What keeps us from being who we truly are? I think the answer to that is
primarily fear. We are afraid that we are not good enough, brave enough, or
strong enough. We fear that if we give something up, we will never be able
to reclaim it again. I think most of all we fear being alone, ostracized,
and outcast.

For several months after I KNEW I needed to begin transition, I loitered. I
was afraid of what I might lose. I finally mustered the courage to begin.
Then once again, there was a point where I was certain that I should begin
hormone therapy, but again waited, not to ease my logical mind, but to allow
my fears to subside. When I first began venturing outside dressed en femme,
I was nearly petrified. And again, when I went to a mall to have my ears
pierced.

Over and over, I have let fear control my actions... or at least delay me.
Each time I look back and regret the time I wasted just trying to fight my
fears.

I recently went full time. I was terrified, explaining to my coworkers what
was about to happen the Friday before I started. I was so afraid of negative
responses. And there WERE negative responses, and they hurt, but I couldn't
let that fear control my life. We will never please everyone, and I am still
trying to learn that. We can't live our lives to please others at the
expense of our own personal growth.

I meditate. When all the distractions around us are removed, we can hear our
own inner voice clearly. On one such occasion, I heard a clear voice say
'Fear is a phantom wall', and with the message came the understanding. Fear
stops us all, but it is only as capable of stopping us as we let it be.

I have known and faced fear in the last year in quantities I never thought
possible. I can tell you what is on the other side of that wall. More fear.
There will always be more fears to face. Courage is not the absence of fear,
it is the ability to overcome it. Beating fear today doesn't mean we won't
have to face it again tomorrow. But each step we take against our fears, we
may gain courage to try again, or go farther, be more, and do spectacular
things.

The lighthearted nature of the recently instituted 'brave chicken awards'
may seem somewhat whimsical, but really honors the strength shown by those
winning the awards. The institution of such an award is beautiful, giving
recognition to those who beat their fears. It's something we all must face,
and truly deserves recognition.

I guess, in closing I wish to encourage you all to fight your fears. Find
who you are inside, and let that person shine. That is our true strength.

Love,
Lynn