Chapter 37
Gennie sat on the well-used couch in John’s living room and checked out her surroundings while she waited for him to return from Laurie’s house with the car. Kate had dropped her off here and let her in before apologizing profusely for abandoning her. It seems she really did have to be somewhere this afternoon. The apartment was in a building in a decent part of town, but not what Gennie would call affluent by any means. By the way it was decorated, she gathered that he spent little time here. The furnishings were eclectic to be sure. It looked as if they’d had previous lives as members of other people’s households before being retired here. She guessed they came from his sisters’ homes.
As befitting an all but abandoned apartment, there were no plants and few decorations. There were some pictures hanging randomly on the walls- more of his sister’s rejects, she figured. There were several framed photographs scattered about, mostly of kids whom she recognized as his nieces and nephews, but also a few of him from the early days, judging by the hairstyles and colors. She got up to take a closer look. There was one of John, himself, that was immediately endearing. In it he sported an enormously teased and heavily sprayed mess of platinum blond hair and a tough looking leather jacket as he stood in what looked like some kind of bar or rehearsal space, but in his arms he held a brand new baby, looking every bit like a proud uncle. There was another of him and Robby looking like they’d drained a keg somewhere. Those two always looked like they had so much fun. Seeing these views from the early days it made her appreciate how great it was that they’d kept it together and had achieved success.
A bright flash followed by a loud clap of thunder heralded the arrival of yet another even heavier downpour. The power flickered from time to time. Being from Oklahoma, Gen was accustomed to dealing with stormy weather so she decided to scope out some matches and a candle in case they lost power. With the heavily overcast skies, it was looking pretty dark even though it was only afternoon. She didn’t want to be stuck alone sitting in a completely darkened room. She headed for the kitchen and pulled out drawer after drawer until she located a box of matches. She noticed the floweredy dishtowels hanging on the oven door and figured another sister must have placed them there; they hardly looked like some thing John would pick. She chuckled at that and realized that they must have put lots of this stuff here, maybe as a joke. It was a pretty subtle one, but funny, really. The faded, dusty pink and blue silk flower arrangement on the table and the pink flowered placemats hardly seemed fitting for ‘rock star’ digs. The ‘Aloha Hawaii’ hula girl salt and pepper shakers, were only a little more down his alley she guessed.
The kitchen and dining area may have held the matches, but there were no candles to be found. She thought John seemed like a candle guy, so she investigated further. The bookshelves in the living room didn’t have any candles either…mostly just pictures and some old books. Upon seeing some of the titles, she laughed and made a mental note to ask him if he enjoyed Oprah’s book club. She did find a baby food jar that held bright pink wax beads and a wick, but by the handwriting on the note taped to it, she assumed it had more sentimental than practical value. How could ‘Unkel Johny’ burn a homemade Barbie pink candle from ‘yor nees Melissa I Love You XOXO’? So she decided to look in the bedroom.
His room held a similar hodge podge of furniture with the exception of the bed. It looked like a new one he’d picked out himself. It was covered with a steel gray comforter that was exactly what she would have thought John would choose for himself. It stood to reason that when he was home in Buffalo, sleeping was probably all he did here so why not have a nice place to do that. On the dilapidated chest of drawers sat photographs of his parents, as well as one with him and his dad grilling in the back yard and one of him and his mom wearing party hats for someone’s birthday. He looked to be about eight in both pictures. Finally, on the nightstand, she spotted what she was after. Sitting side by side on a silver tray were two column candles, never before lit and one mostly burned jar candle in a sweet floral scent. By its random placement and uncharacteristic style, even for an eclectic set up like he had going here, it looked like it ended up there for purposes similar to the one Gen had for it now. She lit it ‘just in case’ and went back to the living room to sit on the couch and stare out the balcony doors to watch the storm roll by.
Gen sat in the ever-darkening room waiting for the thunder that followed the periodic lightning strikes. She loved the beauty and sounds, even the smell of a thunderstorm. But it wasn’t long before she was startled by the sound of a key in the lock as a rain soaked John entered carrying grocery bags.
“What are you doing sitting here in the dark? You can watch TV or something,” he laughed. “I may not be here much, but I do pay the bills.” He sat the bags down on the counter. “I stopped at the store for a few things. With the weather being what it is, I thought we’d eat in. Whaddaya think?”
“Sounds good to me. I love watching storms. I’d rather do that anyway,” she smiled.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I like thunderstorms too. They’re very…stimulating.” He flipped on the light in the kitchen and started on dinner. “Y’know, I was going to take you to the Falls tonight, but…”
“That’s ok,” she smiled. “I’m sure we can find something else to do.” She got up from the couch and joined him in the kitchen. “Anything I can help you with?”
“Absolutely not. It’s my treat tonight. I’ve gotta make up for being such a jerk for the past two weeks.”
“Yeah, I wanna know about that. Why didn’t you call?” she asked as she hopped up for a seat on the counter. She grabbed a carrot from the bag and started munching. “I mean, I’d almost lost hope that I’d hear from you at all…. hey wait, I didn’t!” she teased.
“I know. I’m sorry, y’know. But I didn’t… I didn’t have any idea what to say.”
“Are you kidding me? You didn’t know what to say!” She gave him a playful kick in the seat of the pants while he set about fixing her dinner. “You can write these beautiful songs and yet you don’t know what to say to a girl?”
“I’m lame, I know,” he grinned sheepishly. “But really,” he didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t even know what to say right now, “Um, I really, uh…oh shit,” he fought for the words, “I really wanted to see if I could do without you.”
Gen stopped in mid bite and gaped at him with wide, questioning eyes, “Do without me?”
“Yeah. I know that sounds bad, but it’s really not, because…well…you’ve got your answer.” He thrust his hands forward at her. “I guess the answer is no.”
“I don’t get it. Why would you do that? I mean, why not just call and have me around if that’s what you thought you wanted?”
“Why?” He looked at her like she was crazy. “Because you don’t need me. You have a great life and you don’t need me and all my…shit fucking it up for you.” He gesticulated with the knife in his hand as he cut some chicken.
“Hold on.” She didn’t want to sound angry, but she was, a little. He was taking her future, her relationship with him and leaving it to chance and she didn’t appreciate it. “First of all, you don’t know what my life is really like, so you don’t know how great it is. But let me tell you, I think it’s pretty damn great right now because you’re in it. But last week, when I didn’t know if I’d ever hear from you again, it sucked!” She stopped pointing with the carrot and took another bite. “Secondly, what is ‘all your shit’? And why do you think it would fuck up my life? Cause, y’know, while you were trying to avoid doing that, I’ve been dealing with some very serious issues relating to being pregnant with your baby! If you hadn’t set this up…if you had been able to live without me, you would have fucking seriously fucked up my life!”
He stopped what he was doing and stared into her eyes. “You did get my note, didn’t you? Because I said I would be there for you and I would’ve been. I will be.”
“How?”
“I would’ve called…. something…I don’t know, but I wouldn’t have let you go through that, whatever it was you chose to do, alone.”
She could tell they both felt very vulnerable right now, but she decided to push further. For some reason, she wanted his honest feelings and she was confident that he wouldn’t hurt her; maybe she just wanted to confirm that theory. “But if you could’ve lived without me, what would you have done if I was pregnant? Would you have given everything up to raise a baby with me? Or would you have thrown a pile of money at me?”
He looked down at his feet as tears welled in his eyes. He wanted to be honest with her, but he wasn’t sure she would believe him. “I wouldn’t have given anything up…I don’t think. I would have just added to it.” He looked up at her as he implored, “Do I seem like the kind of asshole who would throw a wad of cash at you and tell you to keep quiet?”
She was stunned…she’d made him cry. She grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over to her. Here before her, stood the sad little boy that she wanted nothing more than to take care of. She put her arms around him and held him tightly. “I think I have my answer. I love you, Johnny Rzeznik.” She was relieved that the words had finally left her lips. “But I think you already know that.”
He smiled with pride, he couldn’t be happier. He’d hoped she would say those words to him this weekend. He leaned closer to kiss her. He wanted to take her in his arms, but his hands were all chickeny so he grabbed her with his elbows. It merited a giggle from both of them. This is what it was like when they were together- romantic, funny, honest. They both couldn’t ask for more. “Um, we oughta save the good stuff for later,” he grinned. “I’m makin’ you dinner now.” He returned to his cooking; he was making a lemony chicken piccata, complete with artichoke hearts and capers and pasta and steamed veggies on the side. Without even realizing, he was preparing Gennie’s favorite meal.
“So, I noticed you have an…um, unusual collection of reading material on your bookshelves. For a guy like you, anyway.”
“Yeah, kinda like the dishes with the little roses and the pink placemats? You noticed,” he chuckled. “My sisters suck- they’re always doin’ this kind of shit to me. They used to kick my ass, now they just humiliate me by turning my place into a fuckin’ chick palace.” He laughed, “I guess that’s what I get for giving ‘em keys. I think they come over here to get away from their kids when I’m not around. It’s terrible! Every time I come home there’s some new potpourri or a window treatment, or something.” Shaking his head, he added, “Don’t get the wrong idea when you go in the bathroom and find a frilly yellow bathrobe or hot rollers or Midol or anything like that, cause it ain’t my shit!”
“No problem. I think I like your sisters!”
He rolled his eyes, “God help me!”
As he put dinner on the table, Gen jumped up from her chair. “Oh! We need candles!” She started running to his room.
“Wait,” he called after her, “I got it.” He reached in to the freezer; “I’ll bet you never thought to look in here, did you?” He pulled out two rose colored taper candles that matched the flowers on the plates, the arrangement on the table and the placemats. Someone had thought of everything. It just wasn’t John.
“No,” Gen replied slightly amused.
“I know. It’s another oddball theory my sisters have. Has something to do with burning longer or less dripping or something,” he shrugged. “Must be a girl thing.”
“Must be,” Gen smiled and hit the lights as he lit the candles.
Their romantic dinner was made more impressive by the light show going on outside. They had a leisurely meal as he caught her up on all the things she’d missed since she left. She recounted her viewing of her videotapes with Stacey. She told him they couldn’t remember when they’d last laughed so hard. Stacey had particularly enjoyed the inebriated dancing and the clowning around on the bus, not to mention the footage of Gen trying to wheedle out of a fan backstage exactly why she felt it imperative to throw her underwear on stage. It had been a humorous exchange.
After dinner, they cleared the dishes and settled in to their evening. They had a seat on the couch, the lights were off, but that jar candle still flickered away on the coffee table, filling the room with the smell of sweet violets.
“Gen, I’m really sorry we can’t go to the Falls tonight. I know I promised you we would. I mean, we would go but it’s cold out. You’d freeze.” He felt bad about letting her down. It had been her one request for this trip.
“I’ll see it eventually. I’ve got a few more days, you know.”
“Yeah, but you gotta see it at night. I don’t think we’ll get to do that this time. Maybe my sisters can take you tomorrow during the day. It won’t be the same, but I’d just as well you didn’t do the romantic stuff with them, anyway,” he offered her his sexiest smile.
“It’s romantic?” she replied coquettishly.
“Oh yeah,” he leaned closer to her, “at night it is.” He brushed her hair back exposing her neck, where he planted a soft kiss. “It’s dark out, no one can see what you’re doing.” He kissed her again. “And really noisy too. No one can hear you.”
“Mmm hmm…” she closed her eyes and rolled her head back. “Kinda like now.” As if on command, another loud boom of thunder rocked the room.
“Exactly like now,” he whispered in her ear before he nibbled on it.
She took a deep breath as her heart beat faster; the world around her seemed to disappear. She let go of a shallow moan as she surrendered to his kisses; she was his to do with as he wished- knowing that whatever he did would be better than a trip to Niagara Falls by a long shot.
He looked at her with eyes that let her know precisely what he had on his mind. He started unbuttoning her shirt. “I’d like to know how loud you can get.”
“Oh?” she smiled practically drooling for him.
“It’s an old building, thick walls, we’re at the end of the hall. I’ve never tested the limits of my… abilities,” he breathed hard in her ear. “How far can I go?” He reached the last button and slid off her shirt. “How loud can it get?”
A soft cry escaped from the back of her throat. This was going to be good. She leaned forward pressing herself against him as she tugged at his shirt. He allowed her to pull it over his head, before he tossed it aside and pulled her closer to feel the warmth of her skin touching his.
She started to reach for his jeans, but he stopped her. “No. Not yet.” He took her by the hands and started to lead her to his room, but something stopped him. He got a sly smile, and hurried around the couch to the counter top where the grocery bags still sat and pulled out a new package of condoms. “I remembered everything at the store!” Sticking the box between his teeth and grabbing the candles on the table, which were still burning- his sisters must be right, he urged her toward the bedroom.
Sitting the candles on the nightstand, he went for the buttons on her jeans. “Let me have some fun first.” He slid off her Levis and took in every curve of her body with his eyes. She was perfect; not all skin and bones like some girls. She was a woman…she looked like one…curves in all the right places. She wore a lacy black bra and panty set that contrasted flawlessly with her alabaster skin. He ran his hands all over her, fondling her with his calloused fingertips. She delighted in the sensation.
When he felt her pulse had quickened sufficiently, he slid his fingers under the wire in her bra, front hooks…he liked those, and opened the clasp releasing her. He trailed kisses from her neck down her collarbone and finally, to her breasts. She smelled so sweet; he couldn’t get enough of her scent. It was different than before, spicier, more alluring, it drove him wild. He could feel her heart beating and he knew she was dying for more. He pulled away and put his fingers where his mouth had been. She was so willing to do anything right now…he considered his options. Her eyes were closed as she softly moaned. He took one of her hands and led it to her taut wet nipple. She gasped, it wasn’t what she’d expected, but upon opening her eyes and watching him…she could tell he liked it. She looked him in the eye as he took the other hand and did the same. He kept his fingers over hers leading them where he wanted them to go. With the intensity of the moment her breathing became quicker, heavier.
“That’s good,” he whispered, encouraging her. She was getting louder; he was on the right track. He slid his hands from hers slowly and moved to her panties. His touch sent shockwaves through her body and he hadn’t even gotten them off yet. His fingers danced over her, teasing her, winding her up all the more. “Do you like this?” he asked breathily.
Her eyes remained closed, she was practically panting. “Yes,” was all that she got out before he moved his fingers just a tad sending her almost to the edge. She let out a cry. “Please,” she pleaded.
He just smiled. It was working. He tempted her some more before reclining her back on his bed. He leaned over her and kissed her hard. “I want to hear how much you like it,” he teased her with his low, bedroom voice, “but it’s gotta be real, or I’ll stop,” he smiled seductively, causing her to bite her lip and let out an impassioned gasp.
“I’d never fake it,” she toyed with him. “It’s counterproductive. You need to know when you’re right. I don’t reward you when you’re wrong.”
“Good, Genevieve.” He pressed his body closer to hers. “That’s what I want.” His lips followed the curves of her body and made their way down her torso to her bellybutton and beyond. She noticed his breath quicken the lower he went. He slowly, sensually began removing her panties.
It was too slow for Gennie who was gasping for breath and begging for more, “Johnny, please! You gotta….”
He slowed even more. “I gotta what?” he teased.
“You gotta let me…I gotta have…you gotta do something or I’ll go crazy!!!”
“I hope so,” he said enticingly.
When he finally got them off, he dropped to his knees and continued to tease her, bringing her just to about to the brink….then trying something different. She was out of breath and moaning so loudly, she was practically yelling. She’d evidently found his undiscovered talent. When he didn’t think he could keep her from crossing the line any longer, he let her go. He got what he’d wanted. She was screaming with ecstasy and there was no doubt in his mind that it was real.
She sat up and hoisted him to his feet. “Now it’s my turn!” she purred, wrapping her legs around his waist pulling him closer so she could kiss his neck. She had a thing about the side of a man’s neck that drove her wild and his was no exception. It must have something to do with the throbbing pulsing of his jugular. She could see it, she could feel it, it made him vulnerable. It held such symbolism. Nothing separated her from his blood supply and his heart, except a thin layer of skin. She kissed him on a sensitive spot just slightly below and behind his earlobe, feeling his blood coursing beneath her lips, her tongue. A thought occurred to her that made her feel almost silly and yet it was oddly erotic at the same time. She first pulled gently on his skin feeling the heat from his veins, then harder and more fervently.
“Are you giving me a hickey?” he asked, somewhere just short of giggling. Not that he was doing anything to stop her. His eyes were closed and his head leaned to the side, making it easier for her.
She smiled confidently, never completely taking her mouth away. “I’m marking my territory,” she snickered.
“No one’s done that to me in years!” he smiled. “But go easy on me. I’ve got 15,000 girls who don’t want to see that tomorrow night.”
“You shouldn’t care. Tonight, you’re mine and you’re just a plumber- nothing else matters.”
He couldn’t recall anyone ever finding his original intended profession more enticing than the one he had, but it was a fun fantasy for him. That was one of the things he loved about Gennie; she was unusual - saw past the rock star veneer and he’d almost go as far as saying she’d prefer him without it. With her, he was who he was, no games. With her, he could pretend that nothing else mattered.
When her self appointed task was complete, she leaned back to admire her handiwork. She nodded her head, almost gloating. ‘You’re mine now,” she uttered with a look of satisfaction in her conquest.
He blushed, trying to recall when he last had a hickey. She couldn’t recall when she’d last given one. “If you’re trying to remember when you last did this, you’re getting old,” he grinned.
“Shut up,” she teased him, “or you’ll get another one in a much more prominent place!”
“Sounds interesting.”
She grabbed him and planted a huge kiss on his lips, laughing all the while. She was certainly feeling relaxed, thanks to John and his ‘special talent’. Now she could take her time and savor the rest of her evening. She wondered if that had been his intention all along. It would definitely work to his advantage here. She reached for his jeans, undid the button and tugged on his zipper letting it down one…notch…at a…time, he was just staring at her the whole time looking like he could spontaneously combust at any minute.
A flash in the sky just before the massive boom signaled the arrival of yet another storm. This one was louder with an even more elaborate light display and it lit up their room through the closed draperies. Gen suddenly jumped up from where she knelt on the bed and ran over to the curtains throwing them wide open. John stood frozen in place, wondering what she was up to. “It’ll be our own private light show,” she giggled. She loved the idea. She walked back to him but this time stood behind him, running her hands across his chest before they traveled lower. As soon as she touched him, she felt all his muscles tighten. He was exquisite, a fine specimen of humanity. Men didn’t come much closer to perfect than this one…at least not in her opinion. And he was equipped with will power, something of which she was decidedly lacking as she stuck her fingers in the waistband of his underwear and slid them off along with his jeans. She had to be closer, to actually feel him. When his clothes hit the floor, he stepped out of them and turned to face her. She dropped to her knees. She was determined to repay him for the splendid agony he’d just put her through. By the time she’d finished with him, she was dying to surrender herself to him. She debated what her next move would be, when he took her hand and led her closer to the window.
He grabbed her thigh and lifted her slightly to accommodate him. His arms wrapped around her, her legs and arms around him. They made love by the window, where the lightning flashed again and the thunder rolled so loudly, they could feel it shaking the floor. “This is all for you,” he whispered in her ear, “Your very own light show.”
They moved rhythmically to the sounds of the storm until that last gasp, that final moment when the world seemed to stand still and everything stopped. She felt him shudder and squeeze her tighter, but his beautiful eyes remained open and fixed on hers, “I Love You Genevieve.”
“I Love You, Johnny.”