Aired: 9/11/67. Written by: Phil Davis. Directed by: Charles Barton.
Synopsis: A new baby in the park raises inevitable questions for Buffy and Jody about where babies come from. Mr. French is horrified--he recommends avoiding the subject until the twins are leaving for college. He and Uncle Bill decide to go along with a playmate's theory that the stork brings babies--an explanation that an exasperated Cissy attributes to "plain cowardice." It doesn't matter, though--Buffy figures out the logical flaws in that story right away. French asks Miss Faversham for advice, and she recommends the cabbage patch story as being "not nearly as vulnerable to logic." The kids seem to accept that story and even share it with a friend, whose scientifically-inclined mother is horrified to have her son confused. Cissy turns for advice to her biology teacher, who recommends an "entirely biological" approach and gives Cissy charts and other materials to share with the kids. Uncle Bill is uncomfortable with such a direct method, however. Eventually, he explains sweetly that babies come from love, an explanation that satisfies everyone. But French wonders if love is also the explanation to give the children for a friend's exploding rabbit population.
Commentary: A sweet and funny treatment of a universally awkward problem. It seems slightly progressive for a family comedy of this time--I know there was an earlier Dick Van Dyke Show with a similar theme, but that one was based upon a misunderstanding of what Richie really wanted to know. In this episode, Buffy and Jody really do want to know the facts, as kids about that age generally do.
Guest Cast: Miss Pringle: Viola Harris. Miss Livingstone: Athena Lorde. Miss Graham: Pauline Drake. Richard: Randy Whipple. Wendy: Pamelyn Ferdin. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Drake, Whipple, Ferdin and Angel all appear in multiple Family Affair episodes. Harris had a small role in 1997's Deconstructing Harry.
Burning Question: For how long do you think Uncle Bill's vague explanation satisfied the kids? Next time, they should just go straight to Cissy.
Continuity Notes: The kids' mother and father are mentioned.
Fun Facts: Infants terrify Mr. French.
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032--First Love
Aired: Synopsis: Buffy struggles with unrequited puppy love, while Uncle Bill is finally smitten with a woman he can't have--a career-oriented geologist. Buffy's object of a affection is equally unattainable; he's in sixth grade, while she's in second. Cissy tries to help her attract Andy, but he falls for Cissy. Meanwhile, Uncle Bill pursues his love despite her signals of disinterest, until she eventually reveals she's already engaged. Buffy and Uncle Bill end the episode commiserating about heartache.
Commentary: Along with Fat, Fat, The Water Rat, I rate this as one of Anissa Jones' best performances. Buffy seems appealing precocious--a phenomenon that probably springs from Anissa Jones' being older in real-life that Buffy was. The closing scene between Buffy and Uncle Bill is touching. And I absolutely love the rare chance to see Buffy's hair down. The odd part about this episode is Cissy's role. Yes, a second-grader might develop a crush on a sixth-grader, but a teenager should certainly see that such a match-up is impossible. It's one thing to humor Buffy, but Cissy actually encourages her. Also, it's a good thing sexual harrassment was an unknown concept at this time, or Uncle Bill would be in big trouble.
Guest Cast: Lise Lowell: Lee Meriwether. Andy: Joel Davison. Nanny: Towyna Thomas. Lee Meriwether is well known for parts on TV series like Batman and Barnaby Jones and in a variety of TV movies. She currently plays Ruth Martin on All My Children.
Notable Quotes: "Do I hear the first faint yappings of puppy love?" French
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033--Go Home, Mr. French
Aired: Synopsis: Romance is in the air for Mr. French when he meets up with an old flame, Lorna Frasier. She's the nanny for French's former employers, the Duke and Duchess of Glenmore, who want French back in their employ. The Duke offers French an executive position and urges Uncle Bill to let French feel as if he can take it. Uncle Bill and the kids try to make French feel less needed and, though French sees through their efforts, he does resign and accept the Duke's offer. Mainly, he wants to be near Lorna again. But when the kids say goodbye, it's clear he doesn't really want to leave. Uncle Bill talks the Duke into giving French a chance to change his mind, which he does, to the kids' delight. Though he professes to have stayed for practical reasons, they realize he would have missed them, and he finally admits it. He says a wistful goodbye to Lorna.
Commentary: A fairly routine episode, though I like the fact that French sees through the old sitcom "let's-make-him-feel-unnecessary-so-we-don't-hold-him-back" ploy. (Even such a recent show as recent my late, lamented Remember WENN used that device.) He should have kissed Lorna goodbye, though! At one point, French wanders down memory lane by looking at some old, beardless photos of himself. I imagine those might really be photos of Sebastian Cabot, but, if so, he looked a lot different (better) with his beard.
Guest Cast: Lorna Frasier: Anna Lee. Duchess of Glenmore: Cathleen Cordell. Jonathan: Riley Mills. Elizabeth: Nicci-Ann Frank. Miss Turner: Merri Wood Taylor. Duke of Glenmore: Patric Knowles. Knowles long motion picture career included substantive roles in such movies as The Adventures of Robin Hood, Of Human Bondage, Three Came Home and Auntie Mame. He once appeared on TV's The Rogues, in which the other Mr. French--John Williams--was a regular cast member. Anna Lee has had a similarly long and distiguished career, which included playing Bronwyn in How Green Was My Valley, in which Knowles also appeared. Other movies in which she had significant roles include King Solomon's Mines, Flying Tigers, Bedlam, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Fort Apache, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and The Sound of Music (she was Sister Margaretta, the nun most sympathetic to Maria). She may be best known today for her long-running role as Lila Quartermaine on General Hospital.
Inconsistency Alert: This is a picky one. French says he left Lorna to come to America a dozen years ago. We know he left London for America just nine years ago, when he came to work for Uncle Bill.
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034--Arthur, The Invisible Bear
Aired: Synopsis: Uh-oh! Jody's delusional again! This time he believes he has a large imaginary bear named Arthur. At first, Uncle Bill doesn't worry--after all, Buffy talks to Mrs. Beasley, so why shouldn't Jody have an imaginary friend? When Arthur's "presence" disrupts the classroom and the twins are sent home, he takes Jody to a child psychologist. She says the well-behaved Jody is using Arthur to act out his hatreds and hostilities. She encourages the rest of the family to accept Arthur. Uncle Bill tires of the psychological approach, however, and decides Jody is not really repressing any anger. He talks Jody into letting go of Arthur by releasing the bear into an "imaginary forest."
Commentary: Personally, I think I'm with the psychologist here. I foresee more time on a counselor's couch in Jody's future.
Guest Cast: Dr. Dorothy Cramer: Adrienne Marden. Miss Ainsley: Mitzi Hoag. Sue Evelyn: Susan Marie Benjamin. Howard: Kevin Cooper. Hoag had regular roles on the series Hawaii Five-O and Here Come the Brides.
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Aired: 10/9/67. Written by: Elroy Schwartz. Directed by: Charles Barton.
Synopsis: An older girl is a ruthless bully to Jody, who can't fight back because she's a girl.
Commentary: In the ineffectual attempts of family members to find a reasonable solution, this reminds me of the Buddy Hinton episode of The Brady Bunch.
Guest Cast: Girl: Kellie Flanagan. Mr. Michaels: Sean McClory. Mrs. Michaels: Kathleen O'Malley. Jeannie: Claire Wilcox. Flanagan was Candice in the TV series The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. McClory was the brother of actress Maureen O'Hara.
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036--The Candy Striper
Aired: Synopsis: A relaxing Saturday is shattered for Uncle Bill when Cissy and Buffy each make requests. Cissy wants him to talk City Hospital into letting her be a candy-striper, though she's still shy of 16. Buffy wants him to accompany her to a meeting of the Brownies, which she wants to join. He fulfills both their wishes. Cissy is soon challenged by her new responsibilities. When an elderly woman begs for water, Cissy forgets the hospital's number one rule about not giving food or water to patients without a doctor's okay. Her supervisor catches Cissy just before the old woman drinks any water, but Cissy gets a stern reprimand. Calling herself emotionally immature, Cissy is tempted to quit her job, but Uncle Bill convinces her that the mature thing to do is face up to her mistake and carry on. She is transferred to the maternity ward, where she regains self-confidence by helping to calm a frightened young woman in labor. Meanwhile, Buffy is delighted to be a Brownie and even earns some unofficial badges. She learns the pledge and is inducted, but the leader then finds out Buffy hasn't turned seven yet. She will have to wait to rejoin the troop after her birthday. Buffy is crushed, but she bounces back fairly quickly.
Commentary: This is the episode I remember best from my childhood. At the time, I found the scene with the old woman and Cissy's subsequent reprimand harrowing. Oddly, I totally forgot about the Buffy story, which now actually seems sadder and which was about a child much closer to my age. Go figure.
Guest Cast: Mrs. Russell: Alice Frost. Sharon: Sherry Alberoni. Mrs. Warren: Karen Green. Mrs. Elkins: Nydia Westman. Randy: Debi Storm. Mrs. Thompson: Audrey Dalton. Dalton made many guest appearances on TV westerns. Her film credits include 1953's Titanic. Debi Storm had a memorable Brady Bunch appearance--she was Molly Webber, the girl Marcia made over.
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037--Fat, Fat, The Water Rat
Aired: Synopsis: The story opens with a slighly lonely looking Buffy waiting for French to pick her up at dance school. While she waits outside, a rag-tag group of city kids marches by, playing a game. ("Fat, fat, the water rat/fifty bullets in his hat," Mike, the leader, sings.) They invite Buffy, who's casually clad in jeans and a jersey, to join them, and she has a wonderful, messy time playing and learning about the joys of "bread and buttah" and (later) "bread and sugah." She learns, however, that Mike and the others hate "fancy kids" and are unaware that Buffy comes from an affluent background. French is appalled to find her in a filthy state and discourages her from playing with the kids again. But when Buffy confides in Uncle Bill, he agrees to join in a seemingly harmless conspiracy to let Buffy play with her friends without letting French know. Bill dons work clothes and buys Buffy rummage sale clothes and the two venture into Mike's neighborhood. While the kids play, Bill talks to Mr. Callahan, the father of Mike and Katie. Things become awkward when Callahan wants to give Buffy some of Katie's dresses. Meanwhile, French receives an important phone call for Bill and tracks him down. French is disappointed that he's been tricked and Mr. Callahan is understandably humiliated and angry. ("Slumming is such a good sport," he sneers, "sort of like polo.") Bill gets French to understand that Buffy can be a "gentlewoman" no matter what kind of clothes she wears. Together, Bill and Buffy go to the Callahan's rent party, and Bill calls Callahan on his reverse snobbism. Bill also sees that Callahan gets a construction job. When the episode ends, Jody has joined Buffy in playing with Mike's group, and even French is learning to appreciate bread and sugar.
Commentary: This is without a doubt my favorite episode. Everything about it is perfection--even Mike's slightly over-the-top depiction of a street urchin works. Anissa Jones is absolutely wonderful at conveying Buffy's delight with her newfound world; she just beams, especially in the sweet bathtub scene. It's wonderful to see her hair in different styles--here we see it down, piled up on top of her head and pulled back in a ponytail. This is the ultimate example of Family Affair's continued preoccupation with confronting the various cultures of the big city. And, if you're inclined to overanalyze, you can also see Buffy's dilemma as "fancy kid" as a parallel for the difficulties child actors face in being cut off from normal childhood activities. One quibble: Though French commands much respect in the household, Uncle Bill should have final say about the kids' behavior. He shouldn't have needed to sneak around.
Guest Cast: Tim Callahan: Jackie Coogan. Mrs. Callahan: Marcia Mae Jones. Mike: Todd Baron. Miss Brown: Sandra Wirth. Woman: Lovyss Bradley. Katie: Sheila Duffy. The child actor spin on this episode is made more interesting by the presence of Coogan, himself a prolific child actor in the early days of film. Most memorably, he played the title role in Charlie Chaplin's The Kid. His experiences led to the law that protects the earnings of child actors. Coogan's later career as a character actor reached it's apex when he played Uncle Fester on The Addams Family. He also appeared on many TV shows, including The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Perry Mason and Gunsmoke. Jones began acting at a young age, also, and appeared in the Shirley Temple films Heidi and The Little Princess, William Wyler's These Three and The Champ--with Jackie Cooper, not Coogan. Wirth was in the Family Affair pilot.
Continuity note: Buffy is still dancing.
Inconsistency alert: Buffy subsequently wears the outfit Uncle Bill donated to the rummage sale.
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038--The Toy Box
Aired: Synopsis: There's trouble in the Davis household--the kids are leaving their things strewn about. Uncle Bill invokes a military-style rule, under which toys left out are confiscated and never returned. He realizes things have gone much to far, however, when Mrs. Beasley is almost relegated to the toy box.
Commentary: It's kind of a scary moment when Mrs. Beasley is nearly confiscated. Uncle Bill shows a becoming reasonableness in the resolution of the Cissy subplot.
Guest Cast: Joan Wilson: Cay Forester. Ronny: Dennis Olivieri.
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039--Take Me Out of the Ball Game
Aired: Synopsis: Jody wants to join the 63rd St. Tigers stickball team. He plans to try out for second base, a position Uncle Bill always want to play in baseball but never succeeded at. After Jody's first disastrous try-out, an overly involved Uncle Bill tries to train him. Jody shows little aptitude for the game, however, while a good throw from Buffy offers a hint of what's to come. At Jody's next try out, he again fails, but Buffy makes a good catch and is found to be a good hitter, too. She makes the team and Jody becomes bat boy. As long as he has his team sweatshirt, he's happy, and he doesn't resent Buffy's success at all. ("That's my sister," he says admiringly.) Uncle Bill, however, assumes Jody must be devastated, and he requires a lot of convincing to believe that Jody is really happy with the current state of affairs.
Commentary: I like the way Jody has no male ego problems at all with Buffy's success. Buffy is also shown to be equally supportive of Jody throughout the episode. Sure, one can argue that this isn't realistic sibling behavior, but isn't it nice that TV used to present positive examples of behavior for children? Besides, whenever Buffy and Jody act just too perfectly, I tell myself that their turbulent background would have fostered an unusually close relationship. One general thing that bears mentioning here: I just love when Jody calls her "Buff." Uncle Bill's projection of his own feelings onto Jody is quite believeable.
Guest Cast: Sam: David Brandon. Officer Wilson: Bob DoQui. Cab Driver: Johnny Silver. Randy: Stephen Liss. Roberto: Miguel Monsalve. Jose: Rudy Battaglia. This is Brandon's second appearance and the first of several by Monsalve. DoQui's TV appearances have continued steadily, all the way up to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, ER and The Practice. He's also appeared in many films, frequently as a cop. Silver was Benny Southstreet in Guys and Dolls and appeared in many episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show. He was also Dr. Blinky in the movie version of Pufnstuf. His last TV guest appearance was as a vendor in the Seinfeld episode The Understudy.
Fun Facts: Cissy reads Teen-Ager magazine. Buffy is an outfielder. Uncle Bill was a good hitter, but when he threw, he couldn't go to his left.
Notable Quotes: "If the expression 'not so hot' means not hitting the ball on 14 consecutive occasions then he was indeed, sir, not so hot." French
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040--You Like Buffy Better
Aired: Commentary: This is certainly an issue that would arise in such a family situation, especially when the time Uncle Bill spends at home is so limited. A cute episode; especially good are Buffy's buttercup dance and the way Uncle Bill gets rid of Ronny.
Guest Cast: Ronny Bartlett: Gregg Fedderson. Miss Peterson: Olga Kaya. Ballet Mother: Katey Barrett. Alicia: Kellie Flanagan. Secretary: Charlotte Askins. Eric Langley: Del Moore. This is Flanagan's second FA appearance. Moore's career included a regular role on Bachelor Father--a show with a similar premise to Family Affair--and a part in 1963's The Nutty Professor. Fedderson, the son of executive producer Don Fedderson, would make many more appearances as Cissy's date, usually named Gregg. He was the brother of Petticoat Junction's Mike Minor.
Notable Quotes: "I do it better with my costume on--all fluffy and buttercuppy." Buffy
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041--Freddie
Aired: Synopsis: Uncle Bill's old friend Freddie from Terre Haute has a great rapport with the kids but, sadly, none of her own. When her husband sees her with Buffy and Jody, he finally agrees that they might try adoption.
Commentary: The episode's conclusion seems obvious, but I like the character Freddie. I think it's especially cute when she puts perfume on Buffy and Mrs. Beasley.
Guest Cast: Freddie: Diane Brewster. Greg: Willard Sage. Ruth: Barbara Collentine. Sue Jeanette: Susan Benjamin.Brewster appeared in The Young Philadelphians, in which Brian Keith (and John Williams) had roles. She was Beaver's teacher Miss Canfield on Leave it to Beaver and the murdered wife on The Fugitive and appeared in many TV westerns. This appearance on Family Affair was her last acting job. Sage had film roles in The Tender Trap and That Touch of Mink. As an adult, Susan Benjamin has worked as a set decorator and production designer. Harris often appeared on The Big Valley as the sheriff.
Continuity Notes: Lots of reference to Terre Haute. The kids' parents are mentioned.
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042--Our Friend Stanley
Aired: Synopsis: The twins befriend a disabled boy, Stanley, who has an overprotective mother that Uncle Bill tries to get through to.
Commentary: This is a good episode, another one of many in which Buffy and Jody are confronted with a child who is different from them in some way.
Guest Cast: Stanley: Michael Freeman. Miss Jerome: Ila Britton. Eddie: Gary Dubin. Estelle: Sally Forrest. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Doug: John Lupton. Dubin was Punky Lazaar in several Partridge Family episodes. Lupton appeared on Days of Our Lives in the 1960s and '70s. He was also in the film Napolean and Samantha with Johnnie Whitaker.
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043--Somebody Upstairs
Aired: Synopsis: Cissy and Buffy become fascinated with a Broadway legend who lives upstairs. To Bill and French's dismay, she feeds the girls' show business fantasies, and soon they stop caring about school and all else.
Commentary: Well, as far as Cissy and Buffy's song goes--I think they better stay in school.
Guest Cast: Laura London: Joan Blondell. Ruby: Ernestine Wade. Blondell had a long career in films, mainly in "wisecracking friend of the leading lady" roles in light musicals. Some highlights from her career in the 1930s include Golddiggers of 1933, Footlight Parade and The Crowd Roars. She was once married to Dick Powell. Later, she had more serious roles in such films as Cry Havoc (fellow Family Affair alum Ann Sothern also starred) and the wonderful A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. She had regular roles in the TV series Here Come the Brides and Banyon, but younger viewers may remember her best as Vi in 1978's Grease. Wade was Sapphire Stevens in the TV series Amos and Andy.
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044--Star Dust
Aired: Synopsis: Uncle Bill is taken with a movie star, who at first seems willing to give up her career and settle down. It soon becomes clear, however, that she will not be happy if she gives up acting.
Guest Cast: Carol Haven: Martha Hyer. Photographer: Ray Ballard. Woman: Helen Eby-Rock. Myron Fox: John Howard. Reporter: Grace Lenard. Second Nanny: Nora Marlowe. Hyer was quite a successful film actress with important roles in such films as Battle Hymn, Some Came Running, Houseboat, The Best of Everything and The Sons of Katie Elder. Howard also had a long film career that included roles in Lost Horizon and The Philadelphia Story. Lenard had an uncredited role in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, in which Hyer appeared. Marlowe had small parts in films ranging from An Affair to Remember to Kitten with a Whip and a recurring role as Flossie on The Waltons.
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045--Best of Breed
Aired: Synopsis: The twins find a stray dog, but apartment rules forbid keeping it. The kids soon discover, however, that an exception is made for an award-winning pedigreed pooch. When their mutt wins a prize in a contest for ordinary dogs, the apartment manager relents.
Guest Cast: Lewis: Richard Bull. Girl: Kym Karath. Mrs. Hobson: Gerry Lock. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Judge: Larry Thor. Bull is probably best known for playing the beleaguered Nels Oleson on Little House on the Prairie. Karath makes her second of three FA appearances. Lock's most recent TV appearance was in a 1998 episode of Dharma and Greg.
Inconsistency Alert: Probably the most glaring one of all--what happened to the dog?
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046--Family Reunion
Aired: Synopsis: The Davis family receives an invitation from Aunt Fran to a family reunion in Terre Haute. At first, Uncle Bill is reluctant to go and expose the kids to painful memories. They convince him that the trip would fun, however. When the family arrives at Aunt Fran's, the kids are instantly off to visit their old schools, and Aunt Fran tells Bill of her "forlorn hopes of winning them back." The kids have fun seeing their old friends, and Cissy renews a friendship with a boy who asks her to fly back in two weeks for a big dance. Assuming he'll balk, Cissy asks Uncle Bill for permission. All three kids are startled when he says maybe and even seems to consider Aunt Fran's suggestion that the kids remain in Terre Haute with her for three weeks. Once again, Fran gets the kids thinking they are a burden to their Uncle. When they confront him about it, he assures them that they will leave as soon as the family reunion is over. As it turns out, that's not soon enough for the kids when painful memories begin to surface. Cissy remembers picnics at the lake with her parents before the twins were born, and the twins show French a drug store where their father took them for ice cream. Jody has memories of his father taking him to the barbershop and, most poignantly, Buffy remembers the day her mother bought Mrs. Beasley for her. "It was the last thing...the very last thing," she says wistfully. The kids prevail on Bill to take the first plane back to New York, where they have their own "family reunion."
Commentary: This a favorite episode of mine, as it typifies the underlying sadness that makes Family Affair special to me. By the second season, most shows of this type would have forgotten all about the kids' orphan status. The kids' memories of their parents are the episode's highlight, and I love French's tender manner as Buffy and Jody reminisce. Aunt Fran is as annoying as ever--apparently she has progressed from wanting none of the kids, to wanting the girls, to wanting all of them. Uncle Harold's complaints about grocery prices strengthen my belief that he's looking for additional tax deductions. One nit-picky thing: I can understand why a year would make such a difference at Buffy and Jody's age, but it's silly the way Cissy keeps exclaiming over remembering things after only a year's absence.
Guest Cast: Fran Higer: Louise Latham. Harold Higer: Bill Zuckert. Harvey: Jim Henaghan.
Fun Facts: A sign proclaims that Terre Haute is the "Queen City of the Wabash Valley." The kids' mother had a beautiful singing voice. Scotty fed Jody's turtle while the family was away. Buffy has a goldfish.
Continuity Notes: Of course, the entire episode refers back to the show's origin.
Notable Quotes: "I find it a matter of note that, in New York or Terre Haute, school cookies always seem to be oatmeal." French
"If you leave a slide out in the rain, can it shrink?" Jody, trying to understand why the slide that looks so big a year ago now seems small
"When you come back, you remember all the little things you thought you'd forgotten, but you haven't...you really haven't." Cissy
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047--A Man's Place
Aired: Synopsis: French meets up with the widow of an old friend, and the two hit it off. French's position at Uncle Bill's makes their dating awkward, however, and Florence convinces French to resign and help her open a restaurant. French helps to pick his replacement but becomes dismayed when he realizes how rigid the new caregiver is with the kids. He decides to return to the family.
Commentary: This episode reveals the difficult social position French occupies as an adult with no real home of his own. I like that the Ann Sothern character, who could have been played as a villainess who steals French away, is actually a pretty nice lady who really does seem to have his best interests at heart. She just doesn't realize the depth of love he's developed for the Davis children. Smyser is wonderfully odious--you can't help hating him.
Guest Cast: Florence Cahill: Ann Sothern. Mr. Smyser: Laurie Main. Mr. Tyburn: Leslie Randall. Miss Martin: Kaye Elhardt. Clerk: Ralph Manza. Sothern appeared in many B movies throughout the 1930s and starred for ten years in the Maisie series of films. Some of her more important films include Cry Havoc, Words and Music and A Letter to Three Wives (she also had a part in a TV remake of the latter). For eight years she starred in two TV series, Private Secretary and The Ann Sothern Show, which earned her four Emmy nominations. She was also the voice of the title character in the series My Mother, The Car. With her last film role, in 1987's The Whales of August, Sothern captured an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Manza's career has been full of bit parts, but you have to admire his tenacity. From Perry Mason in the '50s through 1960s westerns through Barney Miller and CHiPs in the 1970s and Newhart and The Golden Girls in the 1980s, he's kept right on working. His 1990s TV appearances include Seinfeld, The Nanny, Home Improvement and, most recently, Charmed. Randall would return once as Mr. Tyburn.
Fun Facts: The restaurant, Our Mr. French, was on E. 54th Street. French began training for his career at 16 and landed his first position at 22. Jody has trouble tying his shoelaces. Buffy's non-stop skipping record is 139.
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048--The Great Kow-Tow
Aired: Synopsis: An elderly Chinese man "adopts" Buffy and Jody his grandchildren.
Guest Cast: Grandfather Chang: Keye Luke. Paul Chang: Benson Fong. Betty Chang: Lisa Lu. Liang: Beulah Quo. Luke played son Lee Chan in the Charlie Chan series of films and had small parts in dozens of movies right up until his death in 1991. He was Master Po in the TV series Kung Fu. Fong, too, was in Kung Fu: He played Han Fei. He would return to FA twice as the character Ho. Lu was An Mei in 1993's The Joy Luck Club.
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049--The Fish Watchers
Aired: Synopsis: Uncle Bill must pose as one of his own workers to find out who's stealing materials from a construction site. While undercover, he commiserates with a worker about the kids' scattered interests, and the worker recommends tropical fish as a family project. The kids have fun choosing the fish, but things go downhill from there. They consider the fish Uncle Bill's and find them pretty boring and occasionally traumatizing, such as when the eat each other. Uncle Bill catches the thief, helps the worker become a draftsman and gives his family the fish.
Commentary: My own childhood experience with fish is reflected perfectly in the scene in which a terrorized Buffy screams as the fish eat each other. It's fun to see Uncle Bill get to kick a little you-know-what.
Guest Cast: Scott Norvell: Ray Baxter. Bookkeeper: Gene Tyburn. Salesman: Gene Barton. Guard: Howard Culver. Driver: Jack Lilley. Helper: Guy Way. Baxter was in The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! with Brian Keith and Johnnie Whitaker. It's kind of amusing to note that bit-part actors seem to play certain kinds of parts over and over again. Culver was often a newscaster, and Lilley, who plays a driver here, appeared in many episodes of Little House on the Prairie as a stagecoach driver. He also worked as a stuntman and an animal wrangler.
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050--The Day Nothing Happened
Aired: Synopsis: French visits his brother on Long Island and gets stranded in a blizzard. Uncle Bill must watch the twins, who invite in a group of kids and run amok--for instance, they build a snowman inside. Meanwhile, the TV blows up, and Cissy nurses a cold that interferes with her plans with a new guy, Norton Webberly.
Commentary: The kids' mayhem is fun, but I find the Cissy story fairly tedious. I like the reference to White Sulphur Springs--hey, that's in my home state!
Guest Cast: Charley: Ray Kellogg. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Sharon: Sherry Alberoni. Delivery Man: James Victor. Kellogg worked behind the cameras much more than he did in front of them. He was in the crew of such films as Cleopatra, Carousel, The Seven-Year Itch, Love is a Many-Splendoured Thing, Niagara and What Price Glory? His special effects work appeared in Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison, Desk Set, The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, among many other films. He directed 1968's The Green Berets. This is Victor's second FA appearance, and Alberoni and Lukas, of course, are mainstays.
Continuity Notes: Captain Hippopotamus is mentioned.
Fun Facts: Winnie the Pooh is Buffy and Jody's favorite book.
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051--A House in the Country
Aired: Synopsis: Uncle Bill gets it into his head that the kids would be better off in the suburbs. He buys a house, but the kids don't want to leave the city. They play along, however, to please him. Finally, he learns the truth, and they remain city-dwellers.
Commentary: I like this episode's rejection of the stereotypical suburban ideal in favor of urban life.
Guest Cast: Mr. Pendergast: Mauritz Hugo. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Jerry: Patrick Moore. Mr. Burgess: Walter Reed. Pamela: Debi Storm. Moore was apparently well known as the host of an astronomy show in the UK. This is Storm's second FA appearance.
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052--A Matter of Tonsils
Aired: Synopsis: Just as the title says--Buffy and Jody endure tonsillectomies.
Guest Cast: Dr. Felson: Oliver McGowan. Miss Jones: Carol Nugent. This is McGowan's second of three appearances as a doctor on the show.
053--Member of the Family
Aired: Synopsis: French is hurt when Cissy exhibits several sketches of the family at school, but his is not among them.
Commentary: This is one of the best French episodes--his sadness at being excluded is poignant.
Guest Cast: Withers: Richard Peel. Mrs. Scofield: Joan Vohs. Peter: Randy Whipple. All are FA veterans. (Vohs will appear most often in the third season as the twin's teacher Miss Cummings.)
Continuity Notes: Cissy's talent for sketching was first revealed in season one.
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054--His and Hers
Aired: Synopsis: At Buffy and Jody's school parents night, Uncle Bill meets a widow with two girls and a boy exactly the same ages as Cissy, Buffy and Jody. The kids are thrilled when the two hit it off, and Buffy and Jody are soon hoping that Uncle Bill will marry Margaret. Things begin to change, however, as the Davis kids spend time with the Williams' kids. Cissy and her counterpart Vicky enjoy sharing clothes, but Cissy is less than thrilled when Vicky steals Cissy's date. Timmy gets Jody into trouble and the two get into a physical brawl. Perhaps most cruelly, Jill pretends Mrs. Beasley told her that she prefers Jill to Buffy. Meanwhile, Uncle Bill becomes disenchanted with Margaret and is surprised to find that the kids are delighted that he won't be getting married. Meanwhile, French is profoundly relieved at escaping "that mass of tiny creatures."
Commentary: This predates The Brady Bunch by more than a year and anticipates the comic situations that could result from a large, blended family (though Family Affair puts a considerably darker--and more realistic--spin on how kids might react to such a situation). Buffy and Jody's "How do people get married?" inquiries are cute, and I love French's dismay at the prospect of being "nanny" to six kids. I must say, I also find Uncle Bill's take on parenting refreshing: "I'm not a pal to my kids...I'm older than them and smarter than them and more responsible than them, so I decide what's best for them."
Guest Cast: Margaret Williams: Coleen Gray. Vicky: Kay Cole. Timmy: Tony Fraser. Jill: Martine Fraser. Allan: Mickey Sholdar. Norman: George Winters. Tony Fraser would appear again. Martine Fraser is surely his sister; their strong resemblance suggests a genuine set of boy-girl twins. Coleen Gray made her share of guest appearances in westerns and shows like Perry Mason and Emergency!. Cole had small roles in 1978's Coma and the 1991 TV docudrama Switched at Birth.
Continuity Notes: Uncle Bill mentions his brother.
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055--The New Cissy
Aired: Synopsis: Incredibly, Cissy is having trouble attracting male attention. The only boy who likes her, Wendell Owens, is not popular. Uncle Bill first encourages Cissy to throw a party, but only Wendell shows up. Then Bill amasses a team of fashion and beauty experts to remake Cissy completely. The lovely result attracts plenty of male attention, but Wendell becomes disenchanted with this girl he no longer knows, and Cissy realizes she'd rather be herself. A subplot finds Buffy plagued by phone calls from a heavy-breathing admirer--oh, my. I thought this was a family show.
Commentary: The premise of this show seems odd, since we've seen Cissy do pretty well in the boy department. The Buffy subplot is adorable, of course, but the heavy breathing does seem a bit out of place. Truly appalling, however, is the psychologist who advises Cissy to avoid befriending attractive women!
Guest Cast: Wendell: Charles Herbert. Model: Lynn Borden. Drama Teacher: Jenifer Lea. Hairdresser: Danielle Aubry. Psychologist: Jackie Russell. Dress Stylist: Maurine Dawson. Laura: Diane Mountford. Trish: Susan Abbott. Rick: Oaky Miller. Eddie: Patrick Thomas. Jeff: Scutter McKay. Aubry made five FA appearances and also had guest roles on My Three Sons and, more recently, Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place. Borden was in a first-season episode. Mountford made two appearances as Gail; later she would appear as Anita and even as Sharon, a part Sherry Alberoni played previously. Herbert had a fairly successful childhood career, with roles in such films as Houseboat, The Fly and Please Don't Eat the Daisies. Thomas has stayed pretty active in acting throughout the '90s, and he's apparently fairly successful as a standup comic, too. McKay had a role in the movie version of H.R. Pufnstuf.
Inconsistency Alert: In this episode, Cissy says her best friends are Trish and Laura. At one point, however, she refers to them as Trish and Gail, and the actress who plays Laura has previously appeared as Gail. So, why didn't they just call her character Gail throughout this episode? Also, one wonders what Sharon did to drop out of favor with Cissy.
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056--The Family Outing
Aired: Synopsis: The whole family goes on a camping trip, which French and the girls predictable hate.
Commentary: I disagree with Uncle Bill's decision to tell Jody the truth--that Uncle Bill helped him catch his first fish. How would it have hurt to let Jody believe he did it alone?
Guest Cast: This is a rare episode that has no guest cast at all.
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057--Mr. French's Holiday
Aired: Synopsis: French has carefully planned an Old West vacation for himself and made up an itinerary of things he enjoys. Meanwhile, Uncle Bill is away on business and kids staying with friends when Jody is exposed to mumps. Cissy and Bill's secretary Miss Lee must find a place for him right away, and they end up sending him west to stay with French. Soon Buffy and Cissy join French as well. The character of the vacation changes, of course, as French's planned visits to historical and cultural sites gives way to discotheques and doll shows. In the end, however, French admits to Uncle Bill that the kids--far from ruining his vacation--rescued it.
Commentary: This is another good French episode, and it really shows that the kids have added a new dimension to his life. Visually, of course, the highlight is the discotheque scene--Buffy and Jody are adorable dancing at their seats, but when French tears up his itinerary and starts bouncing around himself, it is a Family Affair moment to remember.
Guest Cast: Miss Lee: Betty Lynn. Jim Tallfeather: Dennis Cross. Peter: Randy Whipple. Randy: Danny Llorens. Hostess: Adele Claire.
Inconsistency Alert: This one only applies to the on-screen credits. Bill's secretary is correctly referred to as Miss Lee on the show, but the credits list her as Miss Carter. Cross played a policeman in two Munsters episodes.
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058--The Beasley Story
Aired: Synopsis: Mrs. Beasley's arm is broken--she requires surgery at the doll hospital.
Guest Cast: Foster: Ivan Bonar. East Indian: Naji Gabbay. Mr. Green: Tim Graham. Mrs. Green: Natalie Masters. East Indian: Aly Wassil. Gabbay and Wassil are FA veterans.
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059--The Baby Sitters
Aired: Synopsis: Uncle Bill is having bridge trouble--in his mouth, that is. He's also having a bad day that gets worse when he breaks the handle on his suitcase. He can't find his dentist, has a meeting to attend and has to leave soon for Hong Kong. French takes off to find a leather shop that stays open late and leaves the twins with Cissy. When a boy shows up with tickets to a Velvet Vultures concert, however, Cissy can't resist and talks Sharon into minding the kids. Soon Sharon's headache turns into measles (or chicken pox?), and she calls her mother down to take over babysitting. Mrs. James is too worried about Sharon to concentrate, however. She calls Mr. James, who brings his poker buddies to the apartment. Uncle Bill and French return at nearly the same time. Though Bill is none too pleased with Cissy's poor judgment, he is pleased to find that one of the poker buddies is none other than his dentist.
Commentary: The circular plot is executed pretty well here, and there are lots of nice details. I like the various stories that the twins are told about Mrs. Beasley, especially Cissy's, which takes place in the subway and reveals the twins' familiarity with little details of urban life. I also like seeing a manipulative side to Jody as he tricks each sitter into giving him milk and cookies.
Guest Cast: Sharon: Sherry Alberoni. Mrs. James: Doris Singleton. Mr. James: Walter Sande. Dr. Perry: Carleton Young. Danny: Dennis Olivieri. Tom: Barry Brooks. Jim: Bert D. Whaley. Bob: Dick Winslow. Mr. Chung: James Hong. Mr. Lin: Allen Jung. Hong's TV appearances continue right up through a 1999 episode of Millennium. Like several Family Affair guest stars, he had a recurring role on Kung Fu (he was Hsiang). Sande was Papa Holstrum on the TV series The Farmer's Daughter. Singleton had a regular role as Caroline Appleby on I Love Lucy and appeared in several episodes of Here's Lucy. This is the second of three appearances by Young.
Continuity Notes: Velvet Vultures references, of course. Scotty is mentioned.
Inconsistency Alert: When we first met Sharon, she was "between mothers." Of course Mrs. James could be a new stepmother--if so, she's a good one judging from her concern for Sharon. Also, Sharon's previously revealed apartment number was 12B, but she's now referred to as living upstairs. Maybe Mr. James moved when he married.
Notable Quotes: "Sometimes we're a problem." Jody