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Substitutionary Language

       As a substitute for true profanity, many people choose to use faux words. This is often to disguise their true intentions or to lessen the affect of the word. Just as with use of the true forms of profanity, substitutionary language can easily become habitual and subconsciously used as primary vocabulary, usually as adjectives or adverbs. Although all substitutionary language originate from and replace true profanity, it is often regarded as much a lesser.

       The actual words for substitutionary language often include multiple parallels per original word. Strangely, they appear in present verb form and are used as an adjective or adverb. Exchanged for what is regarded as the mother of all English profanity, “freaking” appears in the present verb form of “freak.” Despite this apparent grammatical error, the sounds the best out of all the options. For example, “I freakily do not understand this essay,” sounds improper; “I freaking do not understand this essay,” makes perfect sense. Also, note that the same rule applies for the original, unsubstitutized form of the word.

       In addition, there are numerous words used in exclamations that are part of substitutionary language. For example, “crud”, normally referring to a build up of filth, replaces a word derived from the name Sir Thomas Crapper, inventor of the flushing toilet. “Jeez” and “Gee Wiz” are substitutes for a common exclamation replacing “Jesus!” Note that the original phrase may be viewed as blasphemy, but its derivative is not. In the same sense, “Oh, my gosh,” is often used to replace “Oh, my God.” Most people remark this without considering any polytheistic deities. It is indeed also strange in its substitutized form because there are now deities by the name of “Gosh” as yet.

       In addition to these, another amazing feat of substitutionary language is a sole event of combination. Charlie Brown, star of the Peanut Gang, could often be seen exclaiming, “shucks”. This phrase was popularized by the late comic strip artist Charles M. Schultz and his brainchild. It is indeed strange that a cartoon, often revered as quite “clean,” would be found training adults and children alike to subconsciously use a substitutized from of the two worst words in the English language. In any case, “shucks” is combination of the beginning of the second worst word and the end of the worst word, plus an S; amazingly, it is still in common use to date.

       A fellow by the name of Jim Baughman once gave a short lecture on why the water-down versions of profanity can be just as harmful as their true forms. Personally, I do not find profanity offensive, but it made me realize how foolish it can be to use the lesser words in constant use; at this time, I also began using the term, “substitutionary language.” Just as the frequent use of “like” may be viewed as an immature colloquialism, perhaps substitutionary language is limiting us from saying what we really are trying to say.