The Yankee Belle
February 2002 Volume 3, Number 2
Tau Sigma Nu Epsilon Chapter

a Flagship Chapter of Tri-Ess International
P.0. Box 7681, Nashua, NH 03060-7681
http://www.geocities.com/tri_ess_ne/

Marcia Gray, Chairperson
marciag52@hotmail.com
Joy G., Editor
joyg51@hotmail.com

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Saturday, February 9, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

SWEETHEART APPRECIATION
Amesbury Dinner Theatre
Sunday, February 10, 2002
5:00PM Kiss Me Kate

Saturday, March 9, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

Saturday, April 13, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

SO LUNCHEON
Sturbridge, MA
Saturday, April 27, 2002

Saturday, May 11, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

Saturday, June 8, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

SPICE CONFERENCE
Richmond Virginia
July 10, 2002 through July 14, 2002

Saturday, July 13, 2002
4:00PM – General Meeting

Saturday, August 10, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

FAMILY PICNIC

Saturday, September 14, 2002
3:30PM – Board Meeting
4:00PM – General Meeting

Chairing My Thoughts

Fear
One of the things that I occasionally face is the dilemma of what to write
for each issue of The Belle. I had that problem back when I was writing as
editor and I'm now faced with it as Chairperson. As it happens, I was
driving in the car this week, worried that I didn't have a good idea and was
afraid of not coming up with one.

Last week, I had read the last book of the science fiction Dune series,
originally by Frank Herbert and continued by his son. In the world
created by the author is a group of reverend sisters called the Bene
Gesserit. Among the things they teach is a litany against fear that I
have recited to myself on numerous occasions:

"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-
death that brings total obliteration. I will face my
fear. I will permit it to pass over and through me. And
when it is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will
remain."

And just like that, I had my topic. As a cross-dresser, I have
experienced fear directly and indirectly related to the cross-
dressing at a number of levels. From talking to others I know that I
am not alone in this experience. Whether a fear has a rational basis
or not, it exists and that's the bottom line.

In my own experience, I feared that there was something wrong with
me. I mean, what "normal" man wants to dress in women's
clothing? I feared that I was the only person like this. (Okay. That
one falls into the irrational category, but I feared it.) I feared
that people around me would not understand that I needed to do this.

I feared that my family would reject me if they learned of this
terrible thing. I feared that if anyone found out I would be the
subject of ridicule and might even lose my job. I feared that I would
have to live by myself with this terrible secret for the rest of my
life. (Any of this sound familiar?)

Once my wife found out, I feared that we might not be able to work
through the issues. I feared that my daughter might not be able to cope
with the fact that her father wears women's clothing. I feared that if
people with whom my wife works find out, her job might be in
jeopardy. (Striking a familiar chord?)

And now that my immediate family knows and accepts, there is a whole
different set of fears but of a different kind. I fear not being
honest with them. I fear keeping secrets from them. I fear stepping
over boundaries that I may or may not know exist. But these are the
type of fears that help us live a healthy and rational existence.

These fears are like the fear of touching a hot stove or sticking or
poking at a beehive. There's a rational basis and the
consequences are clearly detrimental to the individual.

I have had the opportunity to help other crossdressers begin to deal
with the fears that I have experienced and dealt with as well as some that I
haven't experienced but know exist. I consider myself fortunate and blessed
to have a supportive family (and several close friends who also accept me)
and to have found and been accepted by organizations like Tri-Ess International
and Tri-Ess New England. And having passed through some fires and
continuing to pass through others, I count myself fortunate to be able to
extend a hand to others who need help with their fears. That is the true blessing
of our organization. The shared experience and collective wisdom enables us to
help our sisters in need.

Marcia Gray [CD]

The annual "Sweet Hearts Connection" will be a second trip to the Amesbury Playhouse
Dinner Theatre on Sunday, February 10, 2002 at 4:30 PM. This is an endrab affair, honoring the
lovely ladies that answer to the initials of "GG" and "SO". The show, "Never Too Late" is a
comedy performed by the Valley PLayers.

These actors and actresses are also the wait staff for your dinner. The Playhouse doors will
open at 4:30, Dinner will be served at 5:00, and the show will start at 6:30. The Playhouse offers
dinner and the show for $ 24 to $33. To reserve a seat(s) with the group, contact Jamie at
towle3629@aol.com, or 603-887-3629. There is also a Hotel and Theatre package offered by the
Fairfield Inn for $175 and by the Hampshire Inn for $180. Each package includes one night at
the hotel, dinner, the show, and a continental breakfast for two with all taxes and tips included.
For the Hotel and Theatre package, call the Playhouse 1-978-388-9444 or contact them on
line at amesburyplayhouse@yahoo.com. Advance payment is required.

Let Jamie know if you are going with the hotel package so he can arrange for your seating with the
group. The Playhouse will bill the guests individually or as couples or whatever. Dinner selections and
directions will be sent out later, we need to acquire a head count for seating right away.

ANOTHER BLONDE JOKE?

Finally a Barbie (the quintessential blonde) I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie
dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These seem to be a bit more realistic...

1. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts
off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-
egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

2. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors
(half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

3. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on
Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on
soft terry mules.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns.
Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin
Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

6. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her
personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new
red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking
Up Is Hard to Do."

7. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she
does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.
Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

8. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with
teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

9. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops
of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

10. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts
things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the
channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your
Inner Self" is included.

11. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

CD-KIDS BILL OF RIGHTS
FOR THOSE OF OUR CHILDREN WHO KNOW

1. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISCUSS THE SUBJECT OF CROSSDRESSING
OPENLY WITH THEIR PARENTS.

2. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE THEIR "DAD" (OR "MOM" IF FTM) WHEN NEEDED

3. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO SEEK THE SUPPORT OF THEIR PEERS THOUGH
SUCH RESOURCES AS THE CD-KIDS FORUM

4. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO BE PRESSURED INTO SEEING THEIR
PARENT CROSSDRESSED OR INTO GOING TO PUBLIC PLACES WITH HIM/HER.

5. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ASKED FOR PERMISSION BEFORE ANY OF
THEIR BELONGINGS ARE BORROWED.

6. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH TRANSGENDERED
ISSUES DURING THEIR TEENAGE FORMATION YEARS.

7. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ABLE TO BRING FRIENDS HOME WITHOUT FEAR
OF WHAT THEY MAY FIND.

8. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO EDUCATION AND LEARNING MATERIALS SUITABLE
FOR THEIR AGE AND MATURITY.

9. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY "NO" WITHOUT FEAR OR GUILT.

10. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE KIDS.

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

OR AT LEAST TEMPORARY USE
Please surprise us!

Is there a writer in you who would like to take a chance?
Do you need to make an announcement?
Do you have something you'd like to sell or buy?
Have you heard a good joke lately?

Please e-mail submissions to me at joyg51@hotmail.com

Tri Ess N.E. Monthly Meeting

Saturday, February 9, 2002
Salem, NH

The doors should be unlocked and access to the church hall available at 3:00PM. There are rest
rooms available in which to change.

The Executive Board meeting will start promptly at 3:30PM. (Unless, of course, we get stuck in
traffic somewhere between here and there.) The general membership meeting will begin
around 4:00PM. The discussion topic is still open for suggestions.

Dinner this month will be sandwiches. Kim and Gail are bringing meat platters. We need
members to bring rolls, salads, slaws, beverages, desserts, etc.
The meeting will be over by 8:00PM.

HERE'S THE DEAL! TENE meeting in Salem, NH on Sat Feb. 9, 3-8 PM, an evening at
Friends Landing in Haverhill, MA, stay at an inn or hotel nearby and attend the "Sweet Hearts
Connection" Feb. 10 at the Dinner Theatre.

How's that for a package of New England Hospitality?

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you
like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip
coming. - Alan, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE
ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they
seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD
HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use
them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks
like a truck. - Ricky, age 10

Choosing a Feminine Name

To the novice crossdresser, choosing a feminine
name can be as trying as deciding on an outfit to
wear for the first time out. This is, after all, the
name that one will have to be known as, from
that time onward when in feminine attire. Unlike
a legal name change, it can be changed just by
saying "my name is now ____", but once people
know you by one name it's very hard for them to
rename you in their minds.
Many crossdressers take the feminine version of
their given name, so "Steve" becomes
"Stephanie", "Michael" becomes "Michelle" or
"John" becomes "Jane". Some male names
don't lend themselves to feminization though, or
the feminine versions are too androgynous.
It's not unusual for CDs to want a feminine name
completely different from their male name - they
want something to reflect their new feminine
persona. The most obvious choices for names
are family members – the name of a favorite
aunt, or grandmother, or even a distant cousin.
It's also not unusual for a crossdresser to pick
the name of an admired movie star or famous
personality.
When choosing a name one must be careful not
to choose an "old fashioned" name – unless
that's the image wanted. Likewise, choosing a
name like "Madonna" or "Jewel" or "Britney"
should be avoided unless you envision yourself
as a young, svelte singer-type.
Asking friends who know your feminine side may
help, but ideally you want a name that YOU feel
comfortable with. Just think of someone saying
"Hey ______, can you bring that chair over
here?" using your name. Does it sound right to
your ears? Say, "Hi, I'm ______" a few times –
are you comfortable with it?
People have asked me how I thought of my
name. The sister of a friend had the name Mary
Jane, and her family all called her "MJ" as a
nickname. I thought this was perfect, as they
are my initials, too. It makes mail easy to get – I
hated signing for packages addressed to a
female name with my male name, so instead I
use the initials on catalog order forms. Before I
choose MaryJane I used a different name for
myself depending on which wig I was wearing!
When I wore a long red one I was "Ginger", an
auburn shag cut was "Amber", another one was
"Cyndi", etc.
Remember, no matter what name you end up
choosing for yourself, as Shakespeare said, "A
rose by any other name would smell as sweet".
MaryJane Birch

We wish you a Valentine's Day filled with friendship and love.

Highlights of the Last Meeting

The meeting was called to order at 4:00PM on
Saturday, January 12, 2002. Everyone in the
circle introduced himself or herself. Most 2002
board members were present. (Kim, we missed
you, sorry you couldn't make it. You too, Gail!) Many
guests were in attendance. Several subjects
were discussed. S.P.I.C.E. planning continues.
Circumstances dictate that the hotel to be
selected will be in the Hartford/Springfield area.
Ideas for chapter activities were solicited.
Anyone with ideas should contact Sara. There
was discussion about when to schedule the
Sweetheart's Connection and a date was
decided upon. Jane Ellen Fairfax sent her
congratulations to the membership for their hard
work and contributions towards our chapter
being named a flagship chapter for the second
year. Discussion followed regarding attendance
at meetings, membership status, and the need
to keep to the two meeting limit for non-
members to attend without joining the
organization. This gave rise to further
discussion regarding the establishment of a
"family membership" in the chapter. Since our
membership categories are modeled after
TriEss International's membership types, Gerri
agreed to take this suggestion/concern to the
national board members. Attendees were
reminded to forward newsletter contributions to
Joy. A contest was announced – DESIGN A
TENE LOGO – the winning submitter will receive
five free chances in the March 50/50 raffle.
Submissions/ideas should be sent to Marcia or
brought to the February meeting. SOs met
separately while the CDs talked about what the
chapter membership can do to support its single
members. Discussion groups were followed by
a smorgasbord of Chinese delights. The group
adjourned and several members went on to
party at Friend's Landing.

DRAGnet by Robin

Dum da dum dum… dum da dum dum DUMMMMM…
The story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to
protect the drab.

This is the city. Salem, New Hampshire. My femme name is Tuesday. I carry
a purse.

It was Saturday, December 29. It was sleeting in Portsmouth New Hampshire.
My partner is Gerri Buchannan. We were working outreach out of Tri-Ess New England.
Our job:
to meet with a closet crossdresser to educate him about support available to "her" from our
organization.

8:15 PM. We awaited the arrival of our prospect in the café at Barnes and
Noble. We were dressed as men.

Buchannan: How will we know her, Ruby?
Tuesday: I told her to wear something special.
Buchannan: What's that?
Tuesday: She said she would wear a white baseball cap with a red visor.

8:35 PM. A nervous man approached us, wearing a white cap with a red visor.
He was sweating and blushing bright red. He looked about 50.
Rhonda: Ruby Tuesday?
Tuesday: That's right. This is my partner, Gerri Buchannan. We're crossdressers.
Rhonda: Um… me too.

We proceeded to debrief the crossdresser. It was a story we had heard before…
furtive experiments with lingerie, embarrassed shopping trips, followed by purges
of the femme wardrobe, always to replace it.

She was one of us. We gave her the meeting information, and invited her to
join us for our regular monthly meeting. Fortunately, she had an accepting wife.
We would soon find out the limits of her acceptance.

Saturday, January 5th 2:00 PM. We received a desperate call for help from Rhonda.

Rhonda (on phone): I need help! I don't have a thing to wear to the meeting!
I don't know anything about make-up, either. I have some outfits, but my wife says she
won't let me out of the house in them.
Tuesday: We'll be right over.

Gerri and I got in my car and went to the home of Rhonda and Stephanie. It was
worse than we thought.
Rhonda had committed a 90028-6259-48DD: dressing like a cheap floozy.
Rhonda was wearing a tight leopard print tank top and a mini-skirt with seamed
stockings and 4" heels. Her wig was on sideways.
Her beard showed through her foundation as a blue haze. Her "breasts" were
two different sizes...
enormous, and even bigger than that. Worst of all, she was wearing more eye
make-up than Mimi Bobeck.

Stephanie: I want her to be able to go to the meeting, but not like this!
Is this how most of you dress in public?

Buchannan: No, ma'am. We can help.

Gerri and I got to work. We re-dressed Rhonda in a business suit her wife
lent her, with a silk blouse, a modest skirt and a jacket. We showed Rhonda how to
cover her beard (something I have to do several times a night when dressed) and
showed her how to put her wig on straight.

We helped her straighten out her makeshift breast forms, and reduced them to a plausible size.
Finally, we explained how to use cosmetics: although a wide variety of shades are available,
it is not necessary to use them all at once! We showed her how she looked in the mirror.

Rhonda: Oh my! I didn't know I could look like this. How can I thank you, Ruby?
Tuesday: One thing.
Rhonda: What's that?
Tuesday: Pass it on. Once you get comfortable with your femme self, meet with new girls.
Show them they're not alone. Help them find their femme selves. Tell them
they're not sick or weird, but that they have a special gift.
Rhonda: I will! Are you sure there's nothing else I can do for you?
Tuesday: There is one more thing.
Rhonda: Okay… what?
Tuesday: Stop dressing like J-Lo… Ma'am.
Rhonda: (Blushing) Okay. I will.
Stephanie: Thank you, Crossdresser Tuesday!
Tuesday: Any time.

A meeting was held later that afternoon at a secret location where Rhonda
and Stephanie were given support and understanding, from dozens of Tri-Ess sisters who had stories
much like their own. Rhonda is now serving a one year term as an officer of the Tri-Ess New England
chapter, and is planning to make good on her promise to reach out to crossdressers like herself.

TRI ESS NEW ENGLAND EXECUTIVE BOARD

Chairperson Marcia Gray [CD] marciag52@hotmail.com
Vice Chair Gerri Buchanan [CD] gerri_buchanan@yahoo.com
Secretary Rhee [SO] rhee1952@aol.com
Treasurer Valerie Wood [SO] elwood56@juno.com
Newsletter Editor Joy G. [SO] joyg51@hotmail.com
Activities Director Sara G. [CD Kid] abbi1229@hotmail.com
Director (Past Chair) Kim Gauthier [CD] dang@worldpath.net

Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/westhollywood/cafe/2818/docs

geocities.com/westhollywood/cafe/2818
geocities.com/westhollywood/cafe
geocities.com/westhollywood

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