How Our Brookey Stole Christmas by Lobogirl

Every gal down in Hughville, loved Hugh J. a lot,
But Brookey, who lived north of Hughville,
loved him A LOT!
Our Brookey loved Hugh J. beyond any other!
You might say she was obsessed, oh brother!
It could be Hugh's pants were on a little too tight!
It could be that Hugh's smile is a little too bright!
But I think the most likely reason of all,
May have to be he's the most Hughliscious of all!

But whatever the reason, his pants or his smile,
Brookey sat a stewing, her mind spun for a while.
Her mind and her heart filled with nothing but Hugh.
Staring at her pictures, giving each a long view.
She knew from the smiles on all the girls' faces,
That they too, were hanging piccies all over the places!
"And They're hanging their piccies," she snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas it's practically here!"

Then she growled with her sharp fingers nervously drumming,
"I must have Hugh for myself, trap him or something!"
For tomorrow she knew, all the Hugh girls and boys,
would wake bright and early, they'd rush for their toys.
And then! Oh the Noise! Oh the noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's the one thing she hated. The noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
Then the girls young and old, would sit down to a feast!
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
Feast! Feast! Feast!
They would feast on Hugh piccies!
They'd feast on rare Hugh MP3s!
Which was something poor Brookey couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN they'd do something she liked least of all!
Every girl down in Hughville, the tall and the small,
Would all sing together, their voices all ringing!
They'd sit mouse to mouse, and they all would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd sing!
Sing! Sing! Sing!
And the more poor Brooke thought of this Hugh Christmas sing,
The more Brookey thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why for fifty three days I've put up with this now!
I must stop this Christmas from coming, but How?"

Then Brooke got an idea! An awful idea!
Our Brookey got a wonderful awful idea!
She gathered together, a red hat and a coat,
She was proud of herself, but had no time to  gloat.
She hopped in her car, and the music she keyed,
While off to Toonce's house she did speed!
All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
Toonce and Nick were both dreaming sweet dreams without care.

Brooke stood at the door, with a menacing glare.
"This is stop number one." The Brookey  Claus hissed,
And she quietly jimmied the lock, the wire held in her fist.
She slid down the hallway, it was a cinch!
Then all of the Hugh stuffies, she began to pinch!
She grabbed the Hugh piccies! The little Wolvie doll.
She stuffed and stuffed, until she had it all!
Then she quietly slipped out the door with her bootey!
And headed for the next house, and gave her car horn a tootey!

She made it to Lobo's, a few hours later,
And made for the door with a grin like a  gator!
She outsmarted the dog with a big piece of bacon,
and tickled the cats backs, to keep them from noise makin'.
She tiptoed around, her eyes they did shine!
And soon all the Hugh stuff, made the bag whine!
She got to the door and gave it a shove,
When she heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
She turned around fast, and saw a small fuzzy!
Little guenea pig Inari, wanted a yummy!

Poor Brooke had been cought by this tiny wee rodent,
who started to squeak and squeal for a bit of carrot!
She stared at the squealer and said "Oh you hush!"
And went to the fridge for a carrot, in a rush!
Our Brookey was fast, she was smart and slick!
And was back in her car, back in it right quick!
Then she did the same thing to all the other Hughphiles' homes,
Leaving nothing behind, not even the smallest Hugh tomes!
She headed for home with her car stuffed to brimming,
With so much Hugh stuff, she couldn't stop grinning!

She put the car away in the garage, sealed up tight!
Then ran in the house, and sat before her  'puter bright!
She logged on to C's site, expecting to see,
All kinds of posts saying; "I've got no Hughie!"
She waited and watched, she watched for the notes,
While on the 'puter screen, no new words, no new posts!
She scratched her head in flummoxed confusion,
While outside of her home, for her, trouble's a brewin'.
Then with a crash and a whump and a bang,
Into her home came the whole Hughphiles gang!

Brooke knew she was caught! She knew she was screwed!
Then the girls gathered round her and did something rude!
(Cue sounds of pummeling and cussing and yells),
Then the Hughphiles looked at Lobo, who followed the smells.
They recovered all the Hugh stuff, and equally divided,
And left poor little Brookey, all gagged up and tieded!
Brooke's hubby and brood, came in bleary eyed,
And laughed at poor Brookey, they laughed 'till they cried!
They undid the knots and took off the gag,
Then from out of the closet, they brought a huge bag!

Brookey was sorry, she was down right contrite,
She opened the bag, it made everything right!
There, standing tall, right before her startled, happy eyes,
Was her Hughie, made of cardboard, every detail life-sized!
Brookey spent that whole Christmas, a little guilt feeling,
And with her Hugh cut-out, she danced on the ceiling!
It wasn't really Hugh, but she smiled without fear,
She smiled, knowing, without doubt,
Hugh would be hers' This time Next Year!

Written by Lobogirl(Dana Guy) with apologies to Dr. Suess

Ode to Hugh Jackman-Brooke Demartini
It was time for a new experience at the movies, we had heard.
All the boys said that the X-Men, as movies go, was the last word.
I just laughed and scoffed at those sons of mine, nodding noncommittally
at their urge to see a movie about a guy named Wolverine.
Well, I let them go, then they returned with eyes blazing oh so bright.
"You gotta see this movie, mom, "they said all through the night.
The oldest said there was a scene that was the funniest in any movie.
"You'll have to wait to see it yourself," he told me "It was really groovy."
I nodded yes and asked him what the story was about
since I had never heard of X-Men since they started all this spout.
The days went by and never once did I keep my promise true.
I'd say, "We'll go see it tonight again, just me, your dad, and you."
But then our trip to Tucson came and there was never a chance to go.
We had to postpone the night at the movies, postpone the trip to the show.
Finally after a couple more weeks, when the boys had cooled their jets
and figured I'd not keep my word, so typical of me yet,
I had a day off and gathered the kids, all the seatbelts fastened tightly.
I had no clue that after this day I'd be returning to watch it nightly.
The particular scene that my son had mentioned that he said was the funniest thing
was when Logan refused to buckle up and then flew through the windscreen.
He slid what seemed to be about a hundred yards, coming slowly to a stop in the snow.
I was giggling and laughing, feeling guilty no less.  That would be lethal to undergo.
But this amazing guy suddenly staggered to his feet, spitting out blood and cracking his neck
And the gashes on his handsome head started healing and I thought, "What the heck?"
It was then that I realized that this man in this film, this Logan, this Wolverine
was definitely a rising star, a guy named Hugh from across the sea.
I did my research the following day, discovering all the other moms of like mind
and how we were suddenly enthralled by this man and would there be more of him to find?
He sings, he dances, he's tall and he's cute, he juggles oranges and apples
He yo-yos like there's no tomorrow, while at the same time with Sabretooth grapples.
He was Curly in Oklahoma! and then he was a Paperback Hero too.
He made all the women in the world fall in love, this wonderful Aussie named Hugh.
It all started at a movie, in the dark while a story attracted one more X-fan
Now I am hooked on this tale and the guy whose name is simply Hugh Jackman.
He's aged one more year from the last time he looked, and he looks very nice and trim.
Now he is 32 and he's making it big and us girls want to tell him we love him!

*Toonces clears her throat..."mimimimi- hack!"*
   (Sing to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy)
   He was a lanky theatre man from out Sydney way,
   He had a singing style that his fans would say
   Really made them daft,
   But now he plays Wolverine-he's perfectin' his craft!
   He's Wolverine now- used to be Curly...
   He's Hugh Jackman and he's the world's new favorite Aussie!

   He really made a splash when he portrayed an X-man,
   And now the world loves him- he's such a gorgeous man!
   We've all become obsessed fans-
   But our families and friends
   Just can't seem to understand!
   He's Wolverine now, used to be Curly...
   He's Hugh Jackman and he's the world's new favorite Aussie!

   A-root-toot-toodley-a-toot
   He's really gonna go far,
   We all love him!
   He can't go wrong, he'll become a big star -
   Look out Mel Gibson!
   He's Wolverine now, used to be Curly,
   He's Hugh Jackman and he's the world's new favorite Aussie!

  And here's another one of my little gems...

   *Sing to "Poor Jud is Daid."
   Oh my poor head,
   What nonsense we have said,
   Admirin' Hugh Jackman the way we do...the way we do!
   He makes me and Stormie think
   Unholy thoughts-we're over the brink!
   Despite our dear husbands we dream of Hugh...dream of Hugh!

   What can be said?
   We want Hugh in bed! *
   We love him as Curly and Wolverine (Wolverine!)
   We have no outlet so
   We've gotta let it go
   Here on Tooncie's site- Let's try to keep it clean...(but not too clean!)

*No offense meant here- I love my hubby to pieces. I needed a rhyme, darnit!

H...is for the HAPPINESS you give to us
U...is for the UNBELIEVABLE way you look at us
G...is for the GREAT way you sing to us
H...is for the HORNINESS you bring out in us

J...is for the JOLLY twinkle in your eyes (Jack, "Paperback Hero")
A...is for the ARMS made of steel (Wolverine, "X-Men")
C...is for the CURLINESS in your hair (Curly, "Oklahoma!")
K...is for the KINDNESS in your heart (adopting baby Oscar)
M...is for the MARRIAGE you hold so dear (to Deb-Lee)
A...is for the ACTOR that you've successfully become
N...is for the NEXT big picture that your fans can see you in

For all these reasons, we love and respect you.  Thanks, Hugh!
~Merrie

Here are some songs that Stormy, Lorelei, and I (and several others) have worked on- we really crack ourselves up with these things!

The Sideburns that are Furry (sung to the tune of The Surrey with the Fringe on Top)

When I take my PC out with me
Hughey, here's the way it's gonna be
You are hot and I'm yer biggest fan forever
Yer the slickest dude I ever seen

Chicks and dudes and freaks better scurry
When Hugh wears side burns that are furry...
When Hugh wears side burns that are furry
with no shirt on top

See that guy and watch my heart flutter
When he snikts my knees turn to butter
Nosey folks'll watch me just stutter
He's got no shirt on top...

His eyes are hazel, his hair is brown
His biceps are genuine heaven
With adamantium claws he can stick right out
In case he's attacked by a brethren

See Hugh there - there's no denyin',
With his chest bare he's electrifyin',
Can't stop droolin', moaning and sighin'-
He's got no shirt on top!

Don't you wish he'd kiss you forever
Don't you wish he'd kiss you forever
Don't you wish he'd kiss you forever
And 'ould never stop
When he wears those furry side burns
and no shirt up on top

I can see my Hughey's a-freakin'
Maybe got a lawyer a-sneakin'
Whoah, my God, I'm headed fer prison
at a slow clip clop
I won't scurry 'cos he's furry
and he's got no shirt up on top

Us Women and Hugh Jackman Should Be Friends (Sung to the tune of The Cowman and Farmer Should Be Friends)

Oh, us women and Hugh Jackman should be friends
Oh, us women and Hugh Jackman should be friends
Women like to drool all day
Hugh Jackman says, "Hey, keep away!"
Ain't no reason why we cain't be friends

Wolverine's Wives should stick together
Wolverine's Wives should all be pals
Wolverine fights with the evil mutant
Then he runs from us screamin' gals

I'd like to say a word for the women
It's true we have our own men and children
It's true we have a house and car and bills we have to pay
But that don't mean we cain't be happy dreamin'!

Wolverine's Wives should stick together
Wolverine's Wives should all be pals
Wolverine fights with the evil mutant
Then he runs from us screamin' gals

I'm Jist a Girl in Love with Hugh (Sung to the tune of I'm Jist a Girl Who Cain't Say No)

It ain't so much a question of not knowin about Hugh I know'd him right away since the X-Men
I hear'd a lot of stories and I reckon they are true
about how girls are droolin' over him
I know he's a lot cuter than Brad Pitt
and when I'm on the web page I just sit

I'm jist a girl in love with Hugh
Go to the page around six
My husband says come on let's go
But I got to get my Hugh fix....

When a person tries to flash a girl
I know'd she ourghta give his face a whack
But as soon as Hughie looks at me
I somehow wanna try to flash him back.

I'm just a fool when Hugh's on screen
I cain't be sleepy and bored
I ain't the type that can hoard
How can't I share what I record
I'm in love with Hugh!

Whatchya gonna do when a feller's so purdy
and makes me think dirty
Whatchya gonna do?
S'posin' that he reads that our posts are on daily
(for some more than daily)
Whatchya gonna do?
S'posin' that he reads that his voice is like buttah
and we gotta have butter or die
Whatchya gonna do when he looks that way?
Lay down and die?

I'm jist a girl in love with Hugh
Cain't seem to shake it at all
I cain't resist an X-men trip
When Hugh's the one with the claws

Fer a while I ack reserved and cool
A sittin' on my velvet theatre chair
'Nen I think of that nice barroom cage scene
And scream IO and pull and tear my hair!

I'm just a fool when Hugh's on queue
I sigh and sometimes I faint
Neighbors have lodged a complaint
How can I hold back restraint
I'm in love with Hugh!

People Will Say You are Nuts (Sung to the tune of People Will Say We?re in Love)

Don't bat your eyes at me
Don't show your teeth too much
Don't stare at my chest too much
People will say you are nuts

Don't call my house so much
Your calls are so in vain
Your calls make you look insane
People will say you are nuts

Don't start terrorizing me
Scream when you see me on the bus
Sweetheart, you are scaring me
Peeeeeeeople will saaaay you are nuts!

Poor Brooke is Bad (Sung to the tune of Poor Jud is Daid)

Poor Brooke is bad
Poor Brookey is bad
She's sittin' in her office all serene...so serene
She looks like she's at work
It's a shame she's such a jerk
But it's getting late and her boss is gonna tell the dean...tell the dean

    I included this ditty in the bunch because Brookey spends so much time working on them for us- although a bunch of us contributed to them, she did the bulk of the work.  Either that says something about her dedication to her pals, or her madness for Hugh- you decide.  -Ed.

Here's a ditty by Lobogirl:

(Sing to "Strolling Through the Park One Day")
While thumbing through a mag one day,
I saw a picture of a man and said "Hey!"
"Why I can't believe my eyes--
that's Wolverine -- no lies!"
And I went and watched the flic five times!

Well, five times simply wasn't enough!
I started buying posters and stuff.
I went surfing on the net,
and downloaded all I could get!
And met some other "Wolvie Wives."

Well some of you may not get it!
By the Wolvie bug we got bit!
Now we're spending all our hours,
dreaming about his "healing" powers,
And about his smile and looks that just won't quit!

Here's a song by Tania Cardenas, a fellow Hughphile from Mexico!
I am Crazy

HUGH!!!tintintintin

Wolvie... I think I'm in love,
you got my heat in your claws,
tell my what can I do,
I got to know all about you.

Every time I look at your pictures,
is like a dream coming true
I think I'm a drug addict
but you're my drug, what can I do?

I'm crazy and addicted to you,
when I saw X-men I fell in love,
OOO Hugh I love that word
because is the meanig of your
holy name.

Baby I love you,
I can wait, O my love,
I want to see your new movies,
Animal Husbandry, Swordfish
and I can not forget X-men 2

I'm crazy and addicted to you,,
whenI saw x-men I fell in love,
OOO Hugh I love that word
because is the meaning of your
holy name.

O Hugh I'm in love, I have never
felt somethinng like this for another
actor.

Hey Hugh, I will be waiting for the
MTV Movie awards and the Academy awards
for you...

Ed. Note: While I made some spelling corrections here, as Tania requested, I made no major changes to the meaning of the song itself.   >^..^<

Can't Get Enough of Hugh-StingBaby1012

Oh, I just can't get enough of Hugh
Whether it be in Oklahoma!, X-Men or Someone Like You
He is so very incredibly handsome
He should have been the leading Aussie in "Ransom"
Wait a minute, handsome is an understatement for this man
He is extremely hot and I am a forever fan
Not only does he have good looks but he has accomplished a lot too
Oh, I just can't get enough of Hugh
Whether he is acting, dancing, or singing Cryin'
All this Hugh stuff I can't stop buying
Action figures, movies and occasionally a magazine
He is one of the sexiest, most talented actors I've ever seen
He has a charming personality, awesome hair, gorgeous eyes and a beautifully
chiseled face
He was absolutely phenomenal in all of his roles from Gaston to Stanley and
most of all Wace
But that was just to name a few
Oh, I just can't get enough of Hugh