Chapter 17
Morning came to soon for Gennie. Having the time of her life and going to bed at 3:30 wasn’t doing her any good today. The clock flashed 7:46 and the phone was ringing with her wake up call. She shuffled into the bathroom, checking her dismal face in the mirror. She looked and felt like hell. The shower was a shock to her system; each droplet felt as if it were piercing her tired, hung-over flesh. Not that she regretted her night on the town, but she was wondering if it was really all worth it this early in the morning. She wished she were a guy; not that she actually wanted to be one, but she figured their maleness would afford John, Mike and Robby at least another thirty minutes of sleep. They didn’t have to worry about hairstyles and makeup. A guy who looked like this could just say he had a wild night and accept that he did, indeed, look like shit. In fact, he could wear it as a badge of honor. She would not be afforded the same luxury. She hated society and its’ evil double standards this morning. As she struggled to arrange her hair in some acceptable manner, she vowed that she would buy herself a hat. Today. She applied a little make up. Enough to not look like a walking cadaver on TV, no more. She would be sure MTV knew how she’d suffered for their cause.
She walked out the door, half surprised that no one had come for her. They were scheduled to do an early morning radio show at 9 o’clock. She could hear the TV in Mike’s room so she knew he was up. She decided to knock on his door if only to prove that she didn’t always take a week to get ready. He came to the door, dressed and ready to go. Robby was sitting on the couch watching the news. “Man, I’m surprised you made it up,” Mike commented. “I wasn’t sure we’d see you this early. How’re you feeling?”
“I’ve felt better, that’s for sure,” she said stepping inside and shaking her head. “When do we go? Don’t tell me I got up and dressed for nothing.”
“We’re waiting for Johnny,” Robby announced. “He isn’t feeling very good today. I had to drag his ass out of bed. Wasn’t answering my wake up call. I had a feeling…” He looked at her over his blue lenses, “Frankly, I’m a little surprised to see you here,” he laughed.
“I’ve gotta be here. Just like you,” she shrugged. “It’s my job too right now.”
There was a feeble knock on the door. Since she was standing closest, Gennie answered it. “FUCK,” was all he had to say. He couldn’t figure out if he looked or felt worse.
Everyone took their leave and made off for the van that was waiting for them.
They began another round of promotional stops in preparation for the big show tonight. After the stop at the first radio station, they went to another and gave away some more tickets, encouraged more people to bring more food for the can drive, sang another song and chatted amiably with yet another DJ for another thirty minutes.
They then made what Gennie thought was an unscheduled stop at a hospital. At this one, the guys quietly asked Tony if he would let them do this without the camera and he agreed much to her amazement. They got out, went up to the information desk and told the attendant who they were. She smiled and called a nurse who escorted them upstairs to the pediatrics floor. Gennie had been following them this far, but when they stepped into the elevator, John asked her politely if she would mind waiting in the lobby. She understood. This was a personal mission that they held close to their hearts; it wasn’t for public display. They spent almost an hour up there and the guys stepped out of the elevator with serious faces. John walked over to her where she sat in an institutional grade burgundy waiting room chair reading a year old copy of Good Housekeeping. He took her hand and led her out to the van. “Thanks for understanding.” He smiled at her. “Some things you just don’t want to share, y’know?” It seems this was something they did regularly when they could fit it in their schedule. They did it on their own, with no input from the promotions people or management. That’s why it wasn’t on the schedule. They visited sick kids at the request of the hospitals. They had a girl from the Make a Wish Foundation who would be backstage later this evening. They wanted this, too, to be without the eye of the camera cheapening the experience for anyone involved.
The more she learned about these guys the more she loved them. This went way beyond the music; they were good human beings. They were headed back to the hotel where they were going to each be doing a couple hours worth of interviews in the hotel bar after which they would be allowed a short rest before heading to the sound check. Gennie didn’t see much opportunity to do anything but sit while they did this, so after a short stay to see what it was like, she went up to her room to go back to sleep.
Mike called Gennie’s room and told her to meet them at the bus. They were going to the venue. By the time she hung up the phone Tony was knocking on her door telling her to get up and at ‘em. She met everyone downstairs and they were on their way. For the short ride over, she lay down on her bunk and was fast asleep by the time they got there. They didn’t wake her.
Later in the evening she awoke suddenly to the sound of Robby slamming the door and yelling at John. They were having an argument about something; she tried not to listen but there was nowhere for her to go; she wasn’t sure they even knew she was in here, but where else would she be?
“Damn it, listen to me! I’m telling you, don’t fuck the whole thing up!” Robby yelled.
“Leave me the fuck alone! I’m fine,” John shot back. “Now shut up,” he hollered somewhat less loudly, “She’s sleeping back there.”
Gennie sat up at hearing that. Maybe she could make her exit gracefully, before it got worse…
“Look man,” Robby tried to reason, in a more agreeable volume, “This isn’t going to work. How can it? What are you gonna tell her when she calls tonight? ‘Sorry, there’s someone else’, or ‘hey baby, I miss you?’ You’ve got too much going on now, don’t get distracted.”
“I don’t know what I’ll say, but that’s for me to worry about, isn’t it? You don’t know, man. You don’t know what I’m goin’ through.”
From where she was sitting, she could see John at the table shaking his head as he held it in his hands. Robby was standing in the doorway to the bunks, the curtain pulled partially aside. He was getting ready to say something else, when he checked over his shoulder and found Gennie looking at them with a concerned expression, her lips pursed and her brow furrowed. John’s head snapped up at Robby’s sudden silence. He sprang from his seat, and hurried to her side, pushing Robby out of the way. Robby left quietly shaking his head.
John sat next to her, taking her hand as she sat on her bed; his eyes boring a hole in the floor. “How much of that did you hear?”
She bent down to meet his eyes. “Enough to know that everyone has something that they’d like kept quiet.” He faced her understanding smile. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that, right?” she said. “You don’t think that I was trying to put the moves on you last night do you? I was just having fun with a friend.”
“Is that what you think?” He sounded disappointed.
“I think that’s all it should be,” she admitted truthfully.
He sighed. He wanted to be up front about this. “See, there’s this other girl. We’re not really together, but we’re not really apart either. I talk to her every night after the show.”
“Sounds like a girlfriend to me,” she smiled sympathetically. She was disappointed, but she wouldn’t let her emotions or her facial expression betray her.
“No! That’s not it. It’s a weird situation. Nobody understands. I can’t explain it.” He shook his head and turned his eyes to the ceiling. “We have a relationship, sure, but not the kind of relationship that ever…goes anywhere.” He looked at Gennie as though he were trying to force the message into her brain with his eyes. “Y’know?”
“I do,” she said simply. This reminded her of the discussion she’d had with Stacey recently about her own life.
He exhaled like it was his final breath and rolled his eyes. “No you don’t. If you did, I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to explain it. It’s not what you think.”
She gave him a sideways glance; did he think she was stupid? “What the hell are you talking about? I just said I understand!” she came close to shouting. It bothered her that he didn’t think she got it when she got it all too well. She knew exactly what he meant about the kind of relationship he was describing, but that’s not what this sounded like. She wouldn’t be strung along while he had someone at home waiting for him.
He saw her blue eyes go all fiery, like she was angry, or was it something else? God, he wanted to kiss her, even with her hair messy from sleeping and a sparse application of makeup, she’d never looked more beautiful to him than she did right at this moment. He leaned in close but just as their lips were about to make contact she broke his gaze and turned her head down. “This can’t happen… it won’t work.” She sounded sad, and that hurt him more than if she’d slapped him for making such advances. He squeezed the hand that he’d been holding since he sat down. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” he murmured as he got up and walked away.
“I think you have a lot of things on your plate right now, you don’t need another one,” she whispered, not knowing if he’d even hear her. It didn’t really matter; she said it more to convince herself.
Not knowing how to face this situation, and knowing that there was the Make a Wish visitor that they wanted kept private, she decided to give John some space before the show. She would fix herself up and head out to the crowd. She was going to watch tonight from the audience.
She took her seat and watched the opening band. They were good, she’d never heard of them before, but they played their hearts out. She made a mental note to pick up their CD when she got home. When the Goos came on, they rocked like always, but she noticed that John was in a very pensive mood. He was still talkative, but didn’t tell as many jokes. She did have to laugh when he told the story about going out last night.
“Everyone’s been tellin’ me I look like shit today.” He shook his head and walked back and forth. “Let me tell ya, I feel worse than that!” The crowd laughed. “We were uptown last night.” More cheers. “Yeah, so we’re in the club and it’s 80’s night.” Mixed reaction there. “Yeah, and I’m out with my friends, and these guys are there too.” He pointed out Mike and Robby.
“Thanks man,” Robby inserted.
“No problem. So anyway, I’m there and there’s this girl, y’know. And she’s lookin’ good.” Whistles. “I mean, she’s lookin’ really good.”
“One fine lady,” said Robby. He grinned at Gennie who blushed visibly.
“She was, she was.” He looked to Gennie occasionally during his story. “So she says to me she wants to dance.” More cheers. “Y’know, and I’m like, ‘I don’t dance.’ But she goes, ‘Dude, it’s Prince!’” Loud cheers. “I know, I like him too, but I’m still no dancer, y’know. So then The Cure comes on,” Another mixed reaction. “And she goes ‘I love the Cure’ y’know, so she says ‘ya gotta dance with me now!’ So finally I give in, y’know. I say ‘ok, I’ll do it’ But I still don’t dance, right? So she goes ‘Rzeznik, that’s Polish, right?’ and I’m like, ‘yeah.’ So she says…she says…” He started laughing.
“What’d she say, man?” Robby said barely able to get the words out for all the giggling.
“She says to me, ‘let’s polka!’” The crowd goes wild with laughter. “Yeah, y’know, so I’m like, Ok. So we polka.”
Robby looked at Gennie with a huge smile, “It’s true! I have pictures.”
“It’s too true. I polkaed to The Cure. Robert Smith is gonna kick my ass for that someday.” He shook his head. “The things ya do for a woman…. Did I mention I was really fucked up last night? Robby can tell ya, I was. But I wasn’t the only one, y’know. There’s, like, an alcohol shortage today because we drank so damn much last night. Yeah, like, somewhere in Edina there’s a guy sittin’ in front of his TV watchin’ the game, y’know, completely surrounded by NO BEER!” The crowd laughed. “He’s like, ‘Honey, get me a cold one, will ya?’ and she goes ‘Sorry, we ain’t got any.’ ‘Well, go to the store then’ ‘Nope they’re all out.’ ‘Whaddaya mean they’re all out?’ ‘Nothin’, zip, zilch, nada.’ ‘Ok, I’ll go to the bar then.’ ‘Nope, no booze there either’ ‘What the hell do you mean no booze?’ ‘See, there was this band in town last night….” The audience loved the story. Even Gennie had to laugh; he told a pretty good tale.
Throughout the show he made references to trying to impress someone and hoping that they notice. Like she wasn’t noticing him! How could she not? She wondered if he was trying to make her feel bad because if he was, it was working. He was acting like she’d broken his heart when, in fact, it was her that had been hurt. He had a girlfriend whether he wanted to call her that or not. It didn’t matter what he said, Robby seemed to think she was his girlfriend, and who else would know better? Why couldn’t he just see that they were best off being friends? She hoped that this issue that had cropped up today wouldn’t complicate the rest of the week. ‘Lotsa luck’ she thought to herself.
She left before they came back for the encore. Tony caught up with her and said she was being a little too elusive today. He’d cut her a break earlier since he knew she had a wild night, but she needed to be more visible now.
“I’ll try Tony, but there just hasn’t been anything going on.”
“Just be out here, be social.” He had orders to be her shadow, and he planned to do it.
Stepping on to the bus, she agreed to come out and be more visible. “Just let me make a phone call first, alright? I just need some quiet.”
Tony shook his head, “You pick here to get your peace and quiet?”, but she had already gone in and shut the door behind her.
Once inside, she rummaged around in her purse to find her phone. She hadn’t called Stacey since she’d been gone and she figured now was as good a time as any. She sat on the couch and dialed the phone. “Hello?” Josh answered.
“Hi, Josh! How’s it goin’?”
“Hey Gen! How’re you? Havin’ a great time?”
“I really am! They’re a lot of fun. Hey man, I’d love to chat longer, but I don’t have a lot of time. Is Stace where I can talk to her?” She lied about the time part, she wasn’t hurrying for the cameraman, but she wasn’t really in the mood for small talk either.
“Gennie, honey, how’s it goin’? Are you having the time of your life?”
“I think so. We had such a great time last night. We’re here in Minneapolis and we went to a club and had a wonderful time! They’re just finishing up on stage right now, so I thought I’d steal a minute to call you.”
“So what’s up? Tell me all about it!” She would’ve loved every juicy detail, but knew she’d have to settle for the abridged version for the time being.
“It’s been…interesting.” She proceeded with caution, unsure of what to say about her current confusion.
“You’re getting along with everyone? No one’s killed each other yet, I take it.”
“Yeah, we get along great. Mike and Robby are such sweethearts. And…” she lingered too long on that last word and was cut off.
“And John?” Stacey recognized the tell tale sound in Gennie’s voice; something was up in this department.
“That’s the funny thing. We get along really well. Too well. It’s like we think the same way, y’know. It’s cool.” Just telling her friend this much made her feel better about things. Stacey was always a big help, even when she didn’t realize it.
“Really? That’s good. Just don’t go replacing me!” she laughed then quickly moved on to other things. “What’s it like being ‘on tour’ and living on a bus?”
“The bus is really nice. I have my own little room, kind of. It’s not as bad as it could be, but the hotels are much nicer. It’s kind of crazy. Everywhere we go it’s like a mob. We don’t go out much. Well, we’re always busy, so we can’t anyway, but girls, girls, everywhere!” she laughed.
“Sounds like you’re havin’ fun. So where to next?”
“We’re goin’ to Kansas City. I think we’re leaving tonight. Then we’re off to St Louis. I’m looking forward to that. I’m supposed to have a day off! I’m looking forward to ditching the camera guy for a while,” she laughed.
“Yeah, how’s that going, anyway?”
“Not as bad as I’d thought. I pretty much just ignore ‘em. They follow me everywhere, so I almost forget they’re there. But, speaking of…I hafta go cause they’re wanting me to be more visible. Gotta go out and smile for the camera,” she added facetiously. “It bugs them that I spent most of today sleeping off a hangover. I’ll talk to you again when I get a chance. Bye, Stace. Say hi to Meggy and Alex.” She disconnected and sat there for a minute before going out to earn her keep. The show had ended and the swarm of fans was growing at the back gate. She grabbed her small camera and carried it with her. They were in no hurry to get on the road tonight, so there would be an opportunity to visit with the crowd this time. At the moment, some of the guys from the opening band were chatting with the myriad of fans, mostly girls.
When she stepped off the bus, Tony was waiting for her. He motioned for her to follow him to the area where the band was waiting. “They’re looking for you,” he said. She went to the area where everyone was standing around; it was like they were waiting for something to happen.
Robby approached her, a big grin on his face. “So you’ve been immortalized in a tale from the road! Whaddaya think?” He chuckled and threw an arm around her shoulder leading her into the heart of the backstage activity. “Pretty good story, I thought.”
“It was, it was.” She shook her head. “I guess it’ll be all over the internet soon.”
“HA! You know it! In about fifty different versions!” he cackled.
She rolled her eyes, “At least.” She held up her camera, “Hey, I want to get some stuff of you and your followers,” she motioned toward where the crowd was gathered just out of their view. “You gonna go out there anytime soon? No rush, but I’d like to get that moment when they see you, y’know. Don’t wanna miss a single scream!” she snickered.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he teased. “Give us a little bit. I gotta get cleaned up before I do anything. In the mean time, come look alive! You’ve been hiding a lot today.” They had a seat at a picnic table set up backstage. Off in the corner, she saw John taking his phone call, his back to everyone. It looked like he was having a pretty intense conversation.
“So did ya enjoy the show? Or has it gotten boring already?” Mike asked from across the table as he munched on french fries.
“No, it’s not boring. I had fun. It’s not every day a girl gets a story told about her that makes her sound like a freak!” she laughed.
“It ain’t you that’s the freak,” Robby quipped tossing his head back in John’s direction.
“I’m seriously considering posting one of those pictures on the Daily. I think it would be a riot! I wouldn’t tell him about it, of course,” he chuckled conspiratorially. “Whaddaya think? Should I do it?”
“Go for it, man. He’ll never even know. It’d be priceless when someone shows him that- ‘oh Johnny, sign this picture for me!’ He’d just die!” Mike cheered Robby on.
Robby craned his neck to see John from where he sat. “So, Gen, you think I should? You’re in it too…I won’t do it without your OK.” He looked to her for confirmation.
She blushed, “I know I ‘d love to see it if I were them,” she looked over her shoulder in the direction of the entrance. “I guess I can be OK with it since no one knows me. As long as you pick one where he looks like a bigger fool than me!” she giggled. “You do what you have to do.”
“Gimme a few minutes to think about it,” and he trotted off to the shower.
Mike finished up his fries and looked John’s way. He was still on the phone. “Must be some phone call tonight. He’s usually on and off in a couple of minutes,” he stated matter-of-factly. “She’s a strange one, that girl.”
It would seem that Mike knew nothing of the discussion earlier in the evening. “Who’s that?” Gen asked innocently. Maybe she’d get an unbiased opinion of this girl from him.
“His…I dunno…girlfriend? I’m not sure what you call her. She’s around a lot and she calls all the time. She’s nice, but,” he leaned in close, “don’t tell him I said this but, I think she’s a little weird,” he said with a grimace.
She laughed at his explanation of this girl. “He likes her, I guess that’s all that matters.” Really, she wanted to know more, but she didn’t want anyone to realize that fact.
“He thinks she’s Ok, but I don’t think he’s that crazy about her,” he sighed. “But that’s just my opinion. Between you, me and the lamppost, I think she’s just along for the ride,” he shrugged, “what do I know though, y’know?”
She was about to ask more, but John ended his call and was walking over to them. “You wanna meet some of the crazy people we call our fans?” He was smiling as if everything was all right now. He wasn’t the tense guy he seemed to be just minutes earlier.
“Let’s go!” Grabbing her camera, she elbowed Mike sitting beside her, “You coming too?” she asked.
“In a minute,” he said as he got up from the table and walked the opposite direction.
She and John headed off to the crowd that was just around the corner. “You’re not gonna stink up the bus tonight, are you?” she teased, noticing that he hadn’t showered yet.
He grinned at her. “You hardly know me and you’re givin’ me shit. I can’t catch a break.” He good-naturedly pushed her aside, “Yeah, I’m gonna take a shower, ya ninny!”
As they walked along she observed that somehow, everything was fine again, like she had her friend back. It made her wonder, but she was relieved nonetheless. They reached the end of the wall that separated them from the mob. “You got that thing on?” He bobbed his head toward her camera.
She nodded.
He smiled devilishly, “Watch this…” And he stepped into view. The sudden screams were deafening. She was just a step behind him when he turned to face her, a beaming smile on his face. Not in an arrogant or affected way. Rather, it was as if, after all this time, he still couldn’t believe he held that kind of influence over people. She found it endearing. He genuinely enjoyed himself when he was talking with his fans.
John smiled for pictures, doled out hugs and kisses, accepted gifts, signed autographs and showed off his tattoos for anyone who would ask. He was about as gracious as they come. He did the honors by himself for a good ten minutes before Robby bounded out of the building. The screaming frenzy started all over again. A few minutes after that, Mike showed up and took over for John who left to shower. Gen stood back and filmed at first from a distance, and then as the crowd grew a bit less rambunctious she moved in closer to get a better view. Gennie was disappointed to see that several of the girls left when John did. How could they call themselves fans if they were only interested in one person? Over the course of an hour, the guys would come and go as they went about their business and got ready to head out for to Kansas City. Gennie even stepped up to talk to a few of the fans after she was called aside by one of them.
“Who are you?” one girl bravely asked. “Are you one of their girlfriends?”
Gennie was glad for the girls sake that her answer was no. They seemed so emotional about everything. But she understood, having been a teenage girl once herself. “No, I’m just traveling with them. It’s for MTV.” She pointed out Tony, “He’s filming me film you basically,” she laughed.
“So you’re on MTV? I’ve never seen you.”
“No, I’m not on MTV, I’m just doing this for them.”
“Who are you then, and how do I get a job like that?” she giggled. “Do you really go everywhere they go?” She was amazed.
“Yep. For a week anyway. This is my second show. I was with them in Denver a few days ago.”
“You rode on the bus with them?” She could hardly believe this!
“Uh huh.” Gennie smiled. It was just beginning to sink in just how coveted her mission was.
“Oh My GOD!! You know John?” The girl acted as if she’d discovered gold.
Gennie just nodded.
“NO WAY!” She paused to think of her next question. “Did you go out with them last night? Did you go to Uptown with them?”
“Yeah, unfortunately.” Gen grinned sheepishly. “I still have the headache to prove it,” she giggled. “It was a wild night out.” She realized that she wasn’t just talking about anyone to anyone like she could’ve done at home. These people knew who she was talking about. She figured she’d better be a bit less forthcoming. “You got to meet them all didn’t you?” She was trying to change the direction of the conversation before it got to questions about the kind of underwear they wear, which she didn’t know anyway.
“Yeah, we got all their autographs, didn’t we Alex!” The girl and her friend beamed with pride.
“Then what are you still doing here? It’s late. I’m not trying to get rid of you, cause you’re welcome to stay as long as they’ll let you,” she pointed out the security guards who were ever present. “But I know the band will be leaving soon. I’d hate for you to miss your ride or anything. Did you get some pictures taken?” She’d noticed a camera hanging from one girl’s shoulder.
“No,” she said sadly, “Megan and I forgot we had the camera. I’m so pissed.”
Gennie winked, “Don’t leave just yet, OK? I’ll be right back.” And she walked back to the bus. She couldn’t pass up these two girls with the names of her best friends kids. A few minutes later, when most of the crowd had already left, John, Mike and Robby hopped out and made their way to the two girls. Their eyes got as wide as saucers.
“I hear you didn’t get a picture,” John said to them.
Robby smiled brightly, “I know I talked to you earlier, but tell me your name again.”
“I’m Megan and this is Alex.” They were both shaking.
“Well, Megan and Alex, you have any film in that thing?” Mike said pointing to the camera that was still slung over her shoulder.
“Oh yeah!” she took the camera out of the case and wondered nervously who would snap the photo. Mike grabbed it from her.
“Smile!” And he took their pictures. They got several photos with each of the guys and then said good-bye, getting a good night kiss from each of their three favorite band members.