Not so Innocent

By: Stefani

NC17

I sat in my dressing room brushing my hair up as I slipped a bandana over the purple mess.  "Stupid Matt," I thought, "Said the purple would look nice."  I got dressed and gathered my stuff up.  Once again, I hadn?t had a match, just accompanying.  I slung my jacket on and practically shoved my big ?ole leather combat boots onto my feet as I opened the door. Just as I swung it open, Chris was there with his hand, looking like he was ready to knock.

	"Oh, hey Chris." I said smiling as he came in a bit I moved so we were both in and I shut the door.

	"Hey." He said smiling, "You remember when we went to that place in Vegas?" He said as I nodded. "Well? I found a kinda sweet club ?bout 5 miles down the road? I thought we could go again." He said as I grinned widely. He wanted to go out again!

	"Sure." I said trying to squeal widely and throw my arms around him, "I?ll just leave the keys for Matt and Amy." I added as I opened the door back up and we walked out.

	Chris? rental wasn?t the best, but not the worst either. It was a silver 2001 Impala, with leather interior and a sun roof and all!  I sat down quietly after he had our stuff in the truck and got in.

	"What?s this place called?" I asked curiously. All he did was grin as he started the car up and slowly started to pull out.

	"So? do you got a match tomorrow?" He asked as I rolled my eyes as he hadn?t answered my question.

	"Maybe, if they can fit it in." I said as he reached down and flipped the radio on to some alternative station. I  saw his free hand creep its way towards my leg. Slowly? faster? faster? touchdown! His palm sat on my knee casually as he made a few turns down some older, broken up streets making it appear as we had landed in the ghetto somehow. He stopped in front of some old building with a good amount of cars; it was a Monday night so it shouldn?t be as busy as it was normally on the weekend. There was no sign for where we were or anything as he got out and opened my door.

	"Thanks." I said smiling as we walked towards the front door that was covered so you couldn?t see in. He pulled the door open and let me in first, as I was surrounded by about 2 or 3 dozen men, loud music and a bar. Now this is what I?m talking about.

	"This okay?" He asked as I nodded and we walked over to the bar. "Two beers please." Chris said taking a seat and motioning for me to sit beside him.  I did so, even though the hard stool hurt my perfect ass. I shifted a bit until I could get a little comfy and finally Chris yanked me up and onto his lap. I smiled as two beers were shot out way and I quickly drank my down in about 20 seconds flat. Chris just smiled as he slowly sipped at his. As the music got louder, I grew more impatient and Chris was just taking his jolly good time. Finally, I snatched it from his hand and downed the rest as I pulled him up.

	"Come on, the music is getting to me." I said pulling him up.  I swayed my body perfectly to the song and swinging my arms in the air.  I felt his hands move to my sides and pull me closer. I responded happily by shaking my little ass as I felt him start to grind with me, lost in the music. A smile curved on my lips as I got closer and I grinded back a little, feeling him start to get a bit happy there.  I felt his hands rundown my back and grab my ass and hold as I slow song came on.  He held me closely as I wrested my head on his shoulder feeling the sway of his body back and forth.

	"You?re so pretty." He said softly as I mumbled and kept with the beat of the music.  I felt his soft lips on my neck, just laying gentle kisses everywhere. I growled a little and tilted my head giving him a little bit of a wider access. I tilted my head up to his and looked deep into his gorgeous eyes, grinning slightly as his lips took mine. His were so soft on the contrary to mine which here faintly watermelon scented from the Chap Stick.  His kisses grew a little more wild as the song, dance and bar were long forgotten.  His tongue sank into my mouth and I met it back as his hands were roaming my whole body slowly and I was hard as a rock.

	"Chris? les? les getouta here." I said in-between kisses.

	"Y-Yea." He said barely able to talk., "Stay here." He instructed as he walked up to the front bar and said a few words as I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see some guy about 27ish with short brown hair.

	"Hey cutie." He said smiling as I felt his hands slap my ass, "That your boyfriend?" he asked.

	"Um.. yes? I guess?"

	"You guess? Well either he is or he isn?t." As in perfect timing, Chris came back and gave the guy one look and he ran scared. Chris was a WWF Superstar, this guy was some computer nerd.

	"Ready?" He asked smiling as he showed me a key in his hand. I put my hands on his face pulling him into a kiss as he took my hand and pulled me to the back and opened a door that showed a flight of steps. We desperately tried to climb the stairs while Chris was still delivering kisses to my tender flesh. Finally, we reached the top without falling as he opened the front door to a room. At first the old door wouldn?t open, so be fricking body-slammed it to reveal an ancient bed and dust and shit?

	"Perfect." He said as he lifted me up and shut the door, placing me on the bed. He was on me immediately, sucking, chewing, pulling my shirt off? I just moaned and went with it as I reached up and grabbed him by his blonde curls and pulled his lips to mine.  He climbed on the bed, hovering over me and licked his way down my now bare chest.  He tilted his head up every now and then to catch my lips as he gently kissed my hard-on through my pants before he got rid of those too leaving me naked and hard with a giant Canadian licking me. YES! I felt his lips go to my cock as he circled it and started to move his tongue up and down.

	"Oh God Chris?" I said as his head bobbed up and down quickly and I arched my back to try to slide for of myself into his mouth. Just as I felt a tremor begin to shake through my body, his head was gone. "Ch-Chriiiiisie." I whined, "No... stop?. More please!"

	"Shh Jeff." He said as he motioned me over.

	"Huh?" I asked as he got on all fours.

	"Get me ready." He said.

	"What?! I? gonna-"

	"Yes?" Chris said. He was going to let ME be on top? wow? Don?t have to tell me twice! I spread his legs a little as I stuck a few fingers in my mouth to get them wet as I stuck one in him.

	"Oooo God?" Chris said as I moved it around and he backed up, I swear to God his ass would have eaten my whole hand right there if I hadn?t remained a little control. I slowly stuck another finger in and moved it around as he backed up against it. I felt a squishy button as I moved my fingers back to it and held it there. He was about ready to loose it now as I stood up a little. I looked at my throbbing cock that was ready to explode as I sat at his entrance and slowly pushed in about halfway and moved around as he backed up, ate my cock and knocked me backwards in the process so my dick was still in his ass.

	What is he? oh Lord. I was on my back, he was on top? He started to go up and down on me, panting, his blonde locks bouncing. I put my hands on his hips so he didn?t loose balance. His weight felt hike it might crush me when he came down far.

	"Oh God Chris?" I said as he moaned and yelled my name, "Chris, slow down? I?m gonna cum? slow?" Just as I said to, he slid all the way down on me so he was sitting on my stomach and I was farther in him then I had ever been in anyone? ever.

	I felt a deep tremor go through my body as I shot my steamy essence into him.  He carefully laid back a little as I came on him, we were in one helluva position. He pulled out when my orgasm was over, but still lay atop me. I reached up and found his cock, but I was having a hard time trying to get him off like this. I got Chris off of my and set him on the bed and spread his legs a little as I gently took his very hard cock in my hand and started to rub it slowly and gently.

	"God Jeffy? harder, me rough." He said as my eyes popped open a little. I did so harder as he nearly lifted both of us off the bed with his bucking. Finally he came in a hot, strong, force and I put my mouth over his cock to catch it all as it came. He tasted of strong, thick, salty. I thought I would choke after a minute, but he died down as I laid next to him, a sweaty mess. His hand reached over and found my belly button ring and he tugged at it gently.

	"That was pretty good Jeff." Chris said. Pretty good?!  What the hell, that was pretty DAMN good! "We?ll work on your positions though." He added, "Ever heard of S&M or bondage or anything?" I swear, my breathing stopped right there.

	"You? you like that stuff?" I said trying to spit the words out.

	"Yea? you never have?" he asked.

	"Chris? I?ve only had sex like 3 times." I said sounding stupid and like a total newbie.

	"That?s it? Well, practice makes perfect Jeffy." God he made it sound like a fucking sport.

	"Don?t? worry, we?ll work on your skills." He said grinning, "You my Jeffy, are going to come home with me tonight. Clean up." It wasn?t a question, it was a demand. God? what had I gotten myself into again?

Pt2

	I cleaned myself up a bit and got dressed as I could hear Chris calling for me. I shuddered a bit? Matt HAD warned me after all? god why hadn?t I listened?

	"Almost done?" Chris yelled as I sighed and opened the door to see him smiling widely.

	"Done." I informed him as he grinned and walked us out. We walked down the stairs back to the familiar bar scene-like atmosphere as I got a few whistles and he took my hand and I followed him to his car again.

	"Jeff, you got tomorrow off right?" he asked as I gulped. I considered lying, I knew we both had been granted a days leave. But somehow the right answer came out.

	"Yes." I said as he grinned and continued driving, "Chris?" I asked after a bit of the scenery started to change, "Where are we going?"

	"The airport, didn?t think I?d drive to Tampa did you?" He asked chuckling as words got caught in my throat. And I had a feeling they weren?t the only thing that would get caught in my throat tonight if you catch my drift.

	The flight wasn?t too bad. Since it was late, they actually had 2 seats open! Lucky? for Chris. Actually? the thoughts kinda opened me up a little to experience new things. My breakup with Jay was rough and I was used to the tender loving, not the rough stuff Chris was into. Damn, Matt had gone out with Chris a few times, and he never mentioned anything like this! The whole flight, Chris casually dropped his hand on my leg, not enough to stir attention, but enough to make my member rise a bit.  I stared out the window next to me and leaned my head against the cold glass and gazed at the outside.

	"Don?t get too sleepy on me." Chris said with a small chuckle as his hand rubbed my leg a little before it was gone completely. He got real close when he added the next part. "Not like you could fall asleep with a huge hard-on like that!" My eyes popped out and I immediately searched around to see if there were any people, thank God, and there weren?t.

	"Aw, don?t act like it ain?t there boy?" He cooed as I nibbled at my lip. "Because when I get your home I?m gonna-"

	"Is there a Mr. Irvine on the plane?" A voice came from the back. Chris raised his hand as the stewardess came over and handed him a phone. "You have a call? they said it was urgent." She said.

	"How did anyone reach me?" He asked as she explained that this person called the airport and got your flight number, something about it being family and very important. Chris answered the phone only making me wonder more and more who it was and remember to thank them.

	"Hello? yes? He?s with me. What?! You never did! I swear Matt!" Matt! It was Matty! Please let him save me! "Matt, we?re going to Tampa. Because? you know?" I had this strong temptation to snatch the phone and beg Matt to save me, I wasn?t made out for whips and chains! I never even used a dildo for fuck?s sake!

	"Fine! You can talk to him." Chris said as he handed me the phone. Thank you God! Chris excused himself to the bathroom.

	"Matty!" I squealed.

	"Jeff? what did I tell you about Chris?! " he said scolding.

	"But Matt? I didn?t know and? and? oh please save me." I begged thinking of everything I was going to go through.

	"Why didn?t you just say no?" he asked as a lady came down the isle and I lowered my voice.

	"I just couldn?t and then he? he let ME fuck him! ME!" I said in a loud whisper.

	"I know, he did the same to me, but Jeffy you can?t take what he wants to do to you? I couldn?t! There?s no way you can, just? get off the plane when it lands and call Jay and stay with him and I?ll be down and-"

	"Matt! I can?t though? Chris?ll? I dunno but I?m scared?"

	"Jeff, it?s just Chris, I?m sure he?ll understand." Chris was walking down the isle as I quickly whispered.

	"I?ll try, come down and get me tomorrow." I said as I hung up feeling a bit more confident at the sight of his beaming face.

	"We?re almost there." He said as we were instructed to buckle up. I did so as the plane landed. Images of what might happen ran through my head? who knows, maybe this could be my kind of thing after all! We got off the plane and Chris called a taxi. We waited outside in the cold for the car to come as he put his arm around me when no one was looking.

	"Don?t worry Jeffy, I?ll warm you up." He said as the yellow car squealed up and we got in the back. Chris directed him to his house as his glowing eyes drilled into me the whole ride. The driver kept flashing us wary looks as he followed Chris?s directions.

	Chris paid him and we got out and the car screeched away leaving me and Chris and a huge house and darkness. "Come on babe." He whispered huskily as his huge hand took my paler, weaker one and he walked up to the front door and unlocked it showing off a very nice house? crystal, elegant? wonderful. "You like?" He asked not expecting an answer as he dropped our luggage and pulled my down a hallway and down some stairs where the loving crystal turned to torturous gray.

	"Let?s have some fun." He said as we reached the bottom step. What I saw was enough to make me piss my pants; whips, chains, a black bed with chains everywhere, I cabinet full of lubes of every flavor and every brand? paddles, even leather belts from wrestling! Chris broke me from my trance as he pulled me into a loving kiss; violent and rough as his hands moved all over my chest, seeking out my nipples and pinching them.

	"First I?ll have my fun and then you." He said as he pulled me over to a wall with wrist shackles? No way? he wasn?t?

	"Chris I du-" Before I could finish he had my wrists on the way and spread my legs a little and shackled them. Did he realize that I was still clothed? Obviously because he came over with a long knife. I swear to God that I thought he was going to cut me apart as he chopped my shirt off of me and sucked at one of my nipples.

	"Jeffy?" He whispered as he did the same to my pants? my fucking pants!

	"Chris? I? I don?t like this?" I said growing afraid.

	"Jeff, give it a chance." He said. Pardon me, but when that knife got that close to my dick I was going to flip. He cut my boxers away and started to suck on my dick hard and forcefully. He pulled his head up and walked into a small room coming out with a long, black leather whip.

	"Hmm?" he said as he cracked it a few times.

	"Please?" I cried insanely, "Chris no?" He chose not to hear me as I felt the painful strap crack across my chest as the tears were falling.

	"You?ve been bad my Jeffy." He said as he cracked it across my tender flash again. I closed my eyes tightly saying to myself that I could just wake up?. It was all a dream after all? Right? Right? WRONG!!! He took of his shirt and brought the whip high above his head and the next thing I felt was the most painful thing I had ever felt.

	"You like that?" He asked as I nodded no, the dumb fuck just though I was playing! What the hell?! He?s insane?! I saw him set the whip down- God I found out what he did with all his money! He reached up into the ceiling, which I noticed was higher then usual as he found a pair of handcuff things that ran across the basement on wire and brought them over towards me. He put those on me and then took my off the way. Great, not I was hanging a good 2 feet above the ground by my arms. He smiled wickedly as he picked up a paddle? nu uh? he wasn?t?

	"You ass it so pale and tight." He said running his fingers along it. THWACK! I screamed, really screamed. "Good? yell Jeffy." He said as he smacked my toosh again. I bellowed? he thought he was pleasing me?! What the fucking hell? I felt the handle end of the paddle travel down the crease in my ass? no way? I? I wasn?t even lubed up or anything? He shoved the wooden handle in my ass as I arched my back form the intense pain.

	"Hmm Jeffy, wait until I get my dick inside you." He said as he started to pound the wood in and out of my ass. I felt him jam it in as the whole world, thank God, turned dark.

Pt3

	I woke up to a pounding headache and a lot of pain. I had my eyes closed and I knew that if I opened them, he would be there.  But never the less, I opened them to see sun seeping through the windows. This place looked really familiar.

	"Well?" I thought to myself, "I?m one a few places. His room, someone else?s room or heaven." I thought as I reached my hand down to my backside and screeched at the pain that my touch returned.  I heard footsteps and I quickly closed my eyes to make it appear as if I had just fallen back asleep. I heard someone whistling faintly.

	"Don?t think you can fool me Jeffry." A voice said.

	"Jay!" I said as I shot up, regretting that when the pain shot up my back.

	"Shh now Jeff, lay back down." He said as I lowered myself. "Matt called me and said you were at Chris?, god are you stupid, so I went over there and saved your very white and bloody ass." He said as it brought more curiosity to my mind.

	"Like uh? what?" I asked.

	"Like up, you hanging from the ceiling with foreign objects shoved up your ass and you un conscience." He said as I looked away.

	"How?d you-"

	"Now now, shh. I happen to have a spare to Chris?s and got in okay, he saw me went into explaining I just said that you weren?t ready for such a? violent relationship and I told him about you and me ya know?"

	"You didn?t-"

	"Yes I told you had only had sex 3 times and you were bottom and that he couldn?t bring you up so quick, he?s not mad kid, don?t worry." Jay said as he walked over. "Matt?s gonna be over soon?" All the memories of what Jay and me used to have came back? this was his guestroom.

	"Matt couldn?t catch a flight until 7 tonight, but he?ll be right over."

	"Don?t you have to work tonight?" I asked as he nodded no.

	" It?s just a house show and Adam?s doing singles.  I?m not even going to bother going" He said as he walked over towards me and smiled.  "I almost resent us stopping what we? what we used to have." Jay said as I scrunched my forehead. God, why?d he have to bring this up again?!

	"Jay?"

	"I know, it?s in the past, sweet- Jeff. But? never mind. Just- do you want anything to eat?" He asked. Yea I knew exactly what I wanted to chew on- GOD JAY now look whatcha got me think?n!

	"Um? just whip something good up." I said biting my lip after I said.

	"Something good coming right up." He said with a small snicker as he left the room and left my thoughts and me.

	"Jeff," I thought, "You told yourself when you two broke it off, it was off. No "I?m Sorry?s", none of that! Yea? but maybe- SHUT UP! NO MAYBE?S. God will you listen to reason?" The inner saga of the after affect of high risk maneuvers soaked in as my internal struggles fought back and forth. A few minutes later, Jay came back upstairs, adorned with a tray and a few other items that I couldn?t quite make out.

	"Just sit still." He instructed me as he set the tray with food down on the large oak dressed across from the bed. I watched his smiling face as he picked up the first aid box and came over and set that on the nightstand beside me. "I?m gonna fix you up a bit, ok Jeff?" He asked as I nodded. "It?s gonna hurt, but I don?t want you to get an infection or anything ya know."

	"I know." I said as his warm hands on my sides as he pulled the blanket back exposing the cold air to my naked body. I blushed deeply as he grinned.

	"Not like it?s nothing I?ve never seen before." He replied as he got a small cream from the bag. He carefully flipped me on my stomach as his hands patted my butt.  I heard a squirting as his warm hands carefully spread a thin layer of goo down my crack as he rubbed it in gently. What the hell was he talking about, this didn?t hurt at all, I actually kinda liked it!

	"OUCH!" I screamed as he inserted a finger and evened it around.

	"Sorry Jeff, This is going to hurt a lot actually." He said as he carefully moved around with a burning feeling inside me. But he was gentle, just like he always had been. I found myself to even moan a bit as he pulled his fingers out.

	"You like that?" he said smiling as I prayed he wouldn?t turn me over. But he did and was greeted with my semi-hard cock. I saw his face blush a bit as well as he pulled the blanket back up like he never noticed a thing, but we both knew he had.

	"It?ll heal." He said, "But?ll sting like hell for the time, damn, I didn?t know you could shove those kinda things up you Jeffy!" I stuck me tongue out as he got the food. "Here?s some applesauce? extra cinnamon, homemade, just how-"

	"I like it." I finished, smiling as he remembered.

	"Yea?" He said down on the bed beside me as I sat up a little.

	"Jay, I?m perfectly capable of feeding myself." I said, "It?s my ass that hurts, not my arm." I reminded him a she got a spoonful.

	"Yea yea, I just thought you might prefer if I did it?" His voice said trailing off. I smiled? man, was I this irresistible?

	"No Jay, I can do it." I said taking the spoon and slowly feeding myself, knowing he was watching my every move as I slowly sucked the sauce off the spoon and twirled it around my tongue. When I was finished, I handed it back to Jay.

	"You know, I?m really tired, I think I?m gonna get some sleep." I said as he stood up.

	"Ok." He said as I closed my eyes.  Few minutes later he walked out as I reopened my eyes and leaned against the headboard. Damn?of all places I could end up?.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	"Jeffy?" I opened my eyes. I had drifted off somewhere in thought when I was interrupted by Jay?s soft voice. "Chris is on the phone, he wants to talk to you." I groaned as I took the phone out of his hands.

	"Yes?" I said tiredly.

	"Jeff I?m soooo sorry.  I thought you could handle it, really? How are you? God I?m stupid, I had no clue I shouldn?t have tried all that shit, I didn?t know you were QUITE THAT new, I swear Jeff, if you told me? I thought you were just play?n? can you forgive me? Please?" I sighed deeply making sure he was done.

	"Chris, it?s alright? I just don?t think I want that kind of relationship with you? Matt told me about it and it?s too rough for me, I need a gentle person." I explained.

	"I? I can be gentle." His voice said softly.

	"Chris, I don?t want to deprive you of what you want, now I?m sure you?ll find someone for you? it?s just? well, it?s not me.  I hope we can still hang out and stuff?" I said quietly.

	"Yea? friends." He said sadly, "Well, I?ll let you get back to sleep." He said," I just wanted to explain myself."

	"That?s fine Chris, goodbye." I said as I hung up. Jay came back in a second later.

	"Well?" He said grinning.

	"I told him that I didn?t want to be in a relationship like that." I said as he grinned internally.

	"Okay, that?s cool. It?s about 5pm? you want dinner?"

	"Nah, I?m not hungry." I said as he nodded sadly.

	"Alright, maybe later." He said as he left again. I ran my hands over my face and sighed deeply. I didn?t want back in a relationship? but every time Jay was around? I felt it. You know? "it" that feeling that that person is the one and you want to be with them every single hour of every single day and you don?t even need to say a word, just lay in that persons arms and everything would be okay. That "it" was driving me absolutely up the wall!  All this with a good 3 hours before Matt would be here.  I moved my hand down my chest and played around with my belly button ring; the same thing I do every time when I get nervous. I though quickly before getting up. Trying to remember my way around, I found a pair of shorts in a drawer and pulled them on alone with a large T-shirt from Canada Sports Center as I carefully walked down the stairs. I hope I?m doing everything right this time around.

Pt4	

Used "Let it Be" by The Beatles

	I slowly stepped down the long steps that spiraled, I swear, Jay had a mansion not a house! I observed the chandelier among all the things I loved about his place. The crystals glistened reminding me much of his shining eyes.  I heard a stereo lightly playing? the "sitting room" Yea, he had a sitting room! As I came closer, I almost choked, he was listening to the Beatles! Since when does Jay listen to The Beatles?!

When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be And in my hour of darkness She is standing right it front of me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be As he hummed the lyrics and I approached, I could see him flipping through a magazine.

And when the broken hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer Let it be For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer Let it be

Seeing this as a good opportunity, I slowly crept up on him, smiling as I leaned my face to his ears.

"Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be yeah, there will be an answer Let it be Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be." I sang softly in his ears with my voice as he slowly turned and set the magazine down.

"I thought you said that you-" I pressed my finger to his lips  and shh?ed him as the song played. Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be And when the night is cloudy There is still a light that shines on me Shine until tomorrow Let it be I wake up to the sound of music Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom Let it be

"Jay? I?ve been doing some thinking?." I said softly as he pulled my close, close enough that I could have melted into him, but far enough that I couldn?t either.

"Jeff, I don?t want you to feel like I pressured you into this?" He said as gently leaned forward.

"I do what I want, not because I am pressured." I said as I leaned forward and brought my lips to

his gently as I worked them before he gently pushed me away.

	"I?m serious? I don?t think this is a good time? you?re kinda on the rebound and I just wouldn?t feel right about it?"

	"HMPH!" I yelled as I did a 360, "I understand if you don?t want me Jay." I said in a huffy as I started up the stairs stomping on every step. I could hear him yelling for me to come back as he tried to catch up with me, but quickness got me to the room as I locked the door and plopped on my bed.

	"God? what does he want from me? He wants me, he doesn?t, he wants me, he doesn?t! What the hell? I finally want him and he doesn?t want ME anymore!" I thought to myself as I burrowed my head in the silken pillows trying to muffle out the sounds of his gentle knocking on the door before he gave up and left.

	"Jay, maybe we should just? let it be." I said softly out loud, even though I knew that that wasn?t what I wanted at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	A few hours later I laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling when I heard the doorbell. Matt was here. A listened closely as Jay answered the door.

	"Hey man, where?s Jeff?"

	"He?s up there? kinda upset?"

	"About Chris?" Matt asked.

	"No? me?"

	"You?!"

	"Long story." Jay said as I couldn?t make out the rest of the conversation and footsteps led upstairs to a quiet knock at my door.

	"Jeff, it?s me." Matt said as I got up and unlocked it, hurrying back to my bed. He shut the door behind him and sat on the bed beside me, slowly rubbing my now bare back with his hands.

	"Jeff, you knew that eventually this would happen?" he said, "But I think we should handle things first and work our way up. I?m your brother, I need to talk with you. Now? what did Chris do?" I felt a tear or two fall as his strokes continued. Matt?s hands always felt so warm. "Come on now, tell me."

	"Uma? well? Oh God Matt?" I said getting up as he pulled my close to his chest petting my rainbow mane. "He shackled me to the wall and whipped me and cut my clothes! And WITHOUT lube, started to shove stuff up my ass that was too big for it? it was hor-hor-horible."

	"There there Jeffy." Matt cooed as he wiped my eyes, "I know it hurt, but be strong. Now, what?s going on with Jay Jay here?" I made that gulping sound, I so did not want to discuss this with him, but his chocolate eyes comforted my hurt ones. "I know you guys still have feelings for each other, but Jeff, he?s just look?n out for you." He said as he carefully explained everything tome, while still stroking my back and talking softly.

	"Thanks Matt." I said when he was finished, "I know what you?re trying to say, but I don?t know quite what I want or what Jay wants? it?s just too hard ya know? I?m not sure what I want or what he wants or what to do?"

	"Jeff, relationships aren?t supposed to be easy, that?s the challenge of them ya know?" He gave me a small kiss on the cheek and laid me back in the bed, rubbing his hand on my chest and handing me a notebook. "I brought it from home."

	"Aren?t we going home tonight?" I asked as he grinned

"I didn?t want to have to take the flight back, so I thought we?d just stay the night here." He said as he pulled my hair back in his hands limply laying it scattered about on the pillow. "Why don?t you come down and get some dinner now? You must be starved Jeff! Jay says you have barely eaten anything all day."

"I?ll be down in just a minute." I said as Matt walked out, leaving the door open a crack as he jogged down the steps. I looked around the bedroom. The white wood furniture, flowery blankets, pale paint on the walls, yellow curtains, beige carpeting? the room reminded me of spring, kinda like Jay did. It?s hard to explain, but when you look at Jay, you see the flowers budding, kids running, brisk walks in the park, the sun rising, but not too hot? Very warm and caring, just like Jay had always been? I knew it, Jay knew it, even Matt knew it and this time I wasn?t going to let him get away, at least not without taking me with him.

I happily walked down the steps, in spite of my pained ass, I was in a happy mood now. I held the railing and felt the wood swishing out from under my hand as I bounced down the last 3 steps onto the hard wood floor in the front corridor. The Oriental rug felt soft on my bare soles as the darkness of the early evening was filtered out by the many lights that were lit around the house through intricate lighting. His kitchen has a huge glass window in front of the table where Jay and Matt sat and talked. Their conversation halted when I walked in though.

"Glad to see you decided to eat." Matt said showing off his dimples which urged me to return the smile with my own. Matt excused himself and gave me a small smack on the back, not mean more like ?good luck? as he went up stairs and said something about needing a shower. Jay offered me a seat as I saw the food that had been displayed on the table; Chinese of course. Jay?s cooking skills were kind of limited to applesauce and pop tarts.  I sat across from him and took a clean plate and piled some food on and got a fork, I still hadn?t mastered the chopsticks. I felt Jay?s toes gently brushing my legs as I giggled like a little girl and continued to eat.

"You know, I thought maybe we could watch a little TV after dinner." Jay said as I agreed. I reached for the small carton of chow mien as our hands touched each other. His foot moved and rested on my leg as we finished dinner in a soothing silence. The small noises of the eating utensils hitting the glass plates were enough clamors for now any ways.  When I couldn?t possibly eat anymore, I got up with my plate and Jay urged me to sit back down and insisted that he would do the dishes. I watched as he rinsed them off and turned to put them away, giving me a very nice view as he bent over to load up the dishwasher. I tried to make myself a little useful as I set the table back with the fruit basket and a few other papers that belonged on it. He dried his hands off, tossing the towel aside as he came to me and urged me up. We walked into the living room where the major electronics were. Jay sat on the couch, pulling me into his lap and flipped a few things on the several remotes that were lying around. The lights dimmed, TV turned on, as did the DVD player.

"Wanna watch the movie I rented a few days ago?" he asked, "its just American Beauty."

"I love that movie!" I said not wanting to say, "Well I?ve seen it a million times." But as long as I was here, in his arms, all was well in the land of me. I cuddled as close as I could as the movie played, his fingers gently doing the cute tapping thing on my arm when he gets nervous. I cradled my head against his chest and moved my arm so that it was holding his other shoulder for support. The movie played, no signs of intelligence from Matt, so movement from either of us and as many times as I watched this movie, I felt my attention drawing to a comforting world of sleeps. Jay and me? just like it used to be and just like it should be.   Pt5

(This chapter is NOT in Jeff?s POV)

Jay looked down in his arms and saw the angel resting with his eyes closed. It brought a small smile to his face as Jay gently let his lips touch his heavenly forehead making ever so lightly a sound, careful not to wake him. Reaching his arm that wasn?t around Jeff, he turned off the TV and considered what to do.

"Well? I could throw a blanket on him and me and just sleep here?" He thought, "Or put him in his bed, or with Matt? or in bed with me?" The last idea appealed to him the most, but he wanted to go slow this time, that?s what caused the break up before; moving too fast? for the both of them.  Jeff gently stirred a bit as Jay wiped a hair from his forehead. Jeff?s soft eyes glared open a little, but not fully.

"It?s now or never Jay." He thought.

"Jeffy, you want to go to bed?" He asked in a hush tone.

"As long as I?m with you." He said. His response almost brought a small smile to Jay?s face, but instead Jay just nodded and lifted Jeff up in his arms. He turned off most of the lights and started up the steps tiredly.  Jeff moved his head against Jay?s chest and wrapped his arms around Jay?s neck for some support as he approached the top of the spiral staircase. Jay slowly crept down the hallway, careful not to wake Matt. His door made a creak as Jeff viewed Jay?s room again. Like much of the rest of the house, it was quite elegant. Whitish walls with wooden flooring and lots of windows complete with a balcony. Jay had oak dressers that perfectly complimented the 4-post pillar bed. The pillars reached as high as the ceiling, also done in a perfectly furnished oak. Jay carefully pulled back the white, flowered comforter and sheets, setting Jeff in the cool, comfortable bed. Jeff wearily stripped his confined chest of shirt leaving him feeling quite free in his boxers. Jay watched his beauty as he also exposed his bare chest and shorts and crawled in, pulling the cover back with him.

Jeff flung to Jay immediately, hugging Jay?s chest tightly, snuggling his head against Jay?s heart so he could hear the soft putter pattering of his lost and re-found love. Jay dipped his head, once again catching Jeff?s forehead in a small peck, only this time, Jeff was awake to enjoy it.

"Jeff?" Jay asked not wanting to ruin the moment, but knew he had to say this.

"Yes." Jeff asked sweetly in a tone that only made Jay melt more into the grasp of the younger man.

"You know? if we get back together? I want it to? to last?" He said, "Because when we split the first time, it was too much for me, and I don?t want to go through that again? it was too much for me Jeff? too much to have you in my life and then? you?re not there. There?s a space for you in my heart and when you?re not here to fill it Jeff, it hurts. It physically hurts." Jay said as he stroked Jeff?s back feeling every bone that was in his spine.

"Jay? I know what you mean and trust me, I think? I think this time? we?re back together for good.  I thought Chris was perfect for me? you know? sweet ?lil angel, but he wasn?t quite so innocent, you?re the only one for me Jay." Jeff said, his voice music to Jay?s ears.

"Oh Jeff, and you?re the only for me too!" Jay dipped his head a little catching Jeff?s sweet lips in a settle kiss, a small smacking noise emitting from the aftermath of it.

"I lost you once Jay, and I?ll never loose you again." Jeff said as he snuggled back to his warm spot in Jay?s arms and dozed off into the most peaceful slumber of his young, lively life.

The End