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Xander - "When scary things get scared: Not good!"

Xander - "You were looking at my neck?" Angel - "what?" Xander - "You were checking out my neck I saw you!" Angel - "I wasn't looking at your neck!" Xander - "I told you to eat before we left."

Xander - "Aw a Chocolate Hurricane,I haven't had one of those since...my sixth birthday"

Willow - "It doesn't explain why she is acting like such a b-i-t-c-h." Xander - "bitka?"

Xander - "Having issues much?" Buffy - "I am not!" Xander - "You're having parental issues, you're having parental issues." Willow - "Xanderr........" Xander - "What? FREUD would have said the exact same thing.........'cept he might not have done that little dance."

Xander - "So... Buffy how'd the Slaying go last night??" Buffy - "XANDER!!??!!" Xander - "oh...i mean how'd the LAYING go?? no .....wait...i didn't mean that either.."

Xander - "Eventually leading to the ivention of the moon pie" Giles - "*laughing hysterically* Yes, moon pie, very, very good..."

Xander - "*sniff* you took a bath." Buffy - "Yeah, i often do, i'm actually known for it." Xander - "It's okay."

Xander - "All right! Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness!"

Xander - "I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."

Xander - "It's time for me to act like a man.....and hide!"

Xander - "Well, it was dark and the thing went through the window so quick. And I was a little shocked when I saw it and..." Cordelia - "Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman." Xander - "Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman too."

Xander (to Cordelia) - "No, I might die FROM you. Does that get me any points?"

Cordelia - "Well, does looking at guns make YOU wanna have sex?" Xander - "I'm 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex!"

Xander - "Angel's our friend. Except I don't like him."

Xander (to Buffy) - "I knew this 'I'm the only one. I'm the only one' was just an attention getter!"

Xander - "So, you're a slayer, huh? I like that in a woman."

Xander - "Those frat guys creep me." Willow - "You wanna protect her?" Xander - "Um hm." Willow - "And prove to her that you're just as good as those rich snotty guys." Xander - "Um hm." Willow - "And maybe catch an orgy?" Xander - "If it's on early."

Xander - "Then go! I'm not stopping ya" Cordelia - "I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!" Xander - "Not just any girl. YOU'RE special!"