As soon as his feet hit the front porch I screamed.
"Help me! Someone help m--!"
"Shut up!" He clamped his hand over my mouth, pulling the back of my head tight against his shoulder. I struggled, trying to fight him, but he carried me as if I weighed no more than a cloth doll stuffed with cotton. Oh God, why hadn't I ever done what I said I'd do? Why hadn't I taken karate or self-defense classes? Why did I have to be so little? Why couldn't I be stronger? Why couldn't I be...someone else?
His car was parked in the driveway, the trunk already open, waiting for me like the foul and dripping jaws of some fairy tale monster. He threw me inside onto my back, and when his hands left me I opened my mouth again.
"Somebody help me! Help! Someone--!"
"I said shutup, you little bitch!" He grabbed me by the upper arms and shook me so hard that my teeth rattled. "What did I tell you about fighting me?"
A surge of reckless burst through me and I filled my lungs with air, prepared to shriek loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood.
"Don't even think about it."
For a split second I saw the handle of the knife sailing towards my head, and then it slammed against my right temple with a solid, crunching thud. Dazed and sick, I could no longer control my body or my thoughts. My bones seemed suddenly made of water, and all of the will drained away from me as he leaned his face closed to mine.
"Not a word," he whispered. "How many times do I have to tell you that? My God you're a stubborn little girl, Lizzie. But you always have been, haven't you?" He pulled a piece of my clothing from inside his shirt and dabbed at my head, but I had no energy to react to the blood I saw there when he lifted it away. I saw him smile, and then I succumbed to the darkness lapping like waves at the edges of my soul.
I woke up trying to scream, trying to flail against the black terror consuming me, but something had me locked into a fetal position, unable to move, and something was shoved into my throat, nearly choking me. No dream. Real. It was still real. For a panicked moment I disregarded the throbbing of my skull and thrashed blindly, my breath wheezing through my nose, unable to get enough air into my constricted lungs. Lucky Lucky save me save me Lucky where are you Lucky!!!!!! A lightning bolt of agony shot through my head and I subsided, fighting the nausea washing over me.
Stop, Liz, stop stop stop. I fell still and weak against the carpet of the trunk. I needed to stop shaking, I needed to breathe, I needed to gather my scattered thoughts. He has me in the trunk. There are ropes tying my wrists to my ankles. He's gagged me. He's driving. He's taking me somewhere. My head...oh God, my head hurts so bad. I want to be sick....I need to be sick but I can't, I can't because even if this thing wasn't in my mouth, if I throw up in here I'll be even more miserable. More miserable? I'm afraid to think of that. I'm afraid. Lucky, I'm afraid. What is he going to do to me? He's going to hurt me Lucky, he's really going to hurt me. Why aren't you here? Why can't you be here to save me? Whatever he's going to do will be a thousand times worse than what he's already done. I'm not going to make it this time, Lucky. I can feel it. I'll never see you again. I'll never touch you again. I'll never kiss you again. We'll never get married and we'll never make love and we'll never have beautiful babies. Our babies would have been so beautiful, wouldn't they Lucky? I'm sorry Lucky, I'm so sorry. I tried to fight him this time but I'm still not strong enough. I don't know why I thought things would have changed. I tried, I really tried, but it still wasn't good enough. But whatever he does to me...whatever he does...I'll never stop loving you. Never. I love you more than anything, anything in the world, Lucky. I love you.