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The Big List Of Dungeon Master Wrath
OK, this is a compiled list of ways of dealing with annoying players. Roll the d% and have fun! Don't forget, you can always dock them for experience or kill them if they don't role play.
All of these can be cured by limited wish, wish, or miracle, but of course you don't have to play that way. =D
1 -- You develop a phobia of the DM's choice. Treated the same as if rebuked when in the presence what they become afraid of.
2 -- You become a hamster. Size reduced to diminutive (unarmed strike becomes 1d1, +4 AC, +4 melee bonus, melee weapons shrink with you and become d1 weapons, better weapons can be made but must be masterwork and cost 10 times normal, move speed reduced to 10 but can be carried in someone's pocket or on someone's shoulder with no weight penalty, automatically critically fail all intimidate checks, retain speech abilities but voice shifts several octaves higher, +20% arcane spell failure, -8 to strength, +2 dexterity, +2 to charisma, weapon finesse is denied to this species).
3 -- You are hit with the ugly stick. Charisma becomes 4 until Heal is cast. And yes, the ugly stick does have the ability to make some half-orcs look better.
4 -- You must now carry all of your money in copper pieces.
5 -- Roll the d4. 1, you turn blue. 2, you turn green. 3, you turn purple. 4, you turn tie-die.
6 -- You are given a bag of holding, but you must sleep in it (unlimited air supply). You must also buy a ladder if you intend to get out on your own. If you cannot afford one, you will have to rely on your friends to help you out. This does allow you to be easily "stolen."
7 -- You become the familiar of a player of the DM's choice. Does not replace player's existing familiar.
8 -- Your appearance becomes that of a troll until lesser restoration is cast. Speaking eloquently makes anyone who does not know you to roll for a will save of disbelief (DC 6) or faint from the shock.
9 -- Complete class change of DM's choice.
10 -- Strength and Wisdom switch.
11 -- Wisdom and Charisma switch.
12 -- Sudden alignment change of DM's choice.
13 -- You are given an item with an enchantment and an amusing curse, example, a +2 bow that always fires arrows backwards or a +1 longsword that will only do damage if you hit the enemy with the flat side of the blade.
14 -- Species change of DM's choice.
15 -- All your clothing becomes ethereal.
16 -- Continual flame (heatless flame) is cast on your hair. (DM chooses between facial hair or hair on your head. This persists until dispel magic is cast. This does act as a torch, giving you 30 feet of light in all directions.)
17 -- Random stranger slaps you with a large trout dealing 1d4 subdual damage and disappears without a trace. -- Thanks Dave
18 -- No matter how much cover you have for your feet, any form of floor tickles you so much that you are unable to participate in combat. Persists for 2 days.
19 -- You become monosyllabic. -- Thanks Demisane
20 -- A golf ball strikes you in the head from out of nowhere. A loud, booming voice then echoes from the heavens above: "Fore!" -- Thanks Jaimas
21 -- You believe that you are 5 feet taller than you are and behave accordingly.
22 -- A small thundercloud forms over the your head and follows them wherever they go, raining constantly. On rare occasions, it strikes people nearby, including the host, with a 1HP lightning bolt. -- Thanks Jaimas
23 -- Gender switch. This is permanent and can only be undone by limited wish, wish, miracle, or another DM Wrath.
24 -- You fall in love with a party member of the DM's choice. Can be cured by limited wish, wish, or miracle, but not by the person affected. -- Thanks Gerdef
25 -- 2 sizes smaller (height divided by 4).
26 -- Can only walk backwards (can still fight forwards, just can't advance forwards).
27 -- Oil of Slipperyness is stuck to your feet. Shoes will not stay on and walking is a reflex save of DC 20 for every 5 feet. -- Thanks Jaimas
28 -- Every step you take makes a fart noise. -- Thanks Jaimas
29 -- Cannot stop sweating. Must drink 8 glasses of water a day or suffer dehydration. -- Thanks Gerdef
30 -- Cannot stop giggling until the DM relents. -- Thanks Gerdef
31 -- Every time you look in the mirror, you become convinced that you're naked. -- Thanks Gerdef
32 -- You are teleported 20 feet in the air. Rogues, bards and monks get tumble checks DC 18. If you are inside, you are thrown into the ceiling by an unseen force, incurring the same damage. -- Thanks Jaimas
33 -- You flinch at the sound of a word of the DM's choice. -- Thanks Demisane
34 -- You sing in your sleep. -- Thanks Demisane
35 -- Your weapon becomes intelligent. However, all it does on its own will is talk back to you.
36 -- You have a wooden cat that you carry with you wherever you go and talk to it as if it were your best friend. You must narrate everything that happens to it. -- Thanks Zach
37 -- You are convinced that you are a god and must spread the word. -- Thanks Gerdef
38 -- Every time you meet someone who has blonde hair, you act like a squirrel. -- Thanks Gerdef
39 -- All spells you cast make everything in a 10 foot radius beige.
40 -- You become invisible except for your brain. -- Thanks Gerdef
41 -- At the beginning of each day roll the d20 and divide by 10. That is the multiplier for gravity that you experience for that day. Permanent effect. -- Thanks Gerdef
42 -- Ford Prefect joins your party. 10th level Rogue, 10th level Gate Crasher (like a rogue, but has a good save of Fort and Will and can open portals like a rogue can pick locks). Chaotic Neutral, but heavy emphasis on the chaotic.
43 -- Can only talk in shrieks. -- Thanks Gerdef
44 -- All equipment becomes bright pink. -- Thanks Gerdef
45 -- Pants or other leg coverings fall down. No belt will hold them up for 3 days. -- Thanks Gerdef
46 -- Every stick you find you must point north.
47 -- You must always wear your clothes inside out (armor does not apply). -- Thanks Gerdef
48 -- You get an chipmunk familiar that you call Zim. Does not replace existing familiar.
49 -- You talk in 3rd person. -- Thanks Gerdef
50 -- Simple objects become animated while you touch them. Example, a chair may push you off itself. -- Thanks Gerdef
51 -- Must perform a silly ritual (example: acrobatics) before an attack. -- Thanks Gerdef
52 -- You cannot remember your name. -- Thanks Demisane
53 -- Race changes daily to DM's choice. -- Thanks Gerdef
54 -- You become anime style (big eyes, small nose and mouth).
55 -- You go chibi (size -1, height divided by 2, and you develope a taste for candy). -- Thanks Gerdef
56 -- You hear constant laughter for 1 week. -- Thanks Gerdef
57 -- You can never enter a building through a door. -- Thanks Gerdef
58 -- Chronic incandescence for one week.
59 -- A flower grows on your head. When removed, it grows back. The flower cannot be concealed by clothing or armor. Can only be permanently removed by miracle, limited wish or wish.
60 -- You get mouth on your hand that is opposite to you in personality. -- Thanks Chris
61 -- You smell like a tasty sandwich. -- Thanks Chris
62 -- You are given and must wear goggles that make you look like a bug.
63 -- You become convinced that you smell horribly, irrelevant of whether or not you do. You must bathe twice a day to avoid embarrassement.
64 -- You are given a wild rod of wonder that you cannot get rid of. -- Thanks Gerdef
65 -- You grow a tail. -- Thanks Chris
66 -- You become terrified that your mother will find out what you've been up to, irrelevant of whether or not you've done anything. -- Thanks Gerdef
67 -- When you walk through a door, there is a 50% chance that you will walk right back out. -- Thanks Gerdef
68 -- Squirrel shower you with nuts. -- Thanks Brooke
69 -- Armor always gives you a wedgey. Cannot be cured by getting new armor.
70 -- Must wear clothing of opposite sex. -- Thanks Gerdef
71 -- You believe that you are always right.
72 -- Everything that anyone says to you counts as the spell Suggestion (DC 10). -- Thanks Gerdef
73 -- You feel the opposite of the weather you dress for. Example, you dress in an artic coat and feel cold. You wear a swimsuit and you feel like you're burning up.
74 -- Sugarplums dance in your mind. -- Thanks Mirutamoor
75 -- You a given a once per day spell-like ability that you believe to what the DM tells you what it does, even when you cast it and you see that it does something different. Wisdom check (DC 23) to figure out that it isn't what you thought it did. Spell-like ability is removed once you succeed.
76 -- Six chickens follow you at all times in phalanx formation. Chickens are invincible but cannot be used as shields. -- Thanks Dartarus
77 -- A giant bowl of tapioca falls on your head dealing 2d12 subdual damage. -- Thanks Dartarus
78 -- Joints are reversed for 1 week. -- Thanks Gerdef
79 -- Your hair and eye color changes with the color of the sky.
80 -- You become convinced that the clouds are giving you directions. -- Thanks Logic
81 -- Your party believes that you are the best fighter in the world no matter what you say. -- Thanks Logic
82 -- All NPCs refer to you and "the incident." -- Thanks Logic
83 -- You are given a cursed ring of wish.
84 -- Every time you drink anything, you have a 20% shoot it out your nose.
85 -- Your hands have oil of slipperiness. You cannot carry anything in your hand. You can have one of your friends tie a weapon to your hand.
86 -- You develope a taste for bugs. -- Thanks Logic
87 -- You faint at the sight of DM's choice. -- Thanks Gerdef
88 -- You find a mundane object of the DM's choice hilarious.
89 -- You become convinced that you're a different race. -- Thanks Gerdef
90 -- You must yell "BOING!!" after every successful hit.
91 -- You must do everything except sleep in a dance. +4 to perform checks, -4 from diplomacy checks, -8 from intimidate checks.
92 -- You and 1 or more friends switch bodies. -- Thanks Gerdef
93 -- If you take a critical hit with an arrow, it goes through your head and stays there but deals no damage and has no effect other than appearance. Removing the arrow deals 1d8 damage to you. This only works for one arrow.
94 -- The party "discovers" a landmine. Upon stepping on it, the landmine releases a gas that makes all party members itch for 5d6 rounds, no save. -- Thanks Brooke and Adam
95 -- You grow a beard. If you already have a beard, your beard grows 5 feet longer.
96 -- You must finish every sentance with the phrase "In accordance with the prophecy."
97 -- You must go on a quest to find a block of cheese.
98 -- Water makes you drunk and alcohol makes you sober.
99 -- Nothing happens, but the DM just smiles evily at you. Note to DM: You should make it a point to smile evily and not tell them the effects of things until they encounter the effects often.
100 -- DM's choice.
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