Chapter 14
THERAPY
Joe had only been sitting for a moment when the assistant came
back into the room and asked Joe to follow her. She took him to
the open door of an office, where Joe saw Dr. Krell, seated behind
his desk. He motioned for Joe to come inside.
Joe entered the office, and sat. Dr. Benjamin Krell was a
small, friendly looking man, perhaps sixty years of age. He smiled
when he saw Joe, and motioned for him to take a seat.
"You're looking splendid, Joe. I hope you had a good flight,"
he said.
"Yes, we did. Karen flew the whole trip. She's a good pilot,
and I think she has re-caught the flying bug," Joe said, grinning.
"Karen is a remarkable person," the little doctor said. "Do
you know she probably has as much research experience in the area
of Gender Dysphoria as anyone? She soaks it up like a sponge."
"We get along rather well," Joe said. "She seems almost to
know what I'm thinking sometimes."
"I thought you both might hit it off, from the first moment I
met you," Dr. Krell agreed.
"What's on the agenda today?" Joe asked, eager to find out
what the day would bring.
"Well," Dr. Krell explained, "there is a lot of paper work for
you complete, and I believe we have more physical examinations, by
my staff, in store for you. I hope we can get all three of you
completed today, but it may run over to tomorrow. I also have a
short class I want you all to attend, regarding the care of your
changed body. It was created for my reassignment patients, but I
really think you would benefit from it too. Susan, the nurse who
conducts it, might not be available until tomorrow, though."
"We were all expecting two days here," Joe said. "Another
physical, huh." He expected it, but did not look forward to it.
"I'm sorry, Joe," Dr. Krell said, "but it's really necessary
for us to know, in complete detail, the extent of the changes
you've gone through. At the same time, we're waiting for the lab
reports to come back, with the results of hair samples we took on
all of you."
"What do you expect that to show?" Joe asked.
"I'm not really sure," Dr. Krell answered. "I believe that
all your living cells have been changed, but the others, your hair,
and finger nails, might still have the old chromosome pattern. I'm
curious to see the results of that. It may be like rings in a tree
trunk, and we can use that to spot the exact time your change
transpired."
"So you think it happened instantaneously?" Joe asked. "One
moment I was a guy, the next I was like this?"
"I don't know, Joe. What do you think?" Dr. Krell asked.
"Well, I don't know about the initial physical change," Joe
answered. "I guess I was sleeping when that occurred, but I think
I'm still changing. I'm almost sure I am, mentally. I can't
explain it. I... I... Sometimes I just start to cry, and feel
sorry for myself. I never did that, but now.... I don't know.
Mostly though, I feel great. Generally, I think I feel better than
I can ever remember. It's a good feeling, actually." Joe tried to
describe the strange emotions which were now affecting him.
"Are there... Do you think there are still physical changes
taking place?" Dr. Krell questioned.
"I'm not sure. If they are, they're subtle," Joe said,
rubbing the softness of his left breast. "Sometimes, I think that
my skin is still getting softer. Maybe I'm just getting used to
having breasts, but they don't feel quite as sensitive as they were
at first. They're still pretty sensitive, though."
"Have you noticed any unusual discharge? Anything unusual
about your genitalia?" Dr. Krell went on.
"Gee, doc. I've only been like this five days," Joe replied.
"Every thing seems unusual. I don't know. I did notice some blood
on my underwear last night. I think that was from the examination
yesterday, though. It felt like you stretched me, or cut some-
thing, down there." Joe had a sheepish smile on his face as he
spoke.
"Well, I'm assuming you were active sexually as a male," Dr.
Krell explained, "but it's obvious that, since you've become female
you are not. You have a hymen, that's a bit of membrane, or skin,
that partially closes the vaginal orifice. Your's is intact, and
quite thick, and strong. It's the thickest I've seen. I suspect
that's because of your age, and the circumstances under which you
acquired it." He smiled.
"Would I have any trouble with intercourse?" Joe asked. He
felt a slight flush of embarrassed come to his face as he asked.
"Are you considering becoming sexually active?" Dr. Krell
asked, not particularly surprised.
"Oh, no. I don't think so, at least not now, anyway," Joe
stammered.
"Well, when the time comes, and don't be surprised if it does,
I don't think you'll have any trouble with your hymen," Dr. Krell
advised, smiling. "You'll probably be undergoing a number of
examinations in the near future, and that will probably stretch it,
at least a little more. We'll try not to tear it. By the way,
it's normal to experience a little pain the first time a female has
sexual intercourse. I've been told it subsides quickly, so don't
be concerned about it."
"I can't believe I'm even thinking about stuff like this," Joe
said. "Yesterday, I wouldn't have considered even asking about
it."
"If you're going to live as a woman, as healthy, and I might
add, attractive as you are," Dr. Krell said, "it will probably only
be a matter of time before such an opportunity presents itself.
You would be doing yourself a disservice to ignore the possibili-
ty."
"I'm trying to keep an open mind," Joe said, "and it seems
that even that keeps changing."
"It is a woman's prerogative, isn't it," Dr. Krell teased.
"Don't forget though, if you do decide to become sexually active,
be sure to use some form of contraception. Unfortunately, that
isn't part of the normal hygiene class, since that isn't a concern
with reassignment patients. I'll remind Susan to cover that for
you, but be sure to ask, if she forgets."
"What would you recommend as a contraceptive, for someone who
was sexually active, that is," Joe asked shyly.
Dr. Krell grinned, saying, "For someone who was thinking of
becoming sexually active... For a mature, thirty year old female,
I would recommend her partner use a good condom, backed up with a
contraceptive jelly, or foam. She could be fitted with a dia-
phragm, but of course, that would be easier after her hymen was
broken."
Joe looked the little man in the eye. "I'll keep that in
mind," he said. He noticed Dr. Krell was beginning to refer to him
as a "she."
"Tell it to me straight, doc. Am I ever going to be male
again?" Joe asked.
"Unless we can somehow reverse whatever happened, and we don't
even know what that is," the doctor said, "I think it's unlikely
that you will ever have a normal male body again. That's the way
it looks to me. I suggest you try to get accustomed to what you
have now. If we can get you back, it won't make any difference,
and if we can't, well, you seem to be doing pretty well." Dr.
Krell smiled at Joe.
"I admit it is getting easier, as time passes," Joe agreed.
"I guess I can do it, if I must."
"I think we should schedule you for some therapy," Dr. Krell
suggested. "It could help you cope with the changes."
"Do you think the changes could be affecting my head... the
way I think?" Joe questioned. "I'm not sure, but I seem to feel
different now, about so many things. I think my brain is changing.
I have trouble maintaining concentration. About women, my
girlfriend, I don't seem to feel the same there anymore. Could the
changes cause that?"
"Yes, it's possible, I suppose," the doctor answered. "There
is still a lot to be learned about the differences between the
sexes, besides just the anatomical differences. What has happened
to you and your friends, may help to expand the present knowledge
in this area."
"I have always enjoyed expanding the limits of technology,"
Joe lamented, "but don't think I really want to expand my interest
to medicine, at least not like this."
"I realize that this is difficult for you," Dr. Krell said,
"but you'll have to play the cards you're dealt. We'll do
everything we can to make the problems you face as small as
possible."
"I appreciate everything you're doing for me, and for the
others. It's amazing how quickly everything fell into place," Joe
said.
"When we got the call for assistance from Hillcrest," Dr.
Krell explained, "everyone here jumped at the chance to work with
your problem. It's like a wish come true for a genetics research-
er. Someone who has actually changed their genetic sex. Amazing!"
His voice rose as he spoke.
"Yeah, it's amazing all right," Joe said, "and it feels
strange too." He smiled.
"Well, let's see what we can do for that," the doctor went on.
"For you the first thing this morning will be another pelvic
examination. We'd like to take some photos, so we can study them
without needing to have you around all the time. It shouldn't take
too long."
"Pictures, huh," Joe said, sort of thinking out loud. He
never thought he would be the subject of pictures, even if it was
for medical purposes.
"Don't be concerned, Joe," the doctor advised. "The photogra-
phy will only take a moment, and just be part of the examination.
We sometimes video tape entire surgical procedures. They are
excellent teaching aids, and are never used for anything else."
"I'm not worried about that," Joe said. Actually, he was, a
little. He trusted Dr. Krell, but he could imagine how tapes, or
pictures, might be used by medical students.
"If you're ready, I'll take you to the examination room," Dr.
Krell said, getting up from behind his desk.
"I guess I am," Joe said, standing up and smoothing his skirt.
It seemed his slip had suddenly been charged with static electrici-
ty, and he could feel it clinging around his nylon stockings.
Joe followed Dr. Krell out of his office, and down the hall.
Dr. Krell's clinic was not huge, but from what Joe could determine,
it had at least six examination rooms. The doctor entered one that
had an open door, and pointed to a fresh gown, as before, made of
a disposable paper material. He left the room.
Joe looked around the room. In the center was an examination
table almost identical to the room yesterday. Joe saw the little
stirrups on the side. In a cabinet with glass doors by the wall,
Joe could see the gynecologist's tools of his trade. He saw the
speculum, and all the other things used during examinations. His
crotch muscles tightened, as he thought about the examination just
yesterday.
Joe hung his suit jacket on a hanger provided, and sat in a
chair to remove his shoes. He unbuttoned and unzipped his skirt,
and stepped out of it. He lay the skirt over the back of the
chair, and then unbuttoned his blouse. When he took that off, he
carefully placed it on another hangar. He then reached down and
pulled the full slip over his head, laying it on top of the skirt.
He suddenly felt remarkably sexy, standing there in a bra,
black bikini panties, and silky nylon stockings. He unhooked the
bra, and slipped it off, the cool air on his now bare breasts
causing him cover them with his hands. He had to remove his
stockings, and decided to sit on the edge of the paper covered
table to do that. When he had them off, and carefully placed on
top of his slip, he then pulled the panties off. He took the paper
gown and put it around him, thankful for even the minimal coverage
it provided. He remembered the hairpiece. Did he need to remove
it? He decided he had better, and placed on top of his slip. His
short hair now felt strange. He was getting accustomed to the
longer length of the wig touching his ears and neck.
Joe then sat on the table, waiting for whatever was to happen
next. He must have been sitting in apprehension for only five
minutes, when Dr. Krell and two other men with white lab coats
entered the room, accompanied by the nurse who had initially
brought Joe into the first room.
Dr. Krell introduced the men to a highly embarrassed Joe
Bates.
"Joe, this is Dr. Tom Craig," Dr. Krell said. "He's our staff
Urologist."
Dr. Craig smiled, and extended his hand to Joe. "Glad to meet
you, Joe," he said.
"And this is Dr. David Benedict. Dave's our gynecologist,"
Dr. Krell continued.
Dave also held out his hand. "I hope we can help you out,
Joe," he said. "Your situation is most interesting."
"I hope you can, too," Joe said, with a smile. It was hard to
feel like an equal, when you were wearing a paper shirt that did
not even quite cover your butt, while everyone else in the room was
completely dressed. The fact that they were doctors did not really
help at all.
"Well, I guess we best get on with it," Dr. Krell said, to
break the slight tension. "Joe, would you remove the gown please?"
Joe could feel the blood rush to his cheeks as he unfastened
the little Velcro fasteners at his neck. He pulled his arms out of
the short, paper gown, and handed it to the attending nurse. He
stood before the doctors, completely naked, his heart pounding.
"Amazing," Dr. Benedict said. "He appears completely
feminized, and you say he woke up this way, transformed overnight?"
The doctor seemed to be talking to the others, as if Joe was
incapable of answering for himself.
"I examined him. If I had not been already been told
otherwise, I never would have known he had been male," Dr. Krell
said. "The only anomaly I can find is some scar tissue around the
clitoris. My theory is that it's residual trauma caused by
circumcision of the penis. He confirmed that he had been circum-
cised as an infant."
"Interesting," Dr. Craig said. "We can confirm a number of
theories while studying this patient. I believe this is the first
recorded spontaneous, human gynecomorph. I hope we can learn what
caused it."
"I sure hope you can, too," Joe volunteered. He did not like
the way he was being treated like a lab animal, unable to under-
stand what was going on.
"Oh, I'm sorry Joe. We're so excited by this opportunity to
study your case that I'm afraid we get carried away," Dr. Benedict
apologized.
"I understand," Joe said. "Just try to remember that I'm
here, and I think I'm still capable of understanding the English
language."
"Understood," Dr. Craig added. "Just remind us, if we seem to
get off track."
"Joe, I have an illustration I'd like to show you," Dr. Craig
said, handing him what looked like a page copied from an anatomy
textbook. Joe immediately recognized the drawing. It was that of
the male genitalia, and it had each individual part listed with its
anatomical name, with a small arrow pointing to it. Joe wondered
what it was for. "These are the male external reproductive
organs," Dr. Craig went on. "I believe you recognize them."
"Sure, but what's it for?" Joe asked.
"I'm going to take this small tool, and touch you with it.
When you can feel the touch, I'd like you to tell me where it feels
like I'm touching you. Please use the illustration to name the
locations," Dr. Craig explained, holding out a small, pointed,
stainless steel probe. "We're trying to confirm the corresponding
nerve endings, as they were, and as they are now."
"Okay, that seems easy enough," Joe said. He wondered how far
inside him they were going to put the pointer.
"Please get up on the table, Joe," Dr. Craig asked. "You can
put the gown back on."
The assistant handed Joe the paper gown. He slipped his arms
in the holes and fastened the Velcro fastener at his back. He sat
on the table, and then lay back as the assistant adjusted the table
to support his upper back and head. She then covered Joe's lower
body with a green surgical drape, and positioned the stirrups so
that he could put his feet in them, spreading his legs apart as he
did.
He was now in position, and he felt the coolness as the
doctors pulled the drape away from his bottom. As before, the
drape kept him from seeing what the doctors were doing. The
assistant handed Joe the illustration. He lay there, and looked at
the drawing. He saw the penis. It was further defined as the
glans, dorsum, and prepuce. The scrotum was also shown in detail,
including even a little cutaway showing the layers of skin. He had
never realized that the male anatomy was that complex, and now he
did not even look like that anymore.
Suddenly, Joe felt a hand on his pubic area. Two cool fingers
spread his soft inner lips. He could feel his crotch muscles
contract, as if they were trying to keep that most sensitive area
concealed. He felt a finger touch his clitoris, and heard Dr.
Krell speak.
"As you can see, the prepuce is mostly absent, but this
scarring is probably what remains of where it emanated," the
friendly doctor was saying.
"Okay, Joe. As I touch you, please call out what area it
seems like I'm touching. If you can't give me a corresponding
location, try to tell me the closest equivalent," Dr. Craig said.
Joe could feel the pointed probe. It felt as if it was softly
rubbing along the bottom of his penis. He called that out.
The probe moved down, now feeling as if near the base of his
penis. He told Dr. Craig that, not finding a name on the illustra-
tion for it.
The tickling sensation went lower, toward his scrotum. He
tensed his muscles there, as if to draw the sack tighter, and felt
the somewhat different sensation of his vaginal sphincter closing
tighter. The new parts were similar, but they did not feel EXACTLY
the same. He told Dr. Craig he was now touching his scrotum.
He felt the probe move back up, it seemed along the top side
of his penis. He wondered where Dr. Craig was touching. He could
not remember feeling that area since the change. He told Dr.
Craig.
"It feels like you're rubbing the top of my penis now," Joe
said. "Just where are you actually touching?"
"I'm touching the area dissecting your labia minora, and labia
majora," Dr. Craig explained, "between your inner and outer vulval
lips."
"Amazing," Joe thought. It felt just like it was touching the
top of his penis.
The moving touch kept going, seeming to go to the head of his
penis, but now it was now on very sensitive area, far more
sensitive than he could ever remember his penis to be. He called
out.
"Your touching the glans, I think," Joe said. "I can't tell
if you're on top or on the bottom. It's kind of sensitive there."
It tickled, and he wanted to move his pelvis around.
"I'm near the clitoris," Dr. Craig explained. "I realize it
must be a bit sensitive."
"You got that right," Joe said, closing his eyes and trying
his best to resist the urge to move his hips. The tickling
sensation was starting to feel rather pleasant.
Then the tickling stopped. Opening his eyes, Joe could see
Dr. Benedict preparing a small camera. He disappeared behind the
drape, and soon the room blinked with the flashing of the camera.
Joe just lay there, eyes closed, embarrassed, as they photographed
his private parts. It was not exactly like posing for Playboy, he
thought.
Joe momentarily opened his eyes, he saw Dr. Benedict retrieve
a small speculum from the glass cabinet. Here it comes, he
thought.
Soon, he could feel touching around his genitals again. He
felt his lips get pulled apart, and something hard touch him. It
moved around a little, and then he felt it seem to slide along his
opening. He could sense that it was inside of him. Strange, he
thought, I can't really feel it in there, but I can sure tell it's
there. He could feel it stretching his opening, and where it
touched the outer parts. He was just beginning to try to imagine
what it would feel like to have a guy's penis inside him, when he
felt the somewhat painful sensation of the speculum spreading open.
It hurt, but not as bad as the last time. He put his hand to his
mouth, and bit down on his thumb.
Joe felt the speculum move around inside him, and saw the
flash of the camera. Before long, the speculum was collapsed and
withdrawn. When it was out, Joe had an intense urge to rub his
crotch, but he did not want to put his hands under the drape, and
did not want these guys to see him do it.
"I think that will be enough for now," Joe heard Dr. Benedict
say. "You can get dressed."
"That wasn't so bad," Joe thought. He sat up, and pulled his
legs out the stirrups with the help of the assistant.
"We'll see you in a few minutes, Joe," Dr. Krell said as the
three doctors left the room.
Joe reached down and carefully massaged the tender tissues of
his crotch.
The assistant saw what he was doing, and smiled. "Here are
some towels. They'll help a little," she said, seeming to know
what he was feeling.
"Thanks," Joe replied. "I'm still getting used to this."
"I don't think you ever get used to it," the woman said.
Joe cleaned the small amount of lubricating jelly from his
vulva. He looked at the towel. There was no sign of blood. It
did not hurt either. He carefully probed around with his index
finger. He was wet and slippery, and the finger went in easily,
much easier than ever before. He looked up to see if the nurse was
watching, but she was paying no attention to him. She was
gathering up the things used in the examination. Soon, she too
left the room.
Joe was sitting on the edge of the examination table with his
hand over his pubic area, and one finger just inside his genital
vestibule. He had never been inside much farther than this, and
was surprised at how different it felt. The water soluble
lubricant used in the examination had made everything extremely
slick. He felt around, feeling the bumps and ridges in this new,
unfamiliar part of his body. He could feel a small lump, which he
knew by the feel was his urethra. It was just after the ridge of
his now somewhat prominent pubic bone.
He went further in his exploration, and entered his vaginal
opening. He could feel a restriction, some tight tissue. This
must be my hymen, he considered, and carefully examined it with the
tip of his finger. The opening in his hymen seemed large enough to
penetrate with his finger, so slowly, cautiously, he went further.
After the initial restriction at the entrance, it was all clear,
but it was difficult to go much further without stretching it even
more. It did not hurt, but Joe did not want to tear it. How would
he explain it to the doctors, if that happened?
He just sat there, examining himself. When he decided he
could not get any farther inside with his finger, he stopped. He
tensed his crotch muscles, and felt the tightening with his finger.
The sensation when he bore down on his own finger felt strange, but
sort of pleasurable.
He was getting more familiar with his body. At first, he was
almost afraid to even look at the new parts, but now, after the
doctors' examinations introduced him to new sensations, he decided
that he needed to know what it was all about. These new areas
might be different, but they were still part of him. He withdrew
his finger, and, holding it to his nose, smelled it. Funny, he
thought, it does not seem to have any particular odor. He thought
of Linda. He loved her sweet, female scent. He wondered why he
did not smell like that.
Finally, Joe decided he better get dressed. He stood up, and
pulled off the gown. He was feeling particularly good about
himself as he went over to the chair where his clothes were lying.
He took his underpants, and stepped into them, loving the feel and
the snug fit of the black panties. He easily slipped the bra on
and clasped the plastic latch between his breasts. Yeah, he was
beginning to accept... to appreciate his new body... how it looked,
and how it felt. He might still be Joe Bates, Engineer, Pilot, and
Sports Car Nut, but he was not really a male anymore. He was
beginning to realize it, accept the differences, and maybe even
enjoy them.
Joe quickly dressed and replaced his hairpiece. There was a
small sink in the examination room, with a mirror above it. He
looked at himself and adjusted his hair and clothing. When he felt
he was ready, he went to the door and went out. He walked back up
to Dr. Krell's office, but he saw, through the open door, that Dr.
Krell was busy talking to Dave. He went out to where he saw the
nurse who was present during his exam.
"Should I stay in the examination room?" Joe asked.
"Well, no, you don't have to," the woman said. "I think Dr.
Krell will want to talk to you as soon as he's finished. You can
go back to the waiting room, if you like."
"Okay, I'll wait there," Joe said. He hoped that "Miss Dix"
was not out there.
Joe went out and took a seat. Mike was nowhere to be seen,
and only one person, who had just entered before Joe was called,
was in the room. He looked through the stack of magazines, mostly
woman's, on the small rack next to his seat. He selected Cosmopol-
itan, the cleavage of the woman on the cover catching his male
trained eye.
He thumbed through the magazine, noticing with heightened
interest the ads for feminine hygiene products, contraceptives, and
underwear. He thought about it. It was almost like this was the
female equivalent of an automotive magazine. All the products
designed to make what you had look better or work better. For a
guy, it was his car. For a woman, well, she had this exotic body
to maintain. Yeah, he thought as he thumbed through the sexy ads
for clothing, lingerie, tampons, and pregnancy detection kits, this
is a woman's Car and Driver.
He started reading an article about Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
He was wondering what having a period would feel like when the
nurse called his name again. Darn, he thought, he wanted to finish
the article. He looked at the magazine cover, and saw it was the
current issue. I'll have to pick that one up, he thought as he put
the magazine in the rack, and then followed the nurse back to Dr.
Krell's office.
In the office, Dr. Krell sat behind his desk, with Dr.
Benedict sitting in one of the seats on the other side. Dr. Krell
motioned for Joe to have a seat next to the gynecologist.
"The hairpiece is very attractive on you," Dr. Benedict said.
Joe realized that the man had only seen him undressed, and without
the wig.
"Thanks," Joe said. "Karen loaned it to me." Joe figured the
doctors there must all know Karen.
"Joe, we have the results of the lab tests of the hair
samples," Dr. Krell said. "You might be interested to know that,
from DNA tests we found that your hair, at least, still shows a
male chromosome pattern. Of course, as it grows out, that may
change. I would think all the dead cells of your body have not
changed, only the living cells. That is easily sufficient proof of
your identity. It doesn't change anything, but it does confirm that
a so far unknown phenomenon caused cell changes in you and your two
coworkers' bodies. The change, or damage, we might call it, has
caused the chromosomes to distort, to make your genetic structure
to appear to change from XY, to XX, what normally would be the
female form. I suspect that you are not truly female, that is, you
are not a precise genetic representation of what you would have
been, had you been conceived as a genetic female. However, the
differences are so slight, so inconsequential, from a practical
matter, that it would probably take an electron microscope to tell
the difference. I suspect also, that the difference, slight as it
is, is far too small to prevent the normal gynecological functions
from occurring. Joe, it appears that you, for all practical, and
physiological purposes, are now a functional female."
"Well, I'm glad all the physical examinations and genetic
tests agree with what I see when I look in the mirror," Joe said.
He understood that Dr. Krell was just giving him the complete
medical synopsis, but what he really wanted was the answer to what
caused the whole thing to happen in the first place.
"Now that we know WHAT has happened, we must concentrate our
efforts on why it occurred," Dr. Benedict said.
"And while that's happening, we will do everything we can, to
help make your situation bearable," Dr. Krell added.
"Is there anything I can do to help discover the cause?" Joe
asked. He wanted to get back to work to try to discover what, in
or around the Learjet, or the GPS transmitters, could have caused
his plight.
"We want you, Dave, and Mike to remain here until tomorrow, so
that you can attend the class we will present tomorrow, probably
about nine or ten o'clock," Dr. Krell advised. "After that, you,
and Dave at least, can go back. Mike may be asked to stay another
day. We'll know by tomorrow at noon."
Joe wondered what that might be about, but decided that it was
none of his business. "What else is there today?" Joe asked. He
was getting anxious to get on with it.
"Well, if you have decided change your legal status to
female," Dr. Krell answered, "there is some more paperwork to fill
out. We have obtained copies of all your records, so we probably
have most of the information we need. We'll just need your
signature after we prepare the forms."
"That's all it takes?" Joe asked incredulously. "A few signa-
tures? I write my name on a piece of paper, and suddenly, I'm no
longer a man? I'm a woman, just as if I had been born that way?"
Joe was amazed at how simple it sounded.
"You must realize, that this place specializes in such transi-
tions," Dr. Krell explained. "You must also understand that the
position you find yourself in, is where a person desiring surgical
reassignment arrives only after years of chemical and mental
therapy, and extensive cosmetic surgery. What happened to you is
unprecedented."
"Too bad I didn't want it to happen," Joe said. "For an
accident, whatever caused it, it did one hell of a job."
"Don't think we haven't noticed," Dr. Krell said. "If we can
find the cause of the phenomena, we might even be able to put it to
good use."
"Who's paying for all this, anyway?" Joe asked the question
that had been at the back of his mind for some time.
Dr. Krell handed Joe a paper. Joe looked at it, and saw it
was a FAX, from Honeybone Flight Systems. It stated that Dr. Krell
was to use whatever resources necessary to find the cause of the
problem caused by the GPS equipment. It stated that more informa-
tion would follow. That sheet, Joe realized, meant that Honeybone
was concerned, not just for a few of their workers who got injured
at work, but also about the legal, and maybe even medical ramifica-
tions of what happened last Thursday. It was as close to a blank
check as ever existed at Honeybone.
Dr. Krell looked at his watch. It was almost one o'clock.
The morning had gone past very quickly, and they were all hungry.
"I'm afraid I can't join you, Joe, but I think Mike or Karen
are around, and they probably have missed lunch too," Dr. Krell
said, smiling.
Joe got up, and walked to the door. He turned. "I'll see you
this afternoon?" he asked.
"Oh, sure," Dr. Krell said. "I'll be here. I have to see how
things are going with your friend Dave." He went down the hall, and
entered one of the examination rooms.
Joe went out and asked the nurse where he could find Karen
Simpson.
"I'm sure she's in the classroom," the nurse said. "Go down
the hall, and I'm sure you'll find her."
Joe went walking down the hall in the direction the nurse
pointed. When he came to an open door, he looked in, and found a
small classroom. Karen was sitting in one of the chairs, in
discussion with three other people. Joe recognized one as Laura,
the tall transsexual he had talked to when he first entered the
clinic. Karen saw him, and motioned for him to come in.
"Everyone, this is Joe Bates," Karen said. "He's here because
of something that happened to him last week."
"Hi, Joe," Laura Dix said.
"Hello," Joe said. "Nice to meet you all."
"Karen, now you've got us interested," Laura said. "Joe, what
happened to you that made it necessary to visit this place?"
"Well, I don't yet know what caused it," Joe explained simply,
"but they tell me that I've changed genetically, and physically,
into a female. That's it. I'm here to discover the extent of the
changes, and maybe figure a way to become male again."
"What? You look like that, and you want to be a guy?" Laura
asked. "I'd give almost anything to look half as good as you do."
"Yeah, but as we discussed earlier, I'm a guy, not a woman.
I want a male body, just like you want to look female," Joe said,
wondering if he really meant what he was saying.
"It's amazing, isn't it," Karen observed. "What we think we
are, really has little to do with our appearance. The ultimate sex
organ is the brain. What the BRAIN thinks we are, is what we
consider ourselves to be, or should be."
"Enough of this deep thought," Joe interrupted. "Do you want
to get a bite to eat?"
"Gosh, it is lunch time," Linda said. "Time passes so quickly
here."
"Anyone else want to go?" Joe asked. "I think we can fit six
in the Lincoln. I want to try to find Mike. Dave is with the
doctors."
"I'll go with you," Laura said, getting up.
"Anybody else?" Dave asked.
The others declined, and Joe, Karen, and Laura left the room,
to find Mike. Joe went to ask the nurse, when he saw him sitting
in the waiting area. Joe walked over to him.
"Are you ready for something to eat, Mike?" Joe asked.
Mike looked up at Joe. He did not look very happy. Joe
wondered what new information they had for his friend.
"Yeah, I guess I still have to eat," Mike said, not very
enthusiastically. He got up, and followed them out the door.
It was an unusual crew who entered the little restaurant.
Mike led them and the three "women" followed behind. They took a
seat at a small square table. The waitress came over almost as
soon as they sat down. They ordered, Joe trying to remember to
order less than he felt he wanted. Mike ordered a steak and baked
potato. No female portions for him.
Mike seemed uncomfortable sitting with his obviously female
looking friends, even though he was now, at least biologically, a
woman too.
"Mike, did they give you any satisfaction this morning?" Joe
asked.
"Hell, I don't know. They looked at my crotch, at my chest,
they showed me a picture of male parts, but they didn't really give
me any help as to how I should live with myself," Mike said,
looking very sad.
"Can I ask you a question?" Joe asked. He wanted to find if
Mike was experiencing the same mental changes he was.
"Sure, ask away," Mike said.
"The other day, when we first discovered we all had this
problem," Joe questioned, "I still felt, inside at least, like I
was still a male. It just seemed like somebody had messed with my
body and changed its appearance. But now, since yesterday at
least, I've been experiencing other changes, changes in my head, I
guess, strange feelings. I guess I'm beginning to accept this
body. Hell, I think I'm even starting to like looking like this.
I was wondering, are you starting to feel like that, too?"
"Joe, look at yourself," Mike said. "You look like a woman.
You're attractive, and even the other day it even seemed like you
enjoyed what happened to you. I can't possibly feel the same way.
What I want, or how I feel... It makes no difference. I can't
please a woman anymore, and whether I want to or not makes little
difference. Even if I accept that I'm female now, I couldn't
expect a man to want me, not the way I look. I'm caught in the
middle, and there's no way out." He sounded desperate.
"Maybe you need therapy to deal with your problem," Karen
said. "After you find out how you want to go... what your options
are... Then, maybe, Dr. Krell can help you. If you want to remain
a male, I think they can help you with surgery. I've known a few
patients who have come to him with female bodies, and with
hormones, and surgery to create an artificial phallus, they are
very convincing as men. With you, you hardly need the hormone
therapy."
"Yeah, yeah, we went through that already," Mike said. "Dr.
Krell said that since I had been a male, and have... err... had a
functional penis, I wouldn't be happy with anything he could
create. Right now though, I'd give anything to get my cock back.
I can't spend the rest of my life with a cunt."
"If that's how you feel, I'm sure he can help," Laura chimed
in. "Dr. Krell is the best. I've checked them all out, and he's
the best."
"I hope you're right," Mike said. "I just want to get on with
my life. I don't see how I can do that, looking like this."
The waitress came, bringing out their orders. Joe was getting
hungry, and the small portion of grilled chicken breast looked
good, but hardly enough to satisfy him. They all got down to the
serious business of eating.
"Karen, what can we expect from this hygiene class Dr. Krell
told me about for tomorrow?" Joe asked. "I think an assistant
named Susan teaches it?"
"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that," Karen said. "He
started that just after my surgery. In fact, I probably helped it
to come about. Before, reassignment patients had a hodgepodge of
information to get, and to remember. I guess it all got accom-
plished, but in my case, for example, I developed an infection just
because I didn't know any better, and I was a registered nurse,
even then."
"What's it all about?" Joe asked again.
"As I'm sure you realize, there are some physical differences
between males and females," Karen said. "Women's bodies are more
complicated, and in some ways, more delicate. Just wiping your
butt the wrong way can cause a vaginal infection, as I found out
soon after my surgery. You have breasts now, and she'll show you
how to examine them correctly. She'll answer any other questions
you have, or might have, after watching the films. I think you'll
find the whole thing interesting."
"I see. It's sort of an owner's manual class," Joe said.
"I suppose that's a good description it," Karen said,
grinning.
"How about Susan?" Mike asked. "Is she a real woman, or one
of Dr. Krell's modifications?" There was a bit of sarcasm in his
voice.
Karen looked straight at him, but kept smiling. "Susan
Stevens is a real woman," she said. "She's married, has two kids,
and is a caring wife and mother, as well as a dedicated therapist."
"I'm sorry, Karen," Mike said. "I didn't mean anything by it.
I guess I just have a short fuse."
"Forget it," Karen said. "I understand that you're under a
lot of stress. I would be too."
With that they finished eating, and when the waitress brought
the check, Joe took it and paid it. Honeybone would pay this bill.
Joe drove them back to the clinic. When they went inside,
Dave was sitting in the waiting room. Joe sat down next to his
friend. Mike sat next to Joe, but Karen and Laura went on in, to
resume their conversation in the little classroom.
Joe looked at Dave.
"How's it going, pal?" he asked. "Did you get anything to eat
yet?"
"It's going okay, I guess," Dave said, smiling weakly. "No,
I haven't had anything to eat, but I'm not hungry anyway."
"Did Dr. Krell say what else we had this afternoon?" Joe
asked.
"Just some paperwork," Dave said. "Joe, I don't know what to
do about that."
"What do you mean?" Joe asked.
"Joe, Dr. Krell said I could fill out paperwork to change my
legal status to female," Dave said, "but I can't do that and remain
married to Cindy. I realize I'm not a man anymore, but I don't
want to leave Cindy and the kids."
"Did he say that you had to?" Joe asked.
"He said I couldn't stay married to a woman, if I changed my
legal sex," Dave lamented. "State law won't allow same sex
marriages in Arizona, and that's what we would have if I sign the
papers."
"What about California?" Joe asked. He thought he had once
read about homosexuals getting married in California.
"I don't know," Dave said. "I never thought about moving."
"If you got a divorce, based on your situation," Joe said,
"and then you and Cindy remarried in California, why couldn't you
continue to live where you do now? If there is a residence
requirement, or something, I think Honeybone will help with that."
Joe considered the possibilities.
"Maybe that's it," Dave said. He seemed relieved.
"How are you feeling?" Joe asked. "Was the physical easier
today?"
"Yeah, it was, a little. Strange, isn't it, how the new parts
feel so much like the old ones?" Dave said, looking at Joe as he
said it.
"Same thing I noticed," Joe said. "Sometimes, it seems like
I could just reach down and find that my penis is there again."
"It isn't though," Mike said. "We're stuck with these cunts,
no matter what they feel like."
Dr. Krell's administrative assistant called out to them. "Can
you come in now?" she asked. "We can have you completed in about
an hour, if you have everything you need." They followed the woman
into a small room, where there was a table and chairs. "Please
wait here," the assistant said.
Joe, Dave and Mike sat at the little table, waiting to
complete the paperwork that would make them females in the eyes of
the law.
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