angel

chapter nine

Shane smiled and stood behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. Angel closed her eyes, unable to withstand the guilt inside her. He kissed her neck passionately. She didn’t respond. "Shane… this… this isn’t right," she stammered. "Yes it is Angel, I love you" He drew her closer to him. "Shane, everything’s different now, I’m not the same, we’re not the same" "Nothings changed except we’ve grown up a bit. You still mean everything to me, to us." He leaned his lips to her neck and kissed her again. "No Shane! I can’t do this." She was adamant. "Do what?" Shane looked confused. "I don’t understand Angel."
She moved away from him, walking out from the sunlight and into the darkness of the room. Angel now stood in a corner, her face to the wall. She took a deep breath and began "I’m engaged Shane, I’m marrying my fiancé, Carl tomorrow at noon. I’m so sorry, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, I never realized that I’d still be in love with you after all these years…" "You… Your what?" Shane’s voice was trembling, but he was doing his best to try and disguise it. "You can’t be, I love you Angel" He was close to tears. His world was torn in two. "I’m so sorry Shane, I never meant to hurt you, you mean so much to me…" He interrupted her. "So much that you’re going to marry someone else? I thought I meant more to you than that." Shane’s eyes were red from rubbing them. She turned around to face him, her cheeks stained with tears. "I’m going to marry Carl, I love Carl" she faintly replied, trying to avoiding looking into those deep hazel eyes that she could never resist. Shane was hurting. It was unbearable. "And it never occurred to you tell me that you were someone else’s lover? " His heart was thumping inside his chest. "Shane, please don’t be like this baby," she pleaded. "Exactly how do you expect me to be, happy, delighted for you and this Carl lad?" he screamed, grabbing hold of her arm, forcing her to look at him. "Shane, what we had…" "I thought you loved me," he was still crying "I thought you were mine Angel, Obviously I was wrong… about a great many things."
There was nothing else to be said. Shane felt betrayed, but above all he felt indignant. How could she have done this to him after everything they’d been through together? Angel meant more to him than life itself and now he was about to lose her again, and this time it would be forever. He couldn’t let her go. He loved her too much to let her leave him like this. Shane ran to the door to try and stop her. "Angel, baby, please… please don’t leave me again." He caught hold of her hand. It was so soft, so delicate, moist from wiping her eyes. "Please Shane, forget me, you deserve someone better than me, someone who can make you happy" she begged him. "You make me happy Angel." He couldn’t speak anymore.. Angel gently kissed Shane’s tearstained cheek.
He didn’t want to lose her again, he was nothing without her. Angel turned and walked away from him. She looked back at Shane, crying, and headed for the door. He was confused and hurting inside. He wanted to chase after her, but it was already too late. He rushed to the doorway and watched her walk away, past Nicky, down the stair and out of his life. He slid to the floor and put his head in his hands. Shane was alone inside a world of confusion and heartache. He wanted Angel, he needed Angel.

"Shay? I’ve just seen Angel crying, what’s happened Shay?" Nicky looked very concerned for his best friend. He knew how much Shane loved her. His eyes searched the room. Where is he? Nicky thought to himself. "She’s… she’s…" Shane broke down. Nicky sat down beside Shane on the floor. "She’s what Shay? Tell Me." Asked Nicky, careful not to upset Shane anymore than he already was. "Nix she’s getting… she’s going to…" "Come on Shay, tell me what’s wrong." Nicky lifted Shane’s head from within his hands. Shane looked at Nicky’s blue eyes. They seemed to understand his pain.
"She’s engaged, she’s getting married tomorrow Nix to this lad, Carl and I…" He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. They were raw. Nicky sighed. "Did you tell her how you feel about her?" Nicky passed him a tissue from his pocket. "She said that she loved him and that she had never… never meant to… to hurt me." Nicky put his arm around Shane. "Did she tell you that she loved you Shay?" "Yes. She said that she did, but… but I don’t know… I don’t know anything anymore Nix." "Do you love her?" Nicky knew the answer to the question before Shane could open his mouth. "More than the world" Shane blinked hard and continued, "I’ve got to make her see that we’re meant to be together." "You’re asking for a miracle Shay." Nicky sighed again. Shane looked at Nicky with hope in his eyes. "It was a miracle that brought us back together Nix, surely there’s gotta be another one to keep us together." Nicky forced a smile. Nicky knew Shane had said it just as much to convince him as to convince himself that he believed it. Shane closed his eyes. Nicky took Shane in his arms and tried to comfort him as he cried. It was no good. Nicky knew that only Angel could stop Shane’s tears from falling.

Shane stood in the shower and stared expressionless at the water as it ran down the plughole. It seemed to remind him of his life, like the water, his life was going down the drain and there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he wanted in his life was Angel; he would give up everything just to hold her in his arms again. How could she leave him after what had happened between them the past few days? He didn’t know the answer but he longed for a solution, a way to make her see how much he loved her.
"Feeling any better?" asked Nicky as Shane finally emerged from the bathroom. "A bit, thanks Nix." "Thanks for what?" It was Nicky’s turn to look confused. "For just being a mate." Shane attempted to smile. It was hard, but he managed it. "No probs Shay, anytime," said Nicky nodding his head in gratitude.
Shane wandered over to the bed, the bed that he and Angel had made love endlessly in less than twelve hours ago. He felt a lump in his throat as he remembered the passion, the love that they had shared. "Are you okay Shay?" Nicky sounded concerned. "Yeah, I was just thinking about…" "Don’t think about it Shane, If you love her, you’ve got to stop her" Nicky spoke with confidence. All of a sudden Nicky jumped up of the bed. "Do you know where she lives?" "Yeah, but I don’t think I could cope with seeing her right now Nix, not like this." "But I could go and see her, y’know have a chat and things." Nicky had a cheeky grin on his face. He had always been good with the women, after all with his good looks and witty charm the girls were practically falling at his feet. Too bad that he was already taken by the Irish Prime minister’s daughter, Georgina Ahern.
"Would you? Thanks Nix, I don’t know what to say." Shane was encouraged by Nicky’s confidence. "Just promise me you’ll not get your hopes up too high Shay, I can’t work miracles y’know." Shane smiled. "I think I might go lie down for a bit, I don’t feel so good." Shane scribbled down Angel’s address on a piece of paper and handed it to Nicky. "Get some rest Shay will you? You look like death warmed up!" "Okay mate." Shane lay down on the bed and Nicky left the room, closing the door behind him.

chapter twelve

Nicky looked at the piece of paper in his hand and then at the little cherry red bricked house in front of him. This must be it then, Nicky thought to himself as he opened the garden gate and began to walk down the winding path towards the front door. The garden surrounding him was astounding. It was bursting and bulging with colour and life, springing out over the fences, showering out on every side, red roses and white roses, honeysuckle and snowdrops. Wow! Nicky thought to himself as he knocked on the front door.
A beautiful young woman opened the door. "Hi… you’re Nicky aren’t you?" Angel seemed very friendly towards him. "Err… yeah, look can I come in? I need to talk to you. It’s about Shane." Nicky was nervous and he didn’t know why. He was never like this around women. Never. "You’d better come in then." Angel led Nicky into a cosy lounge and sat down on the sofa. Nicky sat down next to her.
"I… I really like your garden, it’s really something." Nicky said awkwardly. "Thanks, I like it very much." She smiled at Nicky, trying to easy his nerves. "My dad did it all for me, he just loves that garden. I wish I had green fingers like his." Nicky smiled back at her, he was beginning to feel more relaxed with her.
"Look, about you and Shane…" he paused "he’s really cut up." Angels smile faded. "I know Nicky, I’m hurting too. I never meant to hurt him. Never." "I know Angel, but Shane’s always loved you… you’re a very easy girl to fall in love with…" Nicky quickly realized what he had said and tried to cover it up. "He’s loved you for years Angel, he’s never stopped loving you, even when you left Sligo, he still loved you…" Angel cut in "And I’ve never stopped loving him either, but things are different now…" Her voice began to trail off. "If you love him then why are you hurting him like this? It’s killing him." Nicky seemed baffled by Angel’s response. "How do YOU know what Shane’s feeling? You don’t know how he feels inside!" Nicky knew he’d hit a sore point. "Shane told me everything. Everything," Nicky stopped.
She really was quite striking. He could see why Shane dreamt of her constantly. He continued, "I know all about when you were together in Sligo, I know about the accident in the kitchen, trust me I know." Angel could see Nicky looking at her. She hid her hand in her sleeve and looked down at the carpet. "Shane doesn’t know how he feels." She was biting her bottom lip to stop the tears from filling her eyes. "You’re not the one who has to comfort him in the middle of the night when he wakes up screaming your name. Are you? Well?" Nicky was annoyed. Why couldn’t she see what she was doing to Shane? To him even? Why was Nicky feeling like this? He didn’t know. "Remember G, Remember G" Nicky kept telling himself.
"It’s not my fault Nicky. I…" "Yes it bloody well is your fault!" Nicky tried to calm his temper. "It’s you he dreams of, it’s you he cries for… He needs you Angel, why can’t you see that?" Nicky looked at him with his perfect twinkly blue eyes. They were certainly worthy of an owner like Nicky, Angel thought to herself. "I can’t change the past Nicky, I wish I could, I’d do everything so differently. But I can’t." Nicky caught her eyes again, they were so beautiful, they reminded him of an enchanted forest in a fairy tale. He became lost in her eyes. She looked at him and she found herself lost in the crystal blueness of his eyes. Angel and Nicky seemed to be drawn together by some strange force, no matter how much they tried, neither one could resist it. Their lips were almost touching, almost kissing. It was inevitable. They kissed.
Nicky could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted her. He wanted her badly, very badly. What was he doing? He didn’t know and he didn’t care either. She was an amazing kisser. Nicky wanted more than just a kiss from Angel. Her arms were around his neck and her fingers were playing with his hair. Nicky’s hands where slowly moving down from her face towards her waist. He slowly pulled at the zip on Angel’s top. Angel softly pulled away from Nicky but only momentarily to look into his eyes. Nicky smiled at her as he gradually lowered the zip on her top to reveal a black satin balconette bra. She was gorgeous. Her figure was astonishing.. Nicky hands were trembling. They began to kiss again, this time with more infatuation.
Suddenly there was a loud bang on the door. They both jumped back. Neither of them could believe what had just happened between them. "I’d better answer that Nicky." Angel smiled and got up. "Yeah, I’d better get going, Shane’ll be wondering where I’ve got to." He was still holding her hand. "Okay." Angel felt strange inside. Nicky made her feel warm inside, nowhere near as much in love as when she had kissed Shane, but yet so much more than when she and Carl kissed. Part of her wanted to kiss him again and a very big part of Nicky wanted to her to. Slowly Nicky re-zipped her top. It was a black sleeveless style top with a full-length zip keeping its secrets safe within. He stroked her face gently. "Promise me that you’ll think about what I’ve said." "I promise Nicky, but I doubt that it’s going to change anything." Nicky looked into her beautiful hazel eyes "Just think about it for me. Please?" Angel softly put her lips to his and kissed him. Nicky was praying inside for more, but it was just a kiss. He wanted her to ignore the person at the door and take him upstairs. She did not though. They both walked towards the door. Nicky gave Angel a quick peck on the cheek and dropped her hand gradually. Nicky opened the door for Angel. "You know where I am if you wanna talk don’t you?" said Nicky as he stepped outside. "Yeah, Thanks Nicky. Thanks for everything."

"Hey sugar, who’s this then?" The young man laughed. "Carl, this is Nicky, Nicky this is Carl." They looked at each other and shook hands. Carl looked just like Shane, but with blue eyes. Nicky felt a bit spooked about the similarities. Nicky’s blue eyes were turning green with envy. "Look, I’d better be off now, I’ll see you before I go won’t I Angel?" Nicky eagerly awaited a response. "Yeah, of course you will. Take care Nicky!" "Will do," and with that he headed down the garden path, out through the gate and into the streets.
Nicky was grinning, he felt like a giddy little schoolboy again. "I’d better calm down before I get back to the hotel. I’d better not tell Shane the truth, God he’d kill me for even thinking about Angel like that…" he thought to himself as he walked towards the bus stop. Nicky was smiling from ear to ear. How was he going to explain it to Shane? Hopefully the bus journey would calm him down.

chapter thirteen to seventeen