Part III

Waswo

The Future Ones go undercover in the Martian Capital, as some dirty dealings take place. Things are not always what they seem…

Oracle led the others out to the stable.

"I guess this is where they get the term horse sense." Flight said

"Oracle's a whiz with horses. It's her powers we thought. Everyone thought she was a born horse trainer. She had more horse sense at ten than most ranchers after fifty." Serena said. "This is old Adair, he's a shmook. Huh. You take care of Flight, huh babe?"

Flight stared "You're kidding?" "Adair was from the second horse we bought. Contessa's second foal. Nothing like Darkmeat or Nickel. You should have seen Nickel. That was a wild horse." Flight stared at the thin old horse. "Here we are in the space age and we're still stuck on horses." The horse decided then to be really annoying and stop all together.

Random stared at his chestnut roan, speckled white and mud brown. Despite the strange resemblance the two were not getting along as well. It didn't help that Random didn't trust animals, and that horses were generally used as food in his part of the demonverse.

"Give Muddy a kick, she's not really so bad, just a big crusty old marshmellow heart." Oracle patted her on the rump. Great dam though."

Static was shocked at the swear word.

"It means mother. You have Lolipop."

"Oh that sounds sweet."

The towering night black beast, gnashed it's teeth couldn't have been a horse.

"That's Lolipop?"

"It once ate all the christmas candy in my stocking. He's a geg right."

"Gegg?"

"Gentically engineered gelding. Cloned is more the term. Most places on Earth don't reproduce horses like that. On Mars they've got lots of freak farms. Brainless meat, Tweaked goats and sheep. No regulations here on animal rights. Poor Lolipop was abandoned."

"I can't ride this guy he'll eat me."

"Come on. Horses are herbivores. He'll just throw and step on you a bit." Oracle said.

"Good."

They got on the horses.

I can't believe were on Mars. It's cool." Flight revelled. Looking at the bustling plains town, below, buzzing like a beehive, so different from the m

"Don’t make a sound just act cool, act natural, like nothing’s wrong. Just saunter in there like we mean business."

Static’s burning eyes scanned the room as he kept his hand on his kitana. Placing it on the bar Static spit in a gesture of machismo male assertiveness.

"I’ll have a milk."

Flight slapped him in the head.

The bartender looked up and handed him a carton of skim milk, as it were perfectly natural.

"You are such a moron," Flight gritted. He set his gun on the bar.

"Whiskey."

The walrus bartender grabbed Flight by the throat.

"We don’t serve your kind here, slave."

"I just wanna-"

"Throw him out."

"But I ordered a manly drink…" Three huge gorillas threw him out into the street.

Random stared at the gorillas, and sat up next to Static in the bar.

"Order me a milk too."

Static tried to maintain his cool, he had watched way too many holeos.

Oracle slapped his shoulder "Easy Skull. You have to excuse my friend. He always gets a little stressed when he kills a man." She clamped his mouth shut.

"Yeah." Static said.

Oracle took on a strange informal accent. Which was a bizzarre cross between a hispanic and New Joisey accent.

"We’re looking for some info. We here someone laid in a supply of wheat."

"Ain’t no wheat on Mars. Just bad attitudes."

"I got it on good sources, that someone brought a pretty good shipment."

"What would varltrash like you want with flour? Going to start a farm?"

Random sighed and grabbed the bar tender by the collar.

"Now we want to know who has the wheat." Oracle said sipping her drink.

"A clan called Pedicure. They are from Earth. That’s all I know."

"Random." Oracle shouted.

Random lifted the walrus off the ground, as Oracle wiped the rim of her glass with the finger.

"Where’d they get this wheat?" Random said

"We didn’t ask."

"I don’t want no trouble from the Corp. I’ll by it but, where’d they get the wheat." Oracle snarled.

"They say it come from Don Karnage that’s all I know."
****

Static sat trying to look macho and drink his milk.

When he heard a bewitching voice.

"Come we shall buy you a drink."

A coweled feminine figure said leading Flight back in.

"Uh thanks."

"No slaves in taverns." He pulled a blaster.

All of a sudden the blaster floated into the hooded figure’s hand.

"No weapons in taverns."

She placed the blaster and a long steel bo staff, next to it.

"Water please."

"Sure thing Thorn."

"Two waters please."

A girl duck followed her into the room. She was young with flowing red hair and a strange fat bill.

She walked into the room and stood on a table.

"I am here to declare the Tenets of the Martian revolution.

Slavery is the cruellest evil in society. It shall be abolished."

"Shut up girl."

"Yeah go back to Earth you filthy duck."

"Where’s your father to curb that tongue? No man’d ever want you."

Someone threw a bottle at her head she avoided.

Static panicked and collected energy in his gloves, they were going to hurt her.

The hooded one held his hand and shook her head.

The girl stared at the crowd.

She pulled out a sliver chakram disk. She flung it against the wall. The disk ricocheted against the wall and knocked her hecklers in the chin, flat on the ground.

"I wasn’t finished." She said. She grabbed it and placed it back on her belt.

"All Hail to the Republic of Mars."

The hooded one raised her glass. "Hail Mars."

The crowd joined her.

"Well Dolly you were kind enough to show up before the Happy Hour to do your little speech."

"Hello. Can I have a Koo Koo cola? I’ve got the cash this time."

"No no dear. Sweet thing. Anything for a true daughter of the revolution. Though you upset the barflies."

"Thank you." She said.

Static looked at her sipping on the can.

"Boy it’s almost like home’s. Well at least the drink." She sighed.

"You have ever try a Koo Koo cola?."

"Well once. My Dad took me to St. Canard once . I wasn’t supposed to interupt or disturb anything but I just wanted to see what it tasted like."

"Well my Dad used to say it would rot my brain and my teeth."

She laughed and held out her hand.

"I’m Dolly Quackerwitz of Hikariwa."

"I’m… Skull." He shook it.

Dolly whistled.

"Hey Wedge, Two KooKoo Colas."

"He has to pay for his."

The duck laughed. "You are such a scoundrel, Wedge."

Static looked very closely at her.

"You’re awfully brave to talk in like that in a place like this."

"Well the people who heckle are cowards or corporate shills anyway. Everybody else listens just fine."

"I don’t think I could talk in a room of friendly strangers let alone a group of rowdy drunks."

Dolly smiled at him.

"You haven’t been on the plains for very long have you?"

"I-"

"You don’t sound like Varltrash thing for one." She laughed "Where did you used to live on Earth? Did you live in St. Canard too?"

The KooKoo Colas arrived.

"Well…"

"I’ve never anyone from St. Canard beside Brother Frappe. I always wanted to find out what happened to it after I left. You know if it was destroyed and stuff. Is St. Canard still okay?"

"I-yeah."

"That’s great. To St. Canard and Mars." She held up her drink.

Static held it up, and she swigged on it.

He joined her and puckered his mouth at the sweetness.

"What’s a matter Skull, can’t take your KooKoo Cola."

Static looked at her broach.

"Wow that’s a nice pin. Emerald?"

"Yeah Brother Justin gave it to me. When he took me in his clan. Isn’t it great? The green is for Earth."

"Brother Justin?"

"Yeah. He’s the leader of the Revolution. We’re fighting to get me back home and end the oppression of Mars."

"He just gave you a nice thing like that?" Flight asked.

"I’d like to meet this Justin."

Oracle and Random scanned the docks, from the roof top of a neighboring building.

"The Harbor Master said that the Pedicures were docked in Pier 4. Their ship is heading out today. That means they have to show up eventually."

Random sat silently thinking

"At the risk of sounding pessimistic what purpose will this serve."

"These Pedicures are the only ones who may know where Don Karnage is. Or at least the only ones we can threaten to tell us. The export of non Terran grain to Mars is illegal, a capital offense at least. I’m surprised they’d even try. There is so little profit. You would have to be stupid, bored or crazy to smuggle grain. Especially when you make a killing in fabrics and electronics."

There was movement down below. Before Oracle could raise her binoculars, Random could see them.

"Two men, Canine. They look awfully…peculiar."

Oracle stared it him. If Random thought something was strange, one should call the presses.

"Let’s go down and greet them."

They walked down the stairs to Pier 4, to engage the two men.

They were dressed in trenchcoats, with ridiculously high necks, obscuring their faces. The fact that Random could discern any particular species was remarkable.

The smaller one engaged her.

"Who are you? What are you doing watching us." he said. Oracle could of sworn she heard that voice on TV or something.

"Hi there. I’m Mo Pedicure." The other one shook her hand. He was wearing poorly damaged leather gloves.

Random smelled the strangest thing all of a sudden. A whiff of chocolate and an unrecognizable herb. Like a tea or something.

Oracle could even smell something "I smell coffee."

"Buddy… Wells." The other one approached suspiciously. He tried to smell the other one. No smell whatsoever. As if he didn’t live. "We are here to pick up our grain shipment."

"We been hearing a thing a two about dis grain shipment. They said Don Karnage pirated a grain vessel a few days ago."

"Well if he is the pirate they say he is

Random tried to ignore his senses. It was too odd to be true.

Oracle leaned on the rail.

"Now we want some answers. And we won’t-"

Random grabbed his scythe and slashed through the two figures.

Nothing happened except their clothes ripped off revealing two aquaeous beings.

"You’ve found us out." The clear one said, the smaller of the two said.

"I remember you. The one my father told me of." Random said.

"The Liquidator." Oracle said.

"In the flesh…or lack thereof." The Liquidator said

"Should have known that you criminal types would work together."

The Liquidator looked at her coldly.

"What you got to hide Buddy? Diamonds, rubies…"
"I’m not a thief any more." The water dog snarled at her.

"Just a smuggler."

"Who are you?" Random asked

"Mochachino sir. Oh you got your scythe all sticky. Let me clean it for you."

"No Thank you." Still not quite used to hacking through people and having them live.

"Who would have guessed the great Liquidator was a two bit smuggler. How are you getting this grain off Mars."

"We’re just picking up our grain. There is nothing illegal in that.We wish no trouble. The very least." Liquidator said staring at them.

Oracle stared them down.

"You know it’s guys like you that really ruin it for the hard working farmers." Oracle said. "Taking grain of Mars is so-"

"We are not taking grain off Mars you idiot. We’re bringing it here."

Oracle scrunched up her eyes.

"I’ve said too much already. I could get attacked for even admitting it."

He tossed her a bag.

"This is flour."

"Yes. Terran Flour."

"It’s illegal to sell it here."

"Since when is it illegal to sell Terran goods in Mars."

"The Corporation doesn’t want any competition. It’s made all other brand names contraband. I’ve been posing as a grain exporter to get this flour in."

"But it doesn’t make any sense."

"Supply and Demand, gouging prices, getting rid of your competition. If anybody should no about dishonest business practices, I would. The Corporation makes Flud Water look like a Greenpeace."

Mochacino, not as adept as understanding economics tried explaining further.

"We’ve got a lot of buyers for this flour. They can’t afford the Corporation brand flour." Mochacino said concerned "The Corporation makes them pay all their wages just for food and shelter. It’s no better than slavery." The sweet large dog lowered his eyes.

"Sold my soul to the company store." Oracle hummed.

"You could say that." Mochacino said.

"We’re undercutting the competition. The same flour for a fraction of the cost." Liquidator said so strangely familiar and foreign at the same time.

"And you get?"

"In a lot of trouble if the Corporation catches us. But the worst I can get is jail. " The Liquidator said

It’s amazing what a thousand years can do to a person. The Liquidator was breaking the law to help people. Selling Black market flour to the poor.

"So there is no grain here. You didn’t get anything from the Don Karnage."

"Don Karnage?" Buddy laughed. "Who told you all this junk? Was that Wedge down at the Cantina?"

"Don Karnage is evil."

"That Wedge is an idiot. Thinks just because my son was kidnapped by the Time Pirates, our whole family is in cahoots with Don Karnage."

"We are looking for him."

"I wish I could help you. I want to get that no good fox for kidnapping my son like that. I haven’t see Frappucino in three years." Buddy growled bitterly, "That is not right, taking someone away from his home like that."

Oracle noticed genuine contempt for Don Karnage in his voice. He seemed to be telling the truth.

"All I know I that Frappe sometimes is seen in the country side. Last time we heard from him he sent us a letter from Waswo City Proper. He could just be dropping off his transmissions."

"Why can’t the Corporation just be nice? Then we wouldn’t have to do all this nasty fighting. Why can’t everybody just get along?"

"We do what we can. We just wanted to help out." The Liquidator said, putting his hand on the shoulder of his naieve son.

"And there is no profit in this?"

"I think what we’re doing is it’s own reward."

Oracle turned around, "We’ll keep searching. I guess we never did find that grain."

Buddy smiled.

"Thank you. We won’t forget this."

Mochaccino stared.

"But Miss Oracle the grain is right here."

"Well I know that, and you know that. But who else does?"

Random stared at Oracle.

"You’re letting those two get away?"

"Once a Martian always a Martian. We want Karnage, not those two. They aren’t causing any harm."

***

Flight and Static followed Dolly and Thorn through the town.

The two girls moved confidently through the packed streets of Waswo, completely unafraid of all the unsavory and dirty looking characters. Sometimes Dolly even waved at them.

"Aren’t you afraid?" Static asked.

"Not really. People exaggerate about Waswo. If you respect people they aren’t so bad. Besides they know we’re supporting the revolution."

"What is this revolution?" Flight a

"To end the Corporation’s control of Mars. They’ve run the show too long. The people should rule themselves. Not have their lives controlled by some stupid company all the way on Earth."

Flight stared.

"You’re awfully young to be a revolutionary."

"You’re pretty…I mean you’re pretty brave."

Three Wolves with swords approached.

"Hey Miss Dolly, is this guy and his slave bothering you?"

"Why does everyone assume I’m a slave?"

"You don’t have a sword." Dolly whispered.

"Hey I’m not a slave. I’m from Earth."

"It’s okay Davie, Ringo Elvis. These two are harmless. Fresh blood. Barely off the ship a few hours."

The duck clamped her arms around Flight and Static.

"Look at this guy doesn’t even have a sword." Dolly laughed hysterically.

The three scary wolves joined her.

"Isn’t that funny?"

"Good thing you got Little Miss Dolly to protect you." The wolf laughed.

"What you said last week was really interesting about taxation without representation was really smart, Dolly. If you need us to put up a sword for your battle you let us know."

"The revolution isn’t just about battle. But we thank you for your support."

"Bye Dolly, watch out for those Toughs."

"Thanks guys."

Flight covered his face. "I have never been so embarassed."

"Well at least you’re in one piece." Dolly said.

"I can see why you aren’t worried about the streets." Static said.

"I can take care of myself. But it is nice to see that people can look out for each other." She smiled.

"Here, Ladies first." Static smiled. Helping Dolly down onto the street.

"Thank you Mr. Skull."

Flight watched the two young dorks flirt. What was this the 1800’s?

The other one who silently watched finally spoke again in her strange voice.

"What brings you to Waswo?"

"Well I guess we can trust you guys." Static said

"Are you sure?" Flight pulled him aside and whispered.

"They seem nice." Static whispered back.

"Yeah but they could be thieves or something."

"Stop being so cynical." Static grumbled

The girl and the woman stared at each other.

Static pulled away.

"We are looking for Don Karnage. The Pirate guy. You wouldn’t happen to know where to find him would you?"

Dolly turned around.

"Don Karnage. You come to join in-"

"We’re here investigating an act of piracy, and going to arrest him."

Dolly turned whiter than her pale feathers could.

"Oh no you can’t."

"What?"

"I thought I sensed something strange on you." Thorn approached him. "You smell like voltage."

"I’m sorry Skull. But you have to run now."

"What?"

"I pity your mistake young one." Thorn said.

Thorn grabbed him.

She was fifty times stronger. She seemed to float Static towards her and push him away across the street.

"Let’s get going Dolly. We have to warn the others."

They ran down the street and vanished.

Flight growled "Hey ladies. Nobody does that to my little friend."

He took out his pistol.

"Flight what are you-"

The bullets shot into the air, and started heading towards Static.

"Oh shoot."

He ran into the saloon trying to dodge the bullets which kept following him. Like in some nutty cultural record. They finally ran out of momentum and hovered in the heavy magnetic field floating over his head.

He walked outside towing the bullets, forks stuck to his nose, a chain dragging behind his foot.

"Flight you you you. Jerk faced…. Jerk."

"Static."

"That lady magnetized me." He said trying to rip the fork off his nose. His hand stuck onto the fork.

"And you almost killed me with your bullets."

"Sorry Static."

"It’s okay. Help me get rid of all this junk."

Flight pulled a spoon off his head.

"Well we know she has electricity powers."

"Yeah."

Flight grabbed onto the butterknife sticking against Static’s ear.

Flight’s pistol stuck to Static.

"Hey let go."

"I can’t. I’m-"

"I said let-"

They fell over stuck together. Flight fell on top of static.

"Get of me you feathery geek you."

"Shut up. It’s your stupid girlfriend who got us into this mess."

Oracle and Random stared at them.

"Am I interupting something?"

"Static is magnetized. Some evil energy chick zapped him across the street."

"The reports speak of an empath, at least 10^th level, inferring something about magnetic powers" Oracle handed Flight the dossier. He stared as Static to continue to try to pry himself away.

"Well they were right. She tossed Static like an old kleenex."

Random’s scythe began to become attracted to Static. Random held onto it tightly trying to keep it from floating away.

Flight came across the picture of the girl.

"Hey, It’s Static’s girlfriend." Flight made a obnoxious kissing noise.

"Shut up." Static trying to let go of his hand stuck to the fork on his forehead. "How can you tell anyway? She’s wearing a mask, dummy."

Flight could see right through any mask after years of practice with his grandfather, Darkwing Duck, seeing him both in and out of his mask. It was obvious to him.

"I’m good like that. Please it’s obviously her, how many girls have a bill that large." Flight laughed.

"We’ve come across our first Time Pirate."

Random tried to control his scythe.

"Two. The preacher girl was one too."

The scythe flew out of Random’s grip and three centimeter next to Static’s eye.

Static passed out.

"Random don’t you have a lightning spell or something this is embarassing."

From across the street a woman was emptying her garbage can. The lid floated over and smacked him in the Flight in the head.

"Ouch, and painful."

"We’ll fix Static first. Then we’ll chase after them."

Wells and Mo sloshed down the street in their coats.

"Boy Mars is sure a swell place Dad. But I’m beginning to miss Peanut Butter, and Java, even Krakatoa back home. Do you think they miss me?"

Buddy laughed. Mo loved his cats more than even he did. The kid couldn’t walk down the street without finding some new stray.

"Of course they do. Who else are they going to treat like dirt. We’re almost done here. We’ll be back in St. Canard in no time."

"I wish Frappe were coming too."

Mo had a brilliant idea

"Dad, I had an idea. Wouldn’t that be nice if we could find him before we left? Then maybe he could come home to visit."

"I don’t think he’s going to be back for a long time Mo."

Buddy hadn’t been completely honest with those two SHUSH agents earlier. Frappe hadn’t really been kidnapped by Don Karnage. He had run away from home all on his own. Buddy almost couldn’t blame him. What was the life of a exporter compared to that of a space pirate or whatever. But it still hurt that Frappe had turned to a life of crime. Buddy had tried to keep his children away from that. Even Joey. But the fact two of his own children were hardened criminals, still really hurt him.

Mo lifted his ears.

"Dad did you hear that?"

"I don’t know."

It was foot falls.

"Sounds like some one’s coming."

"What should we do Dad?"

"Let me do all the talking Mo. Just get ready to run, just in case."

"Okay Dad."

He hoped that Mo would continue to stay well behaved and quiet.

"Well well well. It’s the Coffee brothers. Out to screw the corporation again."

They were surrounded by a gang of toughs.

"Do you know what we do to traitors to the company here?"

"You let them get arrested and go to jail." Mocha said sweetly.

The gang laughed coldly.

"Oh you won’t live long enough to see that."

Buddy stood in front of his son.

"Leave my kid out of this. You think he’d be smart enough to pull this scam on his own. Just let him get away and I won’t cause any trouble."

"We gotta teach you two a lesson. No one screws with the Corporation."

"You’re steam, puppy dog."

The Liquidator guarded his son.

"Get going Mo. I’ll fend them off."

"Dad-"

The tough pulled out a flame thrower.

The Liquidator jumped in the flames path and Mo could run.

The other one evaporated Mo’s leg. They collected him in a sponge.

From the roof two figures appeared.

"Hey tough guys lookin for us." The strange New Joisey accent drifted from the roofttop

"It’s The Time Pirates." A tough cried out.

Don Karnage activated his light saber, and they jumped off the roof into the fray.

Don Karnage sliced the flame-thrower in half, and punched the operator out. He was beset upon by five blaster wielding toughs in a line.

His lightsaber deflected each shot away from him. He flipped into the line and attacked them all at once.

Frappe froze the second operator and grabbed his brother and hefted him over one shoulder.

"Come on Mo don’t conk out on me now. We’ll fix you up."

"Frappe." The coffee dog said weakly.

"You’d think I’d let a bunch of goons get my brother."

Don Karnage incapacitated the last of the guards. More would appear any second.

"Mr. Wells, I presume." he grabbed the sponge and disappeared with his lieutenant into the dark city streets.

***

The Cloister sat silent.

Brian was on guard, but no one was sleeping yet.

Frappe poured coffee on his brother’s wound.

"He’s still in shock." Frappe announced

"I never should have let him come. He’s not made to fight like we were." Buddy said bitterly.

"I’ll be okay dad." Mo said. "It’s the Company men I’m worried about. Did you have to hit them so hard Mr. Karnage?" Mocha shivered in shock.

"If only they had afforded you that luxury, Mr. Pedicure." Don Karnage laughed.

"It’s just stupid. Why did I think we could stop them?" Buddy fretted.

"It’s not your fault Mr.Wells. You did the best you could. But the company will not rest until all of Mars is under it’s oppression."

Buddy looked at his two sons reunited, after all these years.

He looked up grudgingly at Don Karnage.

"Thanks for saving us."

"Fuhget bout it." The fox said.

"All these years I’ve been bad mouthing you to everybody. And everything is true."

"Hey, I’ve gotten worse than a few insults, Mr. Wells. You’re free to stay at the Cloister as long as it takes. Those toughs are going to be coming the streets for you guys. Is there any other way you can get home other than transport."

"I have a friend who lives out of Rivielle. She can get us to the transport there."

There was an alert bell rang loud.

"Justin Justin." The voice of Dolly cried out.

Don Karnage exited the building. And caught the screaming running Quackerwitz.

"Justin. Big trouble, Big big trouble." Dolly panted.

Thorn followed after.

"The Corporation has sent new mercenaries."

"Mercenaries?"

"Strange ones. Like none I’ve ever sensed."

"One has wings, wings and a gun. Like a real gun not like a blaster"

Don Karnage looked confused

"I thought ducks are supposed to have wings."

Brian glared.

"I don’t even have a bill."

"Point taken Mr. Owens."

"What kind of kooky time line do you come from? Ducks only have one set of arms."

"The other one we saw had magnetic powers."

"Another person with magnetic powers."

"Strong too. I doubt I could have pulled off that lightning attack of his."

Frappe left the room.

"How’s your brother?" Dolly asked.

"He misses his cats. He’ll be okay. What’s up?"

Frankie sat down.

"There are some new mercenaries in town. Not just toughs either. They are Terran, very powerful."

"Number One, We are going to need to buy some information. Can you find anyone?" Don Karnage said.

Frappucino crossed his arms. "I’ve got a few people I can ask. It won’t be cheap."

Don Karnage tossed him a golden brooch.

"That’ll have to do for now."

"We could always use soft currency." Lieutenant Pedicure said.

Don Karnage sighed at his lieutenant’s greed "Bills aren’t worth the paper their printed on."

"You’re going to get cheated."

"Typical of a merchant’s son." Don Karnage joked.

"How utterly bourgeois." Frankie said.

"Like you are one to judge. The McDuckes are so rich they make the King of Mexica look borgeois."

The hooded duck grunted in frustration."

"I can’t believe we have to trade a solid gold brooch for some info on a bunch of overpaid corporate shills." Frappe said looking at it "It’s not fair."

"Revolution is sucker’s game, Pedicure."