“Whenever you’re ready, Agent Johnson,” came the voice over the earpiece. Special Agent Mark Johnson had been ready for a while and was merely waiting for the subject to make a move.
As the black-suited agent voiced his reply into the car radio, the subject exited the building across the street. Johnson knew where it would go, but he had to tail the subject from some thirty feet behind.
The subject Johnson was ordered to pursue was a gray-haired ex-vacuum salesman that lived in the slums and went to the Hovac Company Office building every day at noon to try and get his old job back. The man seemed to live an average, mundane life except for the fact that he was (or at least should have been) quite dead.
The man had been hit by a train about a year ago, right after losing his job. The medics found his mangled remains with no pulse, and they put what was left of him in a body bag.
When the ambulance carrying the body bag reached the morgue, the fabric had been torn open, the doors were ajar, and the body was missing. Unfortunately, there no paramedics in the back of the ambulance with the remains, so no one knew how the corpse went missing.
A few days after that incident, the vacuum-cleaning company (unaware that the subject had supposedly died) filed a report with the police that said the man constantly came back to pester his old boss for his job back, even after they ordered him to stay off the premises.
This police report had been intercepted by Frink and Johnson was ordered to follow the deceased man. The Bureau believed the former salesman to be a spirit of some sort, and the agent was sent to confirm this.
Johnson had managed to question several of the man’s neighbors and was told that every day at about noon, the man would leave his house and head downtown. He never left his house except for this trip.
Now Johnson was trailing the subject back to his house to see if the man would disappear when he entered the apartment.
***
At the Team 13 apartment, Andy and Frink were talking excitedly with Bionic about his fantastical journey through a parallel universe. Frink had loads of questions, and Andy wanted to know how to prevent things from that world from entering this one.
“So, I just walked after I ran outta gas. I was around the Kentucky area when that happened,” Bionic explained.
“But how did you live for almost a week there?” Frink queried.
“It was easy enough with this,” Bionic answered while pulling out a small Greek vase from his jacket’s breast. The vase was empty and it wasn’t glowing. Andy assumed that it wasn’t magical in nature.
“What is it?” Andy asked.
“I got it as a welcoming gift from the men in black that Bureau 13 sent down to recruit me. They called it ‘Huxley’s Vase.’” Bionic saw Frink raise his eyebrow upon hearing this name. He continued, “It protects me from the creatures in that world, which the MiB’s called ‘Ruin’ or something, by the way. It’s also always filled with delicious grapes and gyros when I’m in Ruin..”
Frink was ecstatic over this wonder, but Bionic spoke again before Frink could utter a word. “Frink, aren’t you supposed to be monitoring Mark?”
“The Bureau sent a team of surveillance men to monitor some paranormal activity here. They decided to use Johnson. We can just relax,” Frink answered.
Bionic shrugged and continued with his story.
***
Johnson tried to vocally relay what the subject was doing to the surveillance team. “Subject appears to be placing toast into a dilapidated toaster, although there appears to be no toast. The appliance is also unplugged and looks quite damaged.”
The subject had been doing similar things throughout the abandoned apartment since he arrived home. His electricity had been shut off several days ago, but he flicked light switches on when he entered rooms. He sat down to watch television and channel-surfed with a broken remote despite the fact that the TV had been repossessed. He even went to take a shower with his water cut off. All this pointed to the subject being a spirit that was simply repeating actions from his past life. But then why wouldn’t the “spirit” disappear or float through a door instead of physically opening it?
Johnson then noted something interesting. The subject had pulled a knife out of a drawer as if to spread butter on his “toast.” The subject stopped before carrying out the spreading action and stared at the knife.
Johnson paid close attention and watched the subject spread the imaginary butter and then stand up. The man took the knife and stabbed at his wrists. Johnson had to report this.
“Subject has taken a knife and has begun to lacerate his wrists. He appears to be bleeding amply out of them.” Johnson paused and watched the spirit for another moment. “The subject has just collapsed to the floor, apparently dead. Permission to move in and investigate further.”
“Granted,” came the gruff reply over the earpiece. Johnson stood up from his vantage point and picked up the portable microphone. He proceeded to walk into the subject’s apartment.
***
“Amazing,” Frink stated after hearing the full version of Bionic’s story. “If you could lend me that vase,” Frink requested, “I’d be much obliged.”
“Not a chance,” Bionic replied smugly.
“But . . . it’s for scientific research!” Frink pleaded. The Professor then reached for the vase. Bionic instinctively pulled the item back, which caused Frink to reach for it more. The two men were soon in a tug-of-war-like situation.
Andy sighed. “Boys will be boys.” He stood up and went to go take a shower.
***
Johnson easily gained access to the man’s apartment. It’s door wasn’t locked (which explained why everything in the apartment was either stolen or destroyed), and Johnson had the authority from his higher-ups.
The black-suited agent walked almost silently into the kitchen area, where the subject had apparently killed himself.
Johnson was surprised to find the corpse still on the floor. He reported to the team that the corpse had sopped bleeding as well, and that some sort of sealant was forming over the wounds.
As Johnson squatted to get a better look at the corpse, the remains suddenly jerked. Johnson drew his gun as his training required, and the thing’s eyes opened. “Subject appears to have awoken,” Johnson gasped into the mike right before he dropped it in shock.
The subject lifted its head a little off the ground so that it could stare the agent in the eyes (even though Johnson was wearing shades). It uttered one phrase before standing up: “Why can’t I die?”
***
“So, I heard you found the ‘Highlander,’ eh?” Frink said to Johnson at the Team 13 office.
“If by ‘Highlander’ you mean E-Mortal, then yes, I found one,” Johnson began while filing some paperwork. “This one truly wished to perish after losing his source of employment, but found he was unable to due to his ability. He lived a shell of his former life and waited for death or help. The Bureau was able to provide him with the latter.” Johnson saw Frink’s content smile.
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