The Grind-tastic Groovemaster Miffy Griffer was wandering down the road to Funkadelic Central, when all of a sudden he got a searing pain in his splein. "Ahhhh, crap riffy shit!!" He cried out, and fell to the ground in a foetal ball. Unbeknownst to Miffy, The Grind-tastic Groovemaster heard his cry of pain from the comfort of his Smoove Crib. "One of my minions is in scratchy scratch trouble!!" He shouted. Pulling on his phat threads, The Grind-tastic Groovemaster climbed on his Turntables of Tubular Awesome and shot out the window towards Miffy Griffer. Miffy was slowly grinding his last grind when The Grind-tastic Groovemaster arrived on the scene. Looking up at the gnarly groove sight, Miffy was heartened and full of techno yeah. "What's wrong, my wickeddy right on muddy funster!?" Asked Grind-tastic in a solemn and worried sample tone. Writhing in pain, Miffy said "My splein is malfunctioning, oh awesome-tacular yeah rocker of great proportions!" Grind-tastic thought for a moment, and then said "Well, that splein will have to come out then. Rock rock fuck!!" Waving his hands in the air, like he just didn't care, The Grind-tastic Groovemaster spliffed over to his Turntables of Tubular Awesome. Reaching down into the underhead storage compartment, Grind-tastic found what he was looking for. Holding it up in the air, he squeeled "Behold!!! The Vinyl of Block Rocking Beats!! This will get that splein out in no time at all, my sexy little platonic relationship friend." Slapping it onto the Turntables, he put the Needle of Sharp Phonics onto it and then turned up the volume dial all the way up to 11. "Get ready, this is gonna be riffing right off the scale!" All of a sudden, the awesome beats came belting out of the speakers at a fantastic rate. The audiolicious greatness of the groove was enough to bring a tear to anyones eyes, and Miffy Griffer found himself crying like a puffer-vested teen. "I'm gonna add some samples now, and then focus them directly on your splein area. It wont know what hit it!" Jipped Grind-tastic. A grippy sample was finely added. "Help the motherfucking aged!" Screamed the speakers. "Oh my God, that's the funky shit!" Emoted Miffy Griffer, caught up in the moment. As the yeah-ness of the groove found it's way into his stomach, and furthermore onto his splein, Miffy felt like getting up and grinding a nice move. He tried to sit up, but his splein counter-attacked with a beat of it's own." Arghghghgh, it's fighting me!!" Cried Miffy. Looking up from his scratching skills, The Grind-tastic Groovemaster added some drum and bass to his rock to beat the splein into submission. Miffy Griffer felt his splein begin to give up the fight. "It's working! Oh yeah baby, yeah yeah maybe right on!!" After one last flutter of feeble beat bashing, the splein gave up and started up it's normal biological functions again. Feeling riff-a-mundo, Miffy Griffer jumped up and started to breakdance. "I'm the best breakdancer this side of MC Ville, and i'll smooth your hip if you dont feel my groove!" Seeing that Miffy Griffer was fully healed of his naughty splein malfunction, The Grind-tastic Groovemaster packed away his vinyl and climbed aboard his Turntables of Tubular Awesome. "Farewell, funky bitch!! Always keep the groove alive!" And with that, he flew off into the sunset which was directly behind his Smoove Crib. Seeing him fly off, Miffy Griffer stopped his breakdancing and yelled out "All hail the Grind-tastic Groovemaster, for he is truly the yeah guy of awesome okay!" End - DJ Shakey P (I think Damo will be the only person who will appreciate this work ; )