~Why~

By: Meatball Head

E-mail: pomprincess@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Warning. This is very very very dark, and short. It's a character sketch of Sailor Pluto, who I have honestly become absolutely obsesed with the past while. I feel so sorry for her, all alone. Anyway, this doesn't have a plot, just...examines her character. I hope ya like it. NO, I haven't given up on my romance fiction, I have two first season fics in progress. I swear, you'll see more soon. For now, just please be satisfied with this. And tell me what you think. This story means a lot to me. Ja ne!

Disclaimer:  I don't own sailor Moon, and right now I don't have any more energy to spend on this disclaimer.

    I watch the portal close with a sense of finality. Those young Senshi...so naive. I will have to let them back through in several days, I am sure. They would lose Small Lady along the way. No matter which facet of time I examined, they always lost Small Lady. I hate myself for letting her out in the world to be lost, I wish wholeheartedly she would be safe at home, with her loving family. Or even here with me. But she would be lost.

    I often let myself be carried away by my demons when no one is looking. I see their faces before me one by one. Queen Serenity. I did what had to be done. Had I warned them, time would have taken its toll eventually. I did what had to be done. I did...Still, none of that changes the look on her face when she used her last strength to save her children. She had looked up at me, watching from my portal, and I was sure she had seen. She had been a good friend once, someone who had frequented the Gates of Time. To visit me in my loneliness. She had seen the portal, had seen me, and her eyes had screamed "why?" before they went blank, and she fell limp against the broken marble column. I had known, and I had not helped. Still, I think I see her face sometimes. "Why? You were my friend. You could have saved my kingdom, had you said one word. Why?" What can I tell her? It's for the greater good highness. Everything will come right in the end. "But you have eternity to see the greater good. I will never see my grandchildren..." Why indeed? Do I know? Perhaps not. The ache in my heart becomes unbearable, but my face remains dry. I have never cried. And for me, never is all eternity.

    "Why, Pluto?" A husky voice. I'm sorry Nephrite. We were allies once, in the Silver Millenium. You shared my concepts of the universe. You lived in reverence to the stars, going where they took you. "I was a good guy, you know. I loved Naru. We couild have been happy. You could have stopped Zoicite..." Could is not the right word, Nephrite. I'm sorry. "Why? Why couldn't I have had happiness? Is it too much to ask?" In this time, yes Nephrite. Far too much. As well ask me to hand you the moon.

    Saffir. Dimando. I see their faces before me in succession. The brothers that discovered love one moment too late. I watched Saffir die, screaming his brother's name. "Dimando! He will betray you, Dimando..!" His eyes screamed, and he died. "Why? He came through here every time, to change times. Why didn't you warn him? I could have stayed alive. Why?" What can I say, Saffir? It was for the greater good. I did what I had to. I did. You knew love Saffir. Be glad for that. "I only knew love for an hour before my life was taken. You could have stopped him! Why didn't you?" Silly, that. I have never met Saffir, yet he talks to me. I don't know why Saffir. Cry for him, Petz. He will see no tears from me.

    Dimando. One moment of love was all he got. "I'm sorry I lied Sailor Moon. I really did love you..." "Perhaps we can become friends..." I had watched the boy grow into a man, revered by his younger brother, worshiped by his kingdom. A cold man, until he saw the truth. In that last second, he had been sure he would find happiness. I had smiled with him briefly in his joy. Then Wiseman destroyed him. He had no right to destroy such a pure soul. It was pure for an instant. "The sun will never shine on me now...I only wanted the happiness of my people. And a day in the sun. You could have given that to me. Why didn't you? Why?" I don't know, Dimando. I don't. I hope you and Saffir will meet again. Strange, how I've never met him either.

    Princess Serenity. "I didn't get to marry my Endy, why? I thought we were friends!"

    Esmeraude. "I never got to know love. Why?"

    Even little Diana. "I died before I began to live. Why?"

    Faces spin all around me shouting "Why? Why?" I can't answer any of them. So I stand and wait by the portals of time. My chest burns, but my eyes are clear of tears. I sit for a long time. Time is of the essence, but I don't know how long.

    I feel a flash of negative energy flash through time. It won't be long now. Suddenly, with a pull of the Silver Crystal, I feel rather than see the young Inner Senshi return to me. I come toward them, my hair blowing in the mist. "How was the mission?" I already know.

    Sailor Moon lowers her head sadly. "We lost Chibi-Usa."

    "Hurry to the past to save her." And they are on their way.

    They lost Small Lady. For the first time in eternity, I put my head on my knees and cry.

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