. Mr. Chill: Reginald Lal Singh. Barbara: Liza Garson. Murray: Tony Campo. Sarah Selby had a recurring role for many years as Ma Smalley on Gunsmoke, and she was Aunt Polly in a 1974 TV version of Huckleberry Finn. She would appear in four more Family Affair episodes. Campo, who would return as a different character in season five, was the third Scotty Baldwin on General Hospital; Johnnie Whitaker was the first. Gabbay and Wassil would both reappear in season two's The Beasley Story, and Martin would appear once more as Freddy. Hubbard, who would reappear in several episodes as Uncle Bill's partner, starred in many largely unmemorable films of the 1940s. I strongly suspect Liza Garson is a relative of producer and sometimes writer Henry Garson. Her character struck me as oddly superfluous in her scene even before I noticed the familiar last name.

    Fun Facts: Buffy and Jody attended kindergarten in Terre Haute. In his reluctance to progress to first grade, Jody shows the first sign of being less academically minded than Buffy. The Davis' apartment building is at 600 E. 62nd Street.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy's desire not to be a burden to Uncle Bill stems from her fear that she was "dumped" on him. Terre Haute is mentioned. Miss Faversham is mentioned.

    Notable Quotes: "She's like Cinderella, but tomorrow she'll be our sister again." Buffy, on Cissy

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    005--Marmalade

    Aired: 10/10/66. Written by: Edmund Beloin and Henry Garson. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Uncle Bill's latest love interest, Ellen Latimer, is an advertising firm employee who thinks French would be perfect in a "small" ad for Dunholt Marmalade. French reluctantly agrees and crankily undergoes the photo shoot. When the resulting full-page ad attracts contempt from fellow gentleman's gentleman Withers but adulation from the ladies, French begins to like and even court the attention. He readily agrees to a five-week national promotional tour--until he actually tastes the marmalade.

    Commentary: Sebastian Cabot is very funny as he runs the gamut from disdainful to enthusiastic and back in the world of advertising.

    Guest Cast: Ellen Latimer: Mary Murphy. Mr. Hayden: Woodrow Parfrey. Withers: Richard Peel. Miss Reynolds: Nora Marlowe. Miss Peters: Peggy Rea. Miss Howard: Pauline Drake. Woman: Kathryn Minner. Photographer: Lou Krugman. Mary Murphy's other TV credits from the '60s include Perry Mason, Outer Limits, Honey West and The Fugitive. Woodrow Parfrey appeared in many TV shows and movies. Of note are roles in Planet of the Apes and Back to the Planet of the Apes. He also played Ike Godsey in Homecoming, the original Waltons special that preceded the series.

    Fun Facts: WXOY is having a Velvet Vultures festival. Mr. French reads Punch.

    Continuity Notes: This is the first appearance of the snooty Withers.

    Notable Quote: "We are not a male model, sir." French

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    006--Room With A Viewpoint

    Aired: 10/17/66. Written by: Austin and Erma Kalish. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The arrival of Cissy's pink princess phone provokes a strangely surly reaction in Buffy. Her mood worsens when Uncle Bill's current girlfriend, Nedra Walcott, redecorates the girls' room. Refusing to do homework or sleep in her own room, Buffy won't tell anyone what's bothering her. Things come to a head when a workman arrives with a room divider, and Buffy locks herself in. Finally, she confesses that the changing room is not the problem; it's the way "the room made Cissy change." The epidsode ends with some sisterly bonding.

    Commentary: Buffy's return to deadpan "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" replies keeps the viewer guessing along with everyone else about what the problem is.

    Guest cast: Miss Walcott: Kathleen Crowley. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Telephone Man: Wayne Collier. Kathleen Crowley made a slew of TV appearances in the '50s and '60s on such shows as My Three Sons, Perry Mason, Bonanza and Batman. She appeared in Family Affair again in A Family Group.

    Fun Facts: The Davises live on the 27th floor, in apartment 27A. Another Velvet Vultures reference.

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    007--Mrs. Beasley, Where are You?

    Aired: 10/24/66. Teleplay by: Phil Davis and John McGreevey. Story by: Phil Davis. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: A seeming tragedy occurs when Mr. French accidently knocks Mrs. Beasley off the terrace, and the doll is nowhere to be found below. Meanwhile, a related subplot finds Uncle Bill's weekend plans to "sleep, play golf and do a little mild socializing" thwarted by conflict with a neighbor--a neighbor whose little girl suddenly owns a doll (Effie Boots) the spitting image of Mrs. Beasley. A despondent Buffy, however, testifies that the doll isn't hers. When all seems lost, Uncle Bill and his girlfriend du jour find Buffy's doll in the apartment building's garbage cans.

    Commentary: A classic Mrs. Beasley episode. It would take a cold heart to remain unmoved by Buffy's suffering. And, as a Barbie collector, I salivate over the toy store scene. Those boxed "American girl" Barbies behind Buffy and Mr. French are easily worth more than $1,000 today, while the outfits adorning the Barbies behind the counter include Fashion Luncheon and Pan American Airways Stewardess--worth $600 and (gasp!) $3,000 respectively unopened.

    Guest Cast: George Nelson: Frank Maxwell. Diane: Joan Vohs. Clara: Ann McCrea. Saleslady: Cathleen Cordell. Melissa: Pamelyn Ferdin. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Ragpicker: Andy Albin. Maid: Pauline Drake. Pamelyn Ferdin is a familiar face, and voice, from the 1960s and '70s. Most famously she played Edna on The Odd Couple and voiced Lucy in A Boy Named Charlie Brown and Fern in Charlotte's Web. She also appeared (with Johnnie Whitaker) on Sigmund and the Seamonsters and was in the '70s version of Lassie. On The Brady Bunch, she appeared in the episode where Jan sports a wig. She also played Francie in a 1972 made-for-TV version of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. She would appear in three more episodes of Family Affair. Joan Vohs appeared in a second-season epidsode as Mrs. Scofield, then appeared in six third-season episodes as Miss Cummings. Andy Albin was a regular performer on Bob Newhart's short-lived first series in 1961.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy explains that after the death of her mother and father and separation from her siblings, Buffy had only Mrs. Beasley left as a friend.

    Notable Quotes: "Mrs. Beasley is not a girl--she's a grown up lady."--Buffy. "Girls and ladies are almost alike." Jody "People you love always go away--I know." Buffy

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    008--Who's Afraid of Nural Shpeni?

    Aired: 11/7/66. Written by: Cynthia Lindsay. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: A Middle Eastern theme pervades this episode, which begins with French reading to the twins about Sinbad the Sailor. With Uncle Bill soon to return from a project in Beirut, French decides to brush up on his Lebanese culinary skills. But a trip to Fuad's Middle Eastern Delicacies leads to cooking lessons from Nural Shpeni and then to her family's demands that French marry her. Dr. Sarkis, an associate of Uncle Bill, reminds Nural's brothers that the traditions they are relying upon to force French into marriage also demand a large dowry from them. French is thrilled when Nural finally announces she'd rather marry Officer Chamas, the local cop on the beat.

    Commentary: A so-so, fairly predictable outing. It's always fun to see Mr. French in a state of extreme discomfort, however. And it's always nice to see some ethnicity on the show--while the depiction of Lebanese culture is hardly authentic, the positive presentation of the erudite Dr. Sarkis redeems things.

    Guest Cast: Fuad: Nestor Paiva. Nural: Magda Harout. Alam: Henry Corden. Mohad: Peter Manahos. Policeman Chamas: Vic Tayback. Old woman: Kay Koury. Dr. Sarkis: Abraham Sofaer. Most familiar is Vic Tayback, who played Mel in the 1974 movie Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, as well as the subsequent TV series Alice. Nestor Paiva, who had a long career in movies, died before this episode aired. Magda Harout, on the other hand, continues to act--she appeared as Stella in the 1991 Seinfeld episode The Pen. Henry Corden has voiced many cartoon characters, including Fred Flintstone. He was Marcia's boss, Mr. Haskell, in the ice cream parlor episode of The Brady Bunch.

    Fun Facts: Mr. French speaks Arabic and once worked for the Shah of Morocco. Jody is five minutes older than Buffy.

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    009--A Matter for Experts

    Aired: 11/14/66. Teleplay by: Joseph Hoffman and John McGreevey. Story by: Joseph Hoffman. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The school vice principal, Miss Bryant, tells Uncle Bill that Buffy and Jody are completely dependent on each other and should be placed in separate classrooms. Uncle Bill resists at first, but child psychologist Edith Morse agrees that the twins need to develop individual interests. They are separated at school and shepherded into separate past-times, but they remain united in their imaginative play. Jody does find a friend, Peter, but Buffy's attempts at friendship fail, and she's morose. Finally, the kids concoct a case of the measles to avoid school altogether, and Uncle Bill decides to trust his insticts and reunite them.

    Commentary: At the beginning of this episode, I was indignant at the experts who wanted to split up twins who had recently lost their parents, been forced to live apart and then settled into a new home in a new city. But by the end, Buffy's complete inability to function without Jody did seem worrisome.

    Guest Cast: Miss Bryant: Sarah Selby. Dr. Edith Morse: Jean Engstrom. Barbara: Kym Karath. Peter: Randy Whipple. Mrs. Hughes: Susan Davis. Kym Karath was Gretl in The Sound of Music and Pattie-Cake in Spencer's Mountain. On The Brady Bunch, she appeared as Kerry in Cyrano de Brady. She appeared on one more episode of Family Affair. Randy Whipple appeared in no less than 11 episodes. He played one of Jerry Van Dyke's kids in My Mother the Car.

    Fun Facts: The twins attend PS 724. Uncle Bill smokes. Cissy frequents The Gourmet Hamburger and doesn't "dig" geometry. Buffy begins ballet lessons.

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    010--Beware the Other Woman

    Aired: 11/21/66. Written by: Elroy Schwartz. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The appearance of an old friend--Louise Marshall--in Uncle Bill's life, along with the "wisdom" of a worldly new friend, prompts Cissy to believe that Uncle Bill will soon marry and ship the kids back to Terre Haute. This so traumatizes the kids that they're all soon bawling, but Uncle Bill is able to set things right, of course.

    Commentary: Cissy's friend Sharon is a fairly modern character for a mid-'60s show--she describes herself as "between mothers," with the third one having left recently. Elroy Schwartz is the brother of Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island creator Sherwood Schwartz and a prolific TV writer in his own right. His Brady Bunch writing credits include the one where Marcia and Greg run against each other for student body president and the one where Tiger gets lost.

    Guest Cast: Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Sharon James: Sherry Alberoni. Louise Marshall: Rita Gam. Sherry Alberoni was a Mousketeer in 1956-57. She also voiced Wendy in Superfriends.

    Fun Facts: Cissy is good at chemistry. Sharon lives in apartment 12B.

    Continuity Notes: This episode is filled with poignant references to abandonment and separation in Terre Haute.

    Notable Quote: "It just happens that I love you so much I'm not ever gonna let you down, you got that through your head?" Uncle Bill

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    011--Take Two Aspirin

    Aired: 11/28/66. Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The prospect of spending three months in New York makes Uncle Bill restless, so he jumps at the chance to work with a friend on a project in Mexico. His friend, Dave McCovey, admires Bill's attitude toward family -- "You love 'em but you don't get tied down." Storms and bad phone lines lead Uncle Bill to fear the worst when Mr. French comes down with the flu at home, however, and he cuts his trip short.

    Commentary: Perhaps this episode was damaged by poor editing when it was cut for syndication, but it doesn't really hang together. Mr. French is at his irritable best sick in bed, though, and the twins' attempts to cook for him are funny.

    Guest Cast: Dave McCovey: Norman Alden. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Norman Alden appeared on many TV shows, but he's most familiar to me from Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.

    Fun Facts: Jody's turtle Alexander dies.

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    012--Love Me, Love Me Not

    Aired: 12/5/66. Written by: Peggy Chantler Dick. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Jody witnesses his friend Pepino being spanked and receives the explanation from Pepino's father that he punishes his son out of love. Uncle Bill's patience begins to seem like indifference, and Jody tries to provoke a spanking. His attempts include giving Uncle Bill's favorite sweater to Scotty the doorman and messing up the chess game Mr. French is playing by mail. But what finally sets Uncle Bill off is his worry when Jody runs away at night (though Jody never actually leaves the building). He delivers a stern--though not physical--punishment but promptly begins to doubt himself and relent. Finally, he realizes where Jody's coming from and gives the boy a punishment and a gentle spank.

    Commentary: This episode reveals what makes Brian Keith's Uncle Bill such an ideal father figure--affectionate, playful, understanding. In these early episodes, Uncle Bill is warm and demonstrative with Jody in a way that seems unusual and refreshing for a father and son. Johnnie Whitaker is also adorable in this episode, especially in the scene at the end when he's waiting for his spanking with closed eyes and gritted teeth. Uncle Bill's self-doubt with regard to parenting is realistic and continues the theme of adjustment which has been building all season.

    Guest Cast: Pepino: Ricky Cordell. Umberto: Romo Vincent. Scotty: Karl Lukas.

    Fun Facts: Captain Hippopotamus is mentioned twice. Uncle Bill's partner, Ted Gaynor, is mentioned, though not seen. Sebastian Cabot is wearing a bandage on his hand in this episode.

    Notable Quote: "When he socks me, half of it will be yours." Jody to Buffy

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    013--The Thursday Man

    Aired: 12/12/66. Written by: Edmund Hartmann (the show's executive producer). Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Cissy's first attempt at a composition about Mr. French leads her to the conclusion that people are truly unknowable (rather a pessimistic thought for a TV teen, actually). Her teacher challenges her to find out more about Mr. French, and Cissy begins a great deal of snooping that culminates with her actually pretending to check his credit references with an old lady he secretly visits every Thursday. When Cissy confesses her true identity, Mrs. Allenby tells her the sad truth: Mr. French was once in love with a girl who died in the London blitz. And "Old Bertie," a name that provokes a strong reaction in French? It's a stuffed dog he won for his girl and the only trace of her he found after the blitz. Cissy vows to keep the secret and refrain from violating the privacy of others.

    Commentary: It's painful to watch Cissy nosing around in the life of someone who so clearly values privacy (and what kind of teacher would turn a student into a junior Kitty Kelly?). Sebastian Cabot does a wonderful job at portraying hurt and indignation when Cissy confronts him with the name "Old Bertie." Cissy really goes over the line by pumping Mrs. Allenby for information, but watching her realize that she really would rather not have known the sad truth is gratifying. It's wonderful to get some back-story on Mr. French, and the scene between him and Old Bertie and Buffy and Mrs. Beasley is sweet.

    Guest Cast: Mrs. Allenby: Kathryn Givney. Freddy: Eugene Martin. Withers: Richard Peel. Mrs. Mariani: Lillian Adams. Miss Elliot: Ila Britton. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Lillian Adams is still acting--she appeared in Foreign Correspondents this year and in 1995's Unstrung Heroes, as well as Private Benjamin and The Jerk.

    Fun Facts: Mr. French was born in the West End of London. His father and grandfather were both butlers. He has worked for Uncle Bill for nine years--they met when Uncle Bill was working on a project in London. Mr. French's first name is Giles, and his day off is Thursday. Withers thinks Mr. French is "opinionated, stubborn, aloof, difficult, not to mention stiff-necked."

    Notable Quotes: "It kind of scares me...I mean, trying to get personal with Mr. French." Cissy

    "Maybe men aren't as inquisitive as women." Cissy "Maybe we respect each other's privacy, too." Uncle Bill

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    014--Think Deep

    Aired: 12/26/66. Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Cissy shakes up the household by instituting the theories of one Julian--eventually revealed to be her teacher, Julian Hill. Based upon his teachings, she cramps Buffy and Jody's fantasy life and tries to get French to rebel against "a condition of servitude bordering on serfdom." To bring Cissy's hero down to size, Uncle Bill invites the man--who is meticulous bordering on prissy--to dinner. Cissy's excitement fades when spilled coffee leads Julian to blow up at Buffy and Jody--he calls them little monsters. With Uncle Bill's help, Cissy realizes that Julian is a good teacher but a human being. The episode ends with her telling fanciful stories to Buffy and Jody.

    Commentary: Robert Reed made some interesting choices in his guest roles. His Julian Hill is affected and compulsive. (Another of Robert Reed's guest appearances, on a two-part Medical Center, was a truly eerie performance as a man having a sex-change operation.) His performance here reveals a man with realistic foibles. It's nice to see my second-favorite TV father figure sharing screen time with my favorite, Brian Keith. And, by the way, I love Cissy's purple dress in the dinner scene, and Buffy and Jody look adorable, too.

    Guest cast: Julian Hill: Robert Reed. Gail: Diane Mountford. Robert Reed, who died in 1992, was best-known for his role as Mike Brady on The Brady Bunch. His other non-Brady TV series included The Defenders and Mannix. He also had roles in Roots and Rich Man, Poor Man. Mountford appeared in several other Family Affair episodes, including one more as Gail.

    Notable Quotes: "This is going to be the greatest emotional experience of my life." Cissy

    "With your permission, sir, I should like to see how the flying fish achieves his license." French

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    015--Hard Hat Jody

    Aired: 1/2/67. Written by: Ted Sherdeman and Jane Klove.

    Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Uncle Bill is worried because Jody seems to be living in a fantasy world--he thinks he's an Indian. Worse, Uncle Bill may soon have to leave the kids again for a long trip to Japan--unless he can land the Pennington project. Switching the Indian headdress for a hard hat does Jody no good--he believes he's a construction worker and even refuses to take his hat off at school because he's "tearing down the building." Playing on his own after school, Jody wanders on to a construction project and befriends "Owny"--actually Mr. Pennington, an elusive eccentric that Uncle Bill has been trying desperately to contact. He puts Jody to "work" on the construction site, but no one at home will believe Jody has a job. Eventually, Jody brings his friend home, and Pennington gives Davis and Gaynor his job so Uncle Bill can spend more time with Jody.

    Commentary: A cute Jody episode with lots of warm Uncle Bill smiles, although again I found myself concerned about the twins' state of mental health. Jody really did seem out of touch with reality for a while, but at least showing such problems adds to the realism of a show about recent orphans.

    Guest cast: Owen Pennington: Brian Donlevy. Foreman: William Boyett. Misawa: Dale Ishimoto. Brian Donlevy had a long film career. Just a few highlights include Beau Geste (he received a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination), The Glass Key, The Great McGinty and The Miracle of Morgan's Creek. Boyett appeared in several other episodes of Family Affair. Ishimoto last appeared in 1997's Beverly Hills Ninja.

    Continuity notes: Uncle Bills cites the shock of the kids' losing their parents as the source of Jody's problem.

    Fun facts: Ted Gaynor has no kids.

    Burning question: Should a six-year-old really wander around Manhattan, even in 1967?

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    016--That Was the Dinner That Wasn't

    Directed by: William D. Russell Aired: 1/9/67

    Synopsis: Cissy is understandably pained when a mother-daughter event at school is planned. She hides the reason for her sadness from Uncle Bill, however, though he knows something is bothering her and wants to help. Eventually, he learns the truth from Gail, and makes arrangements to spend some quality time with Cissy on the evening of the banquet without letting her know that he knows about it.

    Commentary: This is another nice Cissy-Uncle Bill episode, but something about Kathy Garver's portrayal during the airport restaurant scene seems off to me. Cissy seems more like a girl with a crush than an affectionate niece. I know she's supposed to have a certain amount of hero worship for Uncle Bill, but this is one of several places over the course of the series where that hero worship is played just a bit too strongly for me.

    Guest Cast: Patty: Elizabeth Bader. Maria Cantelli: Jacqueline Bertrand. Miss Lee: Betty Lynn. Gail: Diane Mountford.

    Fun Facts: Cissy is a good artist. This is Mountford's second of five appearances and Lynn's second of four as Uncle Bill's secretary.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy's sorrow about the loss of her parents is alluded to strongly in this episode.

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    017--All Around The Town

    Aired: 1/16/67. Written by: Douglas Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The whole family, including Mr. French, joins Uncle Bill in seeing off the Gaynors before they sail. Buffy and Jody get the mistaken notion that they are going out to dinner with Uncle Bill and some clients and convey that mistake to a relieved French and Cissy--he wants to meet Miss Faversham for a poetry reading and she wants to see the Velvet Vultures. When Buffy and Jody realize that Uncle Bill has left the ship, they manage to disembark in time but are stranded alone on the dock. Luckily, Mrs. Gaynor sees the kids when the ship is pulling away from the dock, and she eventually is able to contact Uncle Bill, who tracks down French and Cissy and frantically calls the police to search for the kids. Meanwhile, Buffy and Jody have found a $20 bill on the dock, and--thinking of a story in which Abraham Lincoln walked three miles to give back a nickel--wander around Manhattan trying to find home and the owner of the money. Darkness falls, and the kids get scared, until at last a kindly stranger helps them find their apartment. Uncle Bill rewards the man with the $20 and a promise of work.

    Commentary: This is a favorite episode of mine--it's really frightening to watch Buffy and Jody walking around the city alone, waving $20 and approaching strangers. The climactic shot of this part of the show is one from behind that shows Buffy and Jody holding hands in a dark alley. It's also touching to watch Jody comforting a scared Buffy. And Buffy's outfit, complete with little purse and gloves, is particularly adorable in this episode.

    Guest cast: Jose: Harry Davis. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Mrs. Florence Gaynor: Andrea King. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Policeman: Vic Tayback. Frenchman: George Dega. Frenchwoman: Danielle Aubry. Chestnut Man: Jack Tesler. Mr. Carvallo: Rodolfo Hoyos. Mr. Gonzales: Gerardo de Cordovia. Mr. Goya: Saverio Lo Medico. Chinese Chef: Tommy Lee. Delivery Man: Harold Fong. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Whew! That's a lot of guest stars.

    Continuity Notes: It's a nice touch that Vic Tayback's policeman from Episode 8 returns.

    Fun Facts: A Velvet Vultures mention, of course.

    Notable Quotes: "Uncle Bill said everybody...we're everybody, just smaller." Buffy, to Jody

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    018--One For the Little Boy

    Aired: 1/23/67 Written by: Austin and Irma Kalish. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Note: The episode begins with the departure of Mr. French and the arrival of...Mr. French. Giles French is called away by Her Majesty to serve the royal family during a tour of Commonwealth capitals. (In real life, Sebatian Cabot was ill.) His brother Nigel French arrives to take his place in the meantime. Spending most of his time with Cissy and Buffy leaves Jody sorely in need of some male bonding. Uncle Bill tries to oblige, first by taking Jody to a baseball game and then by taking him on a business trip, which is to be followed by some fishing. Everything on the trip goes wrong, however--the work drags on, the camper breaks down and then they learn the lake where they're headed has dried up. Jody keeps saying he doesn't mind, but Uncle Bill thinks he's just too polite to confess his disappointment. Finally, Jody explains that just spending time with Uncle Bill made the trip enjoyable for him. Awww.

    Commentary: An Uncle Bill-and-Jody episode always warms the heart. You can see a tear in Uncle Bill's eye at the end of the episode as he hugs and kisses Jody. Like I said--awww! Although Jody-centered, this episode has some cute Buffy moments, including a sight gag where she struggles to button the back of her dress until finally giving up and putting the dress on backwards. She also exhibits realistic annoyance at Jody's temporary monopoly on Uncle Bill.

    Guest Cast: Mr. Nigel French: John Williams. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Proprietress: Katey Barrett. Doorman: David Brandon. While on the show, John Williams is credited in place of Sebastian Cabot as a star of the show, so I won't mention him in the guest cast listings again. Brandon would appear in several more Family Affair episodes.

    Continuity Notes: The family has just been on a vacation that included time in Terre Haute. Scotty is mentioned, though not seen. The presence of another doorman is explained realistically--he's the nighttime guy.

    Notable Quotes: "Basically, I'm a cricket man."--Nigel French. "That's okay, I like caterpillars." Jody "Sisters are always doing sister stuff." Jody

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    019--Fancy Free

    Aired: 1/30/67. Written by: Douglas Tibbles and John McGreevey. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Buffy and Jody come home elated at being promoted to "upper first grade" but are disappointed that Uncle Bill is not there to share their joy--he's working on a project in New Jersey, where he has met a free-thinking, marriage-hating young woman to date. The twins are soon stumped by "the new math," and with Uncle Bill unavailable, they receive dubious help from a friendly but uneducated window washer, Mr. Frack. When the school alerts Uncle Bill to the problem, he figures out the situation but spares the feelings of Mr. Frack, who enjoys having the twins look up to him. To Meg's dismay, Bill gives up weekend plans with her to help the twins with their schoolwork.

    Commentary: I'll start with a few small things before launching into a more complicated thought that this episode triggered in me. Buffy and Jody's conversation about Dick and Jane, quoted below, is priceless. Mr. Frack and Meg are both interesting characters and, in an exaggerated way, believeable. Watch for a scene toward the end of the show when Uncle Bill greets the kids at the door. Johnnie Whitaker steps in front of Anissa Jones when she's saying her line, and Brian Keith pushes him back, then covers with an affectionate touch on Johnnie's cheek. My lengthier commentary involves what, for me, sets this show apart--a basic imperfection in the family structure that keeps the show from being unbearably sweet. The mere fact that the kids are orphans isn't enough to give the show its underlying pathos. Many TV kids are missing at least one parent and often, as in the case of The Brady Bunch, this loss has seemingly no effect whatsoever on the children. What's unique is that the kids' subsequent lives in Uncle Bill's household, while loving and satisfying, are not utopian. Much is made in this episode of Buffy and Jody's longing for the absent Uncle Bill. Taking on the responsibility of three kids did not cause Bill Davis to change his career or personal lifestyle. He is away from them in this episode not just to work but to spend evenings with Meg. Further, until he learns of the problem at school, he is perfectly willing to spend the weekend between his New Jersey work and another foreign trip with Meg. This is not to say that Bill accepts Meg's "fancy free" ideas--far from it. He is truly devoted to the kids, but he is NOT the usual ideal TV father. Somehow, that very imperfection renders the whole family more sympathetic in this age of fractured families and single parents.

    Guest Cast: Mr. Frack: Sterling Holloway. Meg: Kipp Hamilton. Tim: Roy Roberts. Sally: Andrea Sacino. If Holloway sounds familiar, it's no wonder--he was the voice of Winnie the Pooh in many movies, including some that Sebastian Cabot narrated. He was also the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland, Roquefort in The Aristocrats, Kaa in The Jungle Book, Mr. Stork in Dumbo and Woodsy the Owl in many public service announcements. He also had an extremely long career in films that spanned half a century and included such films as Meet John Doe and The Blue Bird. Notable was his role in 1945's A Walk in the Sun. He had a recurring role in The Adventures of Superman. Hamilton played another trouble-maker, Pleasure O'Reilly, in an episode of Bewitched. This Family Affair is her last credit in the IMDb. Roberts also had a Bewitched connection--he played Darrin's father. He had recurring roles in Petticoat Junction, Gunsmoke, The Lucy Show and The Beverly Hillbillies, among other shows. Sacino was a voice in 1970's special Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

    Notable Quotes: "We got promoted from Dick and Jane, and I'm glad--all they ever did was run and play." Buffy "And watch Spot. (mildly mocking) 'Oh, see Spot.'" Jody "'Oh, see Spot run.'" Buffy "'Run, Spot, run.'" Jody

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    020--A Helping Hand

    Aired: 2/6/67. Written by: John McGreevey. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Nigel French hires a maid to help with a dinner party and finds her inept, though he is sympathetic to her plight and covers up her mistakes--so effectively that a party guest who lives in building hires her. French is subsequently called upon to help her out of many disasters, which takes its toll on the Davis family. Eventually, her ineptitude is revealed, she loses her job and tells off French, who is chagrined to have been ensnared in the whole mess. Meanwhile, Uncle Bill overzealously helps the kids build a model dam for school and eventually takes over the entire project. Their teacher reproves him, and he and French decide the family motto should be "Don't get involved." Cissy's touching speech about involvement, and the lack of personal involvement the kids faced in Terre Haute, changes their minds. Uncle Bill even decides to stay home for the evening!

    Commentary: The first time I watched this episode I had that not-uncommon Family Affair feeling of thinking the guest star looked familiar. Usually that's because the actor made a lot of '60s guest appearances and had bit parts in dozens of movies. When the credits rolled, you could have knocked me over with a feather--that was Myrna Loy! Her performance here is pretty flat and both the character and episode a poor use of her talents. The main story is pretty pointless--at least in a similar episode of Bewitched you get the fun of seeing a maid's inept attemps; here they're all off-camera.

    Guest Cast: Adele: Myrna Loy. Sheila: June Vincent. Ken: Carleton Young. What to say about the beautiful Myrna Loy? She started in movies in 1925 and played exotic sirens during the silent era. In the 1930s she began playing the sophisticated comedy roles that made her famous. She is best known as Nora Charles in the Thin Man series of films. In the 1940s she starred in the charming comedies The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer and Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House and in the excellent World War II aftermath drama The Best Years of Our Lives. She continued working through the 1980s, mostly in TV movies, but Family Affair was one of few TV series appearances she ever made. Loy died in 1993.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy makes a poignant speech about the lack of caring the kids experienced in Terre Haute. Jody also mentions Terre Haute.

    Fun Facts: Uncle Bill's favorite dish is curried chicken.

    Burning Question: Can some explain this joke to me? I may be dense, but I don't get it. Everyone's talking about curried chicken. Jody: "Back in Terre Haute, we curried a horse once." Buffy: "I think that's different."

    Notable Quotes: "I've learned my lesson--never listen to a man." Adele

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    021--Once In Love with Buffy

    Aired: 2/13/67. Written by: Austin and Irma Kalish. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Aunt Fran makes a sudden reappearance, claiming that her husband's feelings have changed, and they both want Buffy back. They'll even take Cissy, and another relative in Terre Haute will take in Jody. Uncle Bill wants the kids to stay with him, but Fran starts him doubting whether that's what's best for them. He leaves it up to them. Unfortunately, Buffy previously heard Uncle Bill complain to two friends about being "stuck with the kids," so she thinks Uncle Bill might be better off without them. Fran plays upon this doubt during a lunch with Cissy and Buffy and leads them to believe that Uncle Bill wants them to return to Terre Haute. The kids reluctantly agree, and Uncle Bill tries to conceal his heartbreak at their decision. Buffy and Jody share a very sad farewell as the girls are about to leave. Finally, Buffy breaks down before Uncle Bill and admits she wants to stay. Happy tears and hugs all around (except for Aunt Fran, of course.)

    Commentary: This episode has everything--funny punchlines (Buffy gets most of them--she seems especially precocious in this episode), heartrending moments and a joyful ending. Ooooh, do I hate Aunt Fran and, even worse, Uncle Harold! What's with these people? Harold was incapable of getting along with a six-year-old girl, but now everything's changed? Aunt Fran keeps saying how excited Harold is to see the kids, but he chooses not to come in and visit with them. My theory is that he just wanted the two tax deductions. And Aunt Fran's manipulative tactics during the lunch with Cissy and Buffy were downright evil. She even calls Buffy a crybaby when she starts to break down! The ending is wonderful, and so is Buffy and Jody's sweet goodbye scene. (He gives her a dead goldfish as a gift!) I also love Buffy's remark that Mrs. Beasley "stays with me, because she loves me." It's a shame that the adults in her life haven't been so steadfast. I do have to fault Uncle Bill for one thing--it was insensitive to refer to being "stuck with" the kids, and the second time he said it, he knew Buffy was nearby.

    Guest Cast: Fran Higer: Louise Latham. Harold Higer: Bill Zuckert. Latham reprises her role from the pilot. Zuckert's last part before his death in 1997 was a small one in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

    Continuity Notes: The whole episode, obviously, echoes the events of the pilot.

    Fun Facts: Jody mentions a turtle--he must have replaced the one that died.

    Notable Quotes: "It's just like TV, only you don't have to go out tomorrow and buy something" Buffy "Even when you've got nothing to do, there's lots to do." Buffy, on New York "We learned it's okay not to wear clothes" Jody "Only if you live in a museum." Buffy "Jody, it was real nice living here with you for awhile." Buffy "When we grow up, we'll find some way to be together, so no one can keep moving us around." Jody

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    022--Ballerina, Buffy

    Aired: 2/20/67 Written by: Edmund Beloin & Henry Garson. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Buffy is picked for the lead role in her ballet school's production of Little Red Riding Hood. The choice annoys Mrs. Nelson, whose daughter Melissa gets the part of the wolf. She's even more chagrined when she realizes the visiting dancer who cast the parts is an old flame of Uncle Bill's (though the dancer, Margo, didn't realize Buffy was Bill's niece until after the parts were cast). Later, Margo tells Buffy that she could someday soon be a famous dancer herself and travel the world. Buffy thinks this means right away, and she fears having to leave Uncle Bill and the family. She purposely gives a dreadful performance as Little Red Riding Hood to avoid becoming a star.

    Commentary: Separation anxiety rears its ugly head again in this episode, which is believable considering the kids' recent history. Buffy's bad performance is cute.

    Guest Cast: Margo: Judith Landon. Mr. Nelson: Frank Maxwell. Clara: Ann McCrea. Madam Leonton: Lili Valenty. Melissa Nelson: Cindy Eilbacher. Seegar: John Lawrence. Judith Landon was Brian Keith's wife at the time this episode aired. Cindy Eilbacher was a fairly prolific child and young adult actress. She was the daughter in My Mother the Car (Randy Whipple, who played her brother in that series, is a Family Affair standby) and appeared in many TV movies. She played April, Paul Williams' first wife, on The Young and the Restless in the early 1980s and again in the early 1990s. Her sister, Lisa Eilbacher, is also an actress.

    Inconsistency Alert: French says he enrolled Buffy in ballet as part of an "anti-clomping about the house campaign." But Buffy began ballet in Episode 9, before Nigel French's arrival.

    Notable Quotes: "Can you name me one other uncle who's got a Little Red Riding Hood who always falls down?" Uncle Bill

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    023--The Mother Tongue

    Aired: 2/27/67. Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: The twins begin to rave about a new friend who inspires them to adopt higher standards of politeless and neatness. The friend, Marilyn, turns out to be the daughter of a Chinese diplomat, and she speaks no English. The kids have no trouble communicating, however. Mr. French tries to brush up on his Cantonese to converse with the young girl and ends up insulting her (instead of comparing her to an angel, he tells her she has "the ears of a pig and the face of a horrifying demon"). After Uncle Bill explains the situation to Marilyn's father, the girl returns to the Davis apartment, only to have Mr. French call her a serpent. The child's mother and grandmother are appalled, until they meet French and realize how unwitting his insults are. (He tells them they are "two beautiful flowers in a bowl of rubbish.") Marilyn observes the scene and also realizes that French meant no harm. By the end of the episode, Buffy and Jody have picked up some Cantonese, and Marilyn is learning English (such as "color television").

    Commentary: A nice aspect of Family Affair is the way Buffy and Jody--as befitting their urbanity--interact with people of all backgrounds with regard to ethnicity, race, class, educational level, etc. This episode has a positive message about children's ability to communicate versus adults' confusion in the face of difference. And the translations of French's compliments are funny.

    Guest Cast: Mr. Chen: Richard Loo. Marilyn: Lisa Fong. Mrs. Chen: Noel Toy. Grandmother: May Lee. Richard Loo had an active film career within the limits imposed on Asian American actors of the time. He played Japanese characters in many World War II-era movies including Wake Island (Brian Donlevy from Episode 15 starred), Flying Tigers and God is My Co-Pilot (with Andrea King from Episode 17). Later films included Love is a Many Splendored Thing, Around the World in 80 Days (the large cast also included Katy Koury from Episode 8) and The Man with the Golden Gun (as Hai Fat). He was Master Sun on TV's Kung Fu and made guest appearances on many shows. Noel Toy doesn't have a lot of credits, but she does have a recent one: 1997's Midnight Temptations 2.

    Fun Facts: The twins' bedtime is 8 o'clock.

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    024--Everybody Needs Somebody

    Aired: 3/13/67. Written by: Ed James and Seaman Jacobs. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: As the episode opens, the twins are acting up. French punishes them by prohibiting TV, including Captain Hippopotamus, for two nights. Meanwhile, Withers is getting married, and French is standing up for him. While shopping with the twins for Withers' gift (a sterling pickle fork!), French explains to them the happy nature of marriage. (French's real feelings on the subject seem to be less positive, however--he tells Uncle Bill that he fears Withers is giving up his career for "what may be a matrimonial disaster.") To ensure French's happiness, Buffy and Jody quickly turn into matchmakers and begin raving about Miss Faversham. French misinterprets their behavior to mean that they want to have him replaced because he punished them too harshly. Revealing their lack of experience in parental consistency, French and Uncle Bill revoke the punishment and begin indulging the kids in cookies before dinner and TV before homework. They are stymied when the twins continue to praise Miss Faversham and even declare French's room suitable for her. Eventually, Uncle Bill gets them to reveal their real plans, and the three have a cute talk about marriage and happiness.

    Commentary: The concluding talk, which reveals the twins' contrasting views on marriage and asserts that each person must find happiness in his or her own way, is a highlight of this episode. French's insecurity is dealing with the kids' discipline is sweet and believeable.

    Guest Cast: Withers: Richard Peel. Peter: Kevin Cooper. Clerk: Pitt Herbert. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Herbert was a frequent TV guest star who played a toy store owner in two Brady Bunch episodes. He also had small parts in such films as Hud, Dear Brigitte (John Williams also appeared) and The North Avenue Irregulars. He had a recurring role on Perry Mason as an autopsy surgeon.

    Burning Question: What would Giles French think of the kids' attempt to fix Miss Faversham up with his brother?

    Notable Quotes: "How are we gonna get them married, Buffy? We can't even get them to play checkers." Jody

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    025--The Way It Was

    Aired: 3/20/67. Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Uncle Bill is forced to work at home one weekend, and the kids' noise drives him crazy. So much so that when an old friend who now runs a camp calls to recruit the kids for a one-week spring break camp, Uncle Bill needs no convincing. He packs off Cissy as a counselor and the kids as campers and quickly resumes his swinging bachelor life. He chases women off, however, with his incessant talk about the kids. Furthermore, he and French began to miss the kids terribly, to the point that Bill wanders into the girls' room at night and talks to Mrs. Beasley. The fact that the kids don't write heightens Uncle Bill's anxiety. The doll gives him a pretense for visiting camp: to give Buffy the doll she's so attached to. But the kids arrive home a few days early anyway. When asked why they didn't write, the kids point out that they got no letters from home, and French and Uncle Bill must ruefully admit that they were so busy worrying that they themselves forgot to write.

    Commentary: Uncle Bill's early glee at sending the kids away is pretty funny in its uncharacteristicness. So is the kids' bad behavior in the first part of the episode--Buffy and Jody fight, and he chases her around with a ping-pong racket! We also get an interesting peek into Uncle Bill's pre-kids social life. Apparently, Giles French aided him in many seductions by preparing midnight suppers and playing music that each woman thought of as "our song." I think it's a healthy sign that Buffy left Mrs. Beasley at home (Buffy's explanation: Mrs. Beasley hates tents).

    Guest Cast: Olivia: Julie Parrish. Marie: Lynn Borden. Laurie: Anabel Garth. Norman Brailey: L.E. Young. Julie Parrish has an official web site--http://axxis.com/~cinema/julie.html. She plays Joan on Beverly Hills, 90210. Her older work includes appearing in the classic two-part Star Trek episode The Menagerie and the films The Nutty Professor (1963) and Paradise, Hawaiian Style. She played Betty in the 1970s soap opera Return to Peyton Place and Maggie Brady on the 1980s soap Capitol. Borden was in the cast of the 1978 miniseries Centennial, in which Brian Keith also appeared. She played Barbara Baxter in the final season of Hazel.

    Burning Question: Is poor Buffy staying in a tent all by herself?

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    026--All Nephews Are Created Equal

    Aired: 3/27/67. Written by: Edmund Beloin and Henry Garson.

    Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: French's worlds collide when his teenage nephew David--son of brother Algernon--comes to visit. David stuns French by declaring plans to become a dentist rather than gentleman's gentleman and then shatters French's rigid concepts of class structures by socializing with Cissy. Fellow butlers Withers and Middlebrook express extreme disapproval of David's conduct. Pushed to the limit, French asks David to retract an invitation for Cissy to help see him off at the airport, but when French sees Cissy's disappointment, he relents.

    Commentary: David's fairly dorky--it's hard to see what Cissy sees in him. It's always fun to see a blow struck for American-style egalitarianism, though. Mr. French must have been right about Withers marriage--he was supposed to be leaving his butler job and moving to Connecticut, and two episodes later, he's back.

    Guest Cast: David: Martin Horsey. Withers: Richard Peel. Middlebrook: Maurice Dallimore. Sharon: Sherry Alberoni. Maurice Dallimore played a butler, ironically named Faversham, in an episode of Petticoat Junction.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy mentions the Velvet Vultures and Terre Haute.

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    027--The Prize

    Aired: 4/10/67. Written by: Henry Garson and Edmund Beloin.

    Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Sebastian Cabot returns as Giles French in this episode.

    Synopsis: The twins enter a Crispy Flakes contest to win a houseboat. Instead, they win a baby lamb. The lamb's first night on the terrace draws a "baaaaahd" (sorry) response from neighbors, and Uncle Bill decides to donate it to the children's zoo. Revealing that his parenting skills have improved, he convinces the twins that the donation is their idea.

    Commentary: The lamb is adorable, and so is the tender way Buffy and Jody care for it. It's fun to see Sebastion Cabot again--his French is absolutely disgusted at becoming a "lamb nanny."

    Guest Cast: George: William Kendis. Mrs. Mayfield: Jenifer Lea. Mr. Fisk: Olan Soule. Mr. Smith: Paul Kent. Messenger Boy: Robert Broyles. Secretary: Annette Cabot. Kent had a recurring role as Carter on TJ Hooker and appeared in many TV movies, including Helter Skelter. He also had a part in Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn. Olan Soule voiced Batman in Superfriends, in which recurring Family Affair guest star Sherry Alberoni voiced Wendy. He had a recurring role as Mr. Pfeiffer in early seasons of My Three Sons and appeared in such movies as The Day the Earth Stood Still. Annette Cabot is the daughter of Sebastian Cabot.

    Continuity Notes: Cissy refers to the Velvet Vultures, "the epitome of folk jazz."

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    028--What Did You Do In The West, Uncle?

    Aired: 4/25/67. Written by: Joseph Hoffman. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Uncle Bill has foregone a business trip to San Francisco to spend an entire week with the kids. Cissy bows out, however, to visit a friend on Long Island. Uncle Bill begins a full slate of activities for Buffy and Jody with a trip to the rodeo, where he recognizes an old friend, buckin' bronc rider Gabe Nelson. The kids are thrilled to meet a "real, live cowboy," and Uncle Bill invites his friend to stay at the Davis apartment. Gabe soon begins to monopolize the time of the kids, who are understandably fascinated with rodeo life. One by one, the activities Uncle Bill planned fall by the wayside. Finally, French explains the problem to Gabe, who tries to help by telling the kids an exaggerated story to make Bill seem heroic in their eyes. They spill the secret to Uncle Bill, who catches on quickly to Gabe's plan. The twins are amazed that Uncle Bill felt that Gabe was replacing him in their affections. "We like Uncle Gabe. We love you," Buffy explains.

    Commentary: A nice episode, but not a personal favorite. I guess I just don't enjoy Western-themed material much. Actually, my reaction to Gabe is much like French's. Buffy and Jody do look sweet in their Western outfits, though.

    Guest Cast: Gabe Nelson: John Agar. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. John Agar jumped into the spotlight when he married America's sweetheart Shirley Temple in 1945. His first film was Fort Apache (1948), which starred John Wayne, Henry Fonda and Temple. His marriage to Temple was short-lived, but he went on to appear in many movies, particularly Western and sci-fi films.

    Fun Facts: When he was young and broke, before he started college, Uncle Bill worked in Montana. He has ridden a buckin' bronc.

    Continuity Notes: Uncle Bill mentions his brother.

    Burning Question: Why doesn't Uncle Bill include French in the helicopter ride over Manhattan, which he would probably enjoy more than a showing of Hansel and Gretel? Notable Quotes: "The twins will enjoy Hansel and Gretel. There's a great deal of violence in it." French "Well, I can fight a girl bear." Buffy, responding to Jody's assertion that she can't fight a bear because she's a girl

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    029--The Award

    Aired: 5/2/67. Directed by: William D. Russell.

    Synopsis: Buffy and Jody decide to make Uncle Bill an award for being the world's greatest uncle. Unfortunately, the modeling clay they use to make the earth-shaped award provokes an allergic reaction in both of them. Since the project is a secret, Uncle Bill is perplexed at their symptoms and, at first, believes it to be an emotional reaction to a less indulgent parenting style that he and French have been trying. When the family doctor suggests an allergic reaction to modeling clay, Bill asks the twins if they've been playing with it. They say no, but there is clay on their hands. He accuses them of lying about using the clay, but they present him with the trophy. They were working with the clay, not playing with it, they explain innocently. Uncle Bill gets misty upon seeing the award.

    Commentary: I always enjoy shows in which parents punish kids for something that turns out to be selfless behavior--this is just like the Father of the Year episode of The Brady Bunch. I guess it's my inner child that still likes to see authority figures have to eat their words.

    Guest Cast: Dr. Felsom: Oliver McGowan. Here's a coincidence: McGowan was in the Father of the Year episode of The Brady Bunch. He'll return as a doctor on Family Affair.

    Continuity Notes: Once again, the kids' emotional state is in question. There is a Captain Hippopotamus reference.

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    030--The Butler Method

    Synopsis: Two threads run through this episode. First, a well known actor friend of Uncle Bill's is observing French to prepare for a theatrical role. Second, Cissy is indecisive about her choice for a Sadie Hawkins-type dance. She misses out on the desirable boys and has to ask last resort Virgil, who declines due to a broken leg. Because Uncle Bill used a broken leg as an excuse to avoid certain girls in school, Cissy believes Virgil is lying. She is miserable, an emotion helped along by her annoying friend Wanda. Slowly, a seemingly perfect answer dawns on Uncle Bill--he asks his celebrity friend to escort her. Cissy surprises everyone by turning the actor down--he's too old. At the last minute Virgil appears with a very real broken leg and a doctor's permission to attend the dance anyway. Which makes Cissy very happy considering she didn't want to ask Virgil in the first place.

    Commentary: This episode seems to head in a very predictable direction, but the surprise ending saves it. It's always nice to see Cissy prettied up for a big date. This is a rare episode in that it hardly features Buffy and Jody at all. Their little gag with the books is cute, though, as is French's description of their difficulty sharing a room.

    Guest Cast: Orson: Christopher Dark. Virgil: Patrick Moore. Wanda: Lynette Winter. Christopher Dark's TV appearances include many westerns and two episodes of The Rogues, in which John Williams--the other Mr. French--had a regular role. Winter is familiar from her role as best friend LaRue in the series Gidget and as Henrietta Plout on Petticoat Junction.

    Fun Facts: Uncle Bill was pursued by girls even as a teenager. He once had to take his aunt to a track meet, however. Go figure.

    Burning Question: Isn't a fake broken leg a particularly lame excuse? It would be fairly obvious at school that it wasn't true.

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