~ Best Ever Rum Cake ~

1 OR 2 QUARTS OF RUM
1 CUP BUTTER
1 T. BROWN SUGAR
2 LARGE EGGS
2 CUPS DRIED FRUIT
BAKING POWDER
1 T. SODA
LEMON JUICE
SUGAR
NUTS

.

BEFORE YOU START,
SAMPLE THE RUM TO CHECK FOR QUALITY.

GOOD ISN'T IT?

NOW GO AHEAD,
SELECT A LARGE MIXING BOWL, MEASURING CUP, ETC.

CHECK THE RUM AGAIN: IT MUST BE JUST RIGHT.

TO BE SURE THE RUM IS OF THE HIGHEST QUALITY,
POUR ONE LEVEL CUP OF RUM INTO A GLASS AND
DRINK IT AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

REPEAT THE LAST STEP...

WITH AN ELECTRIC MIXER,
BEAT 1 CUP BUTTER IN A LARGE FLUFFY BOWL.

ADD ONE SEASPOON OF TUGAR AND BEAT AGAIN.

MEANWHILE,
MAKE SURE THE RUM IS OF HIGHEST QUALITY,
TRY ANOTHER CUP.

OPEN SECOND QUART IF NECESSARY.

ADD ARGE LEGGS, 2 CUPS FRIED DRUIT
AND BEAT UNTIL HIGH.

IF THE DRUIT GETS STUCK IN BEATERS,
JUST PRY LOOSE WITH SCREWDRIVERS.

SAMPLE THE RUM AGAIN,
CHECKING FOR QUALITY AND TONCISTIICITY.

NEXT SIFT 3 CUPS BAKING POWDER, A PINCH OF RUM,
A SEASPOON OF TODA AND A CUP OF SALT OR PEPPER.
(IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER)

SAMPLE THE RUM AGAIN!

SIFT 1 PINT OF LEMON JUICE,
FOLD IN CHOPPED BUTTER AND STRAINED NUTS.

ADD TABLESPOON OF BROWN SUGAR
OR WHAT EVER COLOR YOU CAN FIND.

MIX WELL,
GRASE OVEN AND TURN CAKE PAN TO 350 DEGREES.

NOW POUR WHOLE MESS INTO OVEN.

MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER TO FORGET THE OVEN
AND JUST CHECK THE RUM AGAIN.

GO TO BED.

Now that you have had a good laugh,
Check out the Real Rum Cake!

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