Chapter 12
SHOPPING AGAIN
"Come on in," Joe called out. "I've been waiting for you."
Karen Simpson entered the house. She was taller than Joe by
about two inches. Joe was shorter since the change, but still felt
a little strange having to look up to a woman. At about five foot
eight or nine, he was still taller than most of them.
"I want you to meet Linda," Joe said, and walked down the hall
toward Linda's bedroom. Linda heard someone at the door too, and
met Joe as she left the bedroom. She now wore shorts, and a light
cotton top somewhat like Joe's.
"Linda," Joe said, "I'd like you to meet Karen Simpson. Karen
is a nurse, and she works for Dr. Hopkins, at Hillcrest. Karen,
this is my girl... my friend, Linda Mitchell."
Karen held her hand out, Linda took it, and shook hands with
Karen. "Pleased to meet you, Karen," Linda said, smiling.
"Joe has told me about you," Karen said. "We hope to help him
with this problem if we can."
"I've never heard of anything like this, have you?" Linda
asked.
"Well, no, I haven't," Karen said. "I don't think Dr. Hopkins
or Dr. Krell have either, but if anything can be done to make him
normal again, they'll find it."
"Linda, Karen and I are going over to the mall to get some
stuff I'll be needing if I've got to spend a couple of days away
from home," Joe said. "Are you sure you can't come along?" He
really did not mind that he and Karen would go alone. He felt that
Karen understood his feelings better than Linda ever could.
"No, you two just go ahead," Linda said. "I'm sure Karen can
help you find the things you need. I have to get this proposal
ready for the morning."
Joe checked his pockets. He had his driver's license, Master
Card, and American Express. That, with about twenty-five dollars
cash, would be enough. He was feeling better about shopping,
knowing that he could spend some money and not have to worry if he
was still employed or not.
"You better drive, if you will," he told Karen. "I'm worried
about getting stopped, with my license out of synch, such as it
is."
"No problem," Karen said. "It'll take a few days, maybe, but
I think Dr. Krell can get the paper work you need to change your
license, and other records, even your birth certificate."
Joe did not know about that. Did he want his birth certifi-
cate to show him as female? The thought of it, the first record of
his very existence, saying that he was a girl. Did he really want
that? Did he need that? He was not sure. He would have to talk
to Dr. Krell about it. If they did find a way to get him back, to
make him a man again, then he'd have to change all that stuff back
again. Of course, if that happened, it would be worth it. As they
drove out of Linda's drive, and down the street, Joe tried to
imagine the scenario.
He wakes up one morning, just like last Friday, but this time,
he looks down at his chest, his hairy chest, his broad, muscular,
flat chest. He reaches between his legs, and touches his penis and
scrotum. He's a man again. Instinctively, Joe reached up to touch
his chest, but instead of hard muscles, and hair, he still felt the
soft roundness of his breasts under the lightweight top.
Joe realized he actually felt relieved. Relieved? What did
that mean? What sort of game was his mind playing on him? He was
really a man, at least mentally, was not he? And yet, he could
hardly deny the feelings of satisfaction he experienced as he
touched his feminine softness. Was his head beginning to accept
the fact that his body was now female? Or had his brain also
become feminized, and he was to be left with only memories of his
former masculinity? Whatever was happening, Joe realized that the
change was starting to affect how he thought about himself. He was
beginning to feel more at ease with his changed body, but it seemed
he might be losing control of what HE wanted. It almost seemed
that he was developing another, a second almost FEMININE personali-
ty. Was it inevitable?
"Where do you want to stop first?" Karen asked. The sound of
her voice returned Joe from his thoughts.
"Gee, I don't know, exactly," Joe said. "I guess I need a bit
of almost everything. I probably have enough underwear, but that's
about it. What should I wear to Dr. Krell's office?"
"If you have the time, I have something at my apartment that
I'd like to show you," Karen suggested.
"Sure I think we have three hours till the stores close.
Unless you shop like Linda, that should be enough time," Joe said,
grinning at Karen.
"The stop at my place should only take a minute or two," Karen
said.
They drove quickly down the street toward the mall, but turned
down a side street a few miles before it. Karen then turned into
the parking area of a very nice complex. The apartments were more
like condos, with large attached garages. The area reeked of
money.
"This is where you live?" Joe asked.
"Yeah," Karen said. "I bought one of these, since I like to
keep my car in a garage I can lock. Enclosed garages are uncommon
around here, and I don't want to buy a house here in the Phoenix
area."
The garage door opened as Karen pressed a button on the
automatic transmitter. She drove in, and Joe followed Karen
inside.
Karen's apartment was a combination of fine, heavy furniture,
and filled bookshelves. Joe looked at the titles and saw that they
were mostly medical books, with a few biographies, and technical
paperbacks on computer related subjects.
"Nice place," Joe said.
"Thanks. I like it," Karen replied. "It reminds me of home.
Come into my bedroom. I have something I'd like to show you."
She went into her bedroom. Joe followed, and Karen went into
her large, walk-in closet. She came out almost immediately with a
wig on a Styrofoam stand. It was the same color as her own hair,
blonde, with a slightly brown cast. It was medium length, and a
slightly different style than Karen now wore.
"I want you to try this on," Karen said. "I know it's not
your color, but I'd like to see how you look without that GI
haircut."
Karen walked over to the dresser, and Joe obediently followed.
She stood behind Joe, and placed the hairpiece on his head. She
made sure that none of his own short hair was hanging out. As she
smoothed the hair in place, Joe watched his reflection in the
mirror. With longer hair, he could hardly recognize himself. The
new, smooth contours of his face, and the emphasis of his cheek-
bones by the hardly noticeable makeup, gave him a totally different
look.
As he stared at himself, trying to be detached, he could not
believe the change in his appearance. Without the short, male hair
style, practically nothing remained to remind him of his former
appearance. He raised a hand and touched his face, and then ran a
finger along his cheek. He could feel it all right, it WAS him in
the mirror. Karen's hairpiece had transformed his face, almost
like the other changes had transformed his body. "Unbelievable,"
was all he could say.
"I thought you might feel that way," Karen said. "You can
wear it if you like. I don't use it anymore."
"I would like to try it, if you don't mind," Joe said, as he
felt the hairpiece, and arranged the hair which completely covered
his ears.
"It isn't the right color, but it still looks good on you,"
Karen said. "I think that style would even look good with your own
hair, when it grows out."
Joe continued to gaze transfixed in the mirror, as Karen poked
through a little chest on her dresser.
"Try these," she said, and clipped some small gold disks on
Joe's ear lobes.
Joe felt Karen snap something on his ears. He looked in the
mirror, and saw small earrings protruding from under his new
longer locks. He did not like the way they felt, but had to admit
they did look appropriate.
"Unbelievable," he said again.
The image in the mirror was completely that of an attractive
young woman. Joe felt as if he was looking at somebody else. His
body image, already stretched to the limit, was now completely
overcome.
"I think you'll pass," Karen teased. "I've got something else
I think you might want to see." She walked out of the bedroom.
Joe followed Karen into the large living area. One wall was
completely covered with bookshelves. Karen went to the shelf, and
took a book down. She handed it to Joe. He looked at the cover.
"GENETICS AND SEX DETERMINATION" it said.
"You might scan this," Karen said. "It may give you some
insight on what might have happened to you, and maybe, what you can
expect. With the unique experiences you're having, you could even
be able to add to it."
She was right. It was possible that no one else on record
made such a complete transition. Whether he liked it or not, Joe
and his friends' situation would probably be one for the medical
books.
"Okay, I'll read up on it," Joe promised. He did want to
learn more about genetics and chromosomes. Biology was always
mildly interesting for him, but now the interest was much more
personal.
"I guess we better get going," Karen said. She took a small
purse, and began walking toward the door to the garage.
Joe went out with Karen, and they get into her car. The
garage door opened, and Karen backed her white sports car out.
They quickly drove the short distance to the mall, and parked.
They walked into the mall, and Karen went to a back-lighted diagram
showing the various stores.
"Where to?" she asked.
"I wish I knew," Joe said. He was not used to shopping for
women's clothes, and really did not like to do it.
"How about a skirt?" Karen suggested. "I saw that you hardly
have anything but dresses that look like they belong to an old
lady."
"What do you mean?" Joe objected. "My new stuff doesn't look
THAT bad."
"We can do better," Karen insisted. "Let's find something to
show your legs a little. You have a really nice figure too."
"I don't know. I really don't think I should get anything too
wild. Give me some time to get used to this," Joe begged.
"You're doing fine, and you look great. I think we'll find
some things that look good, and maybe you'll even like to wear
them," Karen repeated.
Together, they walked into Goldwater's. Joe could smell the
cosmetics that were displayed on the counters near the entrance.
They walked passed the glass and shining plastic, and then through
the hosiery section. Joe looked at the bottom half of mannequins
showing the different styles and colors of pantyhose. He thought
about his own limited experience wearing them, and realized that
from now until a way was found to return his masculinity, they
would probably be part of his wardrobe whenever he needed to dress
more than casually.
He considered how Linda had dressed that morning. That suit
was probably the feminine equivalent of what he normally wore to
work, except when flying, or working in the lab. He wondered what
the other engineers would think when, or if, he came to work
wearing stuff like that. They had a few secretaries, and adminis-
trative women in his section. Since he had worked there, there had
been no female engineers.
Joe and Karen walked into the clothing section. Down the
aisle, Joe spotted a light gray suit, with a gray silk blouse. His
first thought was how Linda would look in it, and then realized
that he should be thinking about what HE would look like wearing
it.
"I want to look at this," Joe told Karen, as they walked past
the outfit. They went into the racks of skirts, and jackets.
Immediately, a saleslady came to their assistance.
"Can I be of help?" she asked.
"Yes, I'd like to try on an outfit just like that one," Joe
said, pointing to the mannequin.
"What are your sizes?" the woman asked.
Joe told her, and she went to the racks, quickly selecting the
style and size Joe suggested.
"What type of blouse did you have in mind?" the lady ques-
tioned.
"Just like the dummy," Joe answered. He thought he told her
he wanted an outfit JUST like the one on display. He felt no
desire to experiment.
The woman looked at Joe. It appeared that she was not used to
a woman who knew exactly what she wanted, without wanting to search
the racks herself. Most unusual.
The woman retrieved a gray silk blouse, and took the hangers
of clothing back into the fitting area. She hung the items on a
hook in a small closet-sized room with a small couch. There really
was not enough room in the cubicle for Karen to stay with Joe, so
she stayed out, and sat on one of the chairs outside.
Joe looked at the clothes hanging on the wall. The silk
blouse was at the front, and he touched it, enjoying the soft,
smooth feel of the fabric. Of course, he had never worn anything
like this before.
Joe pulled the top he was wearing over his head. It was made
more difficult by the extra hair he now had when wearing Karen's
wig. He felt it snag on the earrings he wore. He laid the little
top on the couch, and took the blouse from the hanger. He
carefully placed his arms into the sleeves of the blouse, and
buttoned it. He only fumbled a little with the backward placement
of the buttons, and then did his best to tie the bow that was at
the neck. He had not expected the bow. The blouse fit well, and
the soft fabric followed his shape perfectly. He looked down, and
saw how the fabric almost flowed over the mounds of his new
breasts, and the way the glistening silk attractively emphasized
his form. Joe could not resist touching his chest, feeling his own
softness through the silk. He loved the sensation of feeling the
fluid silk from both sides.
Joe quickly removed his shorts, and tossed them next to the
top. He took the skirt, looked at it, and tried to decide how to
put it on. He decided to unzip the back, and step into it. That
seemed to work ok, and he tried to zip it up by reaching behind his
back. That was difficult, but the skirt was a little loose around
his waist, so Joe spun the skirt around so that the zipper was
almost at the front. He finished zipping it up, and then buttoned
the little tab. When it looked right, he spun the skirt back
around so that the zipper was aligned with his backbone.
The skirt felt a bit loose, but looked good. Joe removed the
jacket from the hanger, and easily slipped it over his silk-covered
arms. He wanted to look in the mirror. He pulled the hair out
from under the collar of the jacket, opened the door, and stepped
out. Karen was waiting for him and smiled widely when she saw him.
"You look great," she said.
Joe stepped to the three sided mirror, and looked at himself.
Again, he was amazed how different he looked with the hairpiece.
The suit looked good on his new shape, too. He was impressed with
his appearance. "I didn't ask to be like this," he thought, "but
I might as well look the best I can."
Joe looked at his legs in the mirror. He had left his shoes
in the cubicle, and his white Reebok athletic socks really did not
go with his outfit. He looked like one of those secretaries in the
city, who wore jogging shoes for the walk from the car or train
station, to their office. He walked over to the mannequin, to see
what else it was wearing. He saw that it wore sheer white hose.
He did not like that color much when Linda wore it.
"I don't like those white stockings," Joe said to Karen.
"That color is very popular," the saleswoman said, "but a
darker color would also look good."
"Get some sheer blue, or I've found dark sand to match my hair
color," Karen said.
"I'll take this stuff," Joe decided, "and I'm going to look
around some more." He was starting to get into this shopping
thing.
Joe looked at the other mannequins for ideas. The others were
either not suitable to his taste, or were too 'evening dress'
styled. He could not think of any place he would be going where he
would wear things like that. His taste leaned toward the tasteful,
conservative, business suit styles. Most of the dresses were far
too feminine for him. It was early spring, and most of the things
were summer styles.
"How about something like this?" Karen asked. "You can't wear
suits when you aren't at work. What if you want to dress up to go
out in your off time."
Karen pulled a sundress from the rack. It was sort of faded
red-orange, and had straps over the shoulders which crossed in
back. It had a slightly low top. It was tasteful, and sophisti-
cated. Joe liked it, but was not sure about the low cut top.
"Gee, Karen, I don't know. Isn't that a little breezy?" he
asked.
"No, it isn't. It's summer. You can't wear long sleeves all
summer," Karen insisted. "If you don't buy this, I might."
"Okay, okay, I'll try it on," Joe said.
He tried to sound like he did not like this task, but deep
inside, he was beginning to enjoy trying on these new things. As
a man, he usually shopped just to replace worn clothes, with little
thought to fashion, or style. Now, trying on new clothes was an
experience in textures, and feel. Women had such variety to select
from in color, style, and fabric. He was beginning to understand
why Linda loved to shop for clothes. Compared to buying men's
clothes, it was a most sensual occasion.
Joe took the red sundress from Karen, and walked back to the
fitting area. He entered the cubical, and hung it in the hook.
He removed his top again, and slipped out of his shorts. He took
the dress from the hanger, and pulled it over his head. Closing
the buttons at the back of the dress was a difficult process, but
he did it. He looked down at himself. The straps of the little
dress did not cover the shoulder straps of his bra. He tried to
tuck them under the dress straps the best he could, and went out to
look in the mirror.
He was inspecting himself in the mirror, as Karen came up
behind him. She touched his back, and snapped the strap of his
bra.
"You're going to have to do something about this," she said.
"You can either forget the bra entirely, or look for one of those
strapless, or crossover types."
Joe thought about it. Without a bra, he felt insecure, and
even more self conscious. When he thought about it, maybe he was
foolish to feel that way, but he realized, the new shape of his
body was more noticeable, to him, and probably everybody else too,
when he did not have one on.
"I'll look for one that works with this," Joe insisted.
He looked at himself in the three-sided mirror. He could not
deny that he really was attractive. He guessed that maybe, because
the change was so new, it did not seem that he was looking at
himself, but that he was seeing somebody else in the mirror.
Almost like he was INSIDE another person. The illusion was made
even more interesting by the fact that this other person was a very
attractive member of the opposite sex. The fact that he could
feel everything the other person felt made the experience almost
overwhelming. Maybe that was how he was able to cope, he consid-
ered. The only problem with the whole thing was, there was no way
to stop the illusion. He had to live it full time. That made it
difficult. If only he had the ability to change from his normal,
old appearance, to the illusion, at will. Then, this might be the
ultimate experience.
"I think you better get it," he heard Karen say. "You sure
seem to like it."
"Yeah, I guess I better," he answered, jolted back to reality
by her words.
Joe went back to the fitting room, and removed the sundress.
He slowly put his shorts and top back on. He took the clothes out
and gave them to the saleswoman.
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'll need some kind of slip or something, for the suit,
and I guess I should get another bra. One that doesn't stick out
of the sundress," he said, speaking more to himself than to her.
"I better get a purse, or handbag, or whatever you call it, too,
and I just have to buy a watch. My old one just falls off my wrist
now, and I can't get used to not wearing one."
The woman looked at him strangely. She began ringing up the
things, but kept her eye on Joe. She sensed that there was
something very unusual about this woman, but she could not place
it.
"The lingerie section is down this aisle, and to the left,"
she said carefully. "The better handbags are upstairs. Ladies'
watches can be found in the jewelry section, over there." She
pointed at another counter, two aisles away.
Joe noticed his words were unnerving the saleswoman. He was
becoming more confident now, and decided to play with her head a
little. He looked around. There was no one in the area but him,
Karen, and the saleslady. When she presented him with the bill, he
gave her his American Express card, and when he was finished
paying, he thanked the woman, then went over to the nearby mirror,
looked at himself critically, and took off the wig. The saleswom-
an, who never took her eyes off him, let out a noticeable gasp.
Joe smoothed his short hair, pretended to adjust his bra, and then,
carefully replaced the wig. He walked out of the saleswoman's
section without looking at the woman. Karen, who had been silently
watching what was happening, followed, trying her best not to
laugh. When they turned the corner, walking toward lingerie, she
spoke.
"Joe, I can't believe you did that," she said, laughing. "You
are simply unbelievable."
"You said it, didn't you?" Joe said. "If you got it, flaunt
it."
They went into the lingerie section, and Joe again began to
feel like out of place among the silky, feminine things hanging on
the racks, and hooks. But, he had always liked the look and feel
of these things on a woman, and now, it seemed, he was starting to
enjoy the feel of wearing them, too.
Joe tried to remember what he needed to buy, as he looked at
all the sexy things. He remembered that he needed something to
wear under the suit, as well as the skirts he already had. The
only other time he had worn a dress, he had borrowed a slip from
Linda. She called it a half-slip. Whatever it was, he needed one.
He went over to the rack where they were hanging, and took one. He
held it up to his waist, to see how long it was. He looked up, to
get Linda's opinion, when he saw a guy, who was probably self-
consciously waiting for his wife to try something on, watching him.
He began to blush.
Since he had begun to wear Karen's hairpiece, he had become
much more confident, probably because he looked so female, but his
confidence went out the window when he saw this stranger, who
surely suspected nothing, innocently watching him pick out a slip.
His heart began to pound, and he could feel sweat beginning to form
on his forehead. He took the slip, and went over to Karen, who was
looking at teddies.
"Did you find something already?" she asked.
"Yeah, I... I think I need this," Joe stuttered.
Karen could tell that something was wrong. She looked at him.
"What's the matter, Joe?" she asked. "Do you feel sick?"
"No... No, nothing like that," Joe whispered nervously. "I
just suddenly realized, again, that I'm really still a guy inside.
I don't know what I'm doing here. A guy over there is watching me.
I can't buy stuff like this with a guy watching."
"Joe, think about it," Karen said. "Look at yourself. Put
yourself in his place. He's just watching a good looking woman.
It's probably a little turn on for him, or something, just to watch
you, but there's no crime with that. You probably did it too.
There, look." Karen motioned at the man.
The man's wife came out of the fitting room, with a couple of
slips she had been trying on. The man began talking to her. He
was not even looking at Joe, or Karen.
"There, see? He didn't think you were a guy in drag, or
anything," Karen teased. "My God, Joe, you look more like a woman
than I do."
"Okay, I guess you're right. I'll try to hang in there," Joe
said.
A saleswoman, maybe twenty years old, came over to them. "Can
I be of assistance?" she asked. She saw the half slip Joe was
holding. "Did you want to buy that?"
"Well, I need a slip to wear under a suit," Joe said, hoping
he used the right terminology.
"Did you want a half, or a full slip?" the girl asked.
"I don't know," Joe answered honestly.
"Well, if you want a half-slip, you might also consider a
matching teddy," the young woman said. She was trained to suggest
items.
"I'd like to see the choices," Joe said. His confidence was
returning.
They walked back to the area where Joe had found the slip, and
the salesgirl pulled a white teddy, which matched the slip he still
held. The white nylon fabric had no lace, or decoration, but
looked silky, and sexy, just like Joe liked it. The crotch, which
closed with three little snaps, hung open. Joe just had to try it
on.
"Could I try it?" Joe asked.
"Certainly," the young woman answered. She handed Joe the
hanger containing the silky wisp of cloth.
Joe gave Karen the bags he was carrying, and took the slip and
teddy into the fitting room. This one was like the first women's
fitting room he had ever been in. The doors were really like
shutters. They did not go all the way to the floor or top of the
door opening. The middle part was just wooden slats, mounted like
louvers. The person inside could see over the door if they were
tall, and could even see through the slats of the door across the
aisle.
Joe hung the hangers on the hook provided, and began removing
his outer clothing. He started to remove his shorts, but had to
sit to pull his Reeboks off first. He did that, and when he stood
to pull his shorts off, he noticed a woman enter the cubicle across
from him. It made him think of the first morning, only four days
ago, when he came to the mall to buy some clothes, confused, and
almost scared to death. That's when he got his first view of a
woman, in an adjoining cubicle, also trying on undergarments. That
time, the strong male urge he still possessed, almost made his
heart explode. He was not yet used to seeing so much of his new
peer group.
As he continued to undress, Joe watched as the young woman in
the other cubicle removed her blouse. She carefully hung it on the
wall hook, and then unfastened the strap of her pink bra. She
removed it and tossed it on the padded seat. Through the wide gaps
in the door slats, Joe could see the woman's breasts.
He waited for the familiar feeling of his penis, that was what
it still felt like to him, swelling as it became aroused. That
would shortly be followed, since the change, by a somewhat
uncomfortable feeling of wetness, as his new vagina started to
lubricate and made the crotch of his underwear wet. He watched and
waited. There was nothing.
The woman scratched an itch on her left breast with her right
hand. The innocent action caused the breast to jiggle like Jello.
Joe tensed the muscles in his groin. Before, this scene would have
caused a pants ripping erection. Now, although the sight was still
interesting, he felt about the same excitement as if he was
watching his friend Jay change clothes next to him at the health
club. What was happening to him?
Concerned, Joe touched the crotch of his panties. They were
warm, maybe a little damp, they were always a little damp, but they
were not soaking wet, as they would have been on previous days.
Was he losing his old desire? Maybe, as Dr. Krell suspected, his
libido was enhanced by the extra testosterone, left over from when
his gonads were testicles. The ovaries he had now would, of
course, eventually cause his sex drive to change, and probably
become somewhat cyclic. If he was really female, it was probably
inevitable.
Joe gently stroked the smooth nylon that covered his soft
crotch. It felt good, not in an erotic way, but rather he liked
the slick feel of the fabric, which felt so different from the
cotton jockey shorts he had always wore before. He looked over at
the woman. As she placed her arms into the straps of the new bra,
Joe could see the outline of her bosom. "Her boobs are no bigger
than mine," he thought. "In fact, mine are better. No wonder she
doesn't turn me on. I'm getting used to seeing female anatomy every
time I look in the mirror." He went back to his task of trying on
his new underwear.
Joe pulled the teddy over his head and down his body. It was
silky and a bit loose around his chest, but below the light elastic
waistband, it was made of a stretchy, lycra fabric. He reached
between his legs, grabbed the little crotch strap, and snapped it
closed. There was no mirror in the cubicle, so he could not see
himself. He looked down, and was satisfied that it fit ok. He
grabbed the slip, and stepped into it. He really wanted to see
himself in a mirror, but that would have to wait. Satisfied, he
took the silky things off again.
That was when he remembered. He still needed to get a bra
without straps. He quickly put his shorts back on, and slipped the
top over his head. Joe decided that he would not need to take his
shoes off anymore, so he put them back on, and tied them. He
grabbed the silky items, and left the cubicle. He put them on the
counter by the cash register and went over to where Karen was
standing, casually looking at slips.
"What kind of bra do you think I should get?" he asked.
"What kind do you like?" she asked.
"I don't like a lot of lace, and stuff like that," he said.
He had always liked the simple, silky, sheer underthings better
than the lacy stuff, even when he did not have to wear them
himself.
They went over to the wall where all types, and colors of bras
were displayed, arranged by brand name. Karen went to the
Maidenform section, and selected a sheer cupped bra, with straps
which were convertible from crossover in back, to looping around
the neck like a swimsuit. It met Joe's requirement in that it had
no lace at all. The nude colored bra had cups so sheer they were
almost transparent.
"How about this?" she asked. "You wear a B cup, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Joe said. "I think I'm 34B." He took the
bra from Karen. He held the flimsy thing up. He saw the sheerness
of the cups, and grinned sheepishly as he looked at Karen. "Well,
this is about as seethrough as it gets, isn't it," he said,
grinning.
"It's underwear, Joe, you won't see it under your clothes,"
Karen said.
"Yeah, but I'll know it's there," Joe objected.
"That's the whole idea, isn't it?" Karen returned, and winked
at him.
He thought about it. She was right. The only reason for the
design of this little item was because it made a woman look good.
Maybe feel good too. He might as well get it. "Okay, I'll buy
it," he said simply.
"You better try it on," Karen suggested. "I don't know about
you, but I hate a bra that doesn't fit right."
"Okay, I'll try it, then," Joe said. He did not mind. He was
really wondering what he'd look like in it, anyway.
Again, Joe went back into the cubicle. He removed his top
again, and took of the white bra. The coolness of the air
conditioning quickly made his full nipples stiffen to little points
that reminded him of pencil erasers. He was always amused by the
way his new, larger, nipples reacted to sudden changes in tempera-
ture. Maybe they did the same thing when he was male, but they
were so small that he had never noticed, if they had. He was much
more aware of things like that since he became female.
He picked up the new bra. He looked at the straps, tangled as
they were. The convertible bra was configured to crossover in
back. That's probably what he wanted, he decided, so he left it
that way. It was a back close type, the first of that kind he had
ever tried on. He stuck his arms in the proper places in the
tangle of straps, and pulled the sheer cups to his breasts. He
reached behind his back and hooked the back strap without as much
difficulty as he thought he would have. The shoulder straps had
little adjustment clasps, and he adjusted them slightly. He felt
the cups, and decided that they fit him perfectly.
He looked down at his chest. His nipples and areolas were
plainly visible through the almost transparent fabric. It looked
awfully sexy, even to him. "Wearing tee-shirts was never like
this," he thought. It might be fun wearing this thing. Reluctant-
ly, he removed it, and put his other clothes back on.
Joe took the bra and put it with his other purchases on the
counter. He went over to Karen.
"It fits great," he said, grinning widely. "The darn thing's
almost seethrough too. I kinda like it."
"I just thought you might," Karen said knowingly.
"Can you think of anything else I need from this department?"
Joe asked Karen.
"Gee, I don't know what you might need, Joe. I think you have
all you were really short of, but is one slip enough?" she asked.
"Probably not. If I start back to work again, I guess I'll be
wearing stuff like this almost every day," Joe said. He was
beginning to look forward to wearing the things women seemed to
take for granted.
"Yeah, it's hell, isn't it," Karen teased. It was almost like
she understood what was going on in his head.
They went back to where the slips were displayed. Joe found a
full slip with a stretchy, fitted top bodice. He liked it
immediately. He located one in a silver/gray color, like the one
he borrowed from Linda. The brand name was Olga.
"I think I want this," he said.
"Well, I think you should get it, then," Karen said, in a
similar tone.
Joe took the slip to the counter, and took out his credit
card. As the girl was ringing up his latest purchases, he asked
Karen, "I still need a purse or something to carry stuff in. What
do you think I should get?"
"Let's go look at what they have," Karen answered. "You'll
need at least two types. One for outfits like that suit, and at
least one, something simpler, to use for every day. I have a
little clutch purse. It's big enough for money, and ID. It's
better than lugging a purse around all the time, too."
The salesgirl, who could hear their conversation, looked at
both of them curiously, but said nothing.
"I think I should get some shoes to go with the suit," Joe
went on. "I'm getting to like shopping for clothes, but I think I
still don't like trying on shoes. I can barely walk in even the
lowest heels."
"I think a simple black pump would be right for the suit,"
Karen said. "Maybe you should practice wearing them around home.
That's how I learned to walk in them."
The salesgirl, completely confused by the unusual conversation
of these two older women, was getting her register entries messed
up as she listened.
"Remind me to get a wristwatch, too," Joe continued. He was
lost in his own thoughts, and did not notice the girl's increasing-
ly obvious interest in their conversation. Karen did, though, and
she decided to spice up the conversation a bit.
"Yeah, your wrist is probably a lot smaller now," she said,
watching the girl's reaction.
Joe looked at Karen. He was surprised at her last statement,
but understood when he saw the way the girl was looking at Karen.
He might as well play along.
"The old one almost falls off my arm," he added, holding his
wrist. Of course, it was true. His large aviator's Seiko looked
strange, and far too large for his now feminine sized wrists and
hands.
He signed the ticket, and thanked the confused girl, who
looked like she would have loved to ask what they were talking
about. They left the lingerie section, and went to the jewelry
counter. Joe wanted a new watch. He needed one that would fit his
smaller wrist. He looked at the ladies' styles, not really finding
one that he liked, until he found a ladies' diver's watch, made by
Citizen. It was sort of like a miniature version of his aviator's
watch, with a sweep second hand, but small enough for his wrist.
He bought the watch, and then they walked to the department
that had purses, wallets, and all types of handbags. Karen helped
him pick out a couple of lower priced handbags, and also a better
one which matched his new suit. He also selected, at her sugges-
tion, a little clutch that he could use when he did not want to
take a purse. He knew he needed these things, but to him, they
were no substitute for a man's wallet, and pockets to carry it in.
They then went to the shoe department, and Joe found a type
which Karen said was perfect for his new suit. Joe tried them on,
and found the heels, which were lower than the other pairs he
bought the first day, were much easier to walk in. He bought them
from a salesman who hardly took his eyes from him, the whole time.
Joe felt the blood rush to his face whenever the guy was around.
He was a good looking man, but to Joe, who to this time had never
had so much obvious male attention, there was not any mutual
attraction. Joe tried to ignore the guy as he made small talk. He
hoped the guy would not push the issue since he had no idea how he
should react. They walked out of the store, and Karen could not
resist rubbing it in.
"That guy wanted your bod," she teased. "How do you like
being a sex object?"
"I don't know," Joe answered. "I guess I... I'm glad I don't
look like Dave, or Mike, but I sure am not ready to flirt with
men."
"You're doing fine, Joe," Karen advised. "You're doing just
fine."
They started to leave the department store, when the
upside-down mannequin legs reminded Joe that he should get some
pantyhose to match the clothes he just bought. He went over to
that section, and Karen followed.
"I hate wearing these things," he said to her. "It makes
taking a whiz an even bigger ordeal."
"It is more difficult while wearing them," Karen agreed. "Of
course, you could wear individual hose, if you like that better.
I have both, and they each have their own advantages. With short
skirts, pantyhose is the only way to go. You don't have any really
short skirts."
"Let's see what they have," Joe decided.
They looked at the various types, and colors, and Joe picked
out two pairs of stockings, the type that stay up by themselves,
with a light elastic around the top. He certainly did not want to
wear a garter belt.
They were leaving the store when Joe saw a rack containing
sunglasses. He always wore sunglasses when he flew in the
daylight, but his smaller features made his old ones hang at the
end of his nose. He went over to the rack, and started looking at
the smaller and women's types. He found finally found some
reasonably good ones that fit his size, and still did not look too
feminine for his personal taste. He bought them, and they left the
store.
As they were driving back to Joe's, or Linda's house, Joe
decided to tell Karen about the way he felt as he watched the woman
changing, back in the store.
"I don't understand it," he said. "Ever since the change, I
obviously look different, but my feelings about women, about sex,
have been the same as always. Sometimes, it's been uncomfortable,
almost embarrassing, for me. I was just starting to get used to
the way it feels like I'm peeing my pants when I get excited, and
that's been pretty often, too. It seemed like my underwear was
always wet. Linda could cause it to happen. Barb, my best friend
Jay's girl friend, she could cause it. It was just like I was
still a guy, but worse, since I now I'm allowed in women's dressing
rooms, and all that. Any guy would get worked up in that position,
and I did. But a while ago, while I was trying on that slip, I
could see a woman changing clothes in the compartment across the
aisle. I watched her try on underwear. Nothing. It didn't do a
thing for me. No hardon, no wetness. Nothing. It was like I was
watching Jay change clothes. What's happening to me? Did you
notice the same thing after you had your operation?"
"Gee Joe, I don't think you can compare my transition to yours
at all," Karen answered. "For me, it took years. I was on
hormones for almost two years before I had my reassignment surgery.
By then, I already had quite a bit of breast development, and I was
living as a woman full time. I wasn't sexually active, and I guess
I wasn't ready to accept men yet. I did like to be around women,
but I didn't really want sex with them. I think the hormones
caused that. After the surgery, I did wonder what sex with a guy
would be like, since now I had the right plumbing, but I didn't
really have a strong urge to try it. Even now, after I've done it
a few times, I can take it or leave it. I don't know if that's a
normal female reaction, or not, though. I do feel different, at
different times during the month. I have to take hormones every
month, for the rest of my life. I don't have a period, like a
genetic female, like you probably will, but I do experience hormone
induced mood swings, and changes in desire, very much like I would
if I had all the female internal organs. I just don't think my
experience is comparable to yours, though."
"I guess I don't have a lot of choice, if I'm really female
now," Joe concluded, "but it sure feels strange when the old turn
on's suddenly don't work anymore."
"Maybe you'll get new ones to compensate," Karen said,
grinning, and winking at him.
"That's a scary thought, too," he returned.
"If you're going to live as a woman, it would probably be for
the best, wouldn't it?" Karen asked logically.
"Yeah, I guess that's true, but I'm not sure what would be
worse, not ever making love to a woman again, or having sex with a
guy," Joe answered.
"Well, that depends on your point of view, doesn't it, and it
looks to me like yours has changed," Karen added.
"Yeah, it has. It sure has, at that," Joe said.
"You're doing great, Joe Bates," Karen said. "Just keep it
up. You might find you actually like your new point of view."
"Oh, I know," Joe said. "I already like some of the things
about being a woman. I actually enjoyed trying on clothes today.
I never thought I'd say that. I guess that's part of the change
too. I don't know. Everything feels and looks so good. I can't
describe it. If I could change back and forth at will, this whole
experience would be fantastic."
"Well, I think most women, and probably, most men, too, if
they could try it, would say that. Anyone who's been on both sides
would say that neither side is definitely better. They both have
some advantages," Karen agreed.
"You seem to have thought that the female side was better,"
Joe said.
"I always felt that I WAS female," Karen replied. "Changing
my body to match my head, even if it couldn't be a perfect
changeover, was worth the misery, I guess. Once you've done it,
you can't get back anyway. Not that I would want to even if I
could."
"I guess if I'm stuck like this, I'll manage, but if they find
a way to get me back, I'd take it in a minute," Joe said.
They drove back to Linda's house. Karen parked in the drive,
and helped Joe carry his bags and packages into the house. Linda
was sitting at the table in the breakfast area. "Well, you two
seem to have bought out the store," she said, as she saw them
enter. "Joe, the hair looks great," she added when she saw the
hairpiece Karen loaned him.
"I guess I have enough for the trip," he told Linda. "Karen
loaned me this." He touched the long hair with his hand.
She looked at him, and grinned.
"I bought a suit sort of like the one you wore this morning,"
Joe said.
"You liked it so much, you went out and bought one, huh?" she
said. "Starting to like this girl stuff, are you?"
"Well, I decided if I have to be one, I might as well be one
I'd like to look at," Joe teased back.
"You have to try it on and show us," Linda insisted.
"The suit is very nice, but you should see what Joe looks like
in this," Karen said, pulling the red sundress out of its bag.
"Oooh, I like that," Linda said. "I wonder if it will fit
me."
"Oh, sure. I get some new clothes, and already, my girlfriend
wants to borrow them," Joe kidded.
"You've got to try them both on," Linda insisted again. "Get
in there, and change."
"Okay, okay, I will, if you insist," Joe said, trying to sound
like he did not want to, but he was anxious to try it all on again.
"What's happening to me?" he wondered again.
He took the bag containing the suit and the silk top while
Linda and Karen took the rest of the packages into his room. They
laid it all on his bed. He stood there a little embarrassed while
they waited for him to try it all on. "What the hell," he thought.
"They both know what I look like all over." He pulled his top over
his head, and tossed it on the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed,
and pulled off the Reeboks and the sweat socks. He unfastened his
shorts, stood and stepped out of them.
"Try the sundress first," Linda asked. "I just love it."
Joe looked at the little red dress. He remembered that the
straps did not hide the straps of his bra, so he unsnapped the hook
between the cups, and took it off. He dug into one of the bags
until he found the one with the crisscross straps. He quickly put
it on, realizing that both of the women were watching him intently.
He looked at Karen, but she just looked back with her usual big
grin. Linda's eyes were fixed on the almost transparent cups of
the new bra. Self conscious, he pulled his panties up snug, and
grabbed the little red dress from the bed. He put it over his
head, and Linda helped him fasten the buttons at the back. He had
done that for her a few times, but she had never done it for him,
until now. Then, Karen and Linda both stood back, and critically
eyed him.
"Joe, you're gorgeous," Linda said. "For somebody who still
feels like a guy, you sure look fantastic as a woman."
"I'm doing my best with what I've got," Joe said. Awkwardly,
he turned about, trying to act, the best he could, like a clothes
model, as he remembered them. He was experiencing an unusual
combination of embarrassment and pride.
"You look so different, with the different hair" Linda said.
"It really looks good."
"Okay, try the suit on," Karen said. "If I'm going to San
Diego with you tomorrow I've go to go home and get ready too."
Joe reluctantly unbuttoned the red dress, and pulled it over
his head. He really liked the way he looked in it. He put it on
a hanger and hung it on the door hook. He went to the bed and took
the silk top, and pulled it over his head. As he awkwardly tied
the bow, he spoke.
"It's almost worth it to go through all this just to be able
to wear this," he said, and rubbed his breasts with both hands,
through the silky fabric.
"Control yourself, you dirty old man," Linda teased. "We're
not here to watch you feel yourself up."
Joe winked at her, and took the skirt from the bed, and
stepped into it. As he did before, he spun it around, zipped it,
and buttoned the tab. Then he spun it so that the zipper was in
the back. Unlike the fullness of the bottom of the sundress, the
suit had a straight skirt that felt much different. Although the
waist band was loose, the hips were more form fitting. He turned
around once, so they could see what he looked like, and then put
the jacket on. He pulled his hair out of the neck of the jacket,
and again turned around slowly.
"Well, what do you think?" he asked to no one in particular.
"You look great," Karen said.
"Yeah, fantastic," Linda agreed. "What else did you get?"
"Oh, just some more underwear, slips and stuff like that," Joe
said.
Linda went over to the bed and started looking into the rest
of the bags. She pulled out the slip and the teddy, and held them
up.
"You really took me up on my suggestion, didn't you?" Linda
asked.
"I had to get something, and I know what I like when I see you
wear it, so why not? Yeah, I guess I did," Joe answered.
"You look just great," Linda said again. "It would almost be
a shame if they can change you back." Joe wondered if she was
really teasing, or if she meant it.
"Well, I've got to get going," Karen said. "I have some
laundry to do before I go to bed. I'll see you at the hanger at
six in the morning?"
"Yeah, that's about it," Joe answered. "I think we can make
Lindberg Field in about two, two plus thirty, depending on the
winds."
"Ok, see you in the morning," Karen said.
"Bye, and thanks a lot," Joe said. He hated to see her leave.
"Pleased to meet you, Karen. Come by anytime," Linda called.
"You'll be seeing more of me, I'm sure," she called back.
When Karen left, Joe went back into his room. He took off the
suit, and was standing in his underwear, trying to figure out what
things he should take along, when Linda came through the half open
door to his room.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
"Sure, you know you're always welcome," Joe replied.
Linda came up behind him, and put her arms around him. He
took one of her hands and kissed it. She put her other hand on one
of his breasts, and pinched the nipple lightly, through the thin
fabric of the bra. Feeling the slight pain, Joe spun around
quickly. He took her in his arms, and kissed her on the lips. It
was pleasant, she was so soft, and she smelled great, but it was
not the old zing that he always felt before, when he had Linda in
his arms. He tried to show the same enthusiasm as always but it
was difficult. He was beginning to think of Linda as a friend, as
a buddy, not as a lover. No matter how sexy he thought she was,
she was not making his juices flow anymore. What was happening?
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