For every
wrestler in WYDW, "Parental Advisory" represents all that they've fought
over for the past two years. It's the culmination of a year's work packed into one
night, and it's always a night to remember. After tonight, however, everything will
change. No title left unclaimed, no mystery left unanswered, for this is the end
of WYDW.
The special
referee/enforcer of the match walked out sober and wearing a shirt that read 'I get
paid to kick people's @$$.' He stepped inside the ring and flagged off every fan
in the arena, but they loved every minute of it. Big Mac was fired up as he sprinted
to the ring and slid inside. He shook FNA's hand and then prepared himself to face
Asylum. The champ shuffled down the entrance ramp with the Hardcore belt around
his waist and brought with him a cane pole in each hand. FNA called for the bell
and the match began. Big Mac ran across the ring and dove headfirst through the
ropes, but Asylum dodged the attack and let his opponent smack face-first onto the
concrete. The madman was slaughtering Big Mac by continuously slashing him across
the back with the cane poles. Big Mac's shirt was already getting shredded into
pieces and the match had only been going on for about three minutes. Since it was
a hardcore match, FNA had to idly stand by and watch as Big Mac got massacred. The
mack managed to sweep Asylum off his feet and steal one of the cane poles. Both
men were on their feet waiting for the other to make a move, then all of a sudden,
they began smacking one another repeatedly. Big Mac nailed Asylum in the head with
the cane pole and then tackled him to the ground. The psycho was scratching Big
Mac's face and gouging his eyes as the true pimp had him wrapped in a figure-4 leglock.
Asylum somehow dragged himself close enough to the weapons pile to get his hands
on a wet floor sign and launched the plastic projectile right at Big Mac's face.
The edge of the weapon drove bluntly into Big Mac's forehead and busted the pretty-boy
wide open. The shot broke Big Mac's hold and allowed Asylum to grab a trash can
from the pile. Big Mac was on one knee wiping the blood off his face when Asylum
leveled him with the trash can. Big Mac was laid out and Asylum went for a pin,
but could only get a 2-count. Big Mac was still in it despite having a gash in his
forehead and several cuts across his back. Asylum tossed three chairs into the ring
and then rolled Big Mac inside. The maniac grabbed Big Mac and delivered a different
suplex onto each one of the chairs. The last suplex he delivered was a tiger suplex
right onto the edge of the chair. Big Mac was struggling to move as Asylum dragged
him over to the turnbuckle and propped him up against it. He grabbed Big Mac by
the hair and then one after the other delivered head-butts to Big Mac's forehead.
The lunatic's face was covered in his opponent's blood and he was wiping it all
over. Asylum's solid white straightjacket was now covered in red and resembled a
butcher's apron. However, that wasn't enough for him, he wanted more blood. Asylum
picked up one of the chairs and blasted Big Mac across the skull with it. As Big
Mac limply hung on the top rope, Asylum ran across the ring and was about to deliver
and running chair smash, but right as he went to smash in Big Mac's cranium, the
mack lifted his legs and rammed the chair back into Asylum's face. The impact of
the kick and the momentum of Asylum's body sent the psycho sliding under the ropes
and slamming against the hard floor at ringside. As Asylum painfully laid on his
back outside the ring, Big Mac slowly climbed to the top rope with a chair in his
hands and executed a rib-crushing ollie with the chair. Asylum was rolling on the
outside in unbearable pain as Big Mac searched through the weapons pile for the perfect
weapon. Not only did he find the item he was looking for, but he also found a wall-size
mirror. He slid the mirror into the ring and then used the lead pipe he found to
soften Asylum up for the grand finale. Big Mac was bludgeoning Asylum and finally
tossed his opponent back inside the ring for his finisher. Big Mac stood Asylum
up for the Mac Attack, but the Hardcore Champ anticipated the move and sent Big Mac
flying over his back with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Asylum quickly jumped
on his opponent and wrapped his arms for the Straightjacket. Right as Asylum went
to perform his finisher, Big Mac suddenly reversed the move into an implant DDT and
drove the madman face-first into the mirror. The maniac's face shattered the mirror
into thousands of shards of glass, many of which pierced Asylum's skin and were driven
deep into his skull. Big Mac rolled over his deformed opponent and wrapped him up
for the 1-2-3 pin count by FNA. FNA handed Big Mac the Hardcore Championship belt
and congratulated him on his first-ever singles title.
For Big
Mac, he succeeded in his goal and was finished, but not FNA. The hardcore punk had
unfinished business with Asylum and was going to pay him back for nearly drowning
him over a month ago. FNA took barbwire and wrapped it around his forearm as Big
Mac lifted Asylum up and propped him in the turnbuckle. FNA took a running start
and finished Asylum off with a hemorrhaging Hangover clothesline that further disfigured
Asylum's face with the barbwire. The wrestler who was known for his extremely pale
complexion hung crucified in the corner of the ring with a face resembling raw meat
more than white skin.
The Environmental
Destruction Agency walked to the ring more confident than ever. They stared at the
tables standing around the ring and they knew that they were about to become the
4-time WYDW Tag Team Champions. The Fallen Angels' music played over the loud speakers
and all the lights went off inside the arena. They only sign of the Fallen Angels
entering the arena was the sound of chains being dragged down the entrance ramp and
toward the ring. As the lights came back on, the noise was revealed to be Badland's
chains and got the attention of both E.D.A members. The only problem was that Badland
was the only Horseman they saw. Death stood tall behind Lumberjack and surprise
attacked him. Badland's diversion worked as Death launched Lumberjack out of the
ring and nearly put him through one of the tables at ringside. Ranger X ran and
speared Death right in the lower back, bringing the monster down, but before he could
do anything else he was struck from behind with Badland's chains. Badland wrapped
his chains around Ranger X's throat and began strangling him while Death was on the
outside of the ring duking it out with Lumberjack. Ranger X used all his energy
to quickly break free from the chains and sweep Badland off his feet. On the outside,
Death had Lumberjack locked in a double-handed chokehold and was about to slam him
through a table when the woodsman drilled his knee right into Death's face. Death
released his hold and fell flat on his back. Lumberjack immediately locked Death
in the texas cloverleaf and wrenched his body to the breaking point. Death pounded
on Lumberjack until the King of Quit finally let go of his hold, but Lumberjack managed
to injure the monster's knee in the process. Inside the ring, Ranger X flipped Badland
onto his head with a hurricanrana and then climbed the turnbuckle. Before he could
jump off, Badland shoved him off the top rope and sent him crashing down on Lumberjack
and Death. Both members of E.D.A recovered quickly and ganged up on Death until
Badland executed a suicide dive out of the ring and onto his opponents. All four
participants were slowly returning to their feet when Death locked his death grip
on Ranger X. Death still had a huge grudge to finish with Ranger X and this was
his chance to end it. Ranger X was beginning to pass out from the lack of oxygen
when Lumberjack got behind Death and bashed his skull in with an axe-handle. Death
went limp and fell flat on his face as blood began oozing out the side of his mask.
Badland came after Lumberjack with his chains but the woodsman easily side-stepped
the attack and took Badland down with a longbow backbreaker. Lumberjack had Badland
bent to the max and Ranger X was stomping on the masked man. Lumberjack released
the hold and used Badland's chains to assault Badland himself. The Fallen Angel
was getting lashed across the back with the chains and finally Lumberjack wrapped
them around Badland's neck and dragged his sorry @$$ over to a table. E.D.A was
setting Badland up for elimination, but things didn't go their way. Badland was
thrown onto the table and Lumberjack held him there with the chains, but as Ranger
X climbed the turnbuckle to execute his Sure Thing out of the ring, Death somehow
got back up and tossed the ranger off the top rope, barely missing a table at ringside.
Lumberjack wrapped Badland's chains around his fist and started wailing on Death
with hard right hands. As Lumberjack grew tired from throwing so many punches, Death
seemed unfazed. He powerfully lifted Lumberjack up and drilled him head-first onto
the concrete with the Last Judgment. Lumberjack was knocked out cold as blood seeped
from the top of his head. Death carried Lumberjack's motionless body over to a table
and draped his across it. Badland was aware of the setup and grabbed a crowbar he
had hidden underneath the ring. The black leather killer held the crowbar with the
pointed end down and planned on stabbing it straight through the woodsman's heart,
but as he leapt off the ring apron, Lumberjack rolled out of the way and Badland
drove the crowbar right into the table. Badland tried pulling his crowbar out of
the table, but it was permanently wedged in there. Ranger X came out of nowhere
and speared Badland right in the kidneys as Lumberjack took down Death with a single
leg crab. The dead man's knee got stretched like silly putty and Lumberjack didn't
let go until he felt the knee rip apart. Death let out a horrible yell and rolled
on the outside holding his knee in severe agony. With Death physically out of the
way, Lumberjack joined Ranger X to help eliminate Badland. They tossed their black
masked foe into the ring and then set up a table right in the middle. Ranger X took
Badland down with a spinning DDT and then they tossed him up on the table. Lumberjack
climbed on top of the table and wrapped Badland up for the Log Jam. He jumped about
two feet off the table and sent Badland shattering through it with a spiked Log Jam.
Badland's neck snapped like a twig and his broken body laid in the ring like just
another piece of splintered wood. Death was still lying at ringside trying to stand
up on the knee Lumberjack destroyed, when E.D.A came flying off the top ropes with
their Total Destruction finisher. Death couldn't move as Lumberjack and Ranger X
pulled his corpse up off the hard floor and slammed it down on top of a table. Lumberjack
pressed his axe-handle across Death's throat and had the monster pinned down while
Ranger X stood up a chair diagonal to the ring corner. The ranger gave his double-armed
"X" signal and then ran across the ring, sprung off the chair onto the
turnbuckle, and went flying in the air with his Sure Thing body splash. He landed
flat on Death's stomach and sent the table exploding into a hundred wood chips.
As Death laid there on top of the broken table, Ranger X laughed his head off. The
Environmental Destruction Agency were once again the Tag Team Champions and proved
that without a doubt they are the most dominant tag team EVER in WYDW history.
As Lumberjack
grabbed E.D.A's newly-acquired title belts, Ranger X got down in Death's face and
said, "Hey b!~ch, can you hear me? Huh? Did it look familiar when I came crashing
down on you and drove your sorry @$$ through the table? Well it did to me. It was
on April 7, 2000, that I fought this pudwacker in the First Round of the Battle of
the Bulge Tournament. After that match, we never saw his sorry @$$ again, or at
least not his face. Ain't that right, Morgan?!?" Ranger X ripped the skeleton
mask off Death's head and revealed his true identity as the former-referee on steroids,
Morgan. Morgan's face was bloody and bruised, but still recognizable. Every breath
he took sounded like marbles were rolling around in his chest, and that is a sure
sign of one thing, the sign of death. Morgan's body jerked awkwardly and blood spurt
out of his mouth as he took one last breath and fell into a slumber. Ranger X closed
Morgan's eyes and then walked away with the Tag Team title belt wrapped around his
waist. Lumberjack and Ranger X stood at the top of the entrance ramp and raised
their belts high in the air as they became the most decorated tag team in WYDW history.
The only
non-Horsemen match of the night, involved the wrestlers who had developed a rivalry
over the past two months all because of a girl. Magnum wanted nothing more than
to return to the days of old when he and Mr. Magic would strut their stuff for the
ladies and 9 out of 10 times got some booty for it, but ever since Mr. Magic got
a girlfriend, all that changed. Mr. Magic became a one-woman man and put his playa
ways behind him. That drove a wedge between the two men and inevitable split up
the most popular tag team in WYDW, the Lady Killers! Magnum ran around the ring
as his music played and kissed almost every single female in the front row. He even
got one girl's digits and autographed another's breast. His horny displays were
abruptly ended by Mr. Magic's music and out came the former-Lady Killer. Mr. Magic
carried a golf club with him and a tee, but had no intentions of playing 18-holes.
The fans reached out to caress his muscles, but the magic man wanted nothing to
do with them. As he stepped inside the ring, the ref rang the bell and started the
match. Mr. Magic paced inside the ring for a few seconds and then suddenly handed
Magnum the golf club. Magnum had no idea what was going through Mr. Magic's mind,
but he got the idea when his former-partner set his head on top of the tee and yelled,
"HIT ME! Put me out of my misery!!" Magnum refused to bash Mr. Magic's
brains in and demanded to know what was wrong. Mr. Magic snatched the club out of
Magnum's hand and said, "You want to know what's wrong? I've gotten my @$$
kicked by Asylum, Death, and Badland all month long and for that my woman left me.
That's what's wrong!" Mr. Magic screamed bloody murder and started pounding
himself in the forehead with the golf club. Magnum ripped the club out of his grasp
and told him, "Don't you realize why you lost to those three all month long?
You lost because you allowed that b!~ch to take over your life and forced you to
betray those who would sacrifice themselves to save you. All this month I've been
trying to find someone to replace you, and do you know what I found out, you can't
be replaced. You're Mr. Magic, the stud, the magic one, the muscles, the lady killer,
and most importantly, my best friend. I know you thought you were in love and that
she was the one girl for you, but let me point something out. Every girl in this
crowd tonight worships you and would do anything to become that one girl, so it's
her loss, not yours." Mr. Magic smiled as a couple of the ladies at ringside
flashed him and tossed their bras into the ring. Magnum turned to him and said,
"So what do you say, friend? Are you a Lady Killer or not?" Mr. Magic
quickly responded, "You're damn right I am! Let's go get some lovin'."
The Lady Killers' music blared throughout the arena and the reunited duo shook their
@$$es over to the fine-looking women at ringside and then took them backstage for
some locker room love.
The first
ever bat match began with the challenger coming to the ring first. Taz's music blasted
as he stepped out from the back to a huge pop from the crowd. The True Main Event
entered the ring and looked up at the red bat hanging 15 feet above the arena. The
longest reigning champion in the history of the WYDW entered next, but before he
could walk the ramp into the ring Taz was all over him. Taz attacked him with hard
roundhouse kicks to ribs, thighs, and back of Dakota Dick. Showing no effects from
the broken ankle that kept him out of action for six weeks, Taz lept up on the fence
and delivered a jump kick to Dakota Dick's head. Having the champ laid out on the
ramp, Taz grabbed the ladder and immediatley headed for the ring to get the bat.
But as Taz threw the ladder into the ring, Dakota Dick grabbed him and slammed his
head into the ring apron. It was the hardcore cowboy's turn to inflict some damage
as he rammed Taz's head over and over into the apron of the ring. Dick then picked
up a dizzy Taz and dropped him with a samoan drop on to the floor outside of the
ring. The champ then turned his attention towards retrieving the bat from high above
the ring. Dakota Dick climbed up on to the ring and was about to finally step through
the ropes until Taz jumped up and kicked the middle rope into Dakota's Dick. The
True Main Event then jumped on to the apron grabbed Dakota Dick's head and jumped
off executing a face buster from the ring to the floor outside. A busted open Dakota
Dick lay face down on the floor as Taz tried to get his own bearings back. Finally,
Taz entered the ring and began setting up the ladder. Dakota slowly climbed into
the ring himself as Taz began to climb for the bat. Dick grabbed Taz from behind
and did a reverse DDT from the middle of the ladder to the mat. Dakota began beating
on a downed Taz with punches to the head and chest. Both wrestlers were now busted
open and bleeding as the champion began his ascent to the bat. Taz grabbed the ladder
and began tipping it over while Dick was still climbing. The ladder fell and the
champ dropped neck first onto the ropes, bouncing back into the middle of the ring.
Taz threw the ladder outside and went out to retrieve a table from ringside. Taz
brought the table in and put it in the middle of the ring. He picked up Dakota Dick
and bounced off of the ropes as Dick ran towards Taz, The True Main Event hip tossed
Dick, but the champ made a full flip in the air landing on his feet on top of the
table. Dick pulled Taz onto the table and put him in position for a pile driver through
the table, but Taz low blowed Dakota and sent Dick crashing through the table with
a Showstopper. Taz slowly crawled outside to retrieve the ladder, as he climbed back
in he began beating Dakota Dick with the ladder. Taz the put the ladder on the champion's
throat and pushed down until Dick was blue in the face. The True Main Event began
setting the ladder up to grab the bat. Taz climbed all the way to the top rung only
to have Dakota Dick throw a piece of the shattered table at him. The shot did not
knock Taz off but he was wobbly at the top of the ladder. Dakota Dick climbed up
the same side as Taz, grabbed by the waist and Dick Dropped him from the top of the
ladder all the way to the ring below. Both fighters were down in the ring with Taz
not moving at all. Dakota began to climb for the bat and he got it. Now all the champion
had to do was use the bat to render Taz unable to get up and Dakota Dick would remain
the WYDW champion. Dakota Dick began beating on a still laid out Taz as he pounded
Taz's ribs and anything else he could. On one swing, Taz grabbed the bat and was
able to sweep the champions legs out from under him. Dakota Dick was quick to his
feet but The True Main Event now had the bat. Taz came running towards Dick ready
for the a homerun swing that would end the match. Dakota ducked, turned and dropped
Taz with a Stampede bulldog. Knowing he had this match won Dick grabbed the bat and
taunted the crowd. He picked up a dazed Taz and threw him into the ropes. Then,
he took off running towards Taz using the bat as a clothesline, Taz ducked under
turned and unleashed the Lights Out in the direction of Dakota Dick's head. Seeing
the kick coming at him Dakota quickly raised the bat to block the finisher. Amazingly
Taz's power behind his move was so much that he kicked through the bat shattering
it and Dakota Dick's jaw at the same time. The crowd was in silence amazed by what
they had seen, but Taz was not done. Just like the other WYDW superstars he was going
to finish his opponent for good and take back the WYDW. Sliding outside the ring,
Taz found the top part of the bat that he just kicked through. The True Main Event
stuck the sharp end into the ground leaving the blunt end of the bat sticking up.
He pulled Dakota Dick's half conscious body out of the ring and set him up for an
unbelivable finish. Much like the Dick Drop Taz took onto the ground the last time
he fought Dakota Dick, Taz put the Champion into position, raised his arms into the
air, lifted Dakota and Dick Dropped him back first onto the bat sticking up from
the ground. The loud crack of Dakota Dick hitting the bat ignited the crowd as The
True Main Event became a two-time WYDW Champion. Taz raised the belt into the air,
he brought the title back home and made sure Dakota Dick would never wrestle again.
After Dakota
Dick's paralyzed body was removed from the ring area, Apocalypse headed to the ring.
It turned out his Horsemen weren't the "strongest" after all. The big
man stepped inside the ring and demanded Reverend Robert to come out. "You
might have taken my titles, and you might have destroyed my Horsemen, but there is
no f*~king way you're leaving this building alive. Get out here you little piece
of $#!+. It's time to meet your maker." Rev. Robert walked out smiling and
stopped about halfway down the entrance ramp. He looked straight at Apocalypse and
asked, "How stupid do you think I am? Did you actually think I would step inside
the ring with you and fight? You'd kill me! But, if you want to fight me that bad,
then you're going to have to fight my friends as well, and for the record, the Lord
has blessed me with MANY friends." Out came the 4-time Tag Team Champions,
E.D.A, the newly crowned Hardcore Champion, Big Mac, and the 2-time Heavyweight Champion,
Taz. It didn't end there, though; following them were the reunited Lady Killers
and a sober FNA. All seven men stood in front of Rev. Robert with their arms folded
and the reverend asked Apocalypse, "Just how strong are you?" Apocalypse
psychotically jumped out of the ring and attempted to take on all seven men. They
pounded on him in a homicidal fashion and threw him back in the ring. Apocalypse
swung in every direction, but for every punch he landed, twenty were received. The
big man had no chance against the bloodthirsty mob that was beating his tyrannical
@$$ to the bone. The Lady Killers grabbed both of his arms, and with all their force,
whipped Apocalypse right into FNA's Hangover clothesline. Apocalypse was laid out
on the mat, but his punishment was far from over. E.D.A lifted him up by the arms
and held him in place as Magnum stepped up to the plate and delivered his most powerful
P.I. Punches combination ever. The last punch Magnum delivered split the big man's
eyebrow wide open and the bloodbath began. While Apocalypse was still somewhat standing,
Mr. Magic grabbed him by the neck and executed a flawless Abracadabra to break the
bastard's jaw. Apocalypse was trying to talk, but all he could do was spit out the
blood and drool that filled his mouth. Big Mac lifted him up off the mat and further
injured his jaw by quickly performing the Mac Attack. The move slammed Apocalypse
face-first onto the mat and added to the puddle of blood he already started. Everybody
rolled Apocalypse onto his back and held him down as Ranger X leapt 10 feet in the
air for his Sure Thing and crashed down on him with the impact of a dozen anvils.
Apocalypse was spewing more and more blood from his mouth as Lumberjack stuck him
between his knees and buried him into the mat with a Log Jam. That's when Taz grabbed
a chair from ringside and brought it into the ring. Apocalypse was crawling on his
elbows as Taz looked down on him in disgrace. "You're not even worth a Lights
Out." Taz remarked as Lumberjack grabbed one of Apocalypse's legs and locked
on a standing leglock. The hold not only stretched out Apocalypse's leg, but it
also exposed his knee to severe injury. Apocalypse didn't have the energy to fight
back as he saw Taz prop the chair up on his knee and take a couple of steps back.
Before Taz did anything, he said to Apocalypse, "You know what's funny about
this? Two years ago, you were the one taking out MY knee…actually, that's not funny
at all." Taz then unloaded a thundering kick to Apocalypse's knee and the only
sound louder than the shot to the chair was the shattering of Apocalypse's knee.
The sound of cracking bone and snapping joints was enough to make any man cringe,
but it had no effect on the seven men standing inside the ring. The stood by and
watched as Apocalypse rolled around in his own blood with the lower half of his leg
spinning at 360 degrees. The big man yelled at the top of his lungs as he tried
pulling himself up on one leg. He squeezed onto the ropes and slowly pulled himself
up, one rope at a time, but as he shifted all his weight to his leg, Taz reminded
him, "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you." With the
blink of an eye, Taz kicked Apocalypse's other knee and made it official: Apocalypse
would never wrestle again! Apocalypse laid on his back and fought passing out, but
his fight was over. With all seven remaining WYDW wrestlers standing around him,
Apocalypse slipped out of consciousness as Rev. Robert came in to make a final eulogy.
"And there was war in WYDW: me and my men fought against Apocalypse; and Apocalypse
and his Horsemen, and prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in WYDW.
And the big man was cast out, that old serpent, called Apocalypse, and Venom, which
deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out unto Hell, and his Horsemen were cast
out with him. Therefore rejoice, WYDW." Every one of the superstars raised
their arms and belts in victory as WYDW may have lost many battles over the past
two years, but in the end, won the war.