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Genesis 29:

Reading #122  The marriage arrangement

Hello again to all of you,

Now, with a new and abiding faith in the divine promises, and assured of the presence and guardianship of heavenly angels (God shares our care with agents), Jacob pursued his journey to “the land of the children of the East [of the river Euphrates, margin].”

But how different his arrival from that of Abraham's messenger nearly a hundred years before! The servant had come with a number of attendants riding upon camels, and with rich gifts of gold and silver; the son was a lonely, footsore traveller, with no possessions except his staff. One was doing God’s work, the other his own, and it showed.

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Genesis 29:

1 Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east. 2 And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone was upon the well's mouth [to keep it clean and safe from wild animals]. 3 And there were all the flocks [normally] gathered: and [then] they rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well's mouth in his place. 

4 And Jacob said to them, “My brethren, where be you [Where are you from]?” And they said, “Of Haran are we.” 5 And he said to them, “Know you Laban the [grand]son of Nahor?” And they said, “We know him.” 6 And he said to them, “Is he well?” And they said, “He is well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter comes with the sheep.”

7 And he said, “Lo, it is yet high day [noon], neither is it time that the cattle should be gathered together [for the night]: water you the sheep, and go and feed them [go back to work].” 8 And they said, “We cannot [we are not allowed to by our laws], until all the flocks be gathered together, and till they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep [a conservation measure].”

9 And while he yet spoke with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them. 10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother [his uncle], and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. 11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept. 12 And Jacob [had] told Rachel that he was her father's brother [a relation], and that he was Rebekah's son [therefore her cousin]: and she ran and told her father.

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Like Abraham's servant 97 years earlier, Jacob tarried beside a well, and it was here that he met Rachel, Laban's younger daughter. It was Jacob now (with his mother’s character) who rendered the service, rolling the stone from the well and watering the flocks.  It did not seem to matter to him that he was breaking a local law.  Then, on making known his kinship, he was welcomed to the home of Laban. 

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Genesis 29:

13 And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things [his genealogy and reason for leaving home]. 14 And Laban said to him, “Surely you are my bone [my relation] and my flesh [like me in character].” And he abode with him the space of a month.

15 And Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my brother [relative], should you therefore serve me for nought [nothing]?  Tell me, what shall your wages be?” [Although he was the priest for the family he still had to work.]

16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was “Leah” [“cow” or “heifer”], and the name of the younger was “Rachel” [“ewe” or “lamb”]. 17 Leah was tender eyed [“delicate and gentle”]; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured [with a strong personality]. 18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.”

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Though he had come without means and unattended, a few weeks was sufficient to show the worth of his diligence and skill, and he was urged to stay. It was arranged that he should render Laban seven years' service for the hand of Rachel the beautiful.

In early times custom required the bridegroom, before the marriage, to pay a sum of money or its equivalent in other property, according to his circumstances, to the father of his intended wife. This was regarded as a safeguard to the marriage relationship.  Wise fathers did not think it safe to trust the happiness of their precious daughters to men who had not made provision for the support of a family. If they had not sufficient thrift and energy to manage business and acquire cattle or lands, it was feared that their life would prove worthless.

But provision was made to test those who had nothing to show their capability. They were permitted to labour for the father whose daughter they loved, the length of time being regulated by the value of the dowry required. When the suitor was faithful in his services, and proved in other respects worthy, he obtained the daughter as his wife; and generally the dowry that the father had received was given to her (not the husband) at her marriage. It was not a “bride price” but a safeguard.  The wife kept it after the marriage as an insurance against the premature loss of her husband.

In the case of both Rachel and Leah, however, Laban selfishly retained the dowry that should have been given them.  They referred to this when they said, just before they moved from Mesopotamia with their husband, “He [our father] has sold us, and has quite devoured also our money.”  Genesis 31:15.

This ancient custom, though sometimes abused, as by Laban, was normally productive of good results. When the would-be husband was required to render service to secure his bride, a hasty marriage was prevented, and there was opportunity to test the depth of his affections, as well as his ability to provide for a family.

In our time many evils result from pursuing an opposite course. It is often the case that persons before marriage have little opportunity or desire to become acquainted with each other's habits and disposition, and, so far as everyday life is concerned, they are virtually strangers when they unite their interests before God.

Many find, too late, that they are not adapted to each other, and lifelong wretchedness is the result of their union. Often the wife and children suffer from the laziness and inefficiency or the vicious habits of the husband and father. If the character of the man had been tested before marriage, according to the ancient custom, great unhappiness might have been prevented.

Be that as it may, Jacob was content to enter into this arrangement.

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Genesis 29:

19 And Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you, than that I should give her to another man [because you are close to God as His priest]: abide with me.” 20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days, for the love he had to her.

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In the providence of God the unerring pen of Inspiration does not withhold the mistakes and transgressions of otherwise good men and women. In the Bible their sins are clearly brought to light, and also the just judgment of God. How can a righteous God, and a loving One, do that to His people?  Does He not respect our privacy?  Does He who says that if one sins against you, go to him alone to discuss it, not do it Himself?  Matthew 18:15.

If we understand that the descriptions of sinful actions were written a long time after the deaths of the characters concerned in them that helps.  But what about when they were alive and the stories followed them about, whispered from ear to ear?  Only if we understand that they were happy, and indeed, anxious, that these incidents should be recorded and known can we see clearly.  As Christians, they wanted to save others from falling into the same mistakes that they had made, and therefore THEY asked God to publicise their mistakes so that they could show His forgiveness and deliverance.  He does respect our privacy and our confidences unless asked.

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Consider Psalm 51:

9 [David sang publicly] “Hide Your face from my sins [don’t look at me critically], and blot out all my iniquities [from the record book by Christ taking them to Himself]. 10 [Continuously] create in me a clean heart, O God; and [continuously] renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from Your presence; and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation [with Your forgiveness]; and uphold me with Your free Spirit.” 

13 “Then will I [be able to] teach transgressors Your ways [show them how righteous You are]; and sinners shall be converted to You. 14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness [from the responsibility for others continuing in my type of sin without my warning them], O God, You God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.”

15 “O Lord, open You my lips [tell me what to say]; and my mouth shall show forth Your praise [and let the Bible “talk” for me when I am dead]. 16 For You desire not sacrifice [of animals]; else would I give it: You delight not in burnt offering. 17 The [true] sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise [turn away from].” 

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It was in this way that John the apostle learned the details of the secret meeting between Jesus and Nicodemus (Nicodemus told him) and was able to share it with the readers of his gospel.  John 3:1-21.

It was because of his transgression towards his brother that Jacob became a fugitive from his home, compelled to serve a hard master for twenty years. A cruel fraud was practiced upon him in his marriage with Leah, his ten sons deceived him as he had deceived his father, and for many years he mourned over the supposed death of Joseph. All these years Jacob was a receiver of God's favour, yet he had sown a crop that he must reap which is why we know about it now.  Neither time nor repentance could change into golden grain the vile weed sown.  Nor can Jesus completely alter the results – He just gives us strength to endure them.

This view of the matter makes it of the highest consequence that in words and actions we move in conscious integrity, for He warns “whatsoever a man [or woman] sows, that shall he [she] also reap.”  Galatians 6:7. 

But, thank God, it is not all doom and gloom!  Consider also this thought: “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” Psalm 126:5.  Those that “sow” in selfish pleasure and gainseeking will receive one reward, while those who “sow” in tears of repentance will receive another.  

See you next week,

Ron

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