The Mating game...

By Jennifer Lynn

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The data collection portion of this survey has been completed. I thank those who have participated. I am now in the process of compiling the results which I hope to publish here and in the TransGender Forum online Zine in the near future.

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T the mating game is a pursit fundamental to humanity. As the famed Anthropologist Desmond Morris, creater of the documentary series The Human Animal puts it, "over 99% of all human beings form at least one exclusive pair bond in their lifetime". It don't get much more fundamental than that folks...;)

However in a post industrial society the game has begun to break down. Despite a deluge of experts, huge quantities of research, and a societal obsession with this topic divorce rates remain subbornly high. Something on the order of 50% of all permanent pair bonds fail.

This is perhaps no surprise in the face of economic pressures, the changing role of men and women, the breakdown of tradional family networks, and the extereme stress of live at the end of the 20th century. That a majority of us stumble through our days clinically sleep deprived is, in my estimation, a good measure of the hectic pace of our lifes.

Interestingly enough the rates of relationship failure are quite similar across socio-economic, race, religion and yes even sexual preference boundries. Simply put though we all are seeking a life partner few are finding that soul mate with whom we end up sharing our lives.

Like the rest of the world the TransGender community is in the middle of this relationship crisis. If I had a dollar for every tale of woe about a partner I have heard from a TG person and yes told as well, I would be wealthy enough to do nothing more than sip Sangria in a tropical isle for the rest of my days. What is sad in this is that our special challenge to relationships is not IMHO being discussed or studied in any significant way. There may be some good information out there on relationships and TransGender but I have not found much to date.

Recently in my favourite chat room I was venting my own frustrations about ongoing difficulties between me and my partner. As is ususal in this room we soon had a major bitch session in progress. At some point in the conversation I was seeking the answer to a basic question about TransGender relationships. That is "Do long term, exclusive relationships that include a TransGender partner fail more or less than those in the general population".

Nobody knew or were able to point me to a good source to answer the question. Then it happened... in a minor, well very minor, flash of light it occured to me that I should use the net to conduct a survey. Not very scientific perhaps but better than nothing and definately better just bitching. After all in time bitching is just BITCHING isn't it?

To this end I have designed a SIMPLE TransGender Relationship Survey which can be accessed from this document. It is my hope enough of you will complete the survey and in some small way help me answer the initial question. I think it is important to know how well or how poorly Transgender people are faring in the mating game....

Do you?

For those interested you may follow the link to my

TransGender Relationship Survey

I will post the results, such as they come to be, in the fall.

Comments, corrections, rebuttals?

Please feel free to let loose. Otherwise I am just muttering in the dark and as such am liable to be given a rear lacing suit and be hauled off to a quiet and dark place. I don't look good in white either....;)

Eh!!! (Old Canadian Anachronism)