Bobby Jr.
limped out to the ring with a striped shirt on and two straps in his hands. Magnum
managed to slide a last-minute change into his match by adding Bobby Jr. as the guest
referee, but with the way he's been treating Bobby lately that might not have been
such a good idea. Minion slowly entered the ring with his arms crossed and extended
both of them out for Bobby Jr. to strap up. Magnum's music exploded over the loud
speakers and out came the king of heels. He got in the ring and tried getting all
buddy-buddy with Bobby Jr., but Bobby quickly wrapped the straps around Magnum's
wrists and started the match. Magnum attempted to keep space between himself and
Minion, but all it took was one giant tug on the straps to send Magnum catapulting
towards Minion's fist. Minion wrapped both the straps around Magnum's forearms and
headbutted him until his forehead began bleeding. Minion loosened the straps and
waited for Magnum to stand up again. Magnum got up and tried to run away but Minion
used the straps to redirect Magnum right into a tree. Minion lifted Magnum off the
ground and went into a helicopter spin that levitated Magnum above the mat. With
the outward momentum on his side, Minion slinged Magnum right up against the fence
and watched as his opponent crawled up the entrance ramp. Minion pulled on the straps
and dragged Magnum back to the ring. As he stood looking down on his opponent, Minion
was kicked right in the balls by Magnum. Magnum hopped up and delivered a 60-yard
field goal kick once again to Minion's genitalias that left the monster on his knees
in agony. With Minion off his feet, Magnum grabbed his head and drove it right into
his knee numerous times. Magnum wrapped Minion up for a pin, but Bobby Jr. made
an extremely slow count. Magnum shouted in Bobby Jr.'s face telling the man to do
his job or don't do it at all. Bobby Jr. listened to what he said and decided to
not do his job. He took off the referee jersey and started to walk out. Magnum
apologized and begged for him to reconsider. At that moment, Minion yanked on the
straps and sent Magnum right into the bottom of his boot. The big boot dazed Magnum
and gave Minion enough time to lift Magnum off the ground and right into his Buried
Alive piledriver. Magnum was knocked out cold as Bobby Jr. got down and made the
3-count to make Minion the victor. Bobby Jr. raised Minion's arm and congratulated
him on his win. The two men walked away as Magnum laid in the ring asking when the
next Summer Olympics would be held in Alaska. (The CAT Scan taken on Magnum proved
he did not suffer a concussion from this match, but that his brain was the same size
as an average chimpanzee.)
Social
Anarchy came to the ring intense about there shots at finally becoming the Tag Team
Champions. The Champions, Big Mac and Al Bino, came to the ring sporting their WYDW
Tag Team titles. The big man, Apocalypse, started for Social Anarchy and Big Mac
began for the champs. As the bell sounded, Big Mac ran at Apocalypse only to be
leveled by a big boot to the face. Quick to follow his kick, Apocalypse lifted Big
Mac into a spinning side slam and then locked him in a camel clutch. Seeing his
partner in trouble early, Al Bino ran in and clotheslined Apocalypse off of his partner.
Both Al Bino and Big Mac worked on Apocalypse with stomps and kicks. Taz made an
attempt to save his partner but the referee made him stay in his corner. Al Bino
stayed in the ring and continued his assault on Apocalypse by nailing him with a
vicious belly-to-belly suplex. Al Bino kept up the punishment with relentless elbows
to the head, and finally a sleeper hold. Apocalypse was able to stand up, with Al
Bino on his back, and walk all the way to his corner to tag in Taz. While Al Bino
was still on Apocalypse's back, Taz came behind and grabbed his head. Then as Apocalypse
fell straight back, Taz performed a neckbreaker on Al Bino. Taz then got down on
one knee, grabbed Al Bino's head, and pounded his fist into Al Bino's face. Big
Mac made a run-in save before Taz beat Al Bino into submission. As Big Mac turned
to go back to his corner, Taz spun him around and laid him out with a facebuster.
Taz tagged in Apocalypse and Apocalypse went right to Al Bino and locked him in
a camel clutch as Taz did a baseball slide right into Al Bino's face. Apocalypse
released the hold and picked up the bloodied Al Bino. After executing a monster
sambo suplex, Apocalypse threw Al Bino into his own corner and dared Big Mac to come
in. Big Mac made the tag and the two men went toe-to-toe throwing hard punches at
each other. Big Mac began to slow down under the barrage of rights from Apocalypse.
A short-arm clothesline took the original playa, Big Mac, down hard. A tag was
made to Taz as Apocalypse held Big Mac in a standing armbar, allowing Taz to deliver
a hard shot to Big Mac's ribs. The True Main Event then locked on another armbar
and tagged the big man back in for a shot to Big Mac's kidneys. A series of quick
tags by Social Anarchy had Big Mac dazed and hurting. Taz and Big Mac were the legal
men as Taz locked Big Mac up for a Showstopper, but Big Mac somehow shifted all his
weight back and reversed Taz's move into a Mac Attack. With both men down, their
partners screamed for a tag. Big Mac tagged Al Bino with enough time for Al Bino
to cut Taz off from tagging in Apocalypse. Al Bino then threw out all his wrestling
manuevers and proceeded to pound the hell out of Taz with knees, elbows, fists, and
any other part of his body. Al Bino put his head under Taz's arm for a northern
lights suplex, but Taz locked Al Bino in a reverse headlock and hit him with five
straight knees to the face. Taz made the tag to Apocalypse but Apocalypse was not
able to stop Al Bino from tagging in Big Mac. All four men were now in the ring
going head-to-head. Al Bino and Taz were bloodying each other with straight punches
as Big Mac took Apocalypse down and hit him with a trademark elbow drop. Al Bino
turned his attention to Apocalypse as he and Big Mac hit a double belly-to-back suplex.
They picked Apocalypse up again and tried for a double vertical suplex, but Apocalypse
wouldn't budge. He ended up lifting both of them off the ground and delivered two
inverted DDTs. The big man then crushed Al Bino with a back breaker and held him
as Taz soared out of nowhere with a huge guillotine legdrop that nearly broke Al
Bino in half. After executing their Armageddon finisher on Al Bino, Big Mac tried
to grab a chair from ringside and attack Apocalypse from behind. Right as Big Mac
was about to clobber Apocalypse from behind, the big man quickly dropped to the ground
and -*WHAM*- allowed Taz to deliver his Lights Out to Big Mac. The nearly unconscious
Big Mac stumbled back and fell right into the Hangman. Apocalypse made Big Mac and
submit and Social Anarchy became the NEW Tag Team Champions.
Music
blasted as Ranger X entered with a whole bag of weapons to choose. He had everything
from a bat, to a frisbee, to a megaphone, to a CD, even a remote control. FNA came
out with nothing more than the Hardcore title belt in one hand and a 350 Proof watermelon
tucked under his other arm. Before the match began, FNA cut a piece out of the watermelon
and mentally prepared himself with a little buzz. Ranger X started the match with
a 3-foot ruler and cracked it over FNA's head. FNA laughed in a masochistic way
and told Ranger X to bring on the pain. Ranger X dug deeper into his bag and pulled
out an old school Nintendo. He took a running start and dented the piss out of the
Nintendo. FNA's head looked like it was about to gush open but he still stood there
laughing at Ranger X's attempts. FNA told Ranger X that he had one strike before
he got his @$$ kicked. Ranger X grabbed a tennis racket and right before he unloaded
on FNA, FNA took the watermelon and shattered it across Ranger X's head. Ranger
X was on the ground all sticky and smelling like booze. While Ranger X tried to
remove all the watermelon seeds from his face, FNA went over and dumped all of Ranger
X's weapons. He dumped most of them in the neighboring yard and broke what was breakable.
FNA circled around Ranger X kicking him and reminding him that "FNA IS THE
HARDCORE DIVISION" and that there wouldn't even be a hardcore title if not for
FNA. Ranger X made a joke about FNA talking about himself in third person and FNA
got very offended. He stated that nobody makes fun of FNA to his face and then kicked
the fool out of Ranger X's head. Ranger X could barely crawl around the ring after
the blow he took to his skull. He managed to make it all the way to his weapons
pile and had the choice of either a frisbee, a pillow, or a dictionary to use. Ranger
X took the pillow of all weapons and bashed it across FNA's knee. The shot let out
a loud metallic ring as FNA collapsed on the ground in pain. Ranger X continued
to pound on FNA's fragile ankle until he finally got enough equilibrium to stand
back up. Ranger X ripped the pillow open and dumped out all of its padding along
with a well-hidden waffle iron. He picked up the waffle iron and clocked FNA a couple
of times in the head with it until FNA started bleeding. After that, Ranger X took
a chair and wedged FNA's ankle in between it. A ladder was stood up next to FNA
and Ranger X ascended up it with a chair in his hands. He reached the top of the
ladder and jumped off. On the way down he put the folded chair underneath his feet
and rode it like a skateboard until it smashed on top of FNA's ankle and the sound
of broken bones was heard by all watching. FNA's already injured ankle was cripple
once again. Ranger X wrapped FNA up as tight as he could and got the 1-2-3 to become
the NEW Hardcore Champion. (UPDATE ~ FNA's ankle was not broken, but he did suffer
from torn cartilage. He's not expected back anytime soon.)
Mr.Magic
strutted to the ring with his baseball cap and MAGIC vest with one thing on his mind;
revenge. After losing the Tag Team titles due to a Dakota Dick no show, and then
losing the Heavyweight title due to Dakota Dick's involvement, Mr.Magic wanted nothing
more than to kick Dakota's @$$ and prove to everyone that his win over Dakota Dick
at "Battle of the Bulge" was no fluke. Dakota Dick entered the ring in
classic form. He had his cowboy hat waving about and his red bat comfortably between
his legs like a pony. Dakota Dick yelled out all this cowboy gibberish and infuriated
Mr.Magic. Before the ref could even start the match the two competitors were at
each other's throats. Mr.Magic had tackled Dakota Dick to the ground and was strangling
him with his vest. The referee finally got in and broke the choke up as Mr.Magic
began punching the fool out of Dakota. Dakota Dick was smart enough to block most
of the shots with his forearms which gave himself a chance to fight back. As soon
as Mr.Magic started to slow down, Dakota Dick threw him off and returned the favor.
Dakota Dick unmercifully pounded on Mr.Magic's head. He elbowed him, punched him,
kicked him, and even spit in his face. Dakota Dick rolled off of Mr.Magic and waited
for his attack. Mr.Magic came barrelling towards him with a clothesline, so Dakota
Dick precisely ducked down and caught Mr.Magic with a samoan drop. Dakota went for
a quick pin, but Mr.Magic kicked out. Mr.Magic slowly got up and looked just in
time to see Dakota Dick charging at him with an elbow. Dakota Dick went for the
knockout blow but Mr.Magic barely dodged it and surprised Dakota Dick with a neckbreaker.
Dakota Dick recovered quickly but couldn't move quick enough to evade the Disappearing
Act by Mr.Magic. Dakota Dick was laid out flat on his back, so Mr.Magic got his
legs and tried to apply the figure-4 to him. Mr.Magic did not lock the move on fast
enough and Dakota Dick took the opportunity to mule kick Mr.Magic right in the chest.
The kick knocked the breath out of Mr.Magic and sent him panicking all over the
ring. He was gasping for air as the referee went over to calm him down, but Dakota
Dick tossed the ref out of the way and kicked Mr.Magic right in the ribs. Dakota
Dick knew that Mr.Magic was just acting in an attempt to take out the referee. He
lifted Mr.Magic off the ground and delivered a snap suplex. Mr.Magic was grasping
his back as Dakota Dick continued the beating. As Dakota Dick went to pull Mr.Magic
off the mat he was punched right in the family jewels. With the offense on his side,
Mr.Magic ran at Dakota Dick and went for a vertical body press. The bewildered Dakota
Dick timed his reversal perfectly and used Mr.Magic's own momentum to execute a spinning
sidewalk slam. Dakota Dick attempted a pin but Mr.Magic gouged his eyes and broke
the hold. As Dakota Dick stood up and tried to regain sight, Mr.Magic ran to the
outside and grabbed a chair. The referee tried to stop Mr.Magic and received a nasty
backhanded slap. Mr.Magic waited till Dakota Dick turned his way and right as he
did he leveled him with the chair. Dakota Dick fell back as blood started dripping
down his face. Mr.Magic accepted the disqualification and was on his way out when
Dakota Dick stood back up with rage in his eyes. He sprinted towards Mr.Magic and
tackled him from behind. Dakota Dick locked Mr.Magic in a full nelson and dragged
him all the way back to the ring. Once he got inside the ring he let go of the hold
and watched as Mr.Magic fell to his knees and begged Dakota Dick to just let him
go unharmed. Dakota Dick kicked Mr.Magic square in the jaw and then hoisted him
up for a Dick Drop. Dakota Dick put all his power into it and splattered Mr.Magic
on the mat. The referee got down for a pin, but Dakota Dick lifted Mr.Magic back
up. With all his might, Dakota Dick delivered another Dick Drop on Mr.Magic. Once
again, the referee was ready to make a pin but Dakota Dick did not allow it. He
scraped Mr.Magic off the mat and executed yet another Dick Drop. At his point, Mr.Magic
wasn't moving. The referee asked Dakota Dick to please just end the match, but Dakota
got in his face and said, "Just one more." So, Dakota Dick used all the
energy he had left to lift the heavy, lifeless body of Mr.Magic and Dick Drop it
one more time to pick up the pin.
The sound
of loggers yelling "TIMBER" meant only one thing, Lumberjack was ready
to fight. He came out with more focus in his eyes than ever before. Lumberjack
wanted nothing more than to become the Heavyweight Champion, the most coveted claim
of them all, and to prove to everyone that he is the best wrestler in the WYDW.
Apocalypse's music blasted from the speakers and entered the champion with both of
his belts raised high. Just earlier in the day, Apocalypse and Taz defeated Al Bino
and Big Mac to become the new Tag Team Champions, but the question is how well will
Apocalypse defend his title after already fighting one match earlier? The referee
brought both men into the ring and explained the rules as they stared one another
down. Apocalypse finally broke the ice by saying, "Lumberjack, you never have
beaten me, and you never will beat me, so let's just hurry up and get my victory
over with." Lumberjack charged at Apocalypse and kneed him right in the mid-section.
He grabbed onto the champion's head and slammed it repeatedly into his knees. Apocalypse
stumbled around the ring before regaining his composure. Lumberjack came charging
at Apocalypse once again with a knee but Apocalypse lifted his leg in time and booted
Lumberjack right in 'la boca'. Lumberjack jerked back providing Apocalypse enough
time for a hard clothesline. Lumberjack was on his back when Apocalypse grabbed
his hair and tried to lift him off the mat. With a quick side sweep, Lumberjack
had Apocalypse on the ground and locked in a longbow backbreaker. He was cranking
back on Apocalypse until the big man haphazardly flinged his arm back and popped
Lumberjack right in the face. Both men were on the mat recuperating and Apocalypse
was the first to return to his feet. He walked over to Lumberjack and positioned
him for a reverse DDT. Right as he went to drop, Lumberjack flipped himself over
Apocalypse's back and trapped the champion in a dragon sleeper. Lumberjack cranked
so hard on Apocalypse's neck that he almost had the big man passed out. Apocalypse
pulled his knee up quickly and smashed Lumberjack right between the eyes which broke
the hold. Since Lumberjack was down, Apocalypse wanted to share his pain by stretching
out Lumberjack's back and neck with a camel clutch. Lumberjack's face was changing
to a shade of purple and in a last ditch effort he began kicking his feet and drilled
his peel right into Apocalypse's spine. Apocalypse rolled off Lumberjack holding
his back, as Lumberjack tried to capitalize on the big man's weakness. Lumberjack
delivered three standing Sequoia Splash onto Apocalypse's back and went for a pin,
but the big man kicked out. As Apocalypse slowly stood back up, Lumberjack continued
to punch and kick him. Right as Lumberjack was about to deliver a double axe-handle,
Apocalypse reached his arm out and wrapped his hand around Lumberjack's throat.
He began choking Lumberjack in an effort to wear him out. Once Lumberjack was weakened
enough, Apocalypse went for a chokeslam. As he lifted Lumberjack off the ground,
Lumberjack wrapped his legs around Apocalypse's arm and took him down with a strong
armbar. Apocalypse kept trying to free his arm, but every time he tried he was kicked
in the face. He finally got enough strength to just lift Lumberjack off the mat
and slam him back down on it. The move released Apocalypse's arm but left him at
an advantage. Lumberjack dropkicked Apocalypse's arm and then drilled his knee right
into the elbow joint. Apocalypse was down on his knees when Lumberjack went for
the big finish. He set the champion up for the Log Jam and right as he decided to
execute, Apocalypse lifted him off the ground and sent him crashing onto the mat
with a front pancake. Both men were totally exhausted and trying their hardest just
to stand. Apocalypse recovered first, and seeing Lumberjack still winded, he decided
to go for a huge powerbomb. As he went to lift Lumberjack, he was swept off his
feet and wrapped up in a texas cloverleaf. Lumberjack applied the move so quickly
that Apocalypse didn't have time to brace himself. The hold stretched Apocalypse's
back to the limit as Lumberjack completely sat down on his back. The referee got
down and waited to hear Apocalypse submit, but he wouldn't quit. He managed to twist
his body enough so that the pain wasn't unbearable. Lumberjack finally got tired
of waiting for Apocalypse to submit so he released the hold and set things up for
his finisher. He brought a chair into the ring and climbed up on it. As Apocalypse
returned to his feet and backed up enough, Lumberjack leapt off the chair to execute
his Timber bulldog. Apocalypse saw the move coming and right as Lumberjack got over
his shoulder he locked him in a half nelson and slammed him onto the mat. Due to
Lumberjack's own momentum the move was twice as damaging. Apocalypse pulled the
aching Lumberjack off the ground and lifted him for the Hangman DDT. Lumberjack
dangled upside down for a little while to get the blood flowing and then Apocalypse
dropped him right on his skull for the finish. He wrapped both of Lumberjack's legs
and barely got the 1-2-3 as Lumberjack almost made a last second kickout.