Logs...
Sunday, 4th Jan
2004
One word, describes the
past 10 days, and says it like I feel it..... "Heaven"
Saturday,20th
Dec 2003
The days gone. There's
always a lesson to be learnt; sometimes a tough one. But in the end, life goes
on. That's the magic line, but yet so difficult to accept. Life goes on....
Friday,19th Dec
2003
BLANK ! It's actually
possible..... even if just for a few seconds.... to have a blank mind. No
thoughts, no worries, no emotions........... it's not the same as day dreaming;
it's different. It's BLANK. It's also gone now !
Wednesday,17th
Dec 2003
!? tnereffid eb ot nuf ti
t'nsi ...
Tuesday,16th Dec 2003
Andys Law : Do 9 things out of 10..... and it will the 10th "undone" thing, that will be noticed the most.
Sunday,14th Dec
2003
What's the price for having
space? What's the price to be able to think with no restrictions? Is it possible
to think with no restrictions? Or is that just a disguise for the fact that you
are "not thinking".
Friday,12th Dec
2003
I love space.... there's
just something fascinating about being able to spread your arms out wide. Or to
be able to think with no restrictions... no boundaries.
Tuesday,10th Dec
2003
Where were you
when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight... into the shining sun
Monday,24th Nov
2003
God bless her soul and look
after all her loved ones.
Sunday,23rd Nov
2003
It's ur bday and we're
gonna party, cause it's ur bday ! 50 cents jindabad!
Saturday,22nd
Nov 2003
I'm becoming quite
forgetful ... forgotten how to be patient, and forgotten how to relax.
Thursday,20th
Nov 2003
When you have to think
about what you should write; you shouldn't. Sometimes, everything is better left
unsaid.
Breathe...
Tuesday,18th
Nov 2003
I intended to write this ;
" It's all in the mind. Either you control your mind or your mind controls
you. Very simple equation, yet so difficult to solve "
Now, I feel like writing this ; " Fuck, I wish everything was easy. Why
does everything have to be about 'proving' yourself, about 'being a man' . Am I
wrong for wanting things easy, doesn't everybody? Who cares about everybody,
this is about me. How hard do things have to get, before I'm credited with the
line ' oh, you've had your fair share of hard times '. Who decides that?
Judge me if you like, laugh me off if you like. But don't lecture me about
looking at the brighter side of things and how some things have come so easy. I
know that story already. Spare me."
Monday,17th
Nov 2003
What scares me the most is
not knowing my reason for being here; the purpose for my existence. The day I
know, is the day I'll be a happy man.
Sunday,16th
Nov 2003
Im tired..... & that's
the bottom line.
Friday,14th
Nov 2003
Childrens day. When did I
grow up. Times flown, life has changed... for the better? I'm not judging, not
yet. When do you say you've learnt from the past and when does the past become too
much of a lesson? It's a tricky one. * Blink blink * Nothing changes so
easily.....
I hate headaches.
Thursday,13th
Nov 2003
11:45am. : Take me away.... far
away..... where the mind doesn't have to dream... and where dreams aren't so
real...
11pm. : 14 rounds help, tires you out, so you don't think. Is that a good
thing?
Wednesday,12th
Nov 2003
Pizza, 7up and 2 thanda
paans. What more can you ask for??! Actually, 1 and a half thanda paans; a
certain sapre decided she wanted half. Who in their right mind bites off and eats half a paan??!!
Oh, and we're not allowed to say "calm down" or the word "
issues" !! I'm sure my phones going to ring the second she reads this, and
I'm going to hear the famous words.... " you are soooo cheap na" !!!
Yes Despo, somethings don't change ! I can see you smiling too...... bastard!
I really want to watch a good movie...
Tuesday,11th
Nov 2003
Sometimes so much can
happen in a day, sometimes nothing can. The usual everyday routine carries on,
but nothing out of the ordinary. Wake up, have a glass of coffee, study, lunch,
study, watch telli, jog, eat, bathe, blog, msn, sleep. Good morning! Well, I did
have my blood taken today, just a regular check up. All systems go!
Tomorrow's another day....
Monday,10th
Nov 2003
Starting something is easy,
keeping it going is difficult.... maintaining an interest in it is the toughest.
That's why change is essential. In whatever you're doing. Who says it's too
late, who cares if everyone is moving ahead ,and I'm still trying to find what I
like? I'd rather jump from something to another thing, and be happy in the
end.... rather than stuck doing something that's not making me happy. Change.
The club goes on... on target. The rest goes on too.....
News just in..... space, it's a great place!
Sunday,9th
Nov 2003
No no, I haven't been
nursing an out of order tummy! I achieved my goal for the week... two of them
actually. Numero Uno - Go to the club for 1 week for a run. Numero Two o -
Maintain 8 rounds till the weekend. Well, friday saw 5+5 and yesterday saw 7+5.
So both goals achieved. Now, a new goal. Go everyday again for a week, and this
time maintain 12 by the end of the week. Got my date with E.M.E., 25th Nov. May
the force be with me!!
Thursday,6th
Nov 2003
5+5 = 10. I'm starting to
sound like a maths professor! Damn godden hell.... I've eaten too much again.
Went out for a late dinner with Ani & Amit ( sis & bro in law ) .
Mainland China was the joint tonight.
Starters
: Crispy spicy chicken, Steamed Chicken Dim Sums & Chicken Fried Wantons
Main course
: Veg Fried Rice, Chicken in Oyster sauce & Prawn something or the other.
Beverage :
Fresh lime soda, sweet
Forgive me lord for all the chicken I have eaten! I made the mistake of wearing
the tightest pants I own... so as soon as the starters were served, I undid the
button, yanked the zipper down.... & made good use of the napkin!! Thank god
I remembered to zip up once it was time to leave!! My pant was mighty unhappy,
as was my tummy !! MOAN !!!
Wednesday,5th
Nov 2003
4+3 = 7. So far so good.
Why do decisions exist? Why do we have to make them? Why can't we move ahead
without making them? Think about it.... you can't eat a meal unless you decide
what you want. You can't get dressed unless you decide what your look is for the
day. You can't buy a chocolate unless you decide which one you want. Sure,
sometimes the decision is made easier by lack of choice, or by the availability
of something you love..... but sometimes, it's not that simple. Sometimes, it's
not just a question of choice or what's good for the moment or based on what you
love. But yet, decisions still have to be made. Why? Anybody?
Tuesday,4th
Nov 2003
10 rounds... 5+5.... hari
om! Now, the challenge is to keep it between 7 to 10 for the whole week. Good
news, the naming issue is settled... H.U.D.D. vs S.K.U.N.K. ( to go with the
skunky coloured hair look lulu's sporting. ) Even gooder news..... I'm roping in
Sapre..... I'm going to direct a porno flick ( Despo there's always place for
you! ) Now, here's where my brilliance comes in once again. Lulu will be part of
the punjabi beat that builds up the taxi drive to the porny place.... lulu
leaves the scene, and enter Saprebai! Word has it that she shakes her leg a lot;
"It's relaxing" I've been told !! Well, here in India, what with
our Indian culture & all that jazz ( Pardon me, Mr.Chicago Director) , no
man & woman are gonna jump into the sack & do it on camera for a porn
flick, especially one directed by an amateur. So, we put 2 people under the
sheets....crisp white ones... and have Saprebai ( who incidentally is out of the
view of the camera! ), do her thing with her leg.... "Humping the
bed", as I call it !! So it LOOKS like man & woman are AT it ! Punjabi
remixed house music, green taxi cab, slip on pug, punjabi kudi, porny flick,
"humping" legs....... how can this one go wrong??!?! All I need now is
a name for this one to be a best-seller. Ladies and Gentlemens, I give you
...Whiteman !!! Thank you, thank you !..... Where'd I put my lawyers number!!??
Monday,3rd
Nov 2003
Six rounds today.2 walked,
2 jogged, 1 walked & the last jogged. The aim is to increase 2 a week. So,
at the end of this week, I hope to be doing 8! After listening to "Bhangra
Knights vs Husan - Husan;", I've come out with this brilliant plan; business
all the way! Taking into account the fact that I have an English mom, and I love
house music, AND there's some Punjabi blood in me somewhere ( Dad's Punjabi!
).....I'm gonna take old Punjabi music, spin it up a little, few beats here,
faster rhythms there....... yes yes, people are already doing it. BUT, do they
all have English mothers, Punjabi fathers, AND access to a
TV Punjabi???!! Now, every Punjabi
house rip off, must have a taxi driven by a surdee ( Randit and Zouk, you must
agree! ) ... and must have a Punjabi kudi dancing in a saree!!! My old green
Maruti 800 is coming home soon; Randit gave me a slip on pagdi years back (
blue, my favourite colour! ) : and I'm the process of roping in Luthra for the
kudi part. The only catch is the name. I'm thinking whiteman vs luthra won't
sell...... so I said whiteman vs lulu...... somehow that didn't go down too
well! whiteman vs ullu ka phatha, that brings her parents into the picture......
objections there too!! The matter is still being sorted out..... what's with a
name I tell you........ WHITEMAN vs LULU ! It'll sell; someone tell this
business mismatch!!
Sunday,2nd
Nov 2003
ooo aaaahh ooouucch! Ripped
off from the Iodex add, but damnit do I need some tonight! Me and the
bandit,Randit, decided we needed some exercise. Poona Club ground to the rescue.After dropping mom off to the station ( she's gone to spend a few days with my sis Anju in Bombay. Have I mentioned Anjus shifted again? ) ,I hit the club.Walked 1 round before being joined by my partner in ..umm.. walking?! Another round walked, followed by 2 jogged and 1 more walked to top it off. Each round is 650m, so i think it was a good start. I lost Rando somewhere in the middle,found him later telling me I've lost it. Sure was hungry after that, good thing there was some grub in the fridge! It's only 9:50pm, but damn am I sleepy! There's the bed.... my pillow......aaaaah!
Saturday,1st
Nov 2003
One word, BURP! I'm so
fucking full! And no, I'm not sorry for fucking, it's my site! Wonder if Yahoo
minds... I'll soon find out! Did dinner at Leenas, the only difference being I
cooked with Vidisha. Tandoori chicken, tandoori paneer and my all time favourite
chocolate brownies! The chicken was superdelicious ( is that a word?) , the
paneer tender like a babies bottom... and the brownies, criminally divine! OK
OK, so I did cook, but it was good!! Two Bacardi
Breezers to wash it down,
cranberry! Excuse me for undoing the button on my trousers, I'm gonna explode!
Friday,31st
Oct 2003
Well, after hours of sitting in
front of the screen, I've finally succeeded in putting up something that I can
smile 'bout. It's a start, there will be changes! The most frustrating part is
finding web space... vsnl sux, the rest of the free bees have annoying pop ups
(I'm sure you've noticed!). Feel free to report bugs... keep smart ass comments
firmly for your penises. ( ladies, alter accordingly). For the first time ever,
I've had disappointing butter chicken at the club. Tasted like dirty dish
water. I need ice cream... Naturals to the rescue!