“Agent Bionic!” Frink screamed as the cab sped down the freeway. “Stop the car!” the scientist pleaded.
Bionic ignored him and drove around cars and trucks, deftly dodging the police pursuit behind him. “We’re headed for the ‘burbs!” Bionic whooped as he fled the downtown scene on the large highway.
***
“Christ, don’t you guys know who you’re working for?” Willy said. “I’m sure you’re aware of the president’s bad habits. I have witness testimonies and sound recordings to prove that he’s raped, tortured, and killed seven women. Seven!”
“Nobody’s perfect,” Andy said.
Willy slapped the palm of his hand to his forehead. “Listen, I know what I’ve seen. You guys can’t convince me otherwise.”
Then Mrs. Wimbolt walked into the room. “I brought you lemonades!” she said happily and she put the drink tray on the coffee table. Andy wanted to take a sip, but he had to keep the atmosphere.
“Actually ma, these guys were just leaving,” Willy said. He gestured to the door. The agents did not move.
“Mr. Wimbolt, we have proof to the contrary of your argument. We can even arrange a meeting between you and the subject to prove – ”
Willy interrupted. “What did I just say? Look, we’re through talking. And if you MiBs send your strike teams to get me, you’ll find I’ll already be long gone. All you did was tip me off. Now I know that the government is after me. So goodbye, G-Men.” Willy promptly left the room.
Mrs. Wimbolt turned to the agents. “I’m sorry. My Willy’s normally such a nice boy. I don’t know what came over him.”
“May I speak to my partner alone for a moment, Mrs. Wimbolt?” Andy asked. Johnson gave Andy a quick glance of uncertainty under his shades.
“Of course dears. I’ll go try to get Willy back for you.”
Andy pulled Johnson into the front entryway.
“This kid isn’t credible,” he began. “He’s obviously not right in the mind, he’s got no proof, and he seems to be a loner. He’s not a threat. I say we just leave him.”
“Agent Frink’s research shows that he is a local conspiracy kingpin. If we can get him to denounce his own claim, his other theories will be discounted. Other believers will begin to lose faith in our existence. We can protect the secret.”
Before Andy was able to speak again, a taxi cab raced in front of the house followed by several police cars. Johnson and Andy looked at each other.
“Was that Agent Bionic?” they asked simultaneously.
Willy Wimbolt walked back into the entryway. “Are you guys still here?” he asked just as the two agents bolted out the door to steal a better look at the taxi’s occupants. He decided to follow.
***
Agent Bionic opted to pull another one of his tricks. He slowed and spun the car around and drove into a suburban yard. The police cars were speeding too quickly to follow him.
Bionic drove through the yards back the way he came. He plowed through well-manicured bushes, mail boxes, and trellises.
Then he saw two black suited men standing on a turf up ahead. Bionic turned slightly to avoid hitting them. Frink yelled something from the passenger seat, but Bionic didn’t hear it. Then Bionic saw a young man run out in front of the car without even noticing it.
***
Johnson and Andy stared, awestruck, as the vehicle drove straight through the yards of the neighbors. They saw it turn a little away from them when it was a few yards away.
“What are you guys looking at?” came a voice from behind them. Before they could stop the young Willy, he absentmindedly walked straight into the path of the oncoming car.
The last words they heard him say were, “What the – ”
***
Soon, squad cars and interested neighbors surrounded the scene. A young Willy Wimbolt was pulled from the smashed hood of the car, bleeding from the head. He was conscious in a bit and turned out to be miraculously uninjured save one thing. He couldn’t seem to remember anything from beyond his high school years.
Agent Johnson decided to employ the help of his mother convincing the young man that he had always wanted to become a lawyer and had never heard of such a thing as a conspiracy.
As Bionic (who was trying to hide his face to the best of his ability) was being pulled from the car by police, Agent Andy had a stroke of brilliance.
Andy walked up to the policeman handcuffing Bionic and flashed his ID. He gestured to himself and Johnson and said, “Special Agents Andrew and Johnson, Secret Service. This man is wanted for counterfeiting. We were investigating a lead here when he hit our link.”
“What about that guy,” the patrolman said as he pointed his chin at Frink.
“A hostage,” Andy explained. Andy glanced at Frink, lowered his shades, and winked. Frink began wailing about how he was kidnaped and treated.
The policeman called his captain over and discussed it with him. After a moment, the captain said, “Alright, so this is your man, eh? And if I ask that lady over there, she’ll verify your story?” The captain pointed to Mrs. Wimbolt.
Andy replied, “Yes. The young man that was hit will also verify it. If you want, I can call our superior.”
The captain contemplated it for a moment and said, “That won’t be necessary. You can take him.”
Johnson, playing along, took the handcuffed Bionic and dragged him to the team’s sedan. Bionic, having caught on, yelled, “I’m innocent! I didn’t do nothing!”
Andy added as a final note, “If you or anyone else wishes to further prosecute this man, please call our local office.” Andy then gave the captain the team’s apartment phone number. Although he didn’t expect a call, he’d still change the answering machine when they got home.
“Have a nice day, sir,” the captain said as Andy walked to the sedan.
Once inside, Andy pulled out with the other two agents. Bionic expressed his gratitude while Johnson mentioned how he thought something was missing. Andy slammed the brakes.
“Frink,” the three said simultaneously.
“Ah,” Andy said with a shrug, “I’m sure he’ll find his own way home.
Home