"I woke up again at the hospital. I classically wondered for a while if I were in heaven, everyone around me were dressed in white! I know it's a classical comic thing, but I really wondered. Well, I came to the conclusion I was in too much pain to be in heaven. I just felt alone, I wanted Nikki to be there. Of course I thought she wasn't, but I asked for her anyway. She was the only person I could think of just then. After numerous repeats of it, the doctor gave in and called her. I couldn't believe it, after all I had done to her, she was there. I had never for my life thought she would. I was so afraid and all I could do was to take her hand. It meant so much to me to have her there. Honestly, if she hadn't, I'd probably have ended up starting a riot and killed myself after all!

"Everyone else drove off and me and Nikki, who was given permission to stay a little while, were left alone. I can still remember when she reached over and touched me, the pain suddenly just flowed away from my body. I had this sudden instinct and just asked her to kiss me. She did, and for the first time in 4 months I felt complete again. I was determined that this time it'd work out between us, no matter what.

"Time went on, and I slowly started to feel better. Nikki told me I was to become a dad, and it made me even more determined to hold on. Everyone thought it was miraculous that I lived through it, but I think it was all thanks to her. If she hadn't been there, I'd had nothing to look forward to, no one to reassure me that everything was ok, no one who gave me all that love she'd been the only one ever to give.

"It finally came out I'd tried to take my life, but she took it calmly. She was the first person I ever admitted it to, even though she knew already. I knew she did, we both had this ability to read each other's minds, and I think right from the start we understood each other fully. After that, we started the hard bit, to rebuild our relationship to what it had once been. We had to overcome the hurt and just put it all behind us, starting from scratch, which is a quite hard this to do!

"When I was finally released out of hospital, we decided to go public. After all, in about 4 months time we'd become parents, no way I could lie and say she was just a good friend. I think going public was even easier then, we had started freshly again, and now we trusted each other and the relationship was stronger than ever. No matter what happened, we shared something special that no one could take away from us.

"We went public on her TV show that night. She was a relatively well-known TV presenter by then, ever admired by girls her age and younger, and I guess that added to the great reaction. She wasn't unknown, even though she wasn't as much a star, and she was quite used to the attention.