William Jennings, a bureaucrat by any account, just sat down on his lush executive chair when the fax machine buzzed to life. Out came a series of reports.
William sighed sipped his coffee. He flipped his day calendar to the next day. A beautifully gray August 8 morning.
Jennings picked up the growing stack of papers on the fax tray. Most were lists of profits from different Ensuringcare™ offices around his part of the globe. The others were a tad illegitimate.
These fairly illegal operations were commonplace in the megacorps these days, but the only people that would like to investigate and expose them had no power. Ensuringcare™, like a few other megacorps, had its hands deep into the government. Especially into the shadow government.
Most of the secret research and development projects were reporting normal findings. Only one reporting a minor incident.
“InCom Research Complex. Janesville, Mayfair County, Minnesota,“ Jennings read aloud, skipping over the regular report to the red message. “A minor outbreak. Two security squads responding. Situation returning to normal.” William sat back down and took out a pen to begin his paperwork.
Then he heard the instant messenger’s beep on his computer. Jennings sighed again and rolled his chair to his computer desk. A message popped up from the director of research at the InCom office. A secret, encrypted message.
Jennings cursed and unencrypted it. When he read the message, his face paled.
William Jennings was on the phone in two seconds. He couldn’t call the MJ 12 without losing face, so he called a different organization.
“Trout, Marlin,” William said in code. Then he identified himself. “William Jennings, Assistant Chairman, Ensuringcare North America Offices. We have a situation.”
***
“Why are we here again?” Bionic asked, scratching at some grime on his chair. The team had been sitting idly in the rent-an-office for several hours now.
“I’m sure whoever called us here will barge in with some obscure orders any time now,” Andy commented, resting his tired head on his arm.
“Any more obscure than those MJ 12 orders?” Frink asked, scratching an itch on his leg.
Johnson glared at the Professor. “Agent Frink, this room could be wired. Do not talk about that in an unsecured area.” The black-suited agent still had his composure.
After another exceedingly boring two minutes, a specific knock came at the door. Two beats, followed by a paused, followed by three more beats, followed by another pause, followed by a slight tap. Then a gruff voice said, “Trout.”
Johnson replied, “Salmon,” causing the gruff voice outside to order him to “just open the damned door.”
Johnson, seemingly ruffled by the lack of procedure, stood up and unlatched the cheap wood door.
“Agent Johnson, I presume?” queried a mustachioed man in a dark suit. He shuffled past Johnson. A blond-haired, thin woman in her mid-twenties walked behind him. The woman wore a black suit, white blouse, and high-heel shoes that made her taller than Johnson.
When all were in the room and the door was secured, the gruff man gestured to the female said, “Meet the new addition to Team 13.”
Bionic whistled.
Agent Andy slowly said, “well, I’m not a chauvinistic bigot, but why . . . ”
The gruff supervisor answered the unspoken question with, “Not even ultra-secret organizations are free from equal-rightists.”
Johnson turned to the gaunt female and said, “Welcome to Team 13, Agent . . . ”
“Lemafé,” the woman filled in, “and don’t treat me any different because I’m female.”
Frink shot up from his seat at the remark. “You’re female?” he exclaimed. “My God, I need to clean these glasses.”
Bionic added, “And she’s one with big jugs at that.”
“Oh crap. Here come the harassment lawsuits,” the gruff man said. “Johnson, keep him in line.”
“Will do, sir,” Johnson replied as he looked at the hair of the new member of the team. It was blond.
The gruff man itched his side and said, “Agent Lemafé is a newer member of bureau 13. She specializes in occult and has been endowed with – ”
“Big bosoms?” Bionic interrupted.
Johnson ordered Bionic to be silent and the gruff supervisor continued. “. . . with some divine abilities herself. She can heal minor wounds and has a knack for anything medical.” The man paused for a wheezing breath before saying, “She’ll be able to cast buff spells like Bless as well. She has recently demonstrated the ability to summon a holy . . . what was it?”
“A holy hand grenade,’ Lemafé finished.
Andy smirked. “Of Antioch?” he queried sarcastically. No one got the reference.
The supervisor pulled a cigarette out of his suit coat and popped it in his mouth. He spoke with the drug between his lips, making his weathered voice sound even more rough.“Lemafé has excelled in the Bureau training programs and is very orderly.”
Bionic perked up once again. “She dresses like an orderly? That’s hot.”
“Okay, now you’re just sounding stupid,” Frink said, scratching his chin arrogantly. Johnson didn’t even bother to reprimand Bionic.
“So now she needs field experience,” Andy surmised aloud.
The supervisor nodded as he lit his cigarette. His crumpled, creased facial skin seemed to shudder with relief as he took in a relaxing puff. “We thought Lemafé would be a great addition to the most sterile, organized team this side of Chicago.”
Lemafé had kept a proud composure during the speech. Great, Andy thought, another high-and-mighty know-it-all stick-up-her-ass bitch. Reminded Andy of his high school chemistry teacher. She taught him that there was a difference between being organized and being anal.
Johnson inquired about the paperwork of adding a new member to the team, causing the supervisor to add, “She’s been trained as an administrator. She’ll be handling the team’s paperwork from now on.” Johnson constantly cold demeanor actually seemed to brighten temporarily.
The gruff supervisor took another puff of smoke before announcing his exit. “I have a ten-o-clock in Madison, so I’ll be taking my leave. Try to make her feel comfortable, Johnson.” Then the smoking man unlatched the door and walked out.
“Welcome to the team,” Johnson said as he ushered the remaining people out of the room.
Andy could’ve sworn he heard Johnson add, “Enjoy your visit,” before the black-suited agent began to walk to the car.
***
“Finally, a lady!” Bionic said in the kitchen while Lemafé set up her quarters in the basement. It had been about a day since the female was added. She had been staying on the couch in the hallway, but the male population decided to relocate her to the basement when she began complaining of the lack of cushions.
“You know, she’ll be staying with us,” Andy retorted as he poured himself some cereal for supper. He dropped the box at Bionic’s loud reaction.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Bionic screamed, falling to his knees. “Women ruin everything if they’re around too long!”
Frink ran into the kitchen. “That the hell was that?”
“Bionic realized the female is a permanent attachment,” Andy answered as he picked up the spilt Cheerios.
“Oh,” Frink replied. “Hey, did you guys notice her hair color?”
“Brown?”
“No, Blonde. She’s broken our all-brunette thing.”
“What thing?” Andy asked right before he sneezed.
“You know, our image of . . . well, our image,” Frink explained. He stressed the last word for meaning.
“Well, she is different,” Andy agreed. He patted Bionic on the shoulder. The crazy agent was practically in tears.
“In a not-so-good way,” Frink added. He picked up a Cheerio on the floor that Andy missed.
“That’s my opinion, at least,” Andy said before adding, “And I think it’s Bionic’s as well.”
Then Lemafé walked in. The men looked down and remained silent until she left the room.
***
Johnson was replacing a burnt-out light in the hall when Lemafé walked in.
“I was just in the kitchen and the guys kind of . . . ignored me,” she said to him.
“Interesting,” Johnson replied blankly, not wanting to disturb his work.
“Well?” Lemafé said, waiting for a better response. She began tapping her foot on the floor.
“‘Well’ what?” Johnson inquired, hoping Lemafé would just leave him alone. Johnson gently began to screw the lightbulb in.
“Can’t you do something about it?” Lemafé screamed. Johnson clenched his hand and shattered the bulb.
Mark paused a moment before saying, “I’m going to get a new bulb. I’ll see what I can do about your problem.”
Then he left, his hand dripping blood.
Lemafé sighed.
***
Andy was surprised to find Johnson out of the office at two PM. It was a work day, and Johnson always had paperwork. Instead, the black-suited agent was vacuuming the hallway.
When Andy inquired about the unusual circumstance, Johnson loudly replied, “We have a new administrator.” It seemed Andy couldn’t hear, so Johnson turned the machine off. “We have a new administrator.”
“Lemafé? Oh yeah. I suppose that frees up your time.”
“I suppose” Johnson said softly. He apparently had finished vacuuming as he was wrapping up the cord at this point.
“Hey, I saw your hand bleeding last night. Frink had to clean and sterilized the carpet. What happened?” Andy asked as he sat down on the couch.
“The new member ‘startled’ me while I was changing light bulbs.”
Andy nodded understandingly. “Chicks can do that with their complaints. Like shrieking harpies.”
“She’s not a harpy. Agent Frink scanned her to see if she was a supernatural-in-disguise. It was a negative.”
Andy laughed at the serious disappointment in Johnson’s voice. Apparently, Andy wasn’t the only one that wanted Lemafé gone.
Johnson put away the vacuum and sat down. After about two hours of useless sitting, Andy surmised that Johnson was actually bored.
Looks like Lemafé had taken away Johnson’s job. But Andy knew Johnson wouldn’t give up. Ever.
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