Webnail Polish

Drake Mallard was his kitchen. Gosalyn entered soon after

"Hey Gos. How was the Orthopaedist today?"

"Stupid Pedist He said I have to keep my stupid braces on for a few more weeks." Gosalyn grumbled

"Come on Gos. Braces are perfectly normal. You don’t want your legs to grow out all crooked."

"He says every week after he takes out the rubber bands that it’ll just be another month. I’m sick of these things."

"Look Kiddo, you should feel lucky, you won’t grow out crooked." Drake really didn’t want to think how much these things were costing him. But it was normal. One of the things any parent could look forward too. He sighed. No Vacation in the Bahamas this year.

"Hmm."

Another girl with strange fin glasses was following her.

"Dad, this is Genie. Genie, Drake Mallard."

"Hi Drake." She said genially. Shaking his hand. It was weird to hear someone his daughter’s age call him Drake. She was probably one of those hippy children.

"Nice to meet you. Some Glasses there Genie."

"Thank you." She blushed.

"Is Launchpad in?" the little girl sounded like an adult.

"He’s upstairs."

"Oh. Okay."

Drake watched them go into the house. Genie was primping her hair. Drake would never understand what all these 12 year old girls saw in Launchpad. Gosalyn Mallard had a car pool full of giggling girls watching him every day. Launchpad took it in stride. But Gosalyn had never brought one of them inside the house. Of course this one was kind of strange.

Gos had never invited another girl into their house before. She was the biggest tomboy. It was probably someone as sports crazy and wild as she was. But it was always good to see his girl make friends.

He walked into his own kitchen to the strangest scene. Launchpad and Gosalyn were sitting side by side blowing on their nails.

"What are you doing Launchpad?"

"Drying."

"Would’ya like me to do your nails Drake?" Genie asked.

"What are you talking about? My nails. I’m a man."

"Lots of boys in our school wear nail polish."

"Yeah it’s cool."

"Hey DW, come on it’s fun." LP encouraged.

"I’m good at this. You don’t have to worry about me spilling anything."

"No thank you…Genie."

"Oh don’t be such a spoilsport, Dad."

"And what are these colors. Trash Green, Fish Scales, Noxious Stink Rose. Acidic Bubble Gum. They sound disgusting."

"They’re already mixed together. So you don’t have to waste your time."

"Please, after reading those names I’d feel more comfortable swimming in raw sewage."

"Come on, I promise you don’t have to leave it on." Gosalyn said

"It’s not going to hurt anyone. I think they look great." Launchpad stared at his nails.

"You are getting really weird LP." Drake folded his newspaper, "If you want to put toxic sludge on your finger tips to look glamorous, you can leave me out."

Genie and Gosalyn crawled on the floor so they wouldn’t be heard. Drake was snoozing on the couch, as always. Gosalyn looked at her father.

"Oh look isn’t that sweet. He’s all tuckered out on the couch." She said pouting her lips. "Gosh oh gee Genie! I don’t think I can bear to do this to him."

Genie sighed.

"Well I guess that’s enough guilt? You got the acetone."

"Right here Gos." Genie said nervously. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Genie. Do you know what it is like to go to school after a shower with guacamole shampoo and whip cream hair mousse? I’m going to make this an April Fool’s Dad here won’t soon forget"

"It’s May 19^th." Genie said.

"He always gets me early." Gos crossed her arms.

"Well what if your Dad just puts on shoes?"

"Trust me, I know my dad. He doesn’t wear shoes"

Genie had never seen any kind of relationship like this. Gos and her dad, they fought like cats and dogs, they never let anything rest, and they plotted against each other all the time. And yet Genie was so sure that they weren’t a father and daughter who could love each other more.

One of the ways they showed their love was taking the time to drive each other crazy. Parabola, her big sister, was never around long enough, with the store and her boyfriends. Gosalyn had a parent die too, both of them, but she had Drake and Launchpad take her in. She wasn’t scared off by strange family situations like a lot of the girls she had tried to be friends with. Gosalyn felt as comfortable in the tiny canvas cot in the apartment upstairs of her sister’s store as Genie did tromping down to Suburbia and sharing nachoes and Hockey Night with DW (as Launchpad called him) and Launchpad.

Gosalyn was a good find in a friend.

"Oh Look Dad. I think your webs are going to be so pretty."

"Is he-"

"I swear, he’s out like this until 1PM everyday. He’s not waking up."

Genie was getting nervous.

"What color? Trash Green, Red, Acidic Bubble Gum, Oooh look at this Blasterific Blue."

"Hey I’d go with blue."

"But my Dad is sooooooo conservative. He’d want the red. Decisions Decisions"

"You could try all of them. That way he can tell us which one looks best." Genie found herself laughing.

"Genie. I think you may be onto something. Here you take the blue and I’ll take The Acid Bubble Gum."

It was entirely priceless. Here Drake Mallard dead to the world on a Saturday afternoon. Gos tried to explain to him that lots of guys wore nail polish. But he was an adamant critic. Well the only thing to do to a closed mind is to expose it to new experiences.

Drake Mallard’s feet hanged over the end of the couch end as he was having a nightmare about a morgue, and every once and awhile kiss his pillow. Genie opened the blue. Gosalyn laughed.

"OH. My daddy is so pretty." She said blowing on his first painted web nail.

"We’re going to be triplets."

"Here hand me the Trash." Genie said. "Your dad has really great webs. He should be like a model or something. Selling socks or something.

"Okay Okay. This is the slow drying stuff right?"

"Oh no this will take like 10 minutes to dry tops."

"Well what will we do after that. Dad has at least 3 more hours of sleep."

"We could always try blush. A little lip stick."

"No I think my dad is the natural fresh faced beauty. Let’s try to do his finger nails."

"Gos, he’ll wake up."

"Not if we do it right. What’s a good color."

"Purple?"

"Nah that would match to well."

"I got this."

"Glitter Sun."
"It’s like kind of this orangey stuff, my mom gets in Duckberg."

"I didn’t know you’re Mom lived in Duckberg."

"She doesn’t. She just practically does."

"Well I don’t get it. If she lives in St. Canard, why do you live with your sister?"

"It’s complicated."

"Anymore complicated than having three?"

"Mom is a flake, especially since Daddy died. I mean all of us Guilliere girls are. My mother had Parabola when she was 17… Parabola ran away from home when she was 15. I’m like the only one who hasn’t had a baby or tried to hitch to Cape Suzette or something dumb. Mom wants me to be stable. She could never stay in one place. But Parabola is always in her store, so I’ll always have a roof over my head."

Gosalyn picked on her discomfort right away and changed the subject.

"Your sisters name is Parabola?"

"My mom liked the names in her Science class. Genome, Antinode, Ballistic."

"What kind of stuff does she sell?"

"Clothes, great jewelry. Just a lot of ‘odds and ends.’"

"Oh."

"That’s the name of the store ‘odds and ends’ Yeah Para isn’t the most creative person, but brother can she dress."

"Wait. Isn’t that that place on 4^th?"

"Yeah."

"I thought that was a junk store?"

"It’s second hand stuff." Genie held her head up high. You know second hand stores are much more helpful to the environment than recycling. I’ll bring you down sometime."

"That would be cool. I’ve never been in a ju- second hand store."

"They got a lot of one of kind things in there and it is really cheap. Especially if you make friends with my sister. She’d give you a rack of clothes before she would send you out of her store without buying anything."

"Hmm."

"That is so cool."

"Let’s try to do his finger nails."

Gos tickled his bill. He brushed it and dropped his arm onto one side of the couch.

Gosalyn tried not to cheer too loud. Genie was through his left hand and Gosalyn was relishing to start his right when.

He woke up. Yawned. "Hey, what are you doing down there with my hand? Under the Coffee table and where’s your friend?"

"Nothing." She said rolling her eyes as innocently as possible.

"Come on Gos I expected more than that from you. A wet hand during a nap. You are losing your touch. Personally, I haven’t done a prank that silly since grade school." He yawned, "I guess we all can’t be comedic geniuses."

"Since when is Avacado hair, great comic genius?"

"It is when it happens. Better luck next year."

Gosalyn tried not to give herself away "Okay. You win this round. But the war isn’t over."

"Yeah Yeah. Don’t make anymore noise okay?"

"Sure thing Dad. Come on Genie. Let’s go upstairs."

Launchpad came in the room at noon.

"Good Morning DW."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Say, I see you let the girls do it. Now we can be hip together."

"What are you talking about, LP? And why are you still wearing that creepy industrial waste on your fingers?" He scratched himself.

"It’s called Trash green. And at least it’s the manly color."

"When I have any idea what you are talking about, can we go get something to eat?"

"You let the girls do your nails."

"What?"

"I wouldn’t have let them paint my web nails pink and red."

Drake looked down at his feet.

"GOSALYN!!!!"

He looked at his left hand completely done is blindingly shiny yellow nail polish.

Gosalyn and Genie came down the stairs.

"APRIL FOOLS"