(Given During the Interrogation of a Spy)
By Foxtrot Papa Eight Two (A Cloned Man in Black)
. . . You know, there are several types of “men in black” out there. You’ve obviously encountered us, agents for the Majestic Twelve. You’ve probably correctly surmised that we are sinister agents for a clandestine group with a shady purpose at best.
But did you notice what we were wearing?
Black shoes, black pants, black ties, black suit coats, black glasses, and a white shirt. Now, there are other men in black, not working for the Majestic Twelve, mind you, that wear black shirts instead of white. Others yet wear black hats and black trenchcoats as well.
You might be asking why any of this matters.
It matters because of what our uniforms’ colors represent.
You see, we dress in black because we represent a group cloaked in secrets. A group that is meant to be feared. But we wear white shirt because we have something of a noble ideal buried beneath those secrets. We may hide our bright shirts under our dark coats but deep down, we truly want to improve humanity.
There are other men in black out there, as I have mentioned, that wear nothing but black. We often call them men in all black or MiABs. These men represent an organization that has been so corrupted over the years, so convoluted from its original purpose that it would be unable to benefit the world at all. They have become so entwined in their own lies that they have lost all sight of aiding humans in any way.
Do you know who these MiABs represent?
The Illuminati.
Back in the late nineteen-forties, President Truman realized how perverted the Bavarian Illuminati had become and, when several extraterrestrial incidents occurred, he was prompted to create a group separate from the archaic “Illuminators” that could rid humanity from the anomalies of the supernatural.
In the early nineteen-fifties, the first “men in black” were created from outstandingly loyal members of the Central Intelligence Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Internal Revenue Service, and Secret Service. Their uniform was a black suit, tie, trenchcoat, and hat worn with a white shirt.
Why the addition of the trenchcoat and hat? In those times, extreme secrecy was necessary to keep the organization hidden from the tendrils of the Illuminati. The early “men in black” dedicated their lives to the Majestic Twelve and took its secrets to their graves. Since the Truman Administration wisely foresaw that men this devoted would not be around forever, they had these men . . . cloned, in a sense, and genetically manipulated.
The cloning process took a fairly long time, even with extraterrestrial technology. The Majestic Twelve had to use “normal” humans as agents until the late nineties. Before we came about, many men gave into corruption and lost sight of our original goal. Some stooped to the level of the Illuminati and wore all black.
But today we’ve corrected the errors. We’ve eliminated the deviants and regained our noble intentions. We only operate in secrecy because we must, and we will do so until our leader can cleanse the world of its errors and frivolous emotions. When that happens, we will live in a perfected world of reason and order.
And so I ask you this: why fight perfection?
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