Ned Ashton and Alexis Davis were married on June 5^th and are expecting their first child, a girl to be named Marissa Nicole in May. Thanks to Alexis, Ned now has joint custody of his daughter Brooke Lynn. Jax and Brenda Berret have been married for 2 years this November and have a beautiful baby named Jessica Marie Jax. V never left and is a very good friend to both Ned and Alexis. She is engaged to a very nice man named David (who is not mentioned in this fan fic). Lucky never "died" and is still seeing Liz.

Chapter 1 - The Greatest Loss

It’s Saturday morning on December the 7^th. Alexis is at the gate-house making the bed. She walks to the window wearing Ned’s pajama top and little else. As she stands watching the snowfall she lets her mind drift to the day that her little girl will be born. She imagines everything so perfectly. How Ned will panic and what she will say. She tries to see herself holding Marissa for the first time, what she will look like and how she will smell.

RING…..RING

Her daydream is interrupted by the sound of the telephone. She walks over to the night-stand, hand still on her stomach caressing her unborn baby, and answers the phone.

"Hello"

"Hi hunny. I’m still here."

"I figured that," Alexis says laughing, "When are you coming home?"

"Soon. I hope." He replies not very enthusiastically. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Great!" She answers sarcastically. "Other than the headache, the mood swing, the nausea and dizziness, the –"

"Okay I get it." He interrupts her rambling. "That great huh?"

"Yep."

"Ned! Ned! We need you in here now!" Yells a voice from the other room.

Ned sighs. "I’ve gotta go. The old one that they call Edward has bellowed."

"You better go plug him up, laughs Alexis, a gatekeepers work is never done. Hurry home. I’m waiting upstairs."

"I’m already there." Ned says.

"Ned!!! NOW!!!" The old man bellows again.

"Gotta go. I love you Alexis."

"Love you to. Bye."

Ned reluctantly leaves his office to find out what the big emergency is all about. Alexis hangs up the phone and continues to make their bed when the familiar feeling of nausea over comes her and she bolts for the bathroom. After the sickness passes she rises from her fetal position over the toilet and grabs her stomach. She almost falls over again because of the extreme pain that is burning in her abdomen and shooting through the rest of her body. She screams in agony but no one hears. No one is there. Grabbing the edge of the sink for support she desperately tries to get to the phone, which now seems like an eternity away. She gets only as far as the bathroom door when the pain overcomes her and she collapses to the floor hitting her head on the edge of the sink and cutting it badly on the way down.

An hour passes before Ned returns home from ELQ. As he walks into the door he calls out Alexis’s name. When she doesn’t answer he remembers their phone conversation. ‘ I’ll be waiting upstairs ‘ he remembers, ‘ hurry home ‘.

"Alexis? Alexis, Where are you? He calls teasingly removing his jacket, tie and untucking his shirt on the way upstairs. Alexis. Your darling husband has returned from a hard night’s work and need a little lovin’. Alexis. Alex-"

He sees her body lying in a pool of blood on the floor of the bathroom. Silent. Motionless. He runs to her side and cradles her in his arms calling her name but there is no answer, no reaction at all, not even the warmth of her breath. Laying her back down frantically but as gently as possible he runs to the phone tripping over himself on the way. He dials the number to the main house praying that Monica is there. When he hears her voice on the other end of the line he can’t speak. Can’t bring himself to say the words but somehow they come out.

"Hello." Monica repeats.

"Monica. Monica you have to help her." He cries into the receiver.

"Who is this?" she question. "Who do I have to help?"

"It’s Ned." He replies slightly annoyed with her. "Alexis is…. I don’t know…She’s bleeding and I can’t wake her up…. I need your help…. Monica please," he begins to beg like a little child wanting a toy.

"Ned calm down." Monica yells trying to get him to focus. "I’m on my way. Stay with her. I’m on my way."

Monica slams down the receiver, grabs her bag and runs out the door towards the gatehouse. Ned returns to Alexis’s side and begins stroking her hair.

"What happened?" he asks helplessly. "What did you do? I should have been here. I shouldn’t have left you alone. I-"

"Ned! Ned, Where are you!" Her voice echoes through the empty house.

"Upstairs." He calls back. "Were in the bedroom."

Monica races up the stairs and finds Ned holding the limp bloody body of a woman who always seemed so worldly and whom she often resented. "Oh God." Was all she could say as she knelt down next to them and called for and ambulance.

Chapter 2 - Falling to Pieces

Elizabeth Webber has just finished her last HIV test at General Hospital and is being escorted out of the hospital through the main entrance near the emergency room by her good friend Nickolas Cassadine.

"So... Lucky and I will meat you and Em outside Kelly’s around six o’clock then?" Liz asks Nikolas as they begin to walk out.

"Sounds good to me," Nickolas says. "What movie are we going to see anyway?"

"I don’t know yet. We’ll decide when we-"

"Move! Coming through! Amy clear trauma one. We’ve got a woman in her mid thirties, eleven weeks pregnant, with internal hemraging and severe head trauma." Dr. Quatermaine yells as she and Ned run after the gerny rushing past Nickolas and Liz.

"Is that your Aunt?" Liz asks Nikolas as they watch the doctors and nurses running into trama one.

"Yeah" he yells back, already a good ten feet away from her and continuing to run toward all of the chaos.

"Ned. Ned, listen to me. Were doing everything we can. You have to wait out here" Monica pleads with him while restraining him the best she can. "I know you want to be with her but the best thing you can do for her right know is to let the doctors do their job."

Ned reluctantly allows himself to be escorted to a waiting are while Monica rushes back in to the room at the sound of alarms. ‘Oh God Alexis, please, please don’t leave me.’ he says over and over in his mind oblivious to anything around him. He doesn’t even see Nikolas standing infront of him until his hand hits his shoulder.

"Ned what happened to her?" Nikolas demands. "Whats going on in there? No one will talk to me." His voice begins to crack as tears fill his eyes. Ned gestures for him to sit down not knowing at first what to tell him, but knowing that he must say something. Alexis loved Nikolas more than he knew, loved him like a son. When Ned saw the fear in the young man’s eyes he knew that no matter what they had gone through with the family, Nikolas had loved her just as much.

"When I came home she was passed out on the bathroom floor." he finally said. "I couldn’t wake her up. I didn’t-"

Monica who came running out of Alexis’s room interrupted his words. "Ned, were loosing her fast. We have to take the baby there is no other way to save her life." she regretfully but insistently informed him. Both Ned and Nikolas looked at her in shock. "I’m sorry Ned. We’ll loose them both if we don’t. At least this way she has a chance." her voice was full of compassion and regret.

"A chance!" Nikolas interrupted. "You’re taking her baby and all that you can say is that she has a chance!"

"Were doing everything we can." Monica assured him, but it wasn’t very reassuring. She took the papers from Ned’s hands and quickly ran back to trauma room.

"I just killed my baby" Ned says barley above a whisper, "I just killed my little girl." He looked over at Nikolas who was staring at nothing. "She’ll be all right" he said more to himself than to anyone else, "She’s gotta be all right." At that moment Ned forgot about the secret guy code. Crying was something that he never let anyone but Lois or Alexis’s see, but know he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. He let the tears fall freely from his eyes, praying silently for the woman and the baby that he loved more than life.

Forty minutes pass, which seem like an eternity. Nikolas has gone home to inform his Father about Alexis’s current condition. He knows that Stephan probably won’t care if his sister and niece live or die, but Nikolas does. He will tell Stephan. Whether he cares or not it will do Nikolas good to talk to someone. Ned wasn’t much comfort, but he didn’t expect him to be. Nikolas knew that Ned was hurting more than he could ever imagine.

"Mr. Ashton?" Ned looks up into the man’s eyes. "I’m Dr. Ramsey. I performed your wife’s surgery."

"How is she?" Ned abruptley asks.

"She’s holding her own" he replies smiling. "It was touch and go for a while during the surgery, but once we stopped the bleeding she began to stabalize."

"Can I see her?" he asks desperatly.

"Yes. For a little while." Ned’s face lights up. "She’s in ICU and her condition is still critical."

"IS she awake?" Ned asks not knowing how to tell what he has done to save her.

"Not yet, but she should be waking very shortly. She’ll want you to be there Mr. Ashton." Ned knods and follows the doctor to Alexis’s room.

She lays there in her hospital bed silent, and as still as death. He pulls a chair up next to her bed, takes her hand. "she’s gone Alexis. Our little girl is gone. I was scared. I didn’t know…" he tries to speak between sobs. He tries to tell her what he did before she wakes knowing he won’t be able to say it to her face. "I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry." He leans forward kissing her cheek and wiping away his tears that have fallen on to her face.

"Ned" she says in a pained whisper. "Ned?", her eyes are open but she hasn’t yet focused on his face.

"I’m here. I’m right here." He places his hand under her chin and tilts her face toward him, softly kissing her lips. "It’s okay Alexis. It’s okay." He tries to comfort her but she can sense the sorrow and fear in his voice.

"It’s the baby isn’t it"; she says while he kisses her hand. Ned can’t say a word. He just looks away from her and nods his head. "I lost the baby! I lost Marissa!", Alexis tries to get up going somewhere that she doesn’t know.

"Calm down. Shhhh. You have to calm down." Ned fights with her using almost all of his strength to keep her in bed as she tries to push away from him.

"Calm down! How can I calm down?! My little girl is dead!" Alexis gives in to her tears and falls forward into Ned’s awaiting arms, sobbing. "It should have been me. She didn’t do anything. Why did she have to die."

Ned does all he can to comfort her, which he knows can’t be done. There is nothing else that either of them can say. Ned lays Alexis back down in her bed. She grabs his hand just as he starts for the chair. "Hold me" she whispers, her eyes still full of tears. Ned lays down next to her and takes her in his arms. They stay like that for the rest of the night, holding each other and crying.
 
 

Chapter 3

It has been three weeks since Alexis was admitted to the hospital. Three weeks since her and Ned had lost their baby. The time passed by slowly. Ned remained with her most of the time despite Edward’s insistence that he return to ELQ. She hadn’t had many visitors. V. and Brenda had stopped by a couple of times but never stayed long. Besides Ned, Bobbie was the only person she really wanted to see. Even though they hadn’t been great friends after Bobbie had divorced from Stephan, it was comforting to know that someone else had felt the pain of loosing a child and knew how she was feeling.

"Good morning, Audrey" Ned said with a smile as he walked up to the nurses station.

"Why hello Ned. How are you today?"

"Just fine, and yourself?"

"Oh, I’m still kicking" she laughs. "How’s Alexis doing today?"

"As well as can be expected. She’s going home today. That’s why I’m here. I need her release papers." He smiles at her flashing his dimples and not even trying to hide the joy that he is feeling inside to have his wife home again.

"That’s wonderful! I’m positive she will feel better when she gets home and back into a routine. I’ll go get those papers for you." She smiles again and turns to go.

"Thank you, Audrey" Ned says with a smile.

"I’ll be right back dear. And you’re very welcome."

Unknown to Ned Alexis, who has been dressed and ready to go home for quite some time now, has begun to walk around the hospital. With no destination in mind she wanders aimlessly up and down hallways and in and out of corridors. When she passes the nursery she stops dead in her tracks staring down at a perfect little baby girl. Walking over to the window she places a finger on the glass in front of the small child.

"Hello little baby" she says in a childish voice. "Hello Marissa. Your Daddy is going to take us home today. Yes he is and we’re going to see your new room. You’ll have to share it with Brooke Lynn for a while but Daddy says were going to get a bigger house and you can have a room of your very own". Bobbie walks over to the baby and smiles at Alexis not realize what is going through her mind. Bobbie picks up the little girl and hands her to her parents. She turns and sees the look of panic on Alexis’s face and runs out of the nursery reaching her just as she begins screaming.

"No! My baby. They’re taking my baby! Bobbie give her back! Give Marissa back." Alexis is sobbing so hard that her screams are almost incoherent.

"Alexis, it’s okay. Calm down honey, calm down. Shhhh. Someone call a doctor now!" she screams to the people who are sitting around staring at the scene on the floor. "Now!" Bobbie repeats and a couple people run of to the phones at the desk.

Bobbie is still holding Alexis on the ground. She has stopped screaming but tears still flow from her red eyes. Trying her best to comfort the trembling women in her arms Bobbie thinks back to when B.J. died and knows that for Alexis the worst has yet to come.

****************************************************************

Ned enters the psychiatric ward and rushes towards the desk running into Bobbie on his way. "Ned, I’m so sorry. I should have known something was wrong when I first saw there. I should have gotten her away from the window. I didn’t think she’s-"

"It’s not your fault, Bobbie. You didn’t know. How is she? Can I see her?"

Ned cautiously opens the door to Alexis’s room. Bobbie had told him just moments early that they had to sedate her and that she was pretty out of it. He had expected and prepared himself to see her lying in the bed as he had when she came out of surgery. He walked over to her bedside and smoothed her hair with his hand.

"Hello" Alexis said so loudly that Ned jumped. "Where have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is young man!?" she snapped then burst into laughter.

Ned looked at her sympathetically but couldn’t help smiling as he pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Alexis" he whispered into her hair.

"And I loooove you to" she yelled happily before pulling him close and kissing him passionately on the mouth. Ned pulled away after a minute and stared into her eyes. She continued to giggle in his arms and played with his hair.

"Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were here Ned."

"It’s okay Tony…Dr. Jones"

"Tony is fine. How is she?"

"Very happy" Ned said sarcastically. They both look down at Alexis who has begun to sing: Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, Calling Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones wake up now.

The two men look back at each other and smile. "She’ll come out of it soon and when she does its going to be hard for her to accept the fact that the baby is gone."

"I realize that now. I just wish she didn’t have to go through this. I thought she was fine. She hadn’t said anything about the baby in a few days. I should have known something was wrong." Ned’s voice fades away as Alexis continues to sing from her bed.

Please, please cure me. Please, please cure me. Please, please cure me. Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones wake up now.

"It’s not your fault, Ned. No one could have known how she would react. She’s in denial. Bobbie was the same with B.J…." the sorrow of the memory is evident in his voice. "She needs to rest", he says quickly, "You can come back later."

Ned walks over to Alexis who has finished her mini concert and kisses her cheek. "I’ll be back sweetheart. Try to get some sleep."

"Yes, Sir" Alexis says saluting him and giggling again. Ned smiles at her and follows Tony out of her room

**************************************************************

Four days pass and Alexis has improved. It is the night before she is going to be released and Ned sits next to her bed holding her hand and watching her sleep. He thinks about all that she has been through in the past few weeks and wishes that he could make all her pain go away. Alexis begins to moan in her sleep and Ned strokes her hair.

"MARISSA!!!" her scream breaks the silence and she jumps up in bed.

Ned instantly grabs her and holds her close. Her hospital gown is sticking to her skin and her hair is damp at her neck. "It’s okay, Alexis. Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay I’m here. I’m here." He wipes the tears from her cheeks and she looks up at him. He can see the fear in her eyes and it only makes him hold her tighter. She lays her head on his chest and falls back to sleep. She was fine for the rest of the night but Ned never let her go. Even if he had wanted to he knew that he couldn’t.

*Angel Standing By, Jewel; Pieces of You
 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 4
 
 

Ned lay awake in his bed staring at Alexis who was still sound asleep next to him. She had been doing better, he thought, after she was home. She rested more peacefully at night. Everyone had done their best to keep her busy. She had been shopping with Brenda and V. more in the last week than she had all last year. Even Emily and Liz had come over to talk to her or show her things. She was grateful for the distraction but wanted some time to herself and she wasn’t getting it.

"Are you going to lay there and look at me all morning?"

Ned looked at her and smiled unaware of how long she had been awake. "Hello gorgeous. Did you sleep well?"

"Ned, I know what I look like in the morning and it is nothing close to gorgeous." She smiled at him and let him pull her closer. He kissed the top of her head and she turned her face towards his. "What time is Brook Lynn coming?"

"Oh my God that’s today! I can’t believe I forgot." He looked at the clock. It was already 12:30. "She’ll be here any minute. I haven’t even straightened her room up yet and she wanted to show Lois." He gets out of bed and starts out of the room.

"Ned. Ned calm down." Alexis gets out of bed and puts on her robe while following him down the hall. "Go downstairs and wait for them. I’ll straighten up in here." She looks in his eyes and help but laugh.

"Are you sure? I mean… I don’t want you to –"

"I’m okay I promise. You don’t have to tiptoe around me Ned. Brook is my step-daughter." Ned looks at her with sympathy but she can see the relief in his eyes. "Go! Their going to think were not up yet."

"Were not" he looks at Alexis in her robe and at himself in boxers.

"You might want to put some clothes on. I don’t want to have to fight Lois for you." Ned kisses her lips quickly before disappearing down the hallway.
 
 

Alexis walks over to Brook Lynn’s bed and begins to pick up the dolls and toys that were left there from her last visit. On the bottom of the pile she sees the small baby doll that her and Ned had used to show her how to hold her new baby sister or brother. Brook Lynn was so excited about being a big sister.
 
 

She sits down on the small bed rocking the doll inn her arms. She scoots back on the bed and hears a quite ‘Mamma, Mamma’. She looks down at the doll in horror before standing up and throwing it against the wall as hard as she could.

"Mamma", the doll announces again as Alexis runs over stomping on it. She clears the dresser in one swipe. Moving to the windows she pulls the curtains down and rips the blankets from the bed. All the little fairy tale books that she used to read to Brook Lynn were scattered around the room. Not even the picture of the three of them that hung on the wall escaped her fury.

"Mommy, hurry I want you to see my room."

"Okay honey I’m coming slow down." Lois was dragged up the stairs of the gatehouse by her five-year-old daughter. "God, Ned what do you have in there?" Ned shrugged his shoulders and smiled while he watched his daughter race down the hall ahead of them. Lois laughed as Brook Lynn ran in to her room and came out seconds later crying.

"Daddy, why is my room messy? Why is Alexis crying?"

"What! Ned, what’s going on?" Lois looked at Ned questioningly as he brushed passed her into Brook Lynn’s room. Alexis was lying in the middle of the floor surrounded by what used to be a little girl’s room. "Oh my God! What’s going on here!" Lois walked into the room as Ned picked Alexis up off of the floor.

"She lost the baby, Lois." Ned spoke so quietly that he could barely hear himself.

"Brook, I don’t think this is a good time for you to stay with Daddy. Let’s go home honey."

"Lois, wait." Ned pleaded with his words and his eyes.

"It’s not a good time, Ned. Call when your wife isn’t so destructive." Lois picked her daughter up and walked out of the room and continued out of the house.

Ned sat on the edge of his bed staring at Alexis who had fallen back to sleep. He had loved her from the day they had met. He had been there for her through everything and couldn’t possibly imagine his life without her. He loved her, but at that moment he hated her.

**************************************************************

One hour after Lois left Ned was pacing downstairs after one too many shots of vodka and whatever else he could find in the wet bar when Alexis came down. She walked towards him as if nothing had happened and kissed him. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away violently. "How could you do this to me!?" His eyes were full of a rage that she had never seen before. She stepped away from him in terror. "I just got my daughter back and thanks to you I may never see her again!!! It isn’t enough for you to have killed our daughter is it? Is it!? You just had to take mine away from me to!!! You just couldn’t stand the fact that Lois could have my child and you couldn’t."

"Stop! Stop, Ned! You don’t know what you’re saying." Alexis tries to control her tears but they poured from her eyes and ran down her cheeks.

"Shut up! I know exactly what I’m saying. You killed my baby. Do you have any idea how much this hurts?"

"Yes! I lost her too. She was inside of me for 11 weeks, Ned! I know how you feel."

"You have no idea what I’m going through. You haven’t even let me grieve for my daughter."

"What are you talking about?" still crying uncontrollably.

"I’ve been so busy picking up the messes that you leave behind I haven’t had any time to myself."

"Tell me now. Tell me how you feel. I want to help." Alexis grabs his arm and pleading with him.

"Ned pulls his arm away which causes Alexis to jump. "How can you? How can you help me when you can’t even help yourself." Ned grabs her arm and drags her to the front door. "Get out. Just go away. I can’t see you now. I can’t even be near you."

"Please, Ned, don’t do this. I’m sorry… No. No I’m not sorry, my baby died to. I won’t apologize for grieving for her." Her tears have stopped and anger has over come her. She tries to push herself back into the house but it is no use.

"What do I have to do in order to get through to you. I don’t care. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. It’s your fault she died and you have no right to mourn for her. Goodbye, Alexis." Ned slams the door in her face and goes back to the wet bar for another shot. Alexis collapses outside the door in agony over loosing the two most important things in her life. She didn’t think it was possible to loose the only man that she’d ever loved because she lost the only child she’d ever had. She sat there a long time before gathering all her remaining strength and walking away from the life she always wanted bet knew she never deserved.

*Once Upon A Dream: Jekyll & Hyde; The Original Broadway Cast Recording
 
 

Chapter 5

"Now what." V said as she once again got up from the couch and answered the door. "Boy, am I popular today. Come on in, Alexis." V carried on as her usual perky self and was laughing as she began to tell Alexis about all the visitors that she had that day. "…First Jax and Brenda came over, and then Brenda’s sister Julia. I really don’t know why she came here. I don’t even like her. I figured she would go to the gatehouse to see Ned before anything else. Do you remember how she was all over him in Monte Carlo? I’ve never seen-"

"V, do you want me to leave?" her voice was so soft and vulnerable she surprised herself. V looked down at her for the first time. She was curled up on her couch clutching a pillow to her chest. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and her hair and makeup had seen better days.

"No. No, of course not. What happened?" her voice was suddenly full of concern as she sat down next to Alexis on the couch.

"He left me. Actually, he threw me out." The tears came again and V scooted closer and put her arms around her.

"Tell me what happened." Alexis slowly went through the entire conversation that she had with Ned. Reliving every word and gesture as she spoke.

"I’m sure he just needs some time, Alexis. He loves you too much to let you go that easily. Just give him some time." Alexis nodded but didn’t believe a word that V was saying. "You can stay here tonight, okay? I’ve got an extra bedroom. Go get some sleep."

"Thanks V. I’m sorry just to barge in like this, but I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I miss him already." V stood up from the couch and Alexis followed.

"Go to bed."

"Yes mother." Alexis smiled at V and hugged her tightly before going into the bedroom. As soon as she was inside, V, went to the phone and called Jax telling him everything that happened between Ned and Alexis.

***************************************************************

A short while after Alexis left Ned there was a knock on his door. "I told you to stay away!" he yelled at the top of his lungs throwing the shot glass against the door.

"Ned? Ned, what’s going on? Are you okay?" Ned walked to the door and opened it slowly. To his surprise it was dark outside.

"Julia. What are you doing back in town?" Ned was surprised to see her but glad for the distraction she provided. "Come on in." He escorted her into the living room and took her coat.

"Ned?" Ned looked back at the two women sitting on his couch. "Ned are you drunk?" Julia stood up and walked over to him. He knees were wobbly and he allowed her to help him to the couch.

"I guess I might have had a little to much tonight. I’m glad you’re here Julia."

"Why is that?" she pulled him close to her and he laid his head on her chest. "What happened to you Ned?" She treated him like a little child; stroking his hair and kissing his forehead.

"I don’t want to talk." He sat up and stared into her dark eyes.

"What do you want to-" Her words were muffled by his mouth as he pulled her close and kissed her passionately. She resisted for a moment… but only for a moment. She leaned into him, returning his kiss, and began to unbutton his shirt. "Ned…"

"Don’t talk." He whispered as he lay her down on the couch.

*Like We Never Had A Broken Heart, Trisha Yearwood; Songbook
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Chapter 6
 
 

Alexis sat alone in her hotel suite curled up on the couch reading a case file. It had been six weeks since she had spoken too or seen Ned. She had kept busy, taking on more cases than she could probably handle. She didn’t mind pulling an ‘all-nighter’ to get things in order. In fact she was grateful that she didn’t have to go to sleep…alone.

"...violation of first amendment rights…blah…blah…blah"

=========

"What do I have to do in order to get through to you. I don’t care. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. It’s your fault she died and you have no right to mourn for her. Goodbye, Alexis."

=========

"I’m sorry, Ned. I’m so sorry," she whispered to herself somehow hoping he could here her, knowing he couldn’t. Why did she have to break down in front of Brook Lynn? Why did she have to loose control? Why couldn’t she just forget and move on? Why did she let her little baby die…? The thought stuck with her for a long time. Ned was right. It was her fault. All her fault. ‘He’ll never forgive you now Natasha. You didn’t deserve him. You didn’t deserve your baby. Helena was right.’

***************************************************************

Ned sat in the gatehouse at V’s desk with the stereo remote in his hand. The volume was turned up so loudly that the statues on the shelf were shaking. Julia, who left Port Charles the night that she came, knocked on his door several times. "Ned! Ned," she let herself into the house and gently put her hand on his shoulder.

"What the…" Ned jumped out of his chair startled at Julia’s presence. She held her arms up in a ‘don’t shoot’ gesture and they both laughed. "Hold on," Ned said as he turned the volume on the stereo down. "Now, what can I do for you Ms. Berrett?"

"Ned, do you remember what happened between us last time I was here?" He nodded cautiously. "There is something we need to discuss."

***************************************************************

"Ned I’m leaving. I’m going back to Manhattan. Don’t try to stop me." Alexis repeated this over and over in her car as she was driving to the gatehouse. "I was offered a position at a firm in Manhattan. I leave next week. I just wanted to tell you I’m out of your life for good. Don’t try and stop me." She noticed that this variation had ended the same as the last, in a lie. "Stop me," she said softly. "Please stop me." She pulled up to the front gate and parked her car. As she approached Ned’s home she noticed that the door was open and without thinking walked right in.

"Your pregnant?" Ned stared at Julia. Alexis stood frozen in the doorway. She was silent and unnoticed by Ned and Julia. "Are you sure it’s mine?" Julia nodded, unable to meet his gaze. Tears began to sting in Alexis’s eyes. "This wasn’t supposed to happen. God, this wasn’t supposed to happen."

"It did happen Ned. That much we know. What are we going to do?" Julia looked up, but not at Ned. "Alexis?" Ned spun around and saw her standing in the doorway. Her face wet with continuously falling, silent tears.

"I…I just came to say…goodbye," the words choked her as they came out. "I’m moving to Manhattan," her voice was barely above a whisper, "Goodbye, Ned." She walked away quickly and ran as soon as she was out of sight.

Ned stared blankly out the window. Should he go after her? What would he say? What could he say? Did she even deserve an explanation? Yes, he decided. She did.

"She didn’t deserve any of this you know. She never did anything wrong." Julia took his hand and led him over to the couch. "Are you going after her? I’ll understand if you…"

"No," Ned said without emotion, "Not now." Julia looked at him sympathetically. She touched the side of his face with the back of her hand and he instantly grabbed it and pushed away. Julia pulled back startled. "I just need to think right now, Julia," he said gently, "I just need to think."

Julia stood up and walked to the door. "I’m staying at the hotel if you need me." She smiled weakly. He didn’t look up…just stared at his hands. When he heard the door shut he grabbed a throw pillow and threw it against the wall.

"What have you done Ashton? Another fine mess you’ve gotten into. And the one person…the one person you can turn to is gone. Stupid!" He sat heavily on the couch and rested his head in his hands. Now what, he thought, now what.
 
 
 
 

Chapter 7
 
 

Alexis walked into Luke’s club later that evening looking for an escape. She sat down at the bar and tossed her purse into the seat next to her. "What can I get you Miss Davis?" Claude stood behind the bar with a huge smile on his face.

"Vodka"

"Coming right up."

"Can you make it a double…triple maybe?"

"Rough night?" Claude asked giving her the drink.

"You could say that," she downed the drink in on swallow and placed it on the bar for a refill. Claude poured her another, which she again gulped down.

Claude looked at her almost sympathetically and put the bottle in front of her. "On the house," he said loud enough to get her attention, "I don’t think Luke will mind." They exchanged smiles and he went off to serve another lonely customer.

Half an hour, and half a bottle later, Luke walked in and went to the bar. "Hello, Claude. What’s happening?"

"Alexis Davis is over there drowning her troubles in vodka. I was just about to cut her off."

"Any idea what her troubles are? Not Helena is it?"

"Not sure. She didn’t say much."

"Thanks Claude." Claude nodded at Luke than continued to refill drinks. Luke walked over to Alexis, who had long lost track of how many shots she had taken.

"Hey Tash. What do you say we call it a night, huh?" he took the bottle and put it back under the bar.

"I was drinking that," she said coldly. He was surprised at how articulate she still was. Cassadines really can hold their liquor, he thought.

"I noticed. You’re going to put me out of business if you keep drinking like that." She didn’t look up. "Wanna tell me what you’re trying to forget?"

"Go to hell." She stood up quickly…to quickly and Luke grabbed her around the waist to hold her up. "I’m fine. Let go."

"I don’t let people walk out of here who can’t walk." Alexis looked at him suspiciously. "Well not the lawyers who could put me out of business." The same look, but with a little more annoyance. "Okay, okay. Not the pretty lawyers who can put me out of business and can’t walk. Come on Tash. Let’s sober you up a little."

"My name is Alexis. Thank you Luke." She let him help her into his office and onto a chair.

"You must really be wasted, toots. I’ve never heard a Cassadine say ‘thank you’ for anything in my whole life."

"There’s a first time for everything," she took a drink of the water that he had given her, "Don’t get used to it."

***************************************************************

Alexis walked down the hall towards her suite. It was late. She didn’t know how late, but she knew if it wasn’t already tomorrow it would be soon. Her head still pounded and her knees were still a little shaky, but she was much better than she was before Luke gave up on trying to get her to talk and drove her home. She was grateful to him for that. She hated New York cab drivers as much as the next guy and didn’t trust herself to walk any distance let alone drive all the way home. She was digging through her purse for her room key when she heard a familiar and unwelcome voice calling her name.

"Alexis, wait. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting forever for you to come home."

"Your not my mother, Julia. It is none of your business where I have been." Alexis found her key and proceeded to enter her suite, shutting the door in Julia’s face.

"Alexis please. I need to talk to you," she yelled through the closed door.

"I have nothing to say to you. And even if I did I wouldn’t." She through her purse and keys on the table and walked towards the bathroom.

"Alexis. I’m not leaving until you here me out. He still loves you Alexis. He…" The door opened to Julia’s amazement and Alexis sat down on the couch and waited for her to come in.

"Make it quick. I want to go to bed sometime before I have to get up again." Julia began to laugh but quickly stopped herself when she realized that Alexis wasn’t kidding around. "I understand somewhat why he did it. Why did you." Alexis’s stare was cold and unwavering. "Why did you sleep with my husband, Julia? It’s a simple question. Answer it." Alexis got up from the couch and stood directly in front of her. Julia searched her face for the slightest spark of compassion, but saw none. "Why?!" Alexis screamed.

"He was hurting. You hurt him, Alexis. When you lost the baby you…"

"I know that," Alexis interrupted, "I was hurting too. You didn’t answer my question. Why did you sleep with him? Do you have a thing for vulnerable men?"

"No. I…I was trying to comfort him…I was…" Julia hit the wall hard and sunk to the floor. Alexis stood over her for a moment and then began to rub her hand. Blood was dripping from Julia’s nose. She had both of her hand tightly pressed to the place where Alexis’s fist had landed.

"Get out of my suite. I don’t ever want to see you again." Alexis walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the shower leaving Julia on the floor in the living room.

When she got out of the shower, Julia had left. She went into the bedroom still rubbing her hand. She felt significantly better. She wasn’t sure why, it probably had something to do with letting her anger out on Julia’s pretty little face. She smiled at the memory. Seeing her fly through the air and hit the door. She knew, as a lawyer, that assaulting someone was wrong but it felt so good.
 
 

Alexis lay in bed alone mindlessly playing with the gold locket that Ned had gotten her for her birthday. She smiled remembering how long he teased her with it and how he tried desperately to get her to tell him her age. Her eyes drifted shut and she soon fell fast asleep, letting her mind wonder where ever it wanted to.

=========

"Ned, didn’t you say you had a present for me?"

"Yes I did, darling. Would you like it?" he knew the answer but loved tormenting her with the small box.

"Yes please," she said in a childish tone. "May I please have my present now?"

"Just as soon as you tell me one little thing."

"What’s that. Wait I bet I know. I love you, Ned." She smiled sincerely at him, challenging him with her dark eyes.

"I love you too, Alexis. But unfortunately that wasn’t what I wanted you to tell me," he said quickly as he pulled the package out of her reach.

"What then. What do I have to do to get my present? She was on top of him on the couch grabbing at the box that he held above his head and laughing so hard there were tears is her eyes.

"How old are you this year, Miss Davis?"

"Ned, there are two things you never ask a woman," she is still laughing and Ned has joined her, "One is her weight…" She lunges toward the box hoping to catch him off guard. He quickly switches the box to the other hand and she rolls onto the floor. "And the other is her age." She sits on the floor with her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip stuck out in a classic pout position. Ned looks down at her and smiles. Sighing heavily for emphasis he surrenders the box, which is severely crumpled, and she snatches it from him greedily.
 
 

"Oh my God. Ned, it’s beautiful. You didn’t have to do this. It’s…"

"Just say thank you, Alexis." He reaches down and helps her back on to the couch.

"Thank you," she leans over and kisses his mouth. He smiles as he watches her inspecting the tiny locket in her hand. She runs her fingers delicately over the engraving; I love you, Alexis. Inside was a picture of the two of them in Monte Carlo. "This is so beautiful."

"You already said that." She looks up at him, her eyes misting over.

"Well I’m saying it again." Her fingers rub against the back and she looks at him before turning it over. He has a stupid grin on his face and a look in his eyes that dares her to read the back. ‘Happy 34^th. Love Always, Ned.’ She looked at him for a moment before throwing a pillow in his face. They began laughing again.
 
 

Ned walked down the stairs into his living room. All night he had been thinking about how screwed up everything had gotten in the past few months. He had had it all. A woman, a wife, that he adored and that loved him for who he was and not some act that he put on. Brook Lynn was back in his life3 after three years. He had a little baby girl on the way and now…now he lost everything. His baby was dead, Alexis was leaving for good and Lois would probably never let him near his daughter again. And on top of all that there was Julia… Julia who was having his baby. "Damn you!" The sound of broken glass filled the room as a picture of Alexis and Brook Lynn hit the wall.

He tried to hate her, tried to forget her, but she was everywhere. His mind flashed back to the night they met. Christmas Eve 4 years ago when all that was on their minds was forgetting everything on their minds. Their first kiss after the Nurses Ball. The Valentines Day when they became lovers. All these memories, all these magical moments that he had shared with Alexis were still so fresh in his mind that he could feel her in his arms.

He wanted to blame her. Her wanted everything to be her fault. Some how that would make it easier. But it wasn’t her fault and he knew that. She hadn’t known the baby would die and she hadn’t made him sleep with Julia that night. He reached for the phone and noticed that his hands were shaking.

"Hello?" a very tired and slightly annoyed Alexis answered the phone. "Hello, who is this?"

"Alexis, don’t hang up." She sat up suddenly wide-awake.

"Ned?" tears were already starting to sting her eyes.

"I…I wanted to say…Alexis I…" He quickly slammed the phone back down on the receiver. "I wanted to say I love you," he whispered to her picture, tears flowing from his eyes.

"I love you, Ned." She hung the phone back up and lay back down in bed. As she looked down at her hand her emotions overcame her. A heart shaped diamond on a single band of gold. She spun it around on her finger before finally taking it off and lying it on her nightstand.
 
 

=========
 
 

"Alexis, there’s something that I need to ask you." She could sense the nervousness in him and he knew it.

"What is it, Ned? Is something wrong?" He took her hands in his and she could feel the sweet on his palms.

"No," his answer came quickly and loudly. "No, nothing’s wrong."

"Then what is it? What did you want to ask?" She stares at him inquisitively searching his face for some clue.

"Alexis, you know that I love you very much. More than I could ever say."

"I love you too."

"And I know that I have screwed up in the past and that I don’t have the best track record or anything but I…"

"Ned, honey, your rambling. Just tell me."

"Alexis will you marry me?" Her eyes flooded with tears and she flew into his arms. Before he even realized he had asked her she had answered him.

"Yes. Of course I will." Ned cried as he slipped the ring on her finger. She looked into his eyes and then leaned in to kiss him. "I love you," she whispered into his ear. "I’ll never stop loving you."

=========

*Please Forgive Me, Bryan Adams; So Far So Good
 
 

Chapter 8
 
 

Alexis walked through her suite one last time to see if there was anything left behind. She noticed something that had fallen behind her couch and bent down for a closer look. It was a picture of Brook Lynn. Just a candid photograph that she had taken last time she was visiting Ned. She remembered then that she had intended to give it to Ned but decided not to because it was so cute. "I’ll miss you, Brook," she said as she slipped the photo in her purse.

"Lois," she sad suddenly, walking towards the phone. "You’re not going to take her away from him again." She remembered what Lois had said when she left; ‘Brook, I don’t think this is a good time for you to stay with Daddy. Let’s go home honey. It’s not a good time, Ned. Call when your wife isn’t so destructive.’

"U.S. information. How may I help you?"

"I need the number of a Lois Ashton in Bensonhurst, New York."

"One moment please." Alexis tapped her fingers nervously on the table. What was she going to say? How could she even get Lois to listen to her? She didn’t know, but she had to try. Ned loved that little girl and he wasn’t going to loose her again. Especially not because of something that she herself did. "Ma’am are you there?"

"Yes. Yes, I’m here sorry."

"There is no listing for Lois Ashton in that area are you sure you have the correct name?"

"Yes. Wait try Lois…God what is it…Cerullo. Try Lois Cerullo."

"One moment please"

"One moment please," Alexis echoed sarcastically.

"Would you like me to connect you to that number. There is no charge for a connection when you use this compa-"

"Yes."

"One moment please" Alexis flopped down on the couch. ‘These people sound like parrots’ she thought.

"Hello." It was Lois’s voice. Alexis froze for a moment but soon regained her nerve. This is for Ned she thought. The one good thing that your doing for him.

"Lois it’s Alexis. Don’t hang up I need to talk to you." She was practically pleading with the woman on the other line.

"What do you want Alexis? I have nothing to say to you." Lois was very annoyed but curious at the same time.

"I want to talk to Alexis." A small voice came from the background and tears began to form in Alexis’s eyes.

"Not now Brook. Alexis and I have something important to talk about."

"Yes we do," Alexis interrupted surprised at how fast she had composed herself. "Lois, Ned left me. Well we left each other."

"That’s nice," her voice was full of sarcasm. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Nothing, but it has everything to do with Brook Lynn. I’m leaving tonight for Manhattan. I’m not coming back." The words were slow coming out as if she were just hearing them for the first time. "Bring Brook Lynn back to see Ned."

"Are you telling me how to raise my daughter?"

"No. I am telling you that your daughter has a father that loves her more than life its self. Lois, I know what it’s like growing up without parents. I also know that you love Brook Lynn, but you have got to understand that there are things that she can experience with Ned that she never would be able to with you." Lois couldn’t believe it. Alexis was actually begging her. "I know I’m the problem, Lois. I know I messed everything up. That’s why I’m leaving. That’s why…"

"Alexis are you okay?" She could hear her crying through the phone. "Alexis, Alexis I’ll bring her back. I promise. I want Ned to be in her life."

"Just not me." She choked on a sob. "Don’t answer Lois. Thank you for hearing me out."

"Alexis?" her voice was full of sympathy and concern.

"Yes." She was still crying.

"I hope Ned know what he’s loosing. Your one of the best things he’s ever had." Alexis said nothing. Lois had tears in her eyes. "Thanks for calling."

Both women hung up. Lois turned to Brook Lynn. "Do you want to go see your Daddy now?"

"Yes!" the little girl screamed in delight. She began to jump up and down. "Lets go, Mommy. Lets go."

"Tomorrow. We’ll go first thing tomorrow."

"Daddy!" Brook Lynn ran down the hall and Lois just laughed.

*************************************************************

"Grandfather, your going to loose ELQ Jakarta if you don’t listen to me! When have you ever objected to me working? You were trying to drag me out of the hospital when Alexis…" his voice trails off.

"When Alexis lost the baby," Edward finished for him. "Ned, I don’t object to you working. In fact I’m thrilled at all of the money you have made the company these past few months. Jakarta isn’t going anywhere. AJ already took care of that."

"AJ! He interrupts. AJ couldn’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag if he had a pair of scissors and a lighter. Let me-"

"AJ is doing just fine. I didn’t come here to talk about business, Ned" Ned has a look of shock on his face. "I asked you here to see how you were doing and to get you out of the house."

"What about Jakarta?"

"There’s nothing about Jakarta. I had to think of something to get you down here and I knew that was the only thing that would work."

"So what do you want?"

"I want to know how my grandson is doing. You’ve been through a lot , Ned. More than I think you realize."

"More than I realize?" Ned echoes. "Let’s see here. My baby girl is dead! I’ve ruined my chances of ever having a meaningful relationship with the only woman who ever really loved me. What else…Oh yeah. Lois came over with Brook Lynn when Alexis was in one of her self-pity modes and walked Brook right bake out the door."

"Alexis is the only reason you see Brook Lynn at all," Edward’s voice was soft. Ned couldn’t remember ever hearing that tone expressed towards him.

"She also the only reason I’ll probably never see her again."

"Do you still love her, Ned?"

"Of course I love her she’s my daughter. I’ll always love her."

"I know that Ned. I was referring to your wife. Do you still love Alexis?"

"Yes." Ned’s voice cracked and much to his surprise his eyes began to mist over.

"Go to her Ned." Edward spoke softly and placed his hand on his grandson’s shoulder. Ned’s face was buried in his hands. "It may not be to late."

"She’s gone."

"What? Where?"

"Manhattan. She’s leaving today. I’m sure she’s already gone." Ned stood up and started to walk away from the table. He stopped just short of the door and turned around. "Thank you, Grandfather". Edward nodded his head and finished his coffee. He sat there long after Ned had gone and realized for the first time just how much Ned loved her.

****************************************************************

"Brenda, where are you going. This isn’t are floor." Jax smiled at his wife as he grabbed her elbow and pulled her back in the elevator.

"I know. I’m going to go see how Alexis is and say good bye before she goes off to the big city." She hits a button to reopen the doors.

"What about me? Can I come?" Jax was playfully begging her and gave her his best pouty face.

"No," she smiled. "You said good bye to her last night when I was at Julia’s. Besides Jessica is hungry and she needs to be changed." She laughed at Jax’s look of horror that he got every time she even mentioned diapers. "Be brave." She placed her hands down hard on his shoulder and gave him her best serious look. "Bye." She kissed him quickly and then jumped out of the elevator before just before the doors shut again.

************************************************************

Alexis was knelt on the floor near the door of her suite with a shard of glass in her hand. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t know how she got there. She didn’t remember what had happened. There was a broken picture frame on the floor that once held her wedding picture. The picture, with her, Ned, Brook Lynn, V, Brenda, and Jax was in pieces all over the room.

"Mama, can you here me?" Her voice was shaking. "Is Marissa with you? Are you keeping her safe?

Brenda walked down the hallway towards Alexis’s suite. She stood in front of the door ready to knock.

"I really messed up, Mom. I had it all. I had everything and now it’s gone."

A tear slipped down Brenda’s cheek and she quickly walked back towards the elevator.

"Do you miss me, Mom. I’m sorry I don’t remember you. That doesn’t matter know, I’ll be with you soon."

~~~~~

"Back already?" Jax said with a smile as she entered their penthouse. He was sitting in a chair holding their sleeping baby. "She didn’t leave already did she?"

"No her mother was there. I didn’t want to interrupt. She sat down next to him.

"What did you say?"

"I heard her talking to her mother so I didn’t even bother knocking. She sounded pretty upset. This has got to be hard on her." She looked at Jax and then down at Jessica.

"Did anyone answer her?" Jax asked trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"I don’t know I left right away. Jax what’s going on? You’re starting to freak me out a little."

"Her mother’s dead Brenda. She’s been dead for over thirty years." Jax gave Jessica to Brenda as he got up and walked quickly towards the door. When he opened it he jumped back.

"Hello Jax. Perfect timing." Bobbie and Jerry were standing in the doorway. Brenda ran up to Bobbie and put Jessica in her arms.

"Watch her for a minute please." Her and Jax both bolted from the doorway. Bobbie looked at Jerry puzzled.

"Their not even newly weds anymore." He laughed and Bobbie joined him. They made their way into the penthouse and got comfortable.

~~~~~~

Alexis held the glass to her wrist. The tears still fall from her eyes. "Damn it!"

The glass sliced her wrist. She sat there in shock feeling nothing but the pain of the cut. It was the only thing she had felt in a long time.

~~~~~~

"Alexis? Alexis can you here me?" Jax yelled through the door but heard no response.

"Is she in there?" Brenda asked coming up behind him and trying to catch her breath.

"I don’t know the doors locked and no one is answering."

"Alexis," he yelled again. They heard something from inside. A cry perhaps. They weren’t sure. "We have to get in there. Do you think Ned will mind if I break down the door?"

He backed up a few paces ready to charge. "Wait! Stop!" Brenda grabbed his arm. "She could be in front of the door." Jax stood still.

"We’ve got to get in their, Brenda."

"Hold on a sec." She began to dig through her backpack purse. "Here." She handed him a small key that said 686 on it. He stared at it, suprised for a moment. "Open the door, Jax!"

The door swung open and there was Alexis. Brenda fell to her knees and scooped her up in her arms. Her left wrist was bleeding, but not badly. "I’ll call an ambulance."

"No." It was the softest sound they had ever heard. Jax knelt down beside Brenda and looked at Alexis’s emotionless face. "Please. Don’t let them take me back there. I didn’t mean to." She raises her wrist, which Brenda is holding tightly. "I don’t want to die. I just wanted to stop hurting. I’m sorry."

Brenda holds her tighter and Jax begins to stroke her hair. Bobbie’s at the penthouse, Jax. She can look at her wrist. I know how she feels. Don’t put her back in there it won’t help." Jax looks sympathetically at his wife remembering the time she herself was in the hospital and all of the pain that it had caused her. He leans over and gently picks Alexis up.
 
 

Chapter 9

It’s 4 a.m. Alexis sits on the couch in Jax and Brenda’s penthouse with a blanket wrapped around her. Bobbie wrapped her wrist up and informed her that she was very lucky. ‘Another inch’ she said. ‘One more inch and…’ She shuddered at the thought. She wasn’t ready to die. She had her entire life ahead of her. Did she say that? She didn’t even know where her life was going at this point other than a law firm in Manhattan. It’s better that a hole in the ground.

Alexis perked up at the sound of Jessica. The little baby was fussing in her room. Alexis got up from the couch and walked toward the nursery. "Hey there. What’s the matter Jesse? Did you have a bad dream or something?" The baby continued to fuss. Alexis leaned over and picked her up out of the crib and sat with her in the rocking chair. "Shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay, Jessica." She sat rocking the little girl for quite some time. The baby fell sound asleep against her chest.

"Alexis?" Brenda was standing in the doorway.

"It’s okay, Brenda. I know where I am and what I’m doing." Alexis smiled and Brenda walked over to her and knelt down next to the chair. "She’s so perfect. Like a little angel."

"She is my little angel." Brenda laid Jessica back in her crib and turned to Alexis. "Are you tired?"

"Not really."

"Me either. There’s ice cream in the freezer. Let’s talk."

~~~~~~

Ned was asleep on his couch. He hadn’t slept in his bedroom since Alexis left. Sometimes he would end up in the spare room, once even at the kitchen table, but mostly the couch. Ned jumped up, falling off of the couch. "Hello."

"Ned, its Julia."

"I’m sorry to call so late…or early…whatever."

"What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?"

"No. It’s a boy, Ned. Six pounds 3 ounces. He’s perfect."

"I have a son?" He sat down on the couch rubbing his forehead.

"I named him Matthew Lawrence. Lawrence after you."

"Julia, I really don’t know what to say. I don’t…"

"I don’t want you to love me, Ned. I’m fine. I’m seeing someone. He’s really great and -. Ned I won’t keep him from you if you want to see him, but I have a life now and it’s working."

"I understand. Thank you for calling. I’ll get down there soon and see him I promise. Oh and Julia."

"Yes."

"I’m happy for you."

"Thank you, Ned"

"Take care. Bye." He hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how to feel. Happy that he had a son? Sad that he would never really know him? Angry because he had helped conceive the child. No, no, no. Lonely. That was exactly how he felt. Just lonely.

~~~~~~~~

"You amaze me do you know that?"

"I assure you Alexis Davis there is nothing amazing about me," she said bluntly than raised an eyebrow. "Why do I amaze you?"

Alexis laughed. "I thought you might want to know. You’ve been friends with Ned through two marriages now and your still like his best friend."

"That’s not amazing. Ned never married me."

"No, not that. The fact that your still friends with both of his ex-wives is kind of interesting though. You and Jax are very go with the flow kind of people." They both laugh for a moment.

Brenda smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I didn’t realize you and Ned were divorced," she suddenly turned very serious.

"Were not, but it’s only a matter of time I’m sure. He’s probably waiting for me to draw up the papers. I always did his legal work." She began to laugh but Brenda sat silent.

"I’m sorry, Alexis. I know you loved him."

"Love."

"What?"

"I love him, Brenda. I’m afraid I always will."
 
 
 
 

Chapter 10

"Ashton! Ned open the door!"

"What the hell do you want Jax? It’s nine o’clock in the morning."

"Yes it is and her plain leaves at ten. This is your last chance, Ned. Put away your stupid pride and go after her."

"She said she was leaving yesterday?" Ned walked back inside and Jax followed him.

"Well she didn’t. She had a rough day yesterday and she’s taking a flight this morning."

"What happened yesterday?" Ned’s voice was full of worry.

"Ask her yourself." Jax through Ned’s coat at him.

"I can’t."

"Why not! Are you afraid she might tell you? Are you worried that you just might find out about all of the hell you’ve put her through these past few months?"

"I said I can’t! That’s all you need to know."

"Daddy why are you yelling?" Jax looked up at the little girl who came bouncing down the stairs.

"It’s nothing honey. Did I wake you?" Brook Lynn shook her head and held her arms out for Ned to pick her up.

"She’s back." Jax looked Ned directly in the eyes.

"Yeah. Lois brought her back a couple days ago. She said she realized that she needed to see her father. Why am I even telling you this? Why are you still here?"

"Alexis called her."

"What are you talking about?"

"Alexis called Lois and told her she was leaving. She told her to bring your daughter back to you." Ned was shocked. He stared at Brook. "Do what you want, Ned. But I want you to know that the best thing…the best thing that will ever happen to you is going to get on that plane and never come back." Jax stormed out slamming the door behind hem. Ned sat on the couch with Brook Lynn in his lap.

"Emily."

"Good morning, Ned."

"Listen Em, I need you to come down here and watch Brook for a little while for me."

"Sure. Where are you going?"

Ned looked at the clock and sighed. "The airport."

"Are you going after Alexis!?" Emily couldn’t hide the excite meant in her voice. She knew how much he needed her.

"Yes."

"Yes! Sorry. Leave now I’ll be there in two seconds she’ll be fine." Emily hung up the phone and bolted for the door.
 
 

****************************************************************

Flight 153 for Manhattan is now boarding. All passengers please report to the gate.

Alexis got up gathered her carryon and got in line to board. She looked out the window and took one last glance at Port Charles. She had never intended to stay here. Never intended to fall in love or to…

"Alexis! Alexis, wait!" He came running down the terminal towards her. "Alexis…I…". He tried to talk but couldn’t catch his breath.

"Go home, Ned. You have everything you need now." She turned away unable to look him in the eye.

"I don’t have you! I need you. I love you." He was still panting.

Alexis stepped out of line and walked towards him. "I love you," he whispered again. By this time a small crowd had gathered in the terminal all staring at Ned and Alexis. Jax, Brenda, and Jessica were among them.

"I’m sorry, Ned." Alexis began to cry. "I’m sorry I lost the baby. I’m sorry I hurt you and I didn’t listen. I’m sorry about…" He put his fingers on her lips silencing her.

"It’s not your fault." Alexis pulled away. "Listen to me, Alexis. It’s not your fault." Ned began to cry as well. "You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…"

"You just needed to mourn for your daughter. I understand that I… I love you, Ned. Through all of this, after everything that has happened, I’ve never stopped loving you."

"Kiss her already!" An old man yelled from somewhere behind them. They laughed through their tears as he pulled her close. She wiped the tears from his cheeks and he did the same for her. With their foreheads touching and their lips inches apart Ned whispered I love you just before their lips touched. She fell into his arms cherishing the security of his embrace. "That’s nice, " the man said.

Last call for flight 153 to Manhattan.

Ned and Alexis both looked at each other and smiled. "Lets go home," Ned said holding out his hand to her. She took it and they walked out. A few people clapped and the old man nodded as they walked by.

"You hold on to her," he said to Ned.

"I don’t ever plan on letting her go again." He smiled at the man and then at Alexis before they walked away.

"I knew it." Brenda looked up at Jax and smiled.

"You knew what?"

"That they would get it."

"Get what?" He is still puzzled at her statement.

"A second chance." Brenda smiled at Jax and they walked out hand in hand.

The End!