Some of my correspondents take exception to my assertion that transvestitism is primarily sexual in nature. Others think I don't go far enough! Read their views in this section.
Hi John
My name is Sassy. Like most people in the real world I did not name myself. Rather i was given that name by a sympathetic female friend. My relationship with this woman is emotionally and sometimes physically affectionate but not sexual. Truth be told i don't much enjoy sex. i enjoy cuddling and spooning but not the act of sex. Even crossdressing is not about masturbation. It is about feeling sensual and thinking of myself as sexually attractive. When I ask the question who do I want to be attractive for, I have to answer for myself. I want to feel for myself the sexual attraction i feel for woman. I want to be the woman i desire. I know i contradict myself here but it is the way i feel. I have the beginnings of sexual attraction for woman but it never leads to a desire for intercourse. Rather it seems to get channeled into a desire to become the object of my desires. I think this is my way of saying I don't need or desire anyone else. I am self sufficient. For me that is the real problem with crossdressing. It fosters the illusion that I don't need anyone and it keeps me from facing my fears of physical intimacy. Of course it creates the additional fear of being exposed. particularly the fear that such exposure would destroy my career as a psychologist. With the help of supportive friends whom I am learning to trust i am slowly overcoming both fears. I still have much work to do before I am complete. Perhaps I will never be. I am beginning to think that would be OK and that non of us crossdressers or non crossdressers are ever complete. Hope this helps someone. It has helped me to express it.
Sassy.
Hello,
My name is Nicole. I am a married Transvestite who has been dressing my whole life. What I mean by my whole life is for as long as I can remember I have been dressing. I found your web page very interesting. I am not going to pick it apart and tell you that you are right about certain things and wrong about others. what I will do instead is tell you about my life as a four year old child who crossdresses to this day. I don't know why I started crossdressing or why I continue to dress. There were some periods in my life where I tried to stop but always returned to the lifestyle. I guess if I know why I dress I would be able to control it or stop dressing. You refer to sex as a major drive for men who crossdress. I can tell you that I didn't start crossdressing for sexual gratification. It wasn't until I was seventeen that I first masturbated with the aid of female clothing. A very old and wise transvestite once told me to stay dressed after gratifying myself and you will learn that there is more to crossdressing than just sex. I once agreed with a lot of your theory's about transvestitism. I believed for a long time that it was sexual but in my 33 years of crossdressing I have come to realize that it is my sexuality that causes me to be a transvestite. I believe there is a difference between sex and sexuality. Maybe I was born this way maybe it was my environment. I have gone through many stages of transvestitism and I am at the point in my life where I don't do this for sexual gratification anymore. I dress to fulfill and express my internal feminine self. My mannerism is feminine when I dress because it feels natural for me to act like woman when I am dressed. I used to dress in your words "as the object of my desire." However at this point in my life I have decided to dress like a normal woman would dress and yes sometimes I wear slacks ! when I crossdress not a mini skirt like so many crossdressers do. I have come out of the sexual stage of crossdressing and have entered an emotional stage of crossdressing. A stage in which I am fulfilling the internal need to be feminine. Well, I guess this is enough about me for now. I hope you enjoy this and helps with your website.
Bye for now,
Nicole
John,
I've been a crossdresser since I was about 18. I first wore heels on my honeymoon, they were my wife's. I had gone through all the purging, confessing etc. My take on this is that my sex life has never really been great. I masturbated from an early age and continue to well into my 40s. My wife seldom goes down on me and when she does it is poor. I think that most cds have a problem in this area, that's why we dress. We admire ourselves in the mirror and then masturbate over the image.
Rebecca
The background on this page features Gwendy. You can see Gwendy's website here.
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