"Bryan" I called as I opened the door walking into a dark bedroom, "babe, are you asleep?" I asked quietly "Nuh" said a weary tired voice as he stretched out and pulled the light lead, "that’s better," I said, "I can see where I’m going now" I laughingly whispered. I crawled into bed and lay with my head rested on Bryan’s bare chest "I missed you so much" I said as I kissed his arm, we sat there watching the rotating light shade project stars around the room. "I’m so glad we have this week together, I almost died without you." I said. He just fumbled out a "hhmmh" I knew from earlier that something was playing on his mind, in fact I noticed the instant that he kissed me that the feeling we usually had was still there, but only from my part, or maybe I was being paranoid, but deep in the pit of my stomach, I could feel that it was all wrong. "Bry, baby if you need to talk, you know that I am here" "I don’t deserve this" he said as his grip around me loosened, he moved away from me, "YOU don’t deserve this" he said increasing the tone in his voice. I could feel it; my heart started beating faster and faster, sinking further down "don’t deserve what?" I asked, "Bryan please don’t say…" I was going to say ‘don’t say you have found someone else’ but I remembered that look in his eye, that promise he made, I knew that it couldn’t be true, so I just took hold of his hand and said "Whatever it is, tell me when you are ready, okae?" he looked at me and said, "Cheers hun," I couldn’t help but want to know what was going on, but I didn’t question him, maybe the pressure of work was just getting to be a bit much. He pulled the light lead and everything went dark, but as he put his arm around me, I got out of bed, "I need a drink," I said whilst leaving the room.

I stood there in the kitchen drinking the water, for some reason it didn’t seem to go any further than my throat, I just stood there frozen. "What’s up?" asked this voice behind me, "Oh Shane, don’t do that – you startled me" I said as I walked out, "Yeh, but what’s up Rav, don’t try and avoid the conversation". "It’s Bryan," I said, clearly not wanting to make conversation "He’s just acting strange. Have you noticed anything in the past week?" he looked at me and then quickly glanced away, I knew from that minute that something was going on, something I didn’t know about, "Come on Shane, tell me what is it, tell me as a friend" He just looked up and said, "Look, there is nothing, not that I know of, anyway, Bryan loves you too much. I better get back to bed" he walked away. I just sat there on the sofa wondering, a lump started forming in my throat and I frantically tried to swallow to get rid of it, but it just didn’t seem to budge and before I knew it tears started to flow down my face, but I didn’t know what for. I just sat there in complete darkness with a feeling of loneliness surrounding me.