I could not possibly be more bored.

General Sunday tedium combined with the desire for Someone (or one of two Someones) to text is excruciating. Especially when you know these two and too busy with their families to pick up the phone.

Not that I even care that much. Sir Pretty already burnt his bridge to ARville when he failed to include that ever-so-significant 'x' at the end of his last text message (that 'x' only being significant in its absence). When we've already established an x-ing precedent, and you decide you're not in an x-ing mood, well...you're sending me a pretty clear signal. I've accepted it - now it's time for you to stop giving me those longing looks all day long.

And then there's BG, who, you know, I'd like to get a text from, but, like, to what end? I'm tired of pretending to be interested in sex that I don't even care about. Can't I just be in a passionless marriage already? Why must I wait til I'm 40?

My God - it's not even 6:00. I can go to bed at 8:30, right?

Kelsey, it's your birthday, I love you. If your life was half as boring as mine, we could be on the phone together right now. x