Chapter 52

An odd combination of exhaustion and adrenaline pulsed through Gen’s body as she stepped out of the train station and inhaled the aroma of the busy city. Exhaust, cigarettes, and hot dogs grilling were the scents most easily identifiable, but there were other less pleasant ones that she didn’t want to think about.  She loved the city- London in particular. Things were so fast paced and exciting, and the diversity of people fascinated her. Just standing in this one spot outside Victoria Station she could distinctly hear several languages being spoken.  She was happy to see she had arrived on a pleasant mid-September morning. The sun was shining and the temperature was in the lower sixties. She couldn’t have asked for better. Silently, she turned her eyes skyward and said a thank you for having a great friend like Stacey. Somehow, and she wasn’t sure how, but Stacey was able to repay her for babysitting by pulling some strings in the administrative office and getting Gennie several days off for this little excursion.

 Pulling her luggage behind her, she found her way to the taxi queue but was pleasantly surprised to see an older gentleman holding a card with her name on it. As tired as she was from nearly a full day without sleep she was relieved not to have to wait in the long line for a cab. She approached the man with a weary smile on her face and pointed at the card. “That’s me!”

 “Ah, at last!” he said with a chipper voice. “Did you have a pleasant flight, ma’am?”

 “It was tiring, that’s for sure,” she replied with a sigh. She handed over her bags as he stuffed them in the car. As she got in she noticed a bunch of flowers on the seat. She picked them up and breathed in their refreshing fragrance. “What beautiful flowers!”

 “That they are, ma’am.  The American gent wanted to be sure you got them straight away. I suspect he’s waiting for you at the hotel.”

 As they weaved through the streets of London, Gen opened the enclosed envelope and found a hotel key card and a note. She read the message written in his messy scrawl.

             Gen-

        I knew you’d make it. You must really love me!

        You now hold the key to more than just my heart.

Waiting in room 1202…   Me  

 “Must be quite the romantic holiday for you then.”

 A silly, lovesick smile spread across her face. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

 “So, your gentleman friend, I notice he’s arrived before you. Is he here on business?”

 “Um, yeah. He’s here with his job,” she blushed. It felt odd to describe it that way- as though he were a banker or something.

 “Well, it’s good of you to join him. I hope he doesn’t have to work too much. You want to be certain to have a bit of fun while you’re here… have a nice dinner, maybe take in a show. How long is your stay?”

 “Probably about a week.”

 “Ah, good, good. You’ll have plenty of time then.” In a matter of minutes the black cab pulled up in front of a reasonably posh hotel. “This is it! Your temporary place of residence.”

 After her bag was removed from the car, she tried to tip her driver, but he refused.

 “No, ma’am,” he objected fervently. “Your gentleman friend has already taken care of everything. I hope you enjoy your holiday in London.”

 “Thank you,” she said with an appreciative smile.

 Entering the hotel she silently refused the assistance of the bellhop and made her way to the elevators.  She easily found the room and entered quietly, shutting the door behind her. She figured that at ten a.m. John would still be sleeping. In fact, she really hoped he was because right now nothing sounded better to her than a good nights sleep. She kicked off her shoes and tiptoed around the corner to his bed and sure enough, he was there, but he wasn’t sleeping. He greeted her with an enormous smile.

 “Darlin’ c’mere.” He held his arms out to her.

 She curled up in them, snuggling close to him. He covered her in kisses, which felt great, but not nearly as great as the warm, soft bed. She offered a feeble attempt at kissing back, but she was just too tired. “Hey, babe,” she mumbled, “Good to see you.”

 “God, I missed you. I’m so glad you’re here.  See, I told you you’d be able to leave.”

 “Yeah,” she yawned. “Thanks to Stace. She got someone in HR to dink around with my leave schedule. I got a week, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it’s coming out of next year. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, you know.”

 “You don’t have to tell me that, darlin’. I don’t think that’ll be a problem though, y’know.”

 “You don’t think so?” she smiled sleepily.

 “Nope,” he commented with a grin and a confident shake of the head.

 “You have such confidence in my human resources department,” she teased.

 “Well, maybe I just know things that you don’t,” he grinned.

 “Do you?” She eyed him suspiciously.

 He returned the look. “Maybe.” He planted a small kiss on her forehead.  “Did you have a good flight?”

 She nodded. “I’m just happy it’s over. I’m so tired.”

 “I know, Gen, I know.” He kissed her again gently on the lips then pulled off her t-shirt and started to undo the buttons on her jeans. Once he had them off of her, he unhooked her bra and started kissing her neck. He was so happy to have her back beside him that it took him a minute to realize that he wasn’t getting much of a response. Glancing up at her face, he noticed she had fallen asleep. It made him smile; even the lure of his hidden talent wasn’t enough to keep her awake. He held her in his arms as she slept.

 He mercifully allowed her to sleep for a few hours before he made her get up and exist once again among the living.

 He lay on his side, his head resting on the heel of his hand, “Darlin’ you need to wake up.” He rocked her shoulder to wake her though she was dead to the world. He got no response. “Gen, honey, wake up,” he shook her again.

 Slowly, her eyes opened. Her head and her body both felt numb. A momentary lapse of reason hit her as her eyes scanned the room wondering where she was. She wanted to speak, but had difficulty forming words in her disjointed state. “What?”

 “What?” he mimicked her. “Darlin’ you gotta wake up. If you sleep all day that whole time change thing’ll just kick your ass and you’ll never get over it.”

 “Hmm,” she sighed and rolled over. She hoped that by ignoring him, she could make him go away.

 “Gen, I mean it. Wake up!” He climbed on top of her and started tickling. “C’mon, babe. Let’s hit the town.”

 She groaned. Why couldn’t he just let her sleep? “Leave me alone, dammit!” She tried unsuccessfully to push him off of her.

 “I know you’re hungry Gen. I heard your stomach growling.” He tickled her some more. “Let’s go eat. I’m hungry too.”

 He’d finally hit a nerve. She was hungry. Begrudgingly, she rolled herself out of bed. “I’m doing this for you, you know.”

 “You’ll be thanking me later.”

 She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

 “You will!” He threw his arms around her after she pulled on a clean shirt. “And then later we can come back and, uh, go back to bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows as if to tempt her, though she was too sleepy to even think about that.

 Outside the hotel, John hailed a cab and told the driver where to take them. Watching Gennie stare peacefully out the window, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I thought we’d go to this Italian restaurant I went to the other night. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s good.”

 Once there, Gen sipped her fizzy lemonade while John drank wine with his meal. “I’m really sorry I’m not better company,” she announced. “I’m just not all here right now.  But the food oughta make me feel better.”

 “I hope so.” His days off were precious and few he hated to waste any of them. They leisurely ate their meal and didn’t talk much. He respected the fact that she wasn’t much of a talker when she was tired. As she’d predicted, she perked up considerably after her pasta dinner. “So Gen, what do ya wanna do now? Anything you wanna see?”

 She thought about it for a moment. “There are some museums I’d love to see, but I think they’ll wait till you’re working or something, and I’m less bushed.”

 “Then what? You wanna just go sit somewhere?” he asked as he hailed another cab.

 “Um, sure,” she smiled. “How about St. James Park? Or is that too busy for you?”

 He made a face and shook his head. “I sincerely doubt it. Nobody knows me here.”

 She couldn’t tell if that was a good thing in his mind or not. It certainly was a thrill for her to be able to go anywhere with him and not be interrupted. She loved the fans, hell, she’d been one at one time. But they were more of an obstacle in her life now. As they climbed in the back of the black cab, she thought about what being a fan meant to her today. She watched him gazing out the window as they whizzed past one familiar landmark after another. She didn’t think of herself as a fan anymore. It was like she’d crossed a line, a point of no return. Sure, she liked their music, but she certainly didn’t listen to their CDs anymore. In fact, it kind of freaked her out listening to him singing on the radio. It was just too strange. She now went so far as to change the station when they came on. Occasionally, she couldn’t escape it though. Once while he was visiting, one of his songs came on the sound system at the grocery store while they were picking up a few things.  They looked at each other when they heard the first few notes and burst into a fit of giggles. It garnered them a few odd looks and it was probably the closest he came to being recognized while he traveled incognito in Oklahoma. Most people ignored the giggling pair, but the cashier never took her eyes off John the whole time they stood in line. Though she never said a word to him, her knowing stare indicated that she suspected his identity.

 With the grand façade of Buckingham Palace looming in the foreground, the cab came to a stop at the traffic light. John gave Gennie a quick questioning look. “This is good right here,” he announced to the driver as he stuck a ten pound note through the glass. Grabbing Gen’s hand he quickly jumped out of the car and followed the path into the park.

 As they ambled along, Gen’s eyes absorbed the lush textures of her environment. Willow trees wistfully grazed the water as swans glided majestically through the tranquil pond, the other side of which little old ladies sat in awning striped lawn chairs as they fed breadcrumbs to the ducks.  A warm breeze rustled the leaves of the enormous trees lining the walkway and the soft green grass looked like a carpet upon which sunbathers soaked up the last remnants of summer’s sun and toddlers laughed and played with their mothers. Even the polluted air of London somehow seemed fresher here in this peaceful spot. “Isn’t it just the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?” she asked dreamily.

 He led her over to a bench in a quiet spot under a tree. “Yeah, it’s really nice. It’s quiet here, y’know; you’d never know you’re in the middle of the city.”

 The two of them sat in silence as they watched the world lazily unfold around them. Though she was still tired, for Gen, this was turning into the perfect day. She couldn’t imagine anyplace in the world she’d rather be right now, nor could she think of anyone she would rather be with. She affixed a grateful smile on her face as she sighed. “You know, Johnny, just a few short months ago I never would have imagined myself back here so soon. And I damn sure know that I wouldn’t have pictured myself here with you, of all people!” She laughed at the thought of the strange hand life had dealt her.

 He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. “It’s funny, y’know, how things like this happen.” His eyes wandered up towards the dancing leaves on the trees. “I never imagined myself here with you, hell, with anyone! I didn’t think that I wanted to get this, um, involved with anybody, y’know.” He gave her a shy smile. It was one thing to tell her he loved her, but it was really hard for him to tell her how strongly he really felt. “You’ve… Gen… You’ve changed me so much. I’m not the same person I was a few months ago.” He took a deep breath. “I kind of… well, um,” he sat up on the bench and look directly into her eyes. “I think I’m a better person because of you.”

 Her eyes went wide and her chin dropped in a look of astonishment. “Really?”

 “Yeah, really,” he blushed.

 “Wow!” Her eyes shifted around as if she would find the right words in response to that comment hanging from the tree branches.

 “Don’t look so surprised,” he teased her, giving her shoulder a playful shove.

 She smiled, but still felt speechless. “Yeah, well… That’s just… Wow… I changed you?  You’re a better person?  And… and… you think it’s because of me?  I’m just… I don’t know.  I guess I don’t think I have that much influence.”

 His face got serious for a moment. “You don’t feel that between us? You don’t wake up everyday and think that your whole life makes sense now because you’ve found the right person to spend it with?”

 She was feeling more amazed every minute by what he was saying. “Well, yeah, I do actually. But your life is so different from mine. While you’re busy doing your thing, I’m back at home missing you… thinking that there has to be something wrong with me because I’ve never felt so elated and so heartbroken at the same time. And I…”

 “Don’t go back.”

 “What?”

 “Don’t go back home.  Stay here with me.”

 “You’re kidding, right? You know I can’t do that!”

 “Yes you can.”

 “John, I can’t!  I have a job, which I need, among other reasons, to pay a mortgage and my car payment. You know… I have a life! I just can’t walk away from it.”

 “I’m not asking you to walk away from your life.  I ‘m only asking you to walk away from your job.”

 “But…”

 He brushed his fingers across her lips as he shook his head. “Don’t worry about the rest of it. It’s not a problem.” He smiled that bashful smile that made her heart melt so many times before. “See, the funny thing is, I’ve got money.”

 She took a deep breath. How could she explain to him that her responsibilities were a part of her life? She couldn’t just ditch them like an old pair of worn out socks. “Then after the two weeks are up here, then what? What I am supposed to do then?”

 “I’m asking you to come to LA to live with me Genevieve. Be in my life, like I wanna be in yours.”

 Gen was flabbergasted. The shock and lack of sleep swirled in her eyes to form huge tears. It wasn’t what she wanted to do, but she began to sob uncontrollably. She had no idea how to react to his request. Of course she’d love to be with him all the time, but she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to be shoved into the three-ring circus that was the life of a rock star. That was definitely one advantage of living so far removed from him. When he visited her, he was just another guy, an ordinary person. But in California, she knew things would be different. There was nothing ordinary about that place. She’d never even been there, but from what little she knew about his home, she assumed that it was a huge house decorated in the latest modern trends; a far cry from his humble apartment in Buffalo.

 His face was painted with confusion and concern as he folded her into his arms. “Aw Gen, don’t cry darlin’. It’s not that bad of an idea.”

 As much as she wanted to stay enveloped in his arms, she had to pull away. She needed to separate herself from the bizarre reality that suddenly seemed to be drowning her. Wiping at her tears, she tried to gather her words into a coherent sentence. Even though she didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t very well say nothing in response to the gargantuan pronouncement he’d just made. She opted for the unusual approach. “John, do you have any idea what it’s like to be a 32 year old divorced woman?”

 Her question took him by surprise. “Uh, can’t say that I do.”

 “Well, let me tell you.  It’s kinda schizophrenic.” She sighed. “On the one hand, you feel like a total failure in life because you’re an adult and you couldn’t make your marriage work. You wonder everyday what you missed… would I have a big beautiful home? Would I be a mom now?  And so, you feel lost and alone a lot of the time. You spend your days and nights dreaming of the perfect guy… the one who’s gonna sweep you off your feet… the one who will prove to you, once and for all, that you weren’t a failure; that you can love and be successful in a relationship. The guy who makes you feel beautiful, smart, funny… the one who validates every positive feeling in your body.” She wiped at another tear as she glanced off into space trying to collect her thoughts.  “Then on the other hand, you feel like ‘Yeah, I can do this’.  I was right to ditch the sorry bastard I was married to. I’m really proud of the things I’ve accomplished completely on my own- with no help from any man. I have a career. It’s not something I’m passionate about like you are, maybe, but it’s something I’ve done on my own, and I’m really good at it. I’m proud of the fact that I can look around my house and say ‘I did this for myself’.  I know it sounds selfish, but I like to know that I did things for me not for anyone else.”

 He understood her completely, but her analogy worried him. Did this mean she was saying no? He really couldn’t see himself in a relationship with someone who lived so far away. It simply wasn’t practical. If she couldn’t choose him over her job- a job she didn’t seem to like much anyway- he didn’t think they belonged together after all. “So what hand do you see me in?” he asked, hoping to bypass a broken heart.

 Gen looked at him before dropping her face into her hands. “I… I don’t know. I just… I’m…” She ran her hands back over her head as if doing so would clear her mind. “Can we just go back to the hotel? I really can’t think about this right now. Ok?”

 John saw the tears starting to well in her eyes again. He knew he was asking a lot of her, but he didn’t think it would be this tough of a decision “Sure, Gen. C’mon, let’s go.” He took her hand as they walked back to the road to catch another ride. He respected her need to think about it. He was confident in his decision to ask her, and he fully expected her to be confident of her answer, whatever it was.

 When they got back to their room, there was a message from Robby waiting for him. “Dude, I hope you get this in time. Last minute change in plans. We’ve got an interview with some music magazine this afternoon- 5 o’clock in the restaurant downstairs. See ya then… Oh, and say hi to Gen for me!”

 John glanced at his watch and realized that it was almost five right now. He gave Gen a quick kiss as he turned to run out the door. “I’ve got an interview thing I’ve gotta do. Shouldn’t take more than an hour. I’ll be back right afterwards.” And with that, he was gone.

 Gen shrugged in response to her sudden abandonment.  Not that she was complaining. She knew exactly what she was going to do.  Digging through her luggage, she found her toiletries bag and headed for the bathroom. Whether John approved or not, Gennie was going to bed… for the evening. There would be no waking her up this time.  By the time he got back, she would be dressed in her pj’s with the curtains drawn shut and she would be tucked in and fast asleep.

 She couldn’t think about the situation with John at the moment.  She didn’t want to. In fact, she felt a little like Scarlett O’Hara- after all, tomorrow is another day.

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