/shout Lvl 34 Bard lfg

Everquest, or "EverCrack" as some players call it due to it's highly addictive qualities, is a Fantasy based MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). Now, anyone who knows me well knows that i'm a super-nerd deluxe. Everquest was made for people like me. It preys on our geekish fetishes and needs while satisfying our most basic nerdish requirements.
In this article I am going to try and describe what it is that makes EverQuest ( to be referred to as EQ from here on) so god damned addictive, so that you all can understand how it's managed to dominate my waking (and sleeping, yes I have dreams about it) life. I'll begin, funnily enough, at the beginning.

It began in Africa-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca

No, it didn't actually. It began about 4 years ago while I was reading one of my favourite monthly gaming magazines, Hyper. The issue I was reading had a review of a little game called "EverQuest" for the PC. Now, at this stage in my life I didn't have a PC. I was the proud owner of a Playstation, and mainly read the magazine for these reviews. But this review caught my eye. It had wonderful screen shots of castles, and monsters and wizards and so forth. Being a huge fantasy fan, this naturally made me wet my keks with excitement. "Wow" I thought. "I wish I had a PC so that I could get that game. It looks so cool".

Through the magic of writing, I will now fast forward a couple of years to when I got my first PC. A rather dodgy Compaq from Smith's City, which cost me far too much. But by this stage, EQ had pretty much faded from my memory. And it wasn't until just over a year ago when, while browsing through the Gamesman on High Street where the little troll looking fellow works, I came across a copy of the game on sale. "Ahhh", says I. "That's that cool game that I read about ages ago. And it's only $30!" Needless to say, I laid my money down and bounced home with glee. Upon getting home and trying to install the game, the trouble started...

Much gnashing of teeth

All MMORPG's have a unique account key on the disc case of each game. This is to stop pirating and sharing of accounts. After installing the game, I was prompted to input my key and happily did so. To my annoyance, a message popped up saying: "This account key is already in use". Ummm, no it's not. I just bought the game. To cut a long story short, nothing I did made the account key work. So I took the game back to the store, and informed Little Troll of my problem. No worries, says he. He'd phone up the distributors and get me another key. After getting the new key, I went home and tried again. Same problem. By now, i'm rather fucked off. I go back to the store and explain that the same thing happened. Little Troll acts all suspicious now, like maybe i'm some sort of account key thief. But he says he'll send the game away up north to get tested. He does this...

One month later. I still haven't heard from Little Troll, so I go into the store and ask what the story is. Of course, it'd been sitting behind the counter for a couple of weeks and I just hadn't been called. There's a shiny new CD case, with a new account key. Upon getting home, I cross my fingers and type it in...."Your account key has been accepted".

Well, it's about damn time.

This is where the magic happens

After having a squizz through the manual, I start playing. From the selection of: Monk, Bard, Ranger, Magician, Warrior, Shaman, Necromancer, Paladin, Shadow Knight, Druid, Enchanter, Wizard, Rogue and Cleric i've decided to create a wizard. Now, creating characters, i've found, can be quite difficult. Mainly due to trying to think up a cool name. After a few aborted attempts, and conferring with my friends at Burger King, I decide on "Zoidberg", in honour of my favourite character from "Futurama". Thus Zoidberg was born into the land of Norrath (the world where EQ is set).

I won't bore you with the details of Zoidberg's early days, but I will mention how fucking confused I was. You see, when I started I was what players call a "Newbie", or "Noob". Basically, I didn't know shit. People were auctioning for things and calling stuff out in EQ shorthand and I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. Of course I learned, but for the first few days I was clueless.

What's it all about then?

I'll try to explain now what the basic premise of EverQuest is. Essentially, you have to gain experience which increases your character's level which in turns makes you stronger and allows you to gain new spells/skills. You get experience by killing monsters and by doing quests. To help you in killing monsters, you can group with a maximum of 5 other players. This makes hunting safer, especially if a group is well balanced with tanks (warriors or other melee classes who can take, and dish out, punishment), healers (clerics preferably, although shamans and druids are useful) and casters (magicians, wizards and necromancers).
This is a great aspect of the game. You're not just playing with computer controlled characters, you're playing alongside people from all around the world.

Another great aspect of the game is that is has it's own economy. Most monsters drop cash, or loot (items), when you kill them. If you save up enough, you can buy new equipment from NPC's (non player characters, or characters controlled by the game). Or you can auction to buy and sell with other players. There's nothing quite as satisfying as saving up all your hard earned cash, and then buying that new robe you've been wanting...holy shit, i'm such a nerd.

Characters can reach a maximum level of 60, which takes a hell of long time to get to. As you get higher in level, gaining exp is slower. Along with levelling, you can also take up trade skills such as brewing, jewel craft, fletching, blacksmithing, tailoring and so on. These are nice little diversions, and if you get skilled enough in a particular craft you can make decent money by selling your items to players.

Basically, that's the game. It may not sound it, but it's ridiculously addictive. I've spent more all nighters on this game than any game before it. That "i'll just play for another hour or so, to see if I can get to level 30" factor is very high. The game is evil, and it knows it. But it sure is fun.

My multiple personalities

You're allowed to have up to 8 characters on EQ, so as the month's went by i've started up another couple. I'll introduce you to them, and you can all be friends and snuggle.

Zoidberg Zaius

My first character. When you reach level 20, you're allowed to choose a surname. I chose "Zaius", in honor of "Doctor Zaius" from Planet Of The Apes. When Zoid was about level 25 I joined a Guild called Ancients Of The Realm, which a fellow wizard friend was in. A guild is basically a gathering of like minded players. Since i've joined, we've been on many raids and hunting sessions. It's a good guild and everyone is friendly and helpful. Tralalala, i'm getting all misty eyed.
Zoid is now up to level 46, but I haven't played him for a month or so.

Redlum Xof

Redlum Xof (say the name backwards) was my second character. I was getting a little bored with playing a caster, due to all the sitting around they have to do, so I thought i'd start up a monk. Monk's are basically martial arts experts. Redlum is an Iksar, which are a lizard race much hated by most citizens of Norrath. But he knows he's cool. He was a difficult character to level initially, cause monks can't carry much because if they carry over a certain weight their agility goes down. Also, being kill on sight around most of Norrath isn't very nice. But i'm fond of him, and i'll continue to level him gradually.
Red's up to level 20.

Smoove Grooves

Ahhh, Smoove. My third character. Smoove is a bard, which i've discovered are a very fun class to play. Bards use their songs to deal out damage to monsters and buff (raise the stats) of their party members. Smoove is heaps of fun, and is always a challenge to play. He's my main character now, and I spend most of my time playing him.
He's up to level 34.

The Aftermath

Many stolen hours of my life. Seriously. Each character has a record of how long you've been playing them, real time. Last I checked, i'd been playing Zoid for over a month. Think about that for a moment. That's a solid month of me sitting on my ass staring at a computer screen. It's quite disturbing, actually. If I think about it too long I tend to get depressed and begin to feel like i'm wasting my life. But nuts to that! It's a fun way to waste time.

I'll continue playing EverQuest for as long as it interests me. I've gone through stages where i've gotten sick of the game, and haven't played for a few weeks. But I always come back. I don't play as much as I used to, but I can't see myself stopping anytime soon.

Oh, and for the benefit of Damo mainly, I have to finish on our official nerd noise. *Ahem*

Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Glavin!

- Pete the uber nerd

Update 4/4/02 - Read this article, and you'll understand everything....