Plot: One event can change your life. "I'm sorry I was busy today." But what if you were given a second chance "When I woke up this morning, it was supposed to be Thursday, but it wasn't." To say all the things you never said. "I'm not losing you this time." To do all the things you never did. A second chance, to say I love you. "If I wake up tomorrow and you're gone, I don't know what I'm going to do." Jack McFarland, Karen Walker, Grace Adler, and Will Truman. Second Chances "I swear if you tell anyone about this, I will string you up by your good jeans and hang you out to dry."
Author's Note: This is a Jack/Karen romance, obviously. Rated PG-13. This was my first Jack/Karen fic, and I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading. Feedback appreciated, flames will be used to toast marshmallows. All the songs used were ones I felt fit well with the story, in the case of "Second Chances" or ones that I felt fit Jack and Karen's relationship in the case of the other three. Look forward to more Jack/Karen fics from me in the near future.
Disclaimer: The characters of Will & Grace are owned by NBC, Sean Hayes isn't my lover, and I am making no profit off of this. The lyrics to "Second Chances" belong to Michelle Branch, "When Somebody Loved Me" to Sarah McLaughlin, "All You Wanted" to Michelle Branch, and "Konstantine" to Something Corporate.
He walked down the street feeling pretty good in the tan leather jacket he had gotten out of this deal. The jacket for the walk downtown to pick up some shower curtains. He groaned, of all times to redecorate an apartment, right now, in the dead of winter. The traffic was backed up for miles in places, and several roads were blocked off because of icy conditions, so he had no choice but to walk. Still, it was a opportunity to show off his new jacket, and his stunning good looks. He grinned.
She sat in the back of the limo with a drink in hand, and another waiting for her in the drink holder. The city was an absolute mess this time of year. Christmas was in two weeks, the stores were run over with more people than products and it was all a messy fight to the check out line. She was glad she didn't splurge on gifts. A few little trinkets here and there, money more often than not, and her Christmas shopping was done. Of course, she always got him something special, but she would never tell that to anyone else. She had a reputation after all.
He sighed with relief. Grace's business was within viewing distance and the sooner he got there, and got the curtains that she so conveniently forgot to bring, the sooner he could get back to someplace warm. A cold chill ran down his spine and he shivered. He heard several horns blare, and looked up to see a Black Camero weaving in and out of the traffic. "Idiot. He's going to get somebody killed." He heard several angry shouts from pedestrians, more honking, and then the screech of tires.
Her glass hung limply in her hand, in her mind elsewhere as she starred out the mirrored window at all the people. They hadn't gotten their December snow yet, and she missed it. The tiny, bitter, cold flakes were nice enough as long as they didn't force the shops and bars to close or anything like that. She couldn't stand being cooped up for too long. She made a mental note to let herself go one day when there was snow and have a snowball fight with him. Suddenly she felt the car jolt and heard the screech of tires.
He knew what was coming. The crunch of metal against metal could be clearly heard, even through all the other sounds on the street. He quickened his pace just a little, and looked around for the Black Camero, hoping that whoever was on the receiving end of the crash was okay. He went past Grace's shop and came to a corner where the Black Camero sat in the middle of the crosswalk. His heart nearly stopped when he saw the other car. A long black limousine, the back of it completely crushed and nearly folded in half, and the license plate that read "WALKER".
Sometimes we get second chances
And sometimes we never make it past the first
It really makes you wonder why some things happen when they do
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you
She had seen the Black Camero heading for them, she leaned forward to yell at her driver, but there was no time before she was thrown from her seat and crushed against the opposing door. She had only a moment to see before the metal caved in around her and everything went into a spin. She wasn't sure if she had really screamed or not, but she heard it inside her head. Her martini glass was crushed, shards of the glass cutting into her bared arms. Outside, there was a figure, she recognized him, though blurred. She felt the blood trickling down her head, and silently mouthed a name before she passed out. "Jack."
In the empty apartment of Will Truman and Grace Adler, the phone repeatedly rang, and rang, and rang. On the other end of the line was a man pleading with fate. He was greeted with a phone message, and with a shaky and broken voice, spoke into the phone.
"Um, guys? This is Jack. I'm down at the hospital right now, in the ICU wing. Karen was in a car wreck, and it's um. . .it's pretty bad." He choked, "Come down as soon as you can. I really don't want to be alone right now. Bye."
And when you say
It doesn't matter well it does
And all it takes
Is a mistake to eat your words
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight
He returned the pay phone to the hook and went back to sit down. Various people went in and out of Karen's room, but he hadn't the courage to walk in himself. With his best friend laying in there, hooked up to every machine imaginable, it was hard to imagine he was talking with her just a few hours earlier.
That morning, Jack had dragged himself out of bed when his phone rang. It was Karen on the other line. "Hi poodle, are you still in bed? Come shopping with me today. We'll have fun!"
"I wish I could Kare, but I promised Will I'd help him and Grace redecorate their bathroom." Jack answered.
On the other end, Karen paused, "Honey, you never volunteer to help out Will and Grace."
"Karen, that is not true. I'm more than willing to sacrifice my free time to help someone."
There was a pause and then the two burst out laughing.
"Okay, okay." Jack gasped, "He bribed me with chocolate eclairs and the new Enya CD."
"So, Pastries and Celtic music are more important than me, huh?" Karen pouted.
"No Karen, you're more important. But you don't have a creamy center and the last time I heard you sing Only Time was the only time." Jack said, patting her hand.
"I see your point." Karen said, fiddling with the phone cord, "Well then, looks like I'm going solo today. I'll see you later, poodle." She paused, "Oh, and Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"You may be wrong about that creamy center." She said.
Jack heard a click, and listened to the dull drone of the dial-tone.
"Mr. McFarland?"
Jack looked up, startled. A dark haired doctor with tiny glasses perched on his nose and a greying beard stood over him. "You can go in and see Mrs. Walker now if you'd like."
"She's awake?" Jack said, his face brightening.
"No." The doctor replied solemnly, "But even so, I think she'd like to hear a familiar voice."
Jack nodded, rising out of his chair. With a steady pace, his heart pounding, and restraining the tears, he walked into Karen's room.
At first he couldn't make it past the door. She was laying in the bed, her soft dark hair laid across the pillow, framing her face beautifully. There was a cut extending from her eyebrow to her left temple, but Jack saw no less beauty in her. Her arms were scarred and bruised, and Jack could see blood stains on the bed from some of her more serious wounds. He swallowed hard, and walked over to the bedside.
Sometimes you never see the warning
And that voice in your head tells you not to go
It really makes me wonder why some things happen when they do
It really makes me wonder why it wasn't me instead of you
"Hey Kare Bear." He said quietly, taking her hand in his own. "It's Jack."
He bit down on his bottom lip, holding back tears.
"I'm sorry I couldn't go shopping with you today. I really wanted too. But, we can go shopping later this week okay. We can do a lot of things, there's time. Only two weeks before Christmas. I got you something good this year, Karen. I think you'll like it. We'll go over to Will and Grace's and we can all open presents together, and then on Christmas day we can take a carriage ride around the park like last year, remember." He lowered his head to her shoulder, and let the tears go, "I need you with me Karen. I need you."
And when you say
It doesn't matter well it does
And all it takes
Is a mistake to eat your words
Just one more time I think I'll drive on home tonight
The hours seem to flow in and out, and Jack didn't know one time from another. Time was something he had forgotten when he first got here. He was nearly shaken out of his chair when Will and Grace ran in and shook him awake. The three friends embraced, and Jack did his best to keep his composure.
Listening to the dull drone of a TV newscaster speaking somewhere on a television, the dark haired doctor was approaching them again. All three stood, and gathered around him. The Doctor let out a heavy sigh. Jack heard his words at first, but after a while he seemed to fade away. Caught up in his explanation, Will and Grace didn't see him walk past and into Karen's room. Jack stood in the doorway, it almost made him sick to his stomach to see her like that. "I'm sorry I was busy today."
And when you look it's gone
It's to late to turn around
And it's another day facing yourself and the things you've done
That night, when Jack returned to his apartment, he pulled out every single photo of the two of them he could find. They were strewn around his floor until morning. And before we went to bed, he marked out the day, Wednesday, December 4th, with a big red X.
And when you say
It doesn't matter well it does
And all it takes
Is a mistake to eat your words
Just one more time I'll think I'll drive on home tonight
The next morning, Jack laid in his bed staring at the ceiling for what felt like forever. He didn't want to get up and go live in a world without Karen. But he couldn't just lie here, if Karen was here he knew exactly what she'd say.
"Come on poodle, up and at'em, it's a brand new day and my platinum is bored."
Jack smiled, his memories of her precious.
He sat up in bed, smoothed out his mussed hair, and turned back the covers. He hadn't even set a foot on the floor when his phone rang, and although he really didn't want to, he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi poodle, are you still in bed? Come shopping with me today. We'll have fun!"
"Karen?" Jack found it hard to speak.
"Of course, honey. Who else would it be?"
Jack's eyes fell on his floor where the pictures had been, his rug was clean. He found the calender, and yesterday's X was gone. The DJ's voice came across the radio, and what he said, Jack couldn't believe.
"Good Morning Everyone, it's a beautiful Wednesday morning in New York City."
"Karen?" Jack said.
"Yeah, poodle?"
"Stay there. I'm coming over."
Rosario was nearly knocked off her feet when she opened the door and Jack pushed her aside, ran past, and into Karen's bedroom, where she sat on the bed still wearing her silk bathrobe. She didn't even have the chance to speak before Jack had her in his arms and was nearly cutting off her air. She forgot how much muscle was hidden beneath that gay exterior.
"Jack! Jack, let go!" Karen pulled away, catching her breath. "Good lord, honey. What was that all about?"
"Karen, am I dreaming?" Jack asked, taking a seat on her bed.
"What?"
"Am I dreaming? Pinch me so I know I'm not dreaming."
"Honey, have you been drinking without me?"
"I'm serious Karen, do it."
Karen rolled her eyes. Of all the strange requests. Everyday Jack just got weirder and weirder. But he obviously wasn't going to shut up about it anytime soon, so she reached over and pinched his arm.
"Ow!" Jack yelped, jumping back. There was a long silent pause. Then he looked over at her and smiled, "It's not a dream! It's not a dream! You're really here!" He took her in his arms and spun her around.
"Whoa! Whoa! Down, boy!" Karen snapped.
Jack set her down, his face turning red. "Sorry, got excited."
"Honey, what in the world is this all about?"
Should he tell her? No, wait a minute, that'll sound insane. "Oh and by the way Karen, you died yesterday, but now today is yesterday so I have a chance to change the past." That's real convincing. "It's nothing. . .I've just missed you, that's all."
"Jackie, we saw each other last night."
Jack nodded.
"But anyway honey, since you're here we are going shopping aren't we?"
Jack thought for a moment. It was the fact that he didn't go out with Karen that caused her death in the first place. No way was that going to happen again.
"Yeah, we are. I did promise Will and Grace I'd help them redecorate their bathroom, but you're more important that Chocolate Eclairs and Enya any day."
"Thanks honey, I think I'm flattered." Karen headed for her walk-in closet, "While I'm getting dressed, could you be a peach and go tell Driver to get the limo ready?"
The limo. The image of the Black Camero slamming into Karen's limo was still in his mind.
"Kare, could we not take the limo, and just walk."
"Walk? Honey, it's freezing outside. Do you know what cold temperature does to my skin?"
Jack looked down at his watch. 9:15. It was past noon when the crash happened. That give him three hours, give or take, to make sure Karen was out of the limo and far from the street by that time. "You're right, Kare. What was I thinking?"
"Great honey, now go on I'll be right down."
"Will, what time did you tell Jack to be here?"
"9:30."
"It's nearly 10:00 now, where is he?"
"Probably somewhere deciding whether to go with the black shirt or the white, depending on which one matches his shoes better."
"Will." Grace frowned, "Why are you always so mean to him?"
"I'm not mean to him, he likes it. It's Jack's way of affection. I mean, Karen is his best friend, that alone should give way to any abuse I want to put him through." Will continued to fumble with the wallpaper. "Now, tell me again why we chose the wave pattern?"
"Because, it is calming and relaxing."
"And it's making me seasick."
Grace took Will by the arm and dragged him out of the bathroom. Planting them beside the couch, Grace threw up her hands and then placed them firmly on her hips, "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"This!"
"What?"
"This! You always do this. We start something, and then right in the middle of it you change your mind."
"I'm not changing my mind."
"You said the wallpaper made you sick."
"I didn't mean literally. Well, maybe there was a little queasiness, but I can get over that. If I stand in there and wobble back and forth."
Grace slapped him on the arm. Will winced, "What was that for?"
"You hate the bathroom. You hate my idea."
"Grace, I do not."
"Yes you do!" Grace said, stomping off toward the kitchen.
"Grace."
"Bathroom hater!"
"Now listen, I. . ." The phone rang, cutting off Will's end of the argument. Frowning, he followed up with, "Will get that."
He marched over to the phone, yanked it off the hook, and growled, "Hello?"
On the other end, Jack pulled the receiver away from his ear before remarking. "What's going on over there? Are you two mud-wrestling again?"
"Hello, Jack." Will groaned, "What do you want?"
"I just wanted to let you know that Karen and I will be coming over around noon. So, be sure and have snacks and clean up a little before we get there."
"Ok." Will said, sounding unsure. "And, tell me again why you want to come over?"
"Because, you and Grace are our dearest friends and we love you." There was a pause and a snicker, "Ok not really. Let's just say we need to be there. Okay?"
"Ok."
"Perfect! See you then. Toodles!"
Setting the phone back down, Will walked over to Grace, who was coming out of the bathroom. "Who was that?" She asked.
"Jack. He said that he and Karen are coming over at noon and to have snacks and make sure the place is clean."
"Why?"
"No idea."
Jack sat at the bar of 'Le' Couchette' , the lighting dim and romantic. It wasn't a gay bar, just a quaint, hidden little delight of New York City with good drinks and good music. He watched Karen out on the dance floor, sashaying in her slinky violet-colored velour dress.
When the song stopped, Karen came over to him, smiling more than she had in a long time. "What are you sitting around for Jackie, come and dance with me."
"No, I don't think so. I'm having fun just watching you." Jack replied.
Karen pretended to look shocked, "Jack! I will not go back out on the dance floor unless you come with me. . .or they play The Divinyls, whichever happens first."
"Karen, that is so sweet." Jack said, smiling through his butterfly lashes. "Ok, I'll dance with you."
Karen pulled Jack out onto the dance floor just as the band began to play. Karen pressed herself against Jack, the two of them swaying in motion to the rhythm. It took her a moment to realize he was singing. The song was an old familiar that held a sort of comfort for her. It took her a moment to realize he was singing, and she smiled coyly. His voice was like the violin strings of a heavenly orchestra.
When somebody loved me everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy so was I
When she loved me
"Jackie?"
"Yeah? Havin' fun Kare Bear?"
"Buckets. But, I'm curious. What's the occasion?"
"Karen, there doesn't need to be an occasion. I just want to spend some time with my best friend."
Through the summer and the fall
We had each other that was all
Just she and I together like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her and I knew that she loved me
So the years went by I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone
Still I waited for the day
When she'd say I will always love you
Lonely and forgotten never thought she'd look my way
And she smiled at me and held me
Just like she used to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me
Jack leaned down close to Karen, his breath warm on her neck. He whispered something to her, and her eyes fluttered open in surprise.
"Karen. Promise you'll never leave me."
When somebody loved me everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together lives within my heart
When she loved me...
"Hello?" Jack called, rapping at the door. He waited a few moments and when no one came, he turned the knob and stuck his head in. "Hello? Hmm, looks like no one's home. Come on in."
"Honey, why are we here? I promised myself I wouldn't go into any toxic waste dumps today." Karen groaned, her face holding a look of disgust as she kicked at a discarded shirt on the floor.
"I just thought we might want a little snack before we go max out your credit card." Jack shut the refrigerator, "What kind of man doesn't have the decency to keep a good supply of food in the house for his friends?" He groaned, frustrated, "Sorry, Karen."
"That's okay. I wasn't in the mood for poor people chow anyway." She patted the couch, "Come sit with me. Come on."
Jack sulked over to the couch and flopped down, leaning his head on Karen's shoulder. They sat silent for a moment.
"Karen, does something feel strange to you?"
"What do you mean, poodle?"
"It feels like we've never done this before."
"Yeah, I, I know what you mean. It does feel different."
"Give me a kiss."
There was a hushed pause, and then, like so many times before, Jack and Karen met in liplock. But unlike all those other times, this time there was a spark behind that kiss. When Will and Grace walked in the door, Jack and Karen were still in their kiss.
What am I doing? This is crazy! It's just a kiss, you're gay, this is never going to go anywhere!
Jack's mind was screaming at him, but he held on to Karen, and she did the same. They had kissed thousands of times, they had probably kissed each other more than they had anyone else. The kiss itself was no strange thing, but it was something else. Perhaps the fact that they had been kissing for a period of thirty-seconds and counting was one.
"Ahem!" Will cleared his throat loudly.
Jack and Karen slowly parted and looked toward them, and then, they moved apart from each other, and said nothing.
Will and Grace came around the corner with an armful of grocery bags, Will looking strangely at his two friends. "Are you two okay?" he inquired.
"Fine." Jack replied, his voice cracking. "Why do you ask?"
"Well when you called you were acting weird, now you're here and you're acting weird."
"So I'm acting weird, so what? Just because I'm acting weird doesn't mean I'm not okay and it certainly doesn't mean I could possibly have romantic feelings for a woman." Jack crossed his legs and looked away from Will, who still eyed him curiously.
"Oh Jack." Grace started, setting the groceries on the counter, "Would you mind running down to my work? I forgot the curtains for the bathroom."
Karen's here, so if I go she'll still be okay.
"No problem."
"What?!" Grace, Will, and Karen did a double take.
"No problem. I'll go." Jack said, getting up from the couch. "I feel the need for that crisp December air anyway."
"Wait a second honey, I'll come with you." Karen said.
"No!" Jack yelled, startling the others as well as himself. "I mean, no, I. . . .I can go faster if you stay here."
"Faster? Honey I can just call Driver and have us there in five minutes if he runs all the red lights."
"No! No, no, no, no, no. Karen, you can't come, you have to stay here, do not go with me, do not go out, do not leave here. Please."
"Honey, what is wrong with you today? Ever since you came over this morning you've been acting. . . .weird."
"See? I told you." Will remarked.
I can't tell her. I can't tell her.
"I'm just stressed lately, it's nothing." Jack said, opening the door. "I'll be back soon. Love you, Kare."
Karen sat there, staring at the door. "Love you, Kare." He had said it a thousand times, but there was something else in his voice this time, a different tone. A tone she recognized. Karen diverted her eyes from the door now and stood, heading for the bathroom.
"You okay, Karen?" Grace asked.
"Uh, yeah. I'll be right out." Karen replied.
She went inside, shut the door behind her, and leaned against it, staying in the dark.
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
The chilly wind felt even more bitter right now combined with the thought that he was walking into her death scene. But Karen was back at Will and Grace's, safe, there was no possible way she was going to die today. No way. Jack smiled at little, his worries somewhat gone.
But there was another fear that plagued his mind. He knew if he ever lost Karen it would bring the world around him crashing down. But he never knew that given the chance to have her back he would feel like this. There was an attraction. One that wasn't there before, or maybe he was and he just ignored it. Suddenly it was 'Beauty and the Beast' except Karen didn't sing and he was much more attractive.
He looked up, letting the thoughts go for the moment, and saw Grace's work a few doors ahead. Almost at that same time, the Black Camero came barreling down the street. Jack counted the seconds off in his head, and he watched as the car slammed into a long black limousine. His heart fell.
No. She was home, she was safe. There was no way it could be her, no way. But what if it was. Maybe it was impossible to cheat death, no matter what you did.
He ran over to the car, watching the driver of the limo jump out and go running to the back. "Who is it?" Jack said, grabbing the driver by the arms. "Is it Karen Walker? Is it?"
"No sir, Mrs. Mary McCarthy. Now please let me go, I must help her." The old man replied.
Jack let go of the man and stood in the center of the street as people flocked around him to help the driver of the Camero and the passengers of the limo. It wasn't Karen, she was safe.
Jack stood still, staring off into space, paying no attention to the hustle and bustle around him, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
There was a knock at the door.
"Karen, are you sure you're okay?" Grace asked.
Karen opened the door, "Come in."
"Okay." Grace replied, puzzled.
"Um, honey. Let me ask you something, and this is purely hypothetical, but uh, let's say I had romantic feelings for Jack. And uh, still hypothetically, I wanted to act on those feelings. What should I do? And you do understand that ever though nothing I've just said is true I swear if you say a word about this to anyone I'll string you up by your good jeans and hang you out to dry."
Grace had to take a moment and let it all sink in.
"Well Karen, if you had hypothetical romantic feelings for Jack and you wanted to hypothetically act on them, I would say get a divorce, make Jack straight, and have at it."
"Honey this is no time for jokes! I'm serious! It's not hypothetical anymore!"
"Karen, are you saying you're in love with Jack?"
"Oh my god, you are that naive."
"Karen, Jack is gay."
"Really, I wasn't aware of that." Karen rolled her eyes. "I know that! But, you saw the kiss when you two walked in, tell me that was just a kiss between a gay man and his best gal pal. I bet you and Will never kiss like that."
"Actually no."
"I'm telling you honey, he wants me, and I think, maybe I want him too. And believe me, I never planned on that. Come on Grace, tell me I'm crazy and it's all in my mind. Say something."
"I think you should tell him."
"What?! Honey, don't say that!"
"I'm serious Karen. I think you should tell him. Get it out, get it into the open, better to find out now than to go on not knowing. If you're right it could be the best thing for you."
"And if I'm wrong?"
"Than you'll stare at each other in an awkward silence for a while and then pretend it never happened."
"Karen!" Jack called from the living room, he was back.
Karen looked over at Grace, who nodded back at her. Taking a deep breath she walked out of the bathroom.
I didn't know that it was so cold and
You needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out that
When the tide comes I'll take you away
When he saw her he picked her up and twirled her for the second time this day, and when he set her down he kept his arms locked around her, holding her close to him. "I love you, I love you. I never say it but I do, I love you so much, Karen."
"That's great, honey. I love you too."
Grace cleared her throat loudly.
"Um, listen Jackie, why don't we go for a little walk? I need to talk to you."
"That's good, because I need to talk to you too."
He took her hand and felt the warmth there, a calming like he had never noticed before.
Will noticed the sly smile on Grace's face when Jack and Karen disappeared into the hallway, and cocked an eyebrow.
"What's that for?" Will asked.
"What's what for?"
"That smile."
"Nothing." Grace said, quickly averting her eyes.
"You know something."
"I don't know anything."
"Yes you do, you know something. What is it?"
"I can't tell you, my jeans are at stake."
"What?"
"Karen said. . . "
"Ah-ha! You do know something!"
"Damn it!" Grace cursed herself.
"What is it?"
"I'm not telling."
"Come on."
"No, I promised."
"Will you tell me if I guess?"
"No! My god, will you just drop it."
"It's Stan! Karen wants to divorce Stan and she's trying to figure out how to stay rich at the same time."
"No."
"Karen's pregnant."
"No."
"Karen decided to become an arsonist and is on her way to set fire to the Bronx Zoo."
"No."
"What is it? Tell me! I hate when people know things I don't know."
"I'm not telling, no matter what you do or how much you beg."
"Not even for a cookie?"
"No cookie."
"Darn." Will sighed, "Oh well, it can't be that good. I mean this is Karen we're talking about. It's not as if she were in love with Jack or anything."
Grace froze, "Right, nothing like that."
If you want to I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
"Jack, I need to tell you something."
"I need to tell you something too."
"You know you're my best friend."
"You're my best friend too, Kare."
"I'd even sleep in terrycloth for you."
"I'd sleep in terrycloth for you too. As long as it was a nice shade."
"Honey, we hug, we touch, we kiss. And all this time I was ignoring what was right in front of me."
"Karen."
"Jack."
Their words came together in unison, as they had, "I'm in love with you."
There was a pause, something clicked, a veil was lifted, no matter what you call it, it all comes out the same. Jack broke into a smile, and Karen did soon after. Laughter erupted and right then and there all was right in the world. A curtain of snowflakes began to fall.
"Look honey, first snow." Karen giggled as she tried to catch them on her tongue like a child.
"Beautiful." Jack said.
"Isn't it? Like a martini with two olives."
"I wasn't talking about the snow."
Karen looked over at him, and he reached for her. Their lips touched, and the last string that was tying them down to what used to be snapped. Jack's arms snaked their way around Karen's waist, pulling her against him. She held one hand at the back of his neck and the other teased played in his short dark hair. The world went on by and time kept going as usual, but it had stopped for Jack McFarland and Karen Walker.
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
You're hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
If you want to I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
If you want to I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
If you want to I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
"Hey Gracie." Will said, walking out to the balcony where she sat. "What are you doing?"
"Looking at the stars. There's so many of them. How many do you think they're are?"
"Thousands. Hundreds of thousands." Will replied, sitting down and draping an arm around Grace's shoulder.
"I remember this story I heard when I was a little girl. It went that every time someone falls in love, another star appears in the sky." Grace pointed up to a bright star off by itself. "And that one wasn't there before."
Central Park had been deserted by most when the streetlights came on. All but Jack and Karen, who walked together through the park, watching the snow fall.
"You know what this means, don't you?" Karen asked, "It means you can't call yourself gay anymore."
"And you can't call yourself straight anymore. No, wait. . .you can't call yourself. . . .actually, nothing's changed for you."
"Oh honey, everything's changed."
"What are you going to do about Stan?"
"Worry about him later, poodle. Right now, let's focus on us."
"What are we supposed to do next? Should we tell anyone?"
"Grace knows."
"That means Will knows, or he will pretty soon. And I'll have to tell everyone on my Rolodex, and everyone at the bars, and everyone at the gym."
"Honey, all those people are on your Rolodex."
"Oh, that's right."
"I'll have to tell Stan, Rosie, the kids, get a divorce, become poor. . ."
"Does this mean we're an item? Are we supposed to move into together?"
"I don't know."
"Why do heterosexual relationships have to be so hard?"
"Honey you know how much I hate thinking. So right now, let's just live and let live and worry about all that stuff later. Because, I'm feeling a little strange sitting here beside you, and it's kind of scary. It's like I'm fourteen and in a bad high-school drama. Kiss me again."
"Karen, are we sure? I mean, you saw what happened in Chasing Amy. We'll be together, and then your best friend who is the inker for your series of comic books will get jealous and admit that she likes you as more than a friend, and you'll find out one of my deep dark secrets and to settle it you'll suggest we do a threesome, I'll say no and walk away mad, your best friend will move away and we'll meet up again five years later at a comic book convention after I've written my own comic book and you've written one with the same title as the movie and made it all about us."
"But I don't have a comic book series."
"Then we've got nothing to worry about. Everyone knows it was the comic book that caused every single problem in that movie."
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Grace mumbled, walking past Will who was eating ice cream out of the carton.
"Hey Grace."
"Yeah?"
"You never told me what you know about Karen."
"She's in love with Jack."
"Oh." Will dropped his spoon. "What?!"
"Damn it! I let it slip out!" Grace said, smacking herself in the forehead.
"Karen is in love with Jack?"
"Please don't tell her I told you, she'll kill me."
"Karen, Karen Walker, the same Karen who and I use this word loosely, works at your shop, is in love with Jack. Jack McFarland, who is gay and has never held a relationship for longer than three weeks."
"Yep."
"Grace! This is big deal! What are we going to do?"
"I didn't think we had to do anything. This is between them."
"What if she tells him?"
"I told her to tell him."
"No! You don't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Grace, number one rule of straight woman in love with gay man, never, never tell. It ruins the entire friendship."
"It worked for you and me."
"Yes, but we're normal human beings. And Jack and Karen are. . . .Jack and Karen."
"Will, listen, they'll be fine. They're adults and they can handle this. Give them a little credit."
"Fine. But don't blame me when you wake up with a roommate you didn't ask for."
I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I can't understand all the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between you and you're big dreams
It's always you and my big dreams
And you tell me that it's over
I wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover
And you're restless and I'm naked
You gotta get out, you can't stand to see my shaking
So let me go, I didn't think so
And you don't want to be here in the future
So you say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
Cause you're afraid to find that all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had crashed
And it did, because of me
And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone
And I'm sleeping in your living room
We don't have much room to live
Jack and Karen stood at the front door of her Park Avenue penthouse. The last twenty-four hours had been a turning point in both of their lives, and tomorrow held so much uncertainty. Jack took Karen's hand, knowing they could make it together.
"Goodnight, Kare."
"Night, Jackie." Karen leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."
She opened the door and went inside, and before Jack had even gotten to the elevator he could hear her arguing with Rosario. He smiled, truly happy for the first time in his life. So what if Karen wasn't Ben Affleck, he loved her and gay or not that was all that mattered.
I had these dreams that I might learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country, become a rock star
And there was hope in me that I could take you there
But damn it you're so young
Well I don't think I care
And if I hurt you then I'm sorry
Please don't think that this was easy
Then you bring me home
Cause we both know what it's like to be alone
And I'm dreaming in your living room
We don't have much room to live
And Konstantine is walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good standing in her underwear
And I was thinking, what I was thinking
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
Karen had shut herself in her closet, after all it was big enough to be considered another room. She didn't feel like facing anyone else right now. She stretched out on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, noticing the floral pattern. "Hmm, I never saw that before."
She looked over toward the doors that hid her menagerie of shoes and remembered the time Jack had given away her Chanel sling-backs to the homeless, and then she had to go and give all that money to that woman and Jack teased her for being soft-hearted the rest of the night.
He was cute when he did that.
Karen sat up. This was all to much, to fast. Relationships need time to develop. "Oh my god, what have I become? I'm like a plague, a disease, a bad fashion trend that just won't go away. I'm Grace." Karen shuddered.
My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do was touch her long blonde hair
And I've been thinking
It hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking
No they never got us anywhere
Jack sat in the dark of his apartment, curled up in bed in his favorite pajamas, and hugging a pillow. Tomorrow would bring so many changes. But why should it? Was anything really changing? Love shouldn't be this confusing, Jack thought.
This is because I can spell confusion with a 'K' and I can like it
It's to dying in another's arms but why I had to try it
It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car
When the first star you see may not be a star
I'm not your star
Isn't that what you said, what you thought this song meant
And if this is what it takes just to lie with my mistakes
And live with what I did to you, all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
It's 11:11 and now you want to talk
It's not hard to dream, you'll always be my Konstantine
Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do
No, they'll never hurt you like I do
No, no, no no no no no no
After what seemed like a short time Jack sat up in bed and looked over at his clock. 11:57.
He yawned. The night was going so slow.
Suddenly a thought struck him. What if this day was all in his mind? What if he woke up tomorrow and Karen was still gone? You can't change the past, that's crazy. No, no, it's not crazy. I did change the past, and everything's all right now. His mind was reeling. He reached for the phone and dialed her number.
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did
Hey, you know, you keep me up in bed
"I'm not losing you this time." Jack said, listening to the second ring. The clock ticked to 11:58. "Come on, Karen. Come on."
"Hello?" Karen answered.
"Karen!"
"Jack? I thought we weren't going to talk about this."
"No Karen, you don't understand! You died!" The tears started to fall.
"I what?" Karen asked, very confused.
"When I woke up this morning it was supposed to be Thursday, but it wasn't. Today is yesterday."
"Honey, you're confusing me."
This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey, maybe, baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine
"Karen, listen to me. On Wednesday you died. You were killed a car wreck, and then I woke up and you were still here and I'm afraid it's all a dream and I'm going to wake up tomorrow and you'll be gone."
"Jackie, that was probably just a nightmare."
"I don't want you gone."
"Sweetie I'm not gone, I'm right here and you'll see me tomorrow first thing in the morning. Remember I love you, poodle."
11:59
"If I wake up tomorrow and you're gone, I don't know what I'll do. Karen."
Spin me around like a dream
We played out on this movie screen and I said
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Did you know I missed you
Oh god, I missed you
"Stay on the phone with me?" Jack asked.
"Of course, Honey. But I really do think you're being silly. You should go to sleep, it's been a long day."
"I can't go to sleep. I'm afraid to go to sleep."
"How about this? We both leave our phones off the hook so if you want to make sure I'm not dead, just listen and you can hear me breathing."
"Karen, that's stupid and childish." Pause. "Okay."
12:00
Jack heard the phone go dead. "Karen? Karen? You did not hang up on me, Karen! Don't hang up!" He set the phone down and then automatically picked it up again and dialed. A busy signal was his answer. "No! Don't do this to me! I need to know you're there! Karen!"
The door opened and Will stood there in his pajamas, having heard Jack's cries from across the hall. "Jack, are you alright?" Will asked, barely viable in the darkness.
"No, I'm not alright." Jack answered, setting the phone down. "I'm not alright."
The next morning at 10:00 a.m. Jack walked into Grace's shop for reasons unknown. In the neighborhood sounded like a good excuse, he decided he would use that one. Karen's desk looked the same, all except for one thing. No Karen.
Grace came out and greeted him, and noticing the melancholy look on his face she asked, "What's wrong, Jack? Dumped this early in the day?"
"Where's Karen?" Jack asked.
Grace sighed, "Jack, why do you even ask that when you already know the answer?"
"I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's okay, it's not like it's a sin."
"I'll go, there's no reason for me to hang around here anymore."
Jack turned toward the door, and stopped dead in his tracks when the door opened and Karen walked in, shopping bags in hand.
"Hi, poodle." She greeted him with a smile.
And then you'll bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone
And you'll kiss me in your living room
I know, you'll miss me in your living room
"Karen!" Jack threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "You're still here! You're not dead!"
"Dead? Honey, what are you talking about?"
"Remember? I told you last night. But this proves I wasn't crazy, you're here!" Jack cheered, hugging her again.
"Last night? Honey I haven't talked to you since yesterday morning. I don't know what you did all day but I was out shopping."
"Oh, Jack was helping Will and I redecorate." Grace piped in.
"Really?" Karen asked.
"We gave him chocolate eclairs and an Enya CD." Grace said.
"I see. Can't resist that creamy filling, can you?" Karen giggled.
"No, I. . .there was no creamy filling." Jack took Karen by the arm and turned her around to face him, "Don't you remember, Karen? We were at the park, you were wearing the fox-fur coat, I walked you home?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Jackie, I've told you, you can't drink as much as you think you can." Karen turned away from him and pulled out her desk chair, sifting though her bags.
Jack didn't know what to say. What had happened? She was alive, but it seemed she had no memory of their little confession of love. Maybe it was all a dream. A really long, very realistic dream.
"Never mind." Jack muttered. "I'm going to go bug Will. I'll see you later."
"Oh honey, it's funny you mention my fox-fur, because I was going to wear it today. But, it was the strangest thing. It was covered in snow. I don't how that happened, there's not a flake on the ground unless you count the ones that jumped down there."
"Snow?" Jack asked.
"A lot of it. I don't know when I was in the snow but. . ." Karen's word were cut off by Jack's kiss. When he pulled away her lips still tingled. "What was that for?"
"Just because I love you." Jack said.
Because these nights I think maybe that I'll miss you
In my living room
We don't have much room
I said does anybody need that room
He opened the door and looked back at Karen, already flipping through a fashion magazine. He took a step out the door.
"Poodle?"
"Yeah?" Jack turned around.
"I love you, too." Karen said.
Because we all need a little more room to live
My Konstantine
The door to Grace Adler Designs slowly creaked closed.
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