Lyrics ...Not Sappy!!!!... Not!
eunuch
absurdity.... profundity... splinters prick at my heels
and I dream of her... neither here nor there...
bent shadows... crooked smiles... words become as weapons
and I... feel the coldness slither up my spine...
in between... she's inbetween...
ghosts reflecting in the soaking concrete... throwing insults
i sometimes wonder... is it me?
is what I feel real? or fantasy that should've died with my youth...
yes relections...
she stares at me from the glass... and weeps softly... my angel
fascade
how long can I keep up this fascade i can fool myself, but i can't fool god
I've felt this way for so long I can't bury it or it'll bury me... in the end
these feelings dilute me day in, day out, makes no sense why I'm this
way, should have been someone else someone who could stand the pain.
no burden is more than we can bear, i know in my soul it's not a mistake
a reason, a purpose i must believe at times end, new life i receive
chemical, environmental, call it what you will, i'm the one who has to live in this skin...
liberty
caught in the dark, confusion devours me walking the tightrope, feeling my way
clawing the air for unseen security i trust god knows where i'm going
day after day the questions burn in me am i doing the right thing am i going mad
do i go on living with myself as i am i'll do what i have to do to survive
no time for self pity no time for blame focus my strength on destroying the shame
and the guilt that were eating me aliveÉ
i want liberty eyes always downwardÉnow i hold my head high
my faith a place of strength in the hands of the father i place my life
i prayed and prayed for a miracle that never came to me in my youth
i layed in the dark still silence begging for one blessed shred of truth
but instead i buried myself so far inside, i couldn't see the real me
and now my prayer's been realized and i've been completely set freeÉ
but with my freedom comes a price i walk the earth a freak, an outcast
judged by those who say they know but i know their judgement can't last
only god knows i'm right or wrong so i must press on, i must be strong
day after day the questions burn in me...
Intruder
Where do i fit in, in this world, a being without a place to be
this solitude is crushing me...left for dead by so called friends
i think i'm where i'm to be this abstract life... reality
crucified on the floor i fall into the holes in my ceiling
like a fervid dance swaying wild like wheat torn by the wind
and tears wet my lips...sleep like death...forever 'till morn
to feel the way I do... i'm not allowed to be male
in the realm of the flesh i'm not allowed to be female
and each day the dance begins anew, out of control
i move through the world, neither...
low maintenance
Someone is hurting someone is bleeding somebody's crying someone's in need...
don't want to put ourselves out... don't want to be responsible...
just throw 'em away and get someone new someone with no problems
low maintenance is a good thing...
human refuse a waste of time a waste of flesh someone laughs
good for nothin' worthless slug take 'em out with the trash...
head case crack-pot hobo-clown nice clothes nice hair...
drowning in society's ignorance
when I don't fit into your neat little world just throw me away, and get someone new
someone with no problems low maintenance is a good thing...
dare i
hiding... behind this face... peering... sneering...
i live in here... no one knows me... dare i...
dare i show myself dare i bare my soul or do i die each day...
scraping... fighting for a hold on fingers bleeding...
dust and sweat and bitterness in my mouth...
broken... beg for healing... wait for deliverance
no one hears me... no one sees... dare i
dare i show myself dare i bare my soul or do i die each day...
god i'm lonely... clutching nothing... in this vaccuum...
like wisps of smoke... spirits fleeing... dare i
happy?
dragonfly hovering over the baking hood of my car
green skin glistening in the noonday
that i could entice you into the hole in my empty can
to hear the music of your cellophane wings buzzing
against the thin aluminum walls then release you
never to capture another
birds of the air flying in unison like pepper blown from
my palm mocking the very earth and all it's wingless
creatures that i might steal your song and joy for a moment
to patch the hole in my heart
beautiful trees with leaves dancing and waving in the wind
that i might borrow your sereneness to heal the chaos in my soul
bonehead
i want that cell block look my head says do not touch
want that aggresive sneer want to fit in so much
want to ink my body 'till i read like a comic
want to get high and mosh 'till i'm ready to vomit
you know my life's hard and hard's how i live
i show no mercy, i never forgive so don't try to tell me
that you have an opinion i'm hardcore to the bone
and hardcore's my dominion not the music or the
message i'm bound to heed i'm just having a good time
fulfilling a need...
flying elbows and gnashing teeth black and blue i get my relief
'cause that's all that matters, that reckless abandon
when the show's over and done my spirit is barren...
Sterno Jones
back in blackness, 'neath corrogated seaminess
crouching damp the fetid pools of sweat and filth
crusty fingers clutching bread crust and matches
and it slides down like snails in butter bloodstream shrieks, the madness of it all....
eat the bread, drink the wine, cut the ties one more time
no escape, except today there's a window
running over liquid dirt, numbing hurt washed away
just for a moment 'til darkness yields to light
sterno jones, aching bones, whore's on mones,
blessed tones, touching stones, distant groans...
the stars sure are cold tonight...
All lyrics ©1997-99 Robin Leigh. 842 music Not to be used without express written permission!