shane's story
shane’s story - chapter seven
"A penny for your thoughts," Nicky said and nudged Shane’s shoulder. "You are just so far away. What’s up?" usually that brought out a smile on Shane’s face, but not today.
The band had not been together the past two months, apart from the two weddings. "Are you and Nana not doing okay or what?" Nicky couldn’t imagine what else could be wrong.
Shane looked at him and his yes expressed all the sadness that was hid inside him. "Everything is wrong, Nicky, it’s really hard." Nicky glanced at his watch; they still had 10 minutes left of their lunch break. "Let’s go for a stroll and talk." Nicky rose and Shane followed.
"Nana is so sick all the time, Nicky. She loses weight instead of gaining and she’s been in hospital. They can’t do anything. They’re afraid the baby will die because it’s getting no nutrition from her." Shane drew a deep breath. "Oh God no." Nicky was shocked.
"And Nana is brought up to believe that nobody is to touch her but her husband, so all this poking around and examinations of her affronts her public decency and she’s so vulnerable and depressed. I have tried to call her mother in Denmark, but she is afraid to come because of Nana’s father." Shane sat down on a bench and he couldn’t help but crying. "I’m so scared, Nicky it’s still 6 months left, but if it doesn’t get better very soon, Nana will have to give birth to a dead foetus." Shane looked up at Nicky. This was the first time he had opened up to anybody about the high risk of the situation. Not even Shane’s mom had been told everything.
"Jeez, Shane, I had no idea. I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry." "You don’t need to say anything, Nicky. There’s nothing you can say or do to make it better. Only the mercy of God can tackle this one." Shane wiped his eyes and he blew his nose in a paper tissue. Then he rose from the bench. "Thanks mate." He hugged Nicky and Nicky hugged him back. "For what? I didn’t do anything." Shane smiled a little. "You picked me up. Made me talk...just being you." Nicky smiled. "Oh! Well, I’m always here for you, Shane. You know that."
Shane and Nana were surprised when Nicky and Georgina showed up at visiting hours. Nana had had a good day for once, so smiling was easy. Shane also felt good tonight.
"Nana, you can’t keep doing this!" Georgina teased her a bit. "You need to keep your food inside you to feed that baby!" Georgina hugged her carefully. "I know, I know. Jeez, Georgie and Nicky it’s good to see you." Nana was so tired of only seeing Shane, his mother and the doctors and nurses. "How about you guys go out and then Nana and I have a girls’ night here?"
"So, how are you guys really doing?" Nicky asked. They were walking down to the cafeteria of the hospital. "I mean, apart from this business?" Nicky referred to the hospital.
"The first month was okay. We really had a wonderful time, but after your wedding all this started, and since then we haven’t had much else. First week she was sick all the time, then she was admitted here for a week, then home for a week and now back. I just wish they could find out what is wrong.
Nicky felt the obvious worry and despair in Shane’s voice. "Doctors can do much, Shane. I’m sure they’ll find out what’s wrong or at least find a way to help." "Nicky." Nicky looked at him. He knew he was shooting off the same stupid lines as everyone else. "I'm sorry, Shane. Sorry." They ordered some coffee and sat down.
Georgina crawled up into the foot end of Nana’s bed. "Nicky came home and told me everything this afternoon." Nana smiled a bit. She didn’t know what to say. And she was afraid to cry in front of Georgie. "Nana." Georgina picked up her signals straight away and she jumped out of the bed again and up to comfort Nana, who hadn’t been able to keep her tears back after all. "I’m so scared, Georgie. I’m so scared!" Nana couldn’t hold back, she just let go of her emotions.
Georgina had never been in a situation like this, but instinctively she knew she shouldn’t say a whole lot, just be there and listen. Nana, on the other hand, wasn’t used to let go and to talk about feelings, fears and what went on inside her. Until now only Shane had been able to maker open up. She was so influenced by her dad’s upbringing with religious attitudes. Feelings were not something you showed and talked about.
Shane and Nicky had only been sitting in the cafeteria a few minutes when Kian suddenly came. Shane was so surprised. "Hey Ki. What are you doing here?" "Hi Shane, Nicky." Kian sat down. "Just in for some moral support. Nicky told me a bit of what is going on."
Shane nodded. "Okay, well, I guess all of you should know. Then I won’t have to explain myself why I’m down." Kian nodded. "Well, I don’t know what’s really wrong, just that there’s something wrong with the pregnancy." Shane told him what was wrong. And he gave them permission to tell the other lads and also those on BMG what was happening. Being so emotional as he was he couldn’t face inform everybody around him.
Thank goodness the next couple of days Nana’s condition started to improve and she and the baby started to gain weight again, and as it seemed to stabilise, she was discharged and sent home to rest and to take care of herself.
