The Yankee Belle January 2002 Volume 3, Number 1 Tau Sigma Nu Epsilon Chapter a Flagship Chapter of Tri-Ess International P.0. Box 7681, Nashua, NH 03060-7681 http://www.geocities.com/tri_ess_ne/ Marcia Gray, Chairperson marciag52@hotmail.com Joy G., Editor joyg51@hotmail.com CALENDAR OF EVENTS Saturday, January 12, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, February 9, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting SWEETHEART APPRECIATION Amesbury Dinner Theatre Saturday, March 9, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, April 13, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, May 11, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, June 8, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting SPICE CONFERENCE Richmond Virginia July 10, 2002 through July 14, 2002 Saturday, July 13, 2002 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, August 10, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting FAMILY PICNIC Saturday, September 14, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Saturday, October 12, 2002 3:30PM – Board Meeting 4:00PM – General Meeting Chairing My Thoughts I'll be the first to admit that as I sit here writing on this last day of 2001, that I harbor a certain degree of trepidation about the passage of this old year into the new one. Once the clock strikes midnight, January 1, 2002, I officially become Chairperson of Tri-Ess New England and that is a somewhat daunting prospect. It's not daunting because I fear the position. It's daunting because I look back on the previous two years and I am filled with admiration at the accomplishments of this chapter and my predecessors in the Chair. Gerri and Kim have done remarkable jobs as Chairs and we all owe them a great debt. Gerri and Kim were among the founding members of TSNE and I am not. But for the work of our founders, I would not be blessed with the opportunity before me. I truly look on the prospect of chairing this organization as a blessing. Thanks to the existence of TSNE, I have had the opportunity to grow as the whole person I am. It has given me a safe haven and a safe place to be Marcia and not have to fear any lack of acceptance. It has given my wife and daughter a place to feel that their needs and wishes are not only heard, but also understood. In the coming months, you will see no radical changes in TSNE. I'm a great believer in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." How can you argue with being named a Flagship chapter for the first two years of our existence? Such accomplishments are attributable to the entire chapter and my predecessors have been blessed with wonderful support and assistance. I look forward to the prospect of making it a Flagship threepeat. Our SO group is one of the most active and dynamic of any chapter. With the prospect of hosting SPICE for 2003, I expect that they will become even more active. One of my goals is to increase the participation of the SOs in all facets of the chapter. Obviously, considering the presence of Joy and Sara on the Board, my orientation is strongly in the direction of family support. But I also don't want to forget our members who do not have an SO. I choose to look on TSNE as my extended family, a family with a whole lot of sisters and sometimes a bunch of brothers. Like all families, we may have disagreements every now and then. But like a family, we are held together with a bond of love and support. Continuing this is all I can ask for in the months to come. Marcia [CD] Minutes of the Last Meeting The meeting was called to order following dinner at the Holiday Inn on Saturday, December 15, 2001. Members of the Executive Board were introduced. All 2001 board members were present. Several of our guests introduced themselves to the group. Nominations committee chairperson, Kim, read the list of members nominated for election to the 2002 Executive Board. Vice Chair Gerri Buchanan [CD] Secretary Rhee [SO] Newsletter Editor Joy G. [SO] Activities Director Sara G. [CD Kid] Nominations were solicited from the floor. No new nominations were made and nominations were closed. The Secretary was directed to cast a white ballot and the newly elected board members were congratulated and thanked for their willingness to serve. They will join the following Executive Board members previously elected: Chairperson Marcia Gray [CD] Treasurer Valerie T. [SO] Director (Past Chairperson) Kim Gauthier [CD] Special recognition for outstanding service to the chapter (a first time award) was presented to Gerri Buchanan for the extensive time and effort spent over the last two years to organize and develop T.E.N.E. This award will be given annually and will be named the Gerri Buchanan Award. A motion was made to adjourn the meeting. The motion was seconded, voted on, and the meeting was adjourned. Respectively submitted, Lisa Woods [CD] Secretary, 2001 Many thanks and 'I say ye!' to the outgoing Executive Board members: Kim Gauthier [CD] Chairperson Marcia Gray [CD] Vice Chairperson Lisa Woods [CD] Secretary Valerie T. [SO] Treasurer Gerri Buchanan [CD] Director Sherri Chandonay [CD] Newsletter Editor Joy G. [SO] Editor ANOTHER BLONDE JOKE? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" TENE Holiday Party 2001 The third annual Tri Ess New England Holiday party was the largest yet, with 50 members, significant others and guests attending. Once again, the event was held in a private function room in the Salem, NH Holiday Inn, but this year the room was filled. Last year's party had 31 attendees, and the first party, in 1999, had 19 people, so the one thing that is evident is that TENE is growing! Once again the Holiday Inn and its staff did an excellent job in preparing the food and decorating our room and adjoining area. A waitress was present to fill drink orders, and cleanup was efficient as well. A few hiccups in the food preparation (missing serving utensils and salad dressing) did not deter from the quality and amount of food served. There was enough food for seconds for anyone who wanted some. The dessert choice of mousse ganache ended up being two choices, mousse and tiramisu, to the enjoyment of many! After the dinner a Yankee Swap was held. If you're not familiar with one, it's hard to describe, but it is basically a gift swap with each person able to choose from any of the gifts selected previously by others. It really can be a lot of fun as people vie for their favorite gift. Some people eye each gift carefully for future trading (especially one Yankee trader TENE member from Maine!) Once again this year makeup kits were a very popular item, and other gifts included a gift certificate, CDs (how appropriate), a makeup mirror and toiletries. Once again, we all owe Gerri Buchanan for all the hard work done in arranging this event. Next year's party looks to be bigger than ever, and we may have to move into the grand ballroom to accommodate our growing group. ~ MaryJane [CD] What Is First Event? By MaryJane Birch [CD] If you're new to Tri Ess, or to the New England area, you may be asking this very question - "What is First Event?". The Tiffany Club of New England hosts this annual event for crossdressers, transgendered individuals and their friends and family each January at a hotel in Woburn, Mass. [This year's event is scheduled for January 17th through January 20th at the Crowne Plaza in Woburn, MA.] Hundreds of people from all over the United States attend, some staying for the entire 4-day event, others for less time. Most attendees, including locals, stay at the hotel so that they are around for anything and everything that may go on. For those who wish to arrive early, Thursday is a get- acquainted day, with an informal "pool party". During the day on Friday there are seminars and lectures about many crossdressing and transgendered issues. There are also numerous vendors doing makeovers as well as selling makeup, wigs, dresses and jewelry. Friday night there is a buffet dinner/fashion show. Many local vendors who work with the community show their fashions with Tiffany Club members doing their best runway struts. After dinner some of the girls may go out to the local clubs to experience Boston's nightlife. They may go to Jacque's in Boston, Manrays in Cambridge or up to Friends Landing in Haverhill. Many of the girls will get together in someone's room, or go downstairs to the hotel's bar instead of clubbing, especially if it's a cold or snowy night. Saturday features more lectures and seminars during the day. An attendee can choose which programs they want to attend and skip those that are not in their interest. Some of the more adventurous ladies will go out to the local malls for a shopping trip, too. On Saturday night the banquet is held. Everyone dresses to the gills, with long ball gowns being the most common attire. Annual Tiffany Club awards are given out during the banquet and the dinner stretches out much later than the Friday night buffet. The all- night parties go on in many rooms later, too! On Sunday morning there is a "good-bye breakfast" where those leaving immediately must attend en drab, before saying goodbye to all their First Event friends. It is quite hard to describe the experience of being around so many other crossdressers at the same time. Think back to your first Tri Ess New England meeting and how amazed you felt that you were with 10 to 20 other people with your same crossdressing feelings - now multiply that feeling by 10! There are similar annual events held throughout the country, including Southern Comfort in Atlanta, and Tri Ess' Holiday En Femme and many people attend all of these events each year. For others, First Event is the one time each year they "come out of the closet" to be with people like themselves. Tri Ess N.E. Monthly Meeting Saturday, January 12, 2002 Salem, NH The doors should be unlocked and access to the church hall available at 3:00PM. There are rest rooms available in which to change. The Executive Board meeting will start promptly at 3:30PM. (Unless, of course, we get stuck in traffic somewhere between here and there.) The general membership meeting will begin around 4:00PM. Dinner this month will be Chinese take-out. We think a donation of $5 per person will allow the ordering of a wide variety of culinary delicacies to please all. If you have any special requests, talk to Lisa, our Hospitality Chairperson, who will make sure your request is noted. The meeting will be over by 8:00PM. Three Little Pigs or [The mind of a six year old is a wonderful thing!] One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of The Three Little Pigs to her class. When she came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home, she read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. Wives' and Crossdressers' Bill of Rights By Mary Frances & Jane Ellen Fairfax © 1998 - 2000 by The Society for the Second Self, Inc. A Wives' Bill of Rights by Mary Frances Fairfax. (First published in the Spring 1994 issue of the Sweetheart Connection) A Crossdressers' Bill of Rights by Jane Ellen Fairfax (Chair Tri-Ess Board of Directors) 1. We have the right to know about our husbands' cross- dressing, preferably before marriage, but certainly when our husbands begin to make crossdressing a significant factor in their lives and wish to contact support groups. 1. We have the right to expect our spouses to accept that our crossgendered side is an integral part of us that cannot be "cured" or "wished away." 2. We have the right to honest and open communication with our husbands, with negotiation and compromise on both sides, particularly in regard to allocation of family resources and in matters pertaining to telling our children. Old patterns of selfishness and deception must cease. 2. We have the right to make available educational literature for our spouses, suggest means by which they can talk with other spouses, suggest couples' counselors who provide a level playing field for both crossdresser and spouse, and otherwise encourage our spouses to educate themselves about crossdressing. 3. We have the right not be pushed to "accept" things before we have had time to learn enough about them and to begin to get used to them. 3. We have the right to reasonable outlets for our need for crossgender expression, subject to sensible limitations posed by job, family and social considerations. 4. We have the right to our husbands as men, the men we married, men who maintain a positive, healthy masculinity while "exploring their femininity" and seek neither to evade responsibilities nor to appropriate our own feminine roles. 4. We have the right to honest and open communication with our spouses, with negotiation and compromise on both sides, particularly in regard to acceptable outlets for cross- gender expression and in matters pertaining to telling our children. 5. We have the right to our husbands' masculine male bodies. Neither partner in a marriage has the right to alter body features without the full knowledge and consent of the other. 5. We have the right to freedom from guilt imposed from without or within. 6. We have the right to support groups for ourselves that promote our own personal growth and well being, help us understand our husbands' needs, and provide tools for relationship-building. 6. We have the right to belong to support groups that promote our own personal growth and well being, help us to understand our spouses' needs, and provide tools for relationship-building. 7. We have the right to support groups for our husbands that encourage their feminine development without denigrating healthy masculinity, that welcome us as full members on an equal basis with our husbands, and that fully support relationship commitments. 7. We have the right to support groups for our spouses that encourage mutuality, communication, and renewal of relationships. 8. We have the right not be mocked and demeaned by sexually explicit or otherwise offensive conversation, dress and behavior at group meetings. 8. We have the right to freedom from discrimination in jobs, housing, and public accommodations. 9. We have the right not to be pressured to attend group gatherings at public locations, nightclubs, or other places that pose security risks. 9. We have the right to be treated with dignity and respect by our spouses and families, and by society. 10. We have the right to be asked for our permission before our clothes, make-up, jewelry or other personal items are borrowed. 10. We have the right to be asked for our permission before our clothes, makeup, jewelry or personal items are borrowed. 11. We have the right to personal time in which to get in touch with our own femininity, pursue our personal growth and work on creative projects. 11. We have the right to personal time in which to get in touch with our own masculinity and femininity, pursue our personal growth, and work on creative projects. 12. We have the right to expect local, regional and national gender organizations and conventions to fully support and promote these rights in their programs and policies. 12. We have the right, and indeed, the responsibility, to contribute positively to our family, community and society while expressing our gender. Feeling Safe Since the tragic events of September 11, "feeling safe" has come to mean so much more than it ever meant before in this country. We now wonder if we are safe traveling in an airplane, or living in a large city, or even going to the mall or opening our mail. As crossdressers, we now must ask ourselves, "How safe do I feel doing these things dressed as a woman?" Our country's leaders have told us to go back to our normal lives, to travel, to continue living as we did before. This would appear to be the best advice for crossdressers, as well! If you shopped in malls, or traveled while cross-dressed before 9/11, do so again. Be forewarned, though, that people, in general, are more observant than they were. If you once blended into the crowd, that may not happen now as people look at others with a more critical eye, so you are more likely to be "read" than before. For those traveling by plane, the increased security at airports means longer waiting lines, more intense scrutiny of identification and thorough searching of baggage. For those who have flown cross dressed before, this should come as a no larger problem than for anyone else faced with these new security measures. On the other hand, if you haven't traveled this way before, this may not be the best time to start - ask yourself why you want to travel as a woman first. One of the most fun things you can do while cross- dressed is to go clothes shopping. Looking through the racks for that perfect blouse, holding up a sweater to see if it's the right size, hunting for lingerie while blending in with the other (female) shoppers gives you a feeling of belonging, so much more than shopping for the same things en drab. Once again, now you must realize that other shoppers may spot you for what you are as they observe their surroundings more closely. Remember that their reactions will not be any different than before 9/11 - unless you happen to look like bin Laden in drag! Many crossdressers choose not to go out in public dressed. They only feel safe when dressed among other crossdressers - that is why Tri Ess New England provides a place to change clothes and do makeup and be dressed every month at our meetings. The only people attending the meetings are crossdressers and their immediate family and friends, so this supplies a completely nonjudgmental atmosphere. The meeting location, a church in Salem, NH, has off-street parking, and no other people are using the church while our meetings take place, so this further enhances the "safeness". In short, feel safe, not afraid, ladies! ~ MaryJane [CD] THIS SPACE FOR RENT OR AT LEAST TEMPORARY USE X Is there a writer in you who would like to take a chance? Do you need to make an announcement? Do you have something you'd like to sell or buy? Have you heard a good joke lately? Please e-mail submissions to me at joyg51@hotmail.com We wish you a happy and healthy New Year.
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