Here you go...just some things to think about and chew on while you go about your daily life...but don't think too hard, we wouldn't want you to hurt anything...

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• Did you ever stop and think about what would have happened if Noah's Ark had hit that iceberg instead of the Titanic?

• The difference between dogs and cats: Dogs have masters, cats have staff.

• If people went by the rule "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," there would be a lot less talking in this world.

• Do you now what would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men? They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, brought practical gifts and there would be Peace on Earth.

• You notice that when you blow in a dog's face, it gets mad at you, but when you take them for a ride in the car they stick their head out the window.

• In the future, students will be able to study at the Carter Library, the Reagan Library, the Bush Library, and the Clinton Adult Bookstore.

• If you eat antipasto, are you still hungry?

• Do illiterate people fully grasp the concept of alphabet soup?

• Do Lipton workers take coffee breaks?

• Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Because by then you have his shoes, you're a mile away, and you can say whatever you waqnt about them.