words

i think i’ve waited long enough by now to take a chance –
i’m through with hiding just for you.
i hate to tell you this, but i’ve only been wearing these clothes
because i didn’t want to hurt you.

i know now that it’s not true that what i say will scare you away,
or even just frighten you by yourself
so i’ll give up the act and say
that my story will surprise and probably
shock you, but it has to be.

... i’m really made of butterflies
and warewolves and rattlesnakes
my eyes are really black holes and
my skin made of rubber cement, because
whatever i say always bounces off of me
and onto you, where it sinks
into your quicksand skin.

i’m sorry about that, but hey
it’s not my fault that you are
so vulnerable to these words
that don’t mean a thing.
it’s only that you let them, and
you let them so, so much, so much that
they eat you up inside.

so you only have to realize like i did that
words are made to be eaten and spit out,
not swallowed – then you’ll know like i do
that we’re fine.

and once you know that,
i can tell you without worrying about
hurting you or making you scared
that i’m still hurting inside from
something else, and that i need you to help
me get better. and i don’t want to hurt
you in the process, so you have to learn not to
swallow words first. tell me when you’ve
done that, and we’ll begin.

thanks.

Copyright Mallery February 2003