Subject: How to get out of a ticket (ZT)

>Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

>Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

>Officer: May I see the owner's  card for this vehicle?

>Driver: It's not my car. I  stole it.

>Officer: The car is stolen?

>Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

>Officer: There's a gun in the glove  box?

>Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the

 woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the  trunk.

>Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

>Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

>Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

>Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

>Captain: Who's car is this?

>Driver: It's  mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

>The driver  owned the car.

>Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

>Driver:  Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was  nothing in the glove box.

>Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

>Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

>Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in  the trunk.

>Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too