Chapter 22

As the bus rolled into St Louis, John made a quick call. “Hey, Dave, I’m gonna need a car today.  Can you set it up to have one delivered to the hotel?…Yeah… Something fun….OK, that sounds fine…Yeah?…Right…Oh, nothing…I don’t know, maybe cruise around a little…Hey, thanks man.” He disconnected and turned to Gennie who was sitting on the couch watching TV. “OK, we’re all set.  It’ll be there when we check in.”

Robby gave him a knowing look.  “Does he realize what your plans are?”

“Uh, no. Don’t tell him either, cause he’ll just get pissed. Got that Gen?” he said with a grin. “Keep your mouth shut on this one.  He’d have a damn coronary if he knew I was spending the day with you.”

 Gen peered at him from the corner of her eye, “You’re kidding, right?  Why would he care?”

 John glanced at Robby and chewed his lip before he turned his eyes back to Gennie. “He wouldn’t want me or any of us, getting too, um, ‘involved’ with you.  That’s been kinda forbidden.  I mean, you saw your contract right? Well, same goes for us.” He shrugged with a guilty smile, “I guess you’re forbidden fruit.”

 She thought about that statement; it had very interesting connotations, didn’t it? “Really?” was all she could say.  The contract had crossed her mind.  At times, it was the invisible barrier that kept her from feeling hurt if something bothered her, like their argument the other day.  She wondered exactly how obligated she was to honor this agreement. She decided she’d ask this afternoon.

 They pulled up to their hotel at eleven, an hour behind schedule.  When they got out they saw the rental car pull up in front.  They would be spending their day driving around in a silver Honda S2000 convertible.  Gen hoped she could drive it.

 Robby nudged Johnny as he was waiting to check in. “Dude why don’t you guys just get the car and go.  She’s gotta be somewhere at twelve, right?  I think that’s across town,” he looked to Gennie to confirm this fact. She nodded.  “I’ll check you in,” He smiled at them; they looked like a couple of kids at the moment. They felt like a couple of kids who don’t want ‘dad’ to discover what they’re up to. This struck Robby as being really funny. “Gen,” he rolled his eyes at his conspiratorial role in this then practically busted a gut laughing so hard at the mere thought, “Go tell Dave that you’re leaving for the afternoon.  Say someone’s coming to pick you up, or something, and go wait by the side entrance.  I don’t want you to get in trouble,” he chuckled, “Dave can be a bitch sometimes.”

 “Cool.  Thanks man.”  John gave him a hammy wink and a thumbs up and walked over to the concierge to get the car keys and left, swinging around the side to get Gen.

 “You don’t mind if I drive, do you?  I haven’t done it in a while, y’know.”  He laughed, “Besides, I feel like fuckin’ James Bond or something the way we snuck outta there.”

 Gennie giggled, “I know, it’s kinda fun, isn’t it? But I felt more like I was fifteen; more guilt than intrigue.”

 “So, where are we going?”

 She gave him directions and they roared down the highway in their sleek rented convertible. She watched him driving.  He looked so good with his baseball cap and sunglasses.  She was glad he’d worn a shirt with at least short sleeves; they covered most of his tattoos.  Not that she didn’t love them, but as they neared their destination, even though it was a restaurant in almost the middle of nowhere, she was beginning to have doubts about her promise to keep him from being recognized.  Those tattoos could be more like a brand and she wondered if he ever thought of them that way.  Of course, he did have a pretty distinctive face and there wasn’t much he could do about that, not that anyone would want him to.

 They didn’t talk much, but it wasn’t uncomfortable in the least.  In fact, their comfort with their silence spoke volumes.  It didn’t at all have the self-conscious feel of a first date; where you suppose you have to keep talking lest the other person find you boring. This was more like the relaxed calm of old friends. She was glad he had joined her.  It wasn’t about bragging rights when she got back home; it was about offering him something he rarely found being John Rzeznik: peace, solace, anonymity.

 Lunch went off without a hitch, short of Gennie’s friend being more than a little startled by her unexpected dining companion. No one recognized him. Rather than being upset by this fact, he found relief in it. He could be a normal person again. No requests for autographs or pictures, no girls screaming, no one babbling senselessly while he tried to eat his dinner. It had been a while.  Even in California, where he was often left alone, he was still recognized.  He was aware of the silent, knowing stares and the overindulgent handling.  In some ways, it was much worse than when fans came up to him. At least he knew they liked him.  The staring and special treatment often grated on his nerves. How he wished sometimes that he could go back to the early days in Buffalo when he could do whatever he wanted and nobody gave him a second look.  There were days that made him swear that it wasn’t worth it.  This day wasn’t one of them.  Today, he received affirmation that he was still a Regular Joe.  He didn’t know how he could thank her because there was no way she could ever understand how appreciative he truly was.

 The afternoon found Gen behind the wheel this time.  She led them to the little town she grew up in and pointed out places of interest in her life- the house she grew up in, the Catholic school she attended, the playground where she used to play.  Not that she thought he’d actually find them the least bit interesting, but it was something to do that was far from the maddening crowd, and it gave them a chance to talk.  The more they learned about each other, the more they found they had in common.  They both came from close knit families, they both had gone to parochial school and been raised in strict Catholic homes, they’d listened to lots of the same music as kids, they liked and disliked the same foods, the list went on and on. Her life had been free of a lot of the sadness he’d faced but they both came from the same place essentially.

 “It’s funny how two people who are fundamentally so similar have lives that are on such divergent paths,” she commented with a sense of irony as they headed back toward the city, having seen all there is to see in the country.

 “I don’t think we’re that different really.  I mean, my life isn’t calm and ordinary like yours anymore,” he took off his cap, ran his fingers through his hair, put it back on, “but who I am isn’t that different. Y’know?”

 “Oh, give me a break.  Your life is totally different than mine.  You’re….you! Once I‘ve gone back to Oklahoma, you’re going to still be a ‘celebrity’,” she shuddered, she hated that word. “You’re going back to your big house in LA and you’re gonna be everything that I’m not!”

 His face wore a mixture of hurt and defiance as he argued his case. “That’s just my job!  That’s not who I am! And the celebrity thing…it sucks sometimes, but it’s part of the game. I’d never choose to live in LA, you know. I’m not like that.” It bothered him to think that she was turned off by his life. He was getting to feel closer to her every minute; he didn’t want her to start to pull away now. “I know, deep inside, that I’m not unlike you. I think we probably want the same things out of life.  Sure, we go about it differently, but our goals, our values are probably pretty similar.  It’s who you are inside that counts, dude.” He flashed his winning smile.

 She glanced away from the road for a second.  He was feeling pretty passionately about this point. She conceded. “Ok, that’s true,” she said returning the smile.  She thought now would be a good time to change the subject, “So what do you want to do now?” She got a mischievous grin.  “I don’t want to go back to the hotel yet, and it’s too early to eat, besides I’m not hungry….Any ideas?”

 “Why the hell are you askin’ me?” he teased.  “I got no idea what we should do. Let’s go somewhere and just sit. I mean, what the hell, it’s a gorgeous day.”

 She drove him to Forest Park, a beautiful old park just outside the city.  It was a big place and there was plenty of room to lose yourself amidst all the people. They found a parking place near the Art Museum and made their way down to a spot on a hill where they sat side by side on the lawn overlooking a pond.  There were plenty of people around, but mostly families on picnics, or people playing Frisbee with their dogs; no one who was going to pay them any attention.

 “So,” Gen sighed, “You’ve heard every last boring detail of my life today.  Talk to me about you.”

 He leaned back, his elbows on the grass, stretching out his legs. “You probably already know a lot about me.  My life has sorta become a commodity.  Too many people know too much.” He wistfully gazed at the water. 

 The thought had occurred to Gennie that she was at an unfair advantage in their friendship.  She knew quite a bit of significant information about him, and he knew virtually nothing about her. It made her feel bad that this was the case; guilty almost, like she’d peeked at a gift she hadn’t yet been given.  She wished she could give back all the details she’d learned so that they could start with a clean slate. “I feel really bad about that.  I almost wish I didn’t know anything about you,” she glanced skyward, realizing that her comment sounded a little peculiar.  “OK, That sounded bad, but y’know, it’s so unfair.”

 “I know what you meant,” he said with a bashful smile. “It’s Ok though.  Don’t feel bad for me. I’m fine with it.”

 “I know, but still, it feels weird. Tell me something I don’t know.”

 “Um, well, let’s see….I puked on a girl once,” the odd memory caused him to chuckle.

 “Just once?”

 “Uh huh.”

 “Once isn’t so bad…unless you were on stage or something.  Then it’s just gross,” she laughed.

 “I wasn’t.”

 “Ok. We are a lot alike then, cause I did that once too.” They both had to giggle.

 Deep in thought, he cocked his head and stared blankly at a point off to the side trying to come up with the ultimate obscure fact about him. “Uh,” he blushed a little, “I got pretty high before my wedding.”

 Gen rolled her eyes and smiled, “Shit, I wish I had done that.  At least then I’d have an excuse.” She paused to look him squarely in the eye.  “Why do I get the feeling that you’re telling me things that are of little or no significance to you…if they’re even true?!” she said accusingly, but with a smile. 

 He raised his eyebrows, “They’re true!  And you never told me you were married.”

 “I was married.”

 “But you weren’t stoned.”

 “Right.”

 He looked at her expectantly, “And…”

 “Now I’m divorced.”  She was being coy, she knew he wanted to know more, but she was enjoying his curiosity. She let him know that he wasn’t prying by flashing him a huge grin.

 “Me too. We’re still friends though, how about you?”

 She chuckled, “No. He was a jerk.”

 “Yeah?  He didn’t hurt you or anything?”

 “Oh God, no.  Nothing like that.  He was just a jerk.  I’m not submissive and he was possessive. He wanted me to be the little woman and,” she made a disgusted face, “he couldn’t even handle that I kept my maiden name.  The ass.”

 “Oh. Some guys feel strongly about that.”

 “Do you?  Don’t tell me you’re that antiquated.”

 He sat quiet for a moment, trying to think of the right words to say.  “I hope I’m not antiquated, but my wife took my name.  Sorry.”

 “You don’t have to apologize unless you forced her to do it. And then, you need to apologize to her. If she did it willingly, no problem.”

 “She did.  I guess she did. I wouldn’t force her to do anything.”

 “Good.”  She looked around the park and noticed all the families with kids, “So you have lots of nieces and nephews, don’ t you?”

 “Yep,” he said with pride. “I have pictures of ‘em all back on the bus.  I’ll have to show you.  How ‘bout you?  Lots of kids in your family?”

She shook her head, “Not too many.  I have a nephew, Cole, but I don’t see him too much. My brother lives in Ohio.  Stacey’s kids are really closer to me.”  She sported a bright smile, “I love Meggy and Alex like they’re mine.”  She giggled, “I have to tell you, when I found out I got to do this, I went over to tell Stace; the kids got so excited and Alex and Meggy wanted to come along.  So Stace says no, cause it’s not something they’d like so Meggy says, ‘Alex can’t go cause he’s a boy, but I love dolls Mom!’” Gen shrugged, “ I told her she could watch on TV.”

John laughed, “Oh man, is she gonna be disappointed!”

“Nah, I think when she sees it she’ll think I had a good time.”  A colorful kite soaring in the sky caught her eye as she remarked, “I probably should stop by a toy store before I go back though. I’d feel so bad if I didn’t bring them anything.  I really miss ‘em, y’know.”

 They both sat silently. Gen watched as the kite swooped through the air.  She assumed he was watching too. When she looked at John to comment on it, she noticed he was entranced by something on the other side of her; a faraway look in his eyes.  She turned her head to check out what held his attention so firmly. She beheld a happy family not far from where they sat.  They had a little girl who looked to be about one.  Mom was watching her take what Gen imagined were her first steps while Dad got it on the video camera, shouting encouragement all the while. They were an endearing family and it made her smile.

 “Isn’t she beautiful?” John finally uttered.

 “She is. She’s a gorgeous baby. They’re a gorgeous family.”

 “They look so happy.”

 She was still smiling. “They do, don’t they?”

 “I love kids.” It wasn’t the statement he was expecting to make, but it just kind of popped out much to his surprise.

 His comment had startled her.  Gennie turned her gaze back to John who she found was now staring intently at her. Her breath caught in her throat.  There were those alluring baby blues again. She couldn’t resist the magnetism of his eyes. When she peered into them, the world around her ceased to exist, there was no one else on earth; her heart pounded harder, her breath was unsteady, and she constantly felt like she was blushing.  Come to think of it, her whole day had felt that way. She didn’t want to admit it, but it was getting hard to deny.  ‘Oh my God,’ she kept repeating in her head, “I think I’m in love. I think I’m in love with Johnny Rzeznik.’ This was not what she had planned and it was not convenient in the least. Her stay with them was almost over and she didn’t see how she could keep kindling this flame when it was over. Being in love with him was a hopeless case.  Women fell for him like this everyday. Theirs was a deep friendship that she hoped they could maintain. She didn’t want to spoil that. It was wrong of her to expect more. But, oh, how she wished it could be.  All this time she’d been waiting for the perfect guy…well, she’d found him.  He just wasn’t all that attainable.

 He sat up so they were now side-by-side leaning back on their hands. “Something else I haven’t told you,” he revealed as he stared off into space,  “is that I’m…uh…that other girl, she’s…um…it’s over.  I called and told her we were through.  I’m sorta, I dunno,” he smiled timidly as he looked out at the pond, “available.” He turned his eyes back to her.

 Gennie’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she craned her neck forward to stare at him in disbelief.  Was he saying he was available for her?  She was almost embarrassed to ask, “You did this for me?”  She knew he had, Robby had told her, but it sounded so much different coming from John himself that she almost didn’t believe it.

 His eyes never moved from hers, “Of course.” He watched as she just stared at him like she was in shock. “How could you not know that?  I’ve never been so drawn to a person in all my life!” He reached over and tucked a windblown strand of hair behind her ear.  “Are you willing to take a shot at this?”

 She raised her eyebrows quizzically and looked from side to side, “Are you kidding?” She had a fit of giggles, which John found infectious.  “In my whole life I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed being around anyone as much as I’ve enjoyed being with you these past four days!”

 He knew what she meant. No one had captivated him in quite the way she did, she made him feel things that he hadn’t thought he was capable of feeling. It was inspiring, actually.  Really inspiring.  He couldn’t quite explain it, but she reminded him of all the best parts of his mom and his sisters and his best friends all rolled into one desirable creature.  How did she do it? She loved to laugh, she had a great smile, she liked to have fun and wasn’t afraid to do something stupid- he thought back to the night in the club. She was pretty, but not drop dead gorgeous in a Cindy Crawford kind of way- except for that night in Minneapolis. She was pretty in an ordinary sort of way that was far more appealing than the unobtainable beauty of a supermodel. He found her every bit as stunning when she woke up, her hair clipped back, no contacts and no makeup her face, as she did all made up and dressed to kill. She was a regular person and that reminded him that no matter what his life was like on the outside, inside he was still one too.

 He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the ear, then taking her chin in his hand and turning her face to his, kissed her on the lips. “It’s so nice to have a break from that camera.  I’ve been dying to do this,” he whispered with a smile.

 She practically felt like she would cry. The moment was so overwhelming for her she could barely contain herself.  “I just…I…I never expected this.  What’s so interesting about me? Why do you pick me?” Her eyes went big, “You could have anybody!”

 He stared intently at her, “I know.” He kissed her lips again quickly.  “At least, I hope I can.”

 “Me?  Why?”

 His eyebrows pushed together into a frown and the corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile, “You can’t tell?”  A giant grin spread across his face.  “You drive me crazy.  You see me for who I am. You’re not into me because I’m a ‘rock star’.  I don’t have to be anyone for you, just me.”

 “I kinda knew we’d end up friends, but..”

 “I’m hoping that’s isn’t all. I have so much fun with you, I don’t want it to end.” He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close.  They shared another kiss, “Whaddaya say we put on some real clothes and go eat someplace nice?  Know anywhere good?”

 She looked at him over her shoulder, “Yep.”

 Then he started tickling her, “Now how about you give me the keys to that car and we get out of here!”

 She surrendered the car keys and they sped off back to the hotel.  As they strode into the lobby hand in hand, they saw Robby coming out of the restaurant. He’d just completed another interview with a columnist from the newspaper. 

 “Hey man, how was your day?” Robby asked hopefully.

 “Couldn’t have been better!” John grinned. He gave Gen a peck on the cheek. “Your room key should be at the desk.  I’ll be up in a little bit after I get changed.” She walked in the direction of the front desk and John and Robby headed into the bar for a mini conference. 

 Taking a seat at the bar, Robby announced, “So, things look good for you!”  He was obviously pleased for his friend.

 “Great!” John replied smugly as he lit up a cigarette.

 “Cool.  What’d you do?”

 “Had lunch with her friend, went to the town she grew up in and she showed me around, then we ended up in this great park.  Now we’re gonna go out for dinner.” He took a swallow from his bottle. “How’d your day go?”

 “Not bad.  Mike and I went down to the casino for a little while.  Ate lunch on the boat.  Big spread they got there.”

 “Cool.” John nodded his head.

 “I guess you didn’t see Dave?”

 “No, should I have?”

 “He’s been looking for you.  You turned your phone off I guess.”

 “Nope.  Left it on the bus.  What’s he want?”

 Robby chuckled.  “I guess he knows who you were with today and he isn’t happy.”

 “Fuck ‘em.  I’ll do as I damn well please.” He rolled his eyes and took another drink. “He forgets he works for us.”

 “Yeah, but just the same, don’t be too obvious, it’ll just make him mad and he’ll probably only get pissy with Gen.” Robby leaned an arm on the bar as he turned to face John and pointed at him with his beer bottle. “Did you tell her about your phone call?”

 John ran his fingers through his hair and let out a tremendous sigh, “Yeah, I did.  She’s cool with it. But dude, what am I gonna do when she leaves?  Every day we’ll get a little farther away from her and she can’t keep followin’ us around. She’s got a job.” He was beginning to miss her already, just thinking about it.

 “She’s not gone yet! We’ll be done in a few weeks, then you can see her again.”

 “Yeah, then we go to Europe!”

 “Oh come on, that’s only for, what, two weeks?  You’ll survive, man.”

 John slouched forward at the bar and stared into space, casually taking another swallow of Bud. “That’s not it.  I know I’ll survive.  It’s just our time together’s been too damn short, y’know.”

 Robby just shook his head and said with a laugh, “You sound like a lovesick teenager, man. Just finish your beer and get the hell outta here!” He gave him a playful punch in the arm.

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