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Sexual Orientation

What causes sexual orientation?  Is it a choice?

Sexual orientation, whether it be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual does not appear to be something that one chooses. Recent studies suggest that sexual orientation has a genetic or biological component, and is probably determined before or shortly after birth. Contrary to the misconception currently being put forward that the pleasure obtained from same-gender sexual activity is so great that it causes a person to choose to live a life in which they are immediately hated by family and friends, become an unindicted felon (in over 20 states -- including Virginia), and face legal discrimination in employment, housing and public accomodation (in virtually all of the Commonwealth and over 40 other states) --  gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered (GLBT) people, like heterosexuals, discover their sexuality as a process of maturing, they are not recruited, seduced or taught to be homosexual. The only choice GLBT people have is whether or not to live their lives honestly, or according to society's unrealistic expectations.

Bisexuality & Homosexuality

Sin or Sickness?

The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association and all major mental health associations do not consider homosexuality or bisexuality to be an emotional or mental disorder. Published research is overwhelming -- there is no significant difference between the mental health of heterosexuals and the mental health of bisexuals, homosexuals, and transgendered people. However, the social stigma associated with being GLBT and the pressures that society places on an individual to conform to certain gender-role expectations can be emotionally trying. A lie that is currently enjoying vast popularity is that gay people can be "cured" -- be aware that there is no documented evidence of a single instance of long-term "cure" (even if there were such a need!) for homosexuality or bisexuality. What needs to be cured is society's homophobia and sexism!

Gay people grow up in all types of homes, with all types of families. They are raised in rural areas, large cities and everywhere in between. Gay men and lesbians represent every socioeconomic, ethnic, and religious background possible. (See especially "Steps To Recovery From Bible Abuse").

Just as there is no such thing as a single heterosexual lifestyle, there is no such thing as a single gay lifestyle. Anti-gay activists have promoted the idea that the lives of homosexuals revolve around sex and the pursuit of sexual encounters, and that the only identity homosexuals have is with being gay. To anti-gay organizations this is the only gay lifestyle that exists, and they do their best to promote this misconception. (This is just one of the lies that will be exposed as stereotypes and misconceptions associated with sexual minorities are examined).

In reality, the lives of gays and lesbians are as varied as the lives of heterosexuals. Some choose to live in long term committed relationships, others choose to remain single. Some couples choose to raise children, others do not.  Hobbies, occupations and activities are just as varied as within the heterosexual population.

Coming Out

Living honestly or in fear and hiding -- that's the choice!

Being attracted to someone of the same sex can be frightening -- so frightening that you may deny your feelings, or throw yourself into dating the opposite sex, just to prove you are not gay or lesbian.

But then the feelings come up again. You try to put them out of your mind but you can't. Finally, you stop resisting, and in that instant, your world changes. You discover that being with someone of the same gender feels better than being with the opposite gender ever did. But what will this mean for the rest of your life?

Certainly, life is more challenging if you are GLBT. It requires that you develop the courage to honor your own experience of love above anyone else's judgments about it. But you can do it. Millions of people have, and many say it was the best thing they ever did. (Check out these "Coming Out" Resources).

Our hope is that Shenanoah Valley Friends will serve to embrace and encourage your decision to live your life honestly . . .

 

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Last modified on December 17, 1998 by Web Editor.